Thank you to my awesome reviewers. A little warning, the first part of this chapter may be a little triggering.
Jasper's POV
"Please don't hurt me" I begged.
"You're mine; I can do whatever I want you filthy piece of shit" he replied.
He had me blindfolded and my wrists were tied together and my arms were raised like they were stretching as he had pushed me down on to my knees. I'm too small for this; after all, I'm only nine years old. I have no idea what he wants to do to me this time. He doesn't usually tie me up or blindfold me. He usually just lets me sit on his bed as he touches me and if he wanted me to touch him, he tells me to do so, so why was he doing it this way today?
"Open your mouth" my father ordered.
I did as I was told and as I did so, he forced something big in my mouth, reaching my throat and I began to choke.
"What the fuck? Do it properly" he demanded.
He began to push himself in and out of my mouth and I was left with no choice but to suck on him. I was very familiar with this process but the whole thing with tying and blinding me was still a puzzle. Was he going to try something new? I heard him moan and the sound of it made me sick to my stomach; especially because I was the cause of it. After just 3 minutes, he had pulled out of my mouth and began to take my trousers off followed by my pants.
"Get up" he ordered.
I was able to stand as he lifted me to whatever it was he tied me to, he had untied it but the rope was still wrapped around my wrists. He guided me to what felt like the edge of his bed, putting me in a position of me bending over against it.
"You're a big boy now Jasper. I'm sure you're ready for something else" he whispered in my ear.
As he said this, he suddenly inserted what I think were his fingers into my back end. Ok, this was new. His fingers were cold and a little slippery so he probably put some sort of gel like substance on them. He then began to move his fingers around and moved them apart like he was trying to open me up a little. I whimpered as I felt a little pain.
"You haven't felt anything yet" he whispered.
He pulled his fingers out of me as his hand moves around my shaft but at the same time, I felt something try to push its way up my entrance. I had a feeling it was my father. He had never done this before; I mean, he has done every other sexual thing but this and now he was going to steal my innocence.
He pushed himself into me and since this was a first time, the pain came strong as I screamed out loud.
"It's okay Jasper. You will get use to it soon and then you'll enjoy it. Soon you will be begging me to do this to you all the time" he spoke as he pushed himself deeper into my body.
I continued to scream as he slowly pulls out and then in again. He repeatedly does this getting faster and faster each time until soon; the pain is so strong that I can't find the strength to scream again. He kept on going, treating me like his sex doll, groaning every now and again until finally he climaxed inside of me. After he finishes, he lets himself out. I hear the movement of clothing and the sound of jeans being zipped up meaning my father was putting his clothes back on. I still felt naked so he had no intention for doing the same to me and I couldn't exactly do it because I was still tied.
I then heard the door close.
"Dad? Daddy don't leave me. Daddy I'm cold" I called after him.
I heard no reply from him and I begin to cry. Why won't he untie me? Why won't he even let me see anything? I was very nervous and my insides hurt so much that I wasn't even sure if I could move if I was untied.
"Daddy! Daddy, let me go!" I helplessly shouted.
I begin to struggle against the rope, trying to shake myself free but it was very secure. My body began to move mentally as I refuse to let the rope beat me. I was stronger than it was, wasn't I? I let myself continue to fail breaking free followed by my panicked groans. I was even using my legs to kick although it would have no affect on weakening the rope.
"Jasper calm down"
My tears fall more strongly as I realised that my father is very likely to leave me like this for a long time. I was absolutely freezing, hungry, in pain and now in major panic mode and I refuse to give up my fight against the rope that wouldn't give my wrists any freedom.
"Jasper, wake up. It's not real; it's all a dream"
As I continue to let my body move mentally, I feel hands on my shoulders. Did he come back to let me go? Or was he going to punish me again?
"Please let me go. I don't want to be here" I cried.
My father said nothing but I felt arms wrap around me. That wasn't my father. That was too comfortable for that to be his arms.
My eyes open to see golden brown ones staring back at me. I tense, knowing that I was in the arms of someone else's but instead of freaking out and pulling back; I grab his wrist and tightly held it so that he wouldn't leave me. Not like my father did. I shivered at the memory of the first time my father raped me. I was only nine; how could I be so sick. The nightmare had me very shaken up that even the sound of Carlisle breathing made me nervous. Even his voice made me flinch.
"Jasper, this is the third time I've had to forcefully wake you up. How often do you have nightmares?" He asked.
It was true. I had been here for four nights now and this is the third time that I had alerted them with my screaming and they had to wake me up by force because of some sort of safety reason because apparently I could hurt myself by the crazy way I move. I have only banged my head so far because Carlisle keeps coming to the rescue, saving me from my father. I just wish it was Alice. I need her.
"Dunno, I never slept long enough to have them" I admitted.
"Did he stop you from sleeping as well?" Carlisle asked.
"No, I chose to avoid it as much as I could" I whispered.
"Why?" He questioned.
"When I was younger, I was always having nightmares about um... about what he had done to me the previous day. He didn't like it when I woke him up with my scream so he always came into my room and...and he always woke me up by banging my head against a wall" I admitted as I began to cry.
He rocked me a little to comfort me and remained silent, allowing me to go on. I wasn't the kind of person to just offer information but this was Alice's dad. If I trust Alice, I must trust her father.
"There was this one night that I had a bad dream and I guess the screaming drove him crazy because he came into my room again that night with a beer bottle and..." I paused and took a deep breath.
I tried to stop the tears falling down my face but I was too weak to do so. At least I wasn't shaking as much now. As soon as I felt enough strength, I continued to speak.
"He hit me on the head with it. The glass bottle had smashed all over my bed and my hair started to go red with blood and the worst part...the worst part was that he just tied me down on my bed and then he just left my room. I had to spent that night lying in glass and I could hardly sleep because of the pain of it cutting my skin. Ever since then, I have forced myself to sleep for a maximum of four hours a night because I don't want that to happen again. That night I spent in Alice's room was the first long sleep that I have had in seven years" I informed.
I wasn't surprised that my nightmare had stopped when I was sleeping in Alice's room. After all, she was the one that took the bad things in life away from me. I so desperately missed her.
"Thank you for sharing that with me Jasper. It's really good to see that your confidence is starting to show" he praised.
"I need her Carlisle. I want her here" I desperately spoke.
He sighed at me and looked into my eyes again.
"You really do miss her, don't you?" Carlisle realised.
I nodded eagerly at him in hope that he would let her see me but he didn't answer. That's when a sudden thought occurred to me making me pull out of Carlisle's grip and back away against the wall.
"Jasper, what's wrong?" He confusedly asked.
"You don't like me. You don't want Alice to see me because you think that I'm a nutcase" I accused.
"Jasper, that's not true"
"Yes it is!" I shouted back leaving Carlisle surprised.
I suddenly looked to the floor and tensed in discomfort; failing to prepare for whatever punishment he was going to try on me.
"I'm sorry sir" I rapidly whispered.
Carlisle carefully neared me and crouched down to my level.
"Jasper, look at me" he instructed.
I obeyed immediately although I felt rather fearful when I lifted my eyes to his.
"I don't hate you and I do want Alice to visit you but I'm doing this for your benefit. I want you to focus on getting better" he tried to reassure.
"But I am better. There is nothing wrong with me. I want Alice" I demanded.
Carlisle only sighed. He must be getting impatient. That means he'll give up on me. What will I do then? They'll send me to one of those horrible places where I would get no freedom whereas Alice and her family will be living peacefully. Maybe that's how it should be.
"You shouldn't have started helping me in the first place. I'm just wasting your time" I whispered to him.
"No. No Jasper, do not say things like that; you know that's not true. I care for you, Ok and I want to help you get through this no matter what. Don't let me hear you say that again" he firmly told me.
I didn't understand how he still felt like I was worth helping because I really wasn't. I wasn't fixable. I will always be a freak but if he is willing to waste his time helping me, then it's his choice to do so. I wasn't forcing him to.
"When can I get out of here?" I asked him.
He thought about his answer carefully before speaking.
"I'm not the one to make the decision but they did inform me that you might just be well enough to go home soon but first, they need to be sure that you are improving" Carlisle informed me.
I smiled a little. If Carlisle still lets me live with him for a little while, I would get to see Alice again but hopefully, I would get to see her before that because I truly wanted her with me. She would take my nightmares away and that's what I really needed.
But what I needed most was Alice.
Ok, I just want to let you guys know that the flashback/nightmare right at the beginning was the first time that his father had raped him; just to make that clear to you.
So... tell me what you think.
