Today we celebrate two momentous events, my dear readers (well actually three but the third one is at the bottom): Halloween and over 400 reviews. YAYNESS! I FEEL LOVED!
5oclock.autumn: somehow writing the Hilaria chapters is easier…maybe because they don't need to advance the plot.
alsdssg: hell, neither do I. but its necessary. Fear the boredom of Saturnina!
Apollamarine: THANK YOU FOR SEEING SENSE.
dracosfling: yes I'm very good at pwnage, I know.
DragonRider2000: ack, spiders…good ideas though…
Draye: yeah. Good haul this year, no?
Elevanya: you know, I don't actually MIND the color pink. It's a nice color. Don't automatically assume that makes me a girly girl fembot freak. That pisses me off.
IHateSeverusSnape: more to come; oh yes precious, lots more.
Kontraband: oh gods PLEASE DON'T that will give me such a headache…thank you, though.
Lady-Luthien-Ancalimon: ack. the THING.
Liah Cauthon: KABOOM. That's just me being random.
Sarimia: yes! There will be more! In fact, there IS more!
Single-Black-Rose: …yeah well POO TO YOU.
Snowfur: yup. Galby's gonna be mad. Not yet though.
sock monkeys: write and may good fortune go with you.
SOPROL: thank you for taking pity! thank you!
Voldy's Worst Nightmare: I feel so loved…
Whispering Lillies: Many sleepless nights will be had over the loss.
xLzM: Islanzadi will HATE her.
hilary potter harrys sis: …huh. Um, please see bottom note…
Chapter Twenty-Nine: Candy Mountain, Charlie!
"Ahaha! Now that you know magic I can learn your true name!" cackled Galbatorix.
Hilaria was unfazed. "Uh…okay? Shoot."
"Ah hah, but I already know it!" the insane king shrieked. "Michelle! Michelle!"
"Dude, that's not my true name." Hilaria raised an eyebrow.
"What? It's not? Dammit!" The king stormed off angrily.
"Hn." Murtagh stood against the wall.
Hilaria rounded on him, deviousness sparkling in her eyes. "Say, Paul, do you believe in…unicorns?"
Murtagh blinked. "Um. No. Unicorns aren't real."
She advanced closer. "Even ones named…Charlie?" Her voice dropped to a whisper.
"Personal bubble! Personal bubble!" he yelled. "And what the hell kind of name is Charlie?"
"Charlie! Wake up, Charlie! Yeah, Charlie you silly sleepyhead, wake up!" chanted Hilaria in a hideous singsong voice. Murtagh backed away slowly, then turned and ran. Hilaria pursued, easily keeping up with him.
"We found a map, to Candy Mountain! Yeah, we're going to Candy Mountain, Charlie! It'll be an adventure! We're going on an adventure!"
Murtagh began to scream to try and drown out the horrible thing that is Charlie the Unicorn, a YouTube video Saturnina had shown her a while ago.
"Our first stop is over there, Charlie!" Hilaria pointed, at a sewer.
"Oh god, what is that?" said Murtagh, unintentionally following the script.
"It's a leoplurodan! A MAGICAL leoplurodan! It's gonna guide our way to candy mountain!"
Murtagh rolled his eyes. "Okay, you do know there is no actually Candy Mountain, right?"
Hilaria gave him an accusing stare. "Shun the nonbeliever! Shun! Shun….!"
Murtagh blinked. "…Yeah." Somewhere on the other side of the castle, Shruikan roared.
"It has spoken! It has shown us the waaaaay!" Hilaria bounded off down the corridor.
"It didn't say ANYTHING!"
Murtagh rolled his eyes again and followed Hilaria into the gardens, which had several bridged streams running through them. Hilaria stopped in front of one of the older, more decrepit bridges.
"It's just over this bridge, Charlie, this magical bridge of hope and wonder!" she enthused in that horrible voice.
Murtagh grimaced and wondered, not for the first time and not for the last, why he was barefoot. "Is anyone getting, like, totally covered in splinters? Seriously, we shouldn't even be ON this thing."
"Charlie…Charlie….Charlie…"
"I'm right here, what do you want!" yelled Murtagh, seriously annoyed now.
"We're on a bridge, Charlie!"
Murtagh deadpanned. A passing gardener looked at them strangely but shook his head and kept walking.
"WE'RE HERE!" the gleeful yell brought caused the poor Rider to jump. There was a small pile of candy on the ground.
"Well what do you know, there actually is a candy mountain," remarked Murtagh, looking bemused."
"Go inside the candy mountain cave, Charlie!"
"Yeah, go inside the cave!" The sound of the second voice came from Galbatorix.
Oh crap, he's never gonna shut up about this… Murtagh groaned to himself. But the King ignored him and rounded on Hilaria.
"JUST WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY THRONE ROOM?"
"I, uh, um, well, I, uh, HE HELPED!" Hilaria shrieked, pointing at Murtagh.
"What? No I didn't!" He yelped, startled, giving various denials.
"You so did! I can fingerprint the sharpies!"
"What does fingerprinting mean?" asked Galbatorix interestedly.
Hilaria waved him aside. "It's when you match a person's fingerprints to find out if they touched something. HE HELPED ME WITH THE VANDALISM!"
"I DID NOT!"
And within seconds a fistfight had broken out.
Galbatorix cradled his head in one hand. What am I going to do with these two?
"I'd like to be under the sea in an octopus' garden with you." –Ringo Starr in the Beatles song "Octopus's Garden."
I don't care if it's short, I am short on time. I only realized about a day ago that I needed a Halloween chapter.
Well…everyone, I've had a change of heart. let's all stop being mean to Hilary, she was very nice in her apology. I don't feel like posting it, look it up on the reviews page.
Note to Hilary: 'shacking' is slang for having sex. I think you wanted to say you were 'shaking.'
HAVE FUN GETTING CANDY!
