Here we are! The update I promised before the big trip. I hope you stay with me and this story as we will have many things to address when I return. Auditions, the Ball, Nadir, Madame Giry, Meg and Justin, Christine's confession to Erik, the unmasking, the crap brothers and well another very important issue I will let you infer. You may guess from the way this chapter ends. Buckle up for ride ahead. Oh and please feel free to review while I am gone. :)
For a majority of the carriage ride, Nadir and Christine remained silent. At first Christine reasoned that conversation would be difficult, as he was up front driving the carriage. However, she couldn't get the look he had given her and Justin when he saw them in the garden. She then remembered how hurt Meg's eyes looked upon seeing them.
They couldn't possibly think that I would... She would not let that up surd thought continue for another moment. If either one suggested the idea to Erik, she knew he would resort back into his self doubt and loathing. Their future was already on shaking ground with the truth, let alone misunderstandings.
"Monsieur Khan, can you hear me?"
Without turning around Nadir replied. "Perfectly, Mademoiselle Daae."
So much for thinking it had been due to his driving the carriage. "Is it still very far from where we are to meet Erik?"
"No, not terribly. We shall be there on time. I know it is important to him."
"The two of you…Someone may get the wrong idea about your relationship. After all, one minute you seem very protective of the other, and the next you seem to be at each other's throats. I suppose that's what happens when one jumps to the wrong conclusions and misinterprets what they don't understand." She smiled, hoping it would encourage Nadir to comment.
"What other people think of my friendship with Erik makes no difference to me. As far as other people's affairs are concerned, it is none of my business. I'm sure Erik would feel the same."
"Yes, well, he isn't much for propriety, is he?"
Nadir was beginning to wish he hadn't answered at all. His mind was shouting out a million reasons to why he should not be involved in this crusade. The last three days were going around in his mind. The trip into town with Erik consisted of obtaining money. Money that would be needed for bribes and for Nadir to represent a certain image when trying to pose amongst royals. He also wondered how and where someone like Justin fit into this. A prince, must know the de Chagny's, no?
After they had obtained the necessary funds, Erik helped Nadir secure a fake identity and documents. After that, he left him alone to establish a routine and to have others start seeing him around, before he began to ask questions. Erik had spent the last day preparing Christine's birthday surprise.
"Monsieur Khan?"
"I'm sorry Mademoiselle Daae; I must have been lost in thought."
"You said that you wanted to get better acquainted. I think now would be an ideal time, wouldn't you say?" Please don't hate me for what you know nothing about.
"No, I don't think it would be."
"You know, with your being so close to Erik, you are more than welcomed to call me Christine."
After a pause, Nadir's monotone reply stung Christine. "I prefer to refer to you as Mademoiselle."
"In complete frustration she shouted, "Why do you dislike me so?"
This response was not what Nadir expected. He slowed the carriage down, and turned to face her for the first time since they parted. "Why do you care so?"
Christine was now the one taken aback by his candor. "I didn't expect to be right, or I was hoping you would deny it."
"I never said I did or didn't like you. As I told you, what others do is none of my business. However, since you are trying my patience with your endless chatter, I will tell you that Erik is not others. What happens to him matters very much to me. I would be lying if I said I approved of the two of you, but that is because I will not stand by and watch him be hurt again."
He thinks I would hurt my Angel? "I would never hurt him. I love him. What you saw back there was…."
"Please, that is the least of my concerns. The man you say you love, is my dearest friend on this earth. I owe him a debt, I can never hope to repay, no matter how many times I answer his requests. Therefore, I will do anything to ensure he does not go down a path that leads to his destruction. He was almost there once." He then stopped the carriage, as he saw the young woman visibly upset.
"Christine…..He has been in love with you for over a decade. When you left, he was shattered. I don't know how he rebuilt himself, but he did. He had me, and Meggy and Antoinette and of course his work. He was able to move on. Now, I know are not to blame for leaving before, but….If you are not sure of your feelings. If you feel you are with him because he is a comfort or a crutch….I ask that you really ask yourself if it is Erik the man, the flawed disfigured man you want, or are you simply running to shied your heart from what has happened to you with the Vicomte."
Christine could feel her heart breaking, but she did not cry. She would stand up to this man, who in any other circumstance she would marvel at his devotion to her Angel.
"Monsieur, my only mistake two years ago was denying the feelings I felt then for our Erik. His only mistake was not appearing before me and making me see him. Erik the man, the flawed man that we all are in one shape or another. As far as his deformity, I couldn't care less. He's my Erik, all the same. Despite of it and because of it.
For you think I don't wonder if I would even have had a chance to know him if he hadn't been deformed? I bless his deformity, because it allowed us to have a chance. I am sorry you think ill of me. I hope in time you will change your mind. But note this good Monsieur, The only person I have to prove my love to his Erik. I want your acceptance, but it is not needed or required. Now then, as you were hired to take me to my Angel, I suggest you do that and not make us late. For I will have no issue blaming my tardiness on you."
Nadir was shocked by the young woman's bold words. Although he covered well, Christine knew she had won the battle, when he resumed driving and called back to her.
"I shall get you there on time."
…..
Erik was pacing in the field wondering if he had remembered to tell Nadir to take the back roads as it would be quicker. He looked at his pocket watch and cursed the time.
"10 more minutes! Why does the time go do slowly whenever she is not with me?"
He has been planning every detail to the last minute. First the rose bouquet, then his surprise in the field, followed by a catered picnic and then tickets to an opera. He had searched frantically in the hopes that the local opera house in the village would be playing something suitable. Granted, it wasn't the Paris Opera house, but it would be more intimate and allow them to have privacy while they watched the performers. He wanted her to study their movements to help ease her fears about auditions next week .
He then thought of Meg. How he wanted to make the other day up to her and since the opera house they were going to was small, he was confident that Justin could relax and be himself. Justin….why do I have a feeling there is something there I should be concerned about? I was almost happy that we had to cut our meeting short. Why did Christine seem so afraid to be in his presence?
Suddenly he heard the horses from the carriage and glanced at his pocket watch. "3pm, exactly!"
Christine saw Erik in the field and once the carriage slowed down she opened the door.
"Stop that! Wait until we stopped!"
"I'm fine, Nadir." She jumped out on to the grass and ran with her arms opened to him.
Erik was about to protest her reckless behavior when he saw she saw carrying his bouquet. He instantly started running towards her with his arms opened widely. She practically jumped into his arms.
"My Christine! Happy Birthday my love."
With her arms still hugging him tightly she repeated over and over again how she missed him. "Erik, don't ever go away again. I couldn't wait to see you."
He loosened his hold, to see her face. "Angel, please do be careful. You could have fallen and hurt yourself. Auditions are next week. I can't have my Amita hobbling on stage, now can I?"
She blushed. "I just couldn't wait to see you."
He took her hands in his and kissed each one. "I trust Nadir was respectable?"
She never took his eyes off of him. "Very. I think we understand each other better now."
Erik was about to respond when Nadir approached. "I trust that you won't be needing me for a while, Erik?"
He glanced at Nadir and then back at Christine, with a large smile on his face. "You're dismissed. I'll see you later for our other little matter."
"As you wish." He bowed, but was unnoticed by the couple.
After a few minutes, Erik and Christine noticed that they were still staring at one another alone in an empty field with their hands entwined. "Angel, where are we?"
"Hmm….Oh! I almost forgot. I brought you here to introduce you to a very special friend of mine." Reluctantly, he let go of her hands. "Wait one moment."
Christine nodded, absentmindedly smelling her bouquet, when Erik made a motion with his hands and called out a name.
"Cesar!"
At once a white stallion emerged from what appeared out of nowhere. He charged forward and stopped within inches of his master. Erik pet the animal gently and instantly small pieces an apple appeared to reward the animal for its good behavior.
"Christine, please come here. I want to introduce you to a very dear friend."
In complete awe, she walked toward Erik and the stallion. "You never cease to amaze me."
"Why would I ever stop?" He then took her hand and placed it on Cesar's face."Now, dear boy, this is a beauty I was telling you about, so no funny business, you hear? You promised to make me look good."
Christine giggled as she watched his playful interaction with the magnificent animal. "He's so beautiful. Where did you find him?"
"He actually found me years ago. Truthfully I think he stays because he is partial to my apples."He winked.
"Hello Cesar."
The horse nodded.
"I think he likes you. Wonderful, another suitor I am to compete with." He had meant it as a joke, but Christine remembered Nadir's comments from earlier and became uneasy. "Angel?"
"I'm fine. I just must be getting light headed from my lack of eating today. Iwas just so excited to see you."
"Well then, let's go to lunch shall we?"
She looked around and became confused. "How….."
"You ride, don't you?"
"You mean on Cesar? I…. Erik, it's been a very long time."
"Fear not, I would never let you fall." He motioned for her to come as he lifted her up on to Cesar. "He's gently with the right people." Once she was secure, he climbed up behind her and took the reins.
Their bodies were very close and when Erik took the reins, they were face to face. Christine inhaled his scent and whispered, "Erik, there are no other suitors." She then made a bold move and kissed his masked nose.
Erik felt a tilde wave of heat soar through him. He swallowed hard, keeping his composure as he motioned for Cesar to move.
The ride was perfect. Christine took in every advantage at having an opportunity to be so close to Erik. She kept telling herself that they had no choice but to touch and lean in towards one another. She never wanted the ride to end. Erik on the other hand was finding the ride a little too close for comfort. He could smell Christine's hair and they way she sighed when she would lean into him was driving him mad. How he wanted to kiss her. To explore every morsel of her tantalizing lips , and to breathe in her air. He tried to get his mind off of such carnal thoughts, but the moment he would do so, she would touch his leg, or press up against him and the feeling would stir all over again inside him. Without a moment too soon, they had arrived at their picnic spot.
"We're here." Thank God. Erik practically jumped off the horse and walked a few inches away to take a deep breath and relax his excitement. He then remembered he had to help Christine off. He turned back to her and saw she had her arms opened up to him.
"I thought you had forgotten." She teased.
"I….I just had to inspect the surroundings, my dear."
As he helped her down, neither could deny that they both lingered a little longer than necessary. Christine's eyes caught sight of the elegant display of food and desserts laid out for them on a beautifully decorated table, with candles burning.
"Oh Erik, this is sublime."
"It's just the beginning."He handed her a glass of red wine. "I know you don't like to indulge, but just a wee bit. It's from an excellent vineyard. One of my favorites from Italy."
She took a sip from the glass. "It's wonderful."
He smiled looking pleased at his selection. "Come, we shall dine. We have another engagement later."
"Ah, this is our alone time, correct?"
He started to turn red. "I….That is…."
She giggled, and then took his hand, leading him to the table. "Erik, this is the best birthday I have ever had."
"There could be more so much more, Christine." He took out her chair and then pushed it back in for her. Immediately, he sat across from her and took her hand. "I want you to know of my intentions. When you agreed for me to have a chance with you….. It dawned on me that I haven't recently told you of my….. Arg!" He got up from the table. "Why is it that every time we are together, and I mean ever since we met, am I always searching for the right words or second guessing myself?"
"Angel?"
"When you were a little girl, I would wonder after our lessons if I pushed you too hard or if the stories I told you were appropriate. Then as you got older and …..
She couldn't help but laugh. "Erik, you were an important part of my growing up. I loved your stern, protective ways and you were always so gentle and loving, when I needed it. You were also firm and fair when you needed to be. Everyone should have a friend like you in their lives."
Friend? This time, Erik couldn't hide his frustration. There we are again. One minute friendship, the next she is telling me that I am the only one and she leans into me and lingers on. Does she not know what she is doing? "Christine, you do realize that although I am not experience with physical love, I do react to displays of affection, don't you?"
"What do you mean?"
He kneeled beside her and could sense he was troubled .She smoothed out his hair and he saw he relaxed instantly. "Angel, what weighs on your mind so?"
"I'm just going to say it, Christine and damn the consequences. I love you. I am in love with you mind, body, heart, and soul. I want you to be very clear about what I want. I want you, I want us to be an us and talk of us being a we, not an I or you. I am not asking you to marry me just yet. I know that we still need some time, but I need to know if …..Maybe….once I prove myself….."
"Erik, I love you too. I want what you want."
"Are you sure? Are you so sure I am the one you really want, or is it the Vicomte?"
"Wh..Why would you ask me that?"
He laughed nervously. "Do you remember those romance novels you scoffed at before?"
She nodded, unsure of where he was going with the conversation.
"Some are conventional and require no thought. Yet others…..There is one about a couple who are drawn together because one of them was hurt by a former relationship and the other is seen as a savior. At first appearances, you seem happy for them because they found each other until you realize that they aren't equally in love. One is only there because they don't want to be hurt again, so they find a relationship of convenience." He breathed heavily. "I love you, but I want it all, Christine, I want to know that you do want me and love me the same way. I know my love is consuming, and demanding and at times perhaps suffocating, but it's real and true and …."He stopped and shook his head. "Christ, if I were you I'd run. I ruined this, didn't I?"
She was up out of her chair and went to him, cradling him in her arms and they both sank to the ground. "Erik, I love you. What you want, I want the same. Why is it so hard to see that?"
"Because one minute you speak of love but the next you talk of friendship…..I sometimes feel you want my touch, but then I feel you recoil away from me in fear. Christine what am I supposed to feel?"
She started to shake. "Erik…I know when we were riding on Cesar I may have taken a few more liberties than one should, but I… I do want you. I want you in every way a lover should be wanted. Being on Cesar, well to be so close to you and not have to deal with whether it was right or wrong…I took advantage of an opportunity and it was unfair to you. Giving you mixed signals like that was wrong, because I do need more time."
He nodded."To be sure."
"No! I…..I shouldn't have behaved that way on Cesar. I was wrong and cruel. I just wish so much to be ready but I can't, just yet."
Erik caressed her face. "He must have hurt you terribly. Damn me and my self loathing. I make everything about me. Christine, I can wait on the physical side of things. I've waited 35 years for a woman's love. Why would I mess it up now? I am not asking for that. I just want you to know that you can trust me. I would never take advantage of you. If you and I were to ever kiss…..I know the limits and I would never go beyond them."
"But my body wants you to. I just can't allow my inner self to accept that yet." Not until you know the truth. I can't tell him now though. It's not the right time.
He gave her a double look. "You mean you think of me in that way, now?"
She nodded, but her eyes went to the floor. Erik got up to his feet and then helped Christine up from off the floor. "We can't have this dress dirtied." He brushed her back and took out the chair again for her.
"You say when. The fact that I know that you feel the same is more than enough. Christine, you have made me the happiest man in the world."
They looked at one another and Christie slowly moved closer to his face. He didn't dare move, as she softly pressed her lips to his. It was gentle and nonthreatening. It was tender and both knew what it meant. A small gesture to show him, she meant everything she said.
Although their kiss lasted seconds, it still had the power to stir up a powerful force between them. For as their relationship was more than just physical, once that part of their love was allowed to be unleashed, it would launch a fire that would never be put out. It was thrilling as well as terrifying for them both.
