'Any idea what you want to do for your birthday?' Maddie asks as we sit in the greenhouse, halfway through Herbology. Having Herbology last class on a Wednesday is a real bore.
'I think it may be a bit late now,' I say. 'Seeing as its Saturday,' I remind her.
'Yeah…guess I left it a little late,' she allows.
'Just admit it, Madeline. You forgot.' I carefully pour yellow coloured liquid over the plant in front of us. It soaks into the soil straight away. I write on the paper that this potion is not affective on the plant.
'I did not forget it. I was just planning your present so much that I didn't think of your party,' she lies.
'Yeah, I believe you.'
'Really!' she insists.
'Look Maddie, its ok. Sirius and I might be going into Hogsmeade,' I tell her as I pick up another vial of pinkish liquid.
'Dumping us for a boy?'
'You forgot,' I point out.
'I didn't forget. It simply…didn't jump to the forefront of my mind in time,' she says defensively.
'Ok,' I sigh.
'I think you're spending too much of your time with your boyfriend,' Maddie frowns, watching me pour the potion over the plant.
'Really?' I ask, annoyed.
'Yes. You need to get some separation.'
'How do I do that? We live in the same place, socialise in the same place, take most of the same classes, eat in the same place-'
'I get it. I just think you should spend some time with other friends.'
'I see you all the time,' I object.
'Boy friends.'
I pause and take a deep breath, which I regret as I get a lung-full of the horrid smelling potion. 'I see James all the time,' I say delicately.
'I'm not talking about him.'
'Then I have no idea who you are talking about,' I lie.
'Matthew. You haven't spoke to him since the party-'
'He hasn't spoken to me either, I'll point out.'
'You've been avoiding him.'
'I haven't!'
'Amy, yesterday you ducked behind Professor Binns when you saw him coming.'
'Didn't do much good, he still saw me,' I mutter. 'And, he just walked right past.'
'What's he supposed to do? He likes you and you don't like him back,' Maddie says reasonably. I say nothing, concentrating on not spilling the acidic potion. 'Unless…you do like him back?'
I sigh and set down the vial. 'I don't know,' I say wretchedly.
'You don't know?' she repeats unsympathetically.
'No, I don't,' I snap. 'It's not easy. I feel like it should be obvious. Sirius is my boyfriend and he's brilliant, but then Matthew is-'
'Not relevant to Herbology, unless you're discussing his skill with Mandrakes,' Professor Grubbly says sternly. She examines our sheet of parchment with our answers. With a frown she says, 'Less chit-chat girls. Maybe then you'd know that Hippogriff urine is not affective.'
'I haven't been seeing all that much of Sirius lately anyway,' I say under my breath.
!
'So I heard you're in a bit of a spiffy,' Lily says, sitting on my bed beside me. I look out the window and shrug. 'Regarding Matthew and Sirius,' she continues.
'Doesn't news travel fast when it travels through the Madeline Ashton tunnel?'
She laughs softly once. 'Want to talk about it?'
'I don't even know what to say. My thoughts aren't even making any sense. I've been avoiding Matthew, Sirius and I can't have a conversation without it going awkward anymore, which I suspect is because I now know Matthew likes me and to top it all off, my period is starting to last longer,' I finish with a huff.
'I've got muggle tablets you can take if you're having pains,' she suggests.
'I don't have my period now.'
'Then what are you complaining about?'
'I'm in a complaining mood.'
'I see.' She nods and slides off the bed. Then she scrambles underneath it and emerges with a big bar of chocolate. 'A little bit of choccy makes everything better,' she says as she settles herself back on the bed, cross legged.
'Yeah, but that's not mine,' I says, confused.
She grins. 'I know. It's Cathy Heinz's. She hides it under your bed so Rebecca Scaleton won't find it.'
'Aren't you sneaky?' I smile, taking the piece she's offering me.
'You sound so approving of my sneakiness. And sometimes it's ok to be sneaky,' she says.
'I don't know what to do, Lily,' I groan, collapsing backwards so that my head and torso hang off the side of the bed.
Lily joins me in the same position. There's a sign of a true friend, because this is one seriously uncomfortable way to lie.
'How about we make a list of things you like about them both?' she suggests.
'Ok. Who will we start with?'
'Sirius, I should think.'
'Sirius,' I hum thoughtfully. 'He's funny.'
'He thinks he's funny.'
'He's determined.'
'I'd say pig-headed.'
'Charming.'
'A lick-arse.'
'Lily.'
'It's my job to point out the bad things,' she says patiently.
'Why?'
'Because you're biased.'
'Fine. But stop getting so much enjoyment out of it.'
'How do you stop enjoying something- ok!' I place my pillow back on the bed. 'Continue.'
'I can't remember where I was now.'
'You were at charming,' she reminds me kindly.
'Right. Well, he's clever and witty.'
'You say witty, I say snarky.'
'He's got great arms.'
'Steroids.'
'You know he doesn't take steroids,' I say.
'Show me proof.'
'He doesn't.'
'Let me see the proof,' she says again.
I roll my eyes. 'Back to the list. Err…'
'You've run out of things to say. That's not good,' she says seriously.
'It was going to happen at some point,' I say, exasperated.
'But so soon?'
'He says he really likes me and-'
'Yes, yes,' she says boredly. 'I know, you've told me. I think you're special because you're free, you're brave, you didn't run away when I showed you my drug-induced guns,' she purrs in a deep voice.
I fail in holding in a laugh. 'He doesn't talk like that. And his muscles are not drug-induced,' I say, still laughing.
'Show me the proof,' she demands.
'You're an idiot,' I tell her.
'Hey, I'm lying here with the blood flowing to my head. Show some appreciation.'
'Ok, I appreciate you. Should we move to Matthew?'
'Yes. So, begin.'
'Matthew,' I sigh. 'Well, let's see. He's smart.'
Silence on Lily's behalf.
'Lily…'
'Yes?'
'Aren't you going to contradict?'
'Oh, right! Yes, he is smart. But he works so hard for it. Sirius is more naturally smart.'
'I thought you approved of hard work?'
'I do. I'm just bringing your attention to the contrast,' she says diplomatically.
'Ok. Well, that brings us to the fact that he is hard-working.'
'A little too hard, maybe?'
'He's patient.'
'His patience seems to have run out a bit, hasn't it? Seeing as he is ignoring you.'
'Very true. He's also compassionate.'
'Much more so than Sirius,' she says.
'Sirius is compassionate,' I say feebly.
'No…he's passionate, I'm sure, but not compassionate,' she says surely.
'Matthew…doesn't seem to understand me.'
'I wouldn't say Sirius does either. But then, do boys ever understand women? I mean, look at Potter. As soon as he got Vane off his arm-or should I say penis? - He tried to get me on it. Dirty toe-rag,' she adds in a mutter.
I sigh. 'You are so right.'
'Thank you for agreeing with me! All I ever hear from Maddie is 'Oh, you should give him a chance! Oh, he's so cute! Oh-'
'Yes Lily, I get it. I wasn't really talking about Ja-Potter,' I correct myself hastily. She's asked us all not to say his name around her.
'What else about Matthew?'
'He has some good hair,' I say.
She makes an appreciative noise. 'He does have some pretty good hair,' she agrees.
'But I'm pretty sure he uses all sorts of charms on it to make it that soft and bouncy,' I say.
'Amy.'
'What?
She cuts me a teasing look. 'You're taking my job.'
I laugh. 'Sorry.'
'Do you feel better now?' she asks.
'I feel…clearer,' I say.
'So…can we sit up now?'
I laugh. 'Of course, Lily.'
We sit up slowly. Lily puts her head between her knees. 'The things I do for you,' she sighs.
'I hug her bent back. 'I love you Lily.'
'I know.'
I wait.
'I guess I love you too,' she smirks. 'So,' she looks at me expectantly from between her legs.
'What?'
'Who ya gonna choose?'
'Choose? I didn't know I had to choose,' I frown. She gives me an upside-down look. 'Hey, so I haven't got to that part yet. Maybe I should just become a lesbian,' I say thoughtfully.
'Then you could join my club,' she says enthusiastically.
'You have a club?'
'Oh yes. We meet every Friday night,' she tells me, sitting up slowly.
'Who's in it?'
'Me and Nora.'
'I see. You and your teddy bear,' I grin.
'But if you joined, it would be me, my teddy bear, and you,' she points out.
'Sounds tempting,' I laugh. 'But I may have to pass on that.'
'You don't know what you're missing.'
!
'Isn't it kind of chilly to be sitting here by yourself?' Sirius asks as he reaches my spot at the base of the big oak tree. From here, I have a perfect view of the castle and the lake. 'Especially when you have a boyfriend whose purpose is to keep warn,' he adds with a cheeky grin. He flops down next to me.
'I've missed you,' I blurt out. I hide my face in my hands.
He laughs. 'I'm right here,' he points out.
'Yes, but it's been so weird. And I don't understand anything,' I say sulkily. Pouring my problems out to Sirius has always seemed so easy. Now I feel like I'm being weak.
'I know why it's been weird,' he says darkly. 'It's Jones. He's trying to move in on you. He's trying to break us up. But I'm not going to let him. Are you?' he demands.
I mumble something incoherent. I don't even know what I said. His fingers prise my hands away from my face and he looks me in the eyes.
'Are you going to let him ruin everything?' he asks quietly, intently.
'I don't want to. But I just don't know anything,' I say wretchedly.
'Not true. You know how to speak Irish, how to converse with Remus, you even know how to perform that spell where sparks come out of your wand when I still haven't mastered it. You know how you feel, so just tell me,' he finishes.
I sniff hugely. 'I like you.'
'But you like him too, right?'
I meet his gaze then and see his eyes, knowing. I become aware of the heat coming from his body, and it makes me shiver and yearn to be near him. I reach out and wrap my arms around his shoulders, holding myself to him.
'I like you more,' I whisper in his ear.
'Tell him that,' he whispers back, pulling my arms from around his neck and turning me around gently. Matthew is walking down the path towards us slowly, his shoulders slouched and hands shoved in his pocket. He's not alone. Flanking him are Mulciber and Snape. I feel Sirius tense and my teeth go on edge. How I loathe them.
'What's up Black?' Matthew stands over us, the other two behind him.
'Just sitting with my girlfriend. How about you?' Sirius asks. I know the pleasantry in his voice is forced.
'Came to talk to Amy, so you and your imaginary girlfriend can leave, if you don't mind,' Matthew smiles.
'I'm going to kindly forget your smart little instruction and go in for dinner with Mr. Mulciber and Mr. Snape. If I'm lucky, maybe on of them will 'fall in' to the lake.'
He gets up and after a meaningful look at the two death eater wannabes, the three of them strolled away, Sirius behind the other two, watching them the whole time.
'Well now that he's gone,' Matthew smiles brilliantly at me. 'Do you mind of I sit down?'
'Yes, I do mind,' I say coldly. 'I don't want a death eater to be anywhere near me.'
Matthew chuckles and sits anyway. He slings an arm over my shoulders lazily. 'I'm not a death eater Amy. Please,' he scoffs. 'You think You-Know-Who would let a half-blood like me join the ranks? Psh.'
'Don't sound like you want to,' I say quietly.
'Doesn't sound so awful to me. Power, respect, your talent being recognised- Aw, Amy, don't look at me like that, I'm just trying to wind you up,' he says.
'Well don't,' I snap. 'I've had enough of you being an idiot.'
'Love makes people into idiots,' he says quietly.
'You don't love me!'
'How do you know?' he demands indignantly. 'I very well could!'
'No you couldn't, so stop. You know you don't,' I say angrily.
'I don't know any such thing. And what about you? There's a lot you don't know,' he says, an edge to his words.
'Like what?' I ask carefully.
'Like what Black's doing every second night with Hazel Jerks!'
'What?' I whisper.
'Every second night, he meets her in an abandoned classroom. They do be a couple hours in there sometimes,' Matthew says fiercely.
'I don't believe you,' I say.
'Why?'
'Because you're just trying to ruin everything!' I shout at him. 'You don't like Sirius and so you're trying to beat him. If he gets Exceeds Expectations in History, you have to get Outstanding. He's on the Quidditch team. You have to be captain. He's going out with me. You have to make sure you do better than him. Well, you can just stop it right now, you horrible prick!'
I get up and grab my schoolbag, then hurry up the path to the school, rubbing my eyes to prevent tears. He runs after me and catches my arm, spinning me around to look at him.
'Follow him tonight then. At half nine,' he says, his eyes bright with his own anger.
'I will! And you know what? You can come too, so I can give you a good wallop when you're wrong!' I say angrily. I snatch my arm back and turn my back to him.
'Where will we meet then, Amy love?' he calls mockingly.
'Fuck off,' I say. I don't know if he can hear me or not. Hope he does.
'I'll just leave it to faith then!' he calls.
!
'Amy, I don't think you should go,' Lily says, biting her lip.
'Believe me, Lillian, I am cursing my temper right now,' I say gravely as I stick my wand into my robes pocket. 'I really don't want to go.'
'Then don't,' she says hopefully.
'Lily, I have to. Otherwise, what he said will gnaw away at me and drive me mental,' I tell her.
'Amy, he crossed the line. He was bang out of order; we both know that, so let's not give him the satisfaction of thinking you believe or care about what he said,' she says eagerly.
'That sounds like a brilliant idea, Lils. If all this turns into the biggest pile of dragon dung ever, I give you permission now to throw it back in my face,' I tell her as I open the door. Before I close it behind me, I hear her say, 'I really hope it doesn't.'
!
'You look lovely in the torchlight.'
'Shut up,' I snarl at Matthew as I reach him.
'If that's what you'd prefer.' He mimes zipping his lips closed. 'We can walk in silence.' He starts down the dimly lit corridor, and after a moment's hesitation, I follow. Matthew wouldn't hurt me, but just in case…I tighten my hand around my wand in my pocket. He turns a corner, into a passageway with no light at all.
'Lumos maxima,' I whisper.
'Don't be stupid. Turn down the light, or Filch will catch us,' Matthew hisses. I stick my tongue out at his back, but dim my wand tip all the same.
'How much further?' I ask in a hushed whisper.
'Just a little bit. We have to go down stairs. Watch your step, they're worn down,' he warns.
I follow him down the old stone stairs, they must lead to the dungeons, because it's wet and slimy and indeed very worn down. I step down the next stair, only to find that it's missing, and I nearly fall through. I gasp as my foot goes through the air. With a sigh, Matthew grabs me by the waist and lifts me down the last couple of steps.
'The step was missing,' I say sheepishly once he sets me down.
'Yeah, they tend to do that, trick stairs.'
'It could've happened to anyone,' I say.
'Of course it could have.' Through the darkness, I think I see him grin, and maybe even roll his eyes.
'Let's go then,' I huff.
'It's tight here,' he says, pointing to a heavy wooden door.
'What do we do?'
'There's a door further down that leads to the back of the classroom, I usually go in through there,' he says, gesturing for me to follow him.
'You spy on him a lot, do you?'
He turns to look at me, hand resting on the second door's knob. Finally he bends down so his face is level with mine and says, after a dramatic pause, 'Shh!'
I roll my eyes and am about to tell him just where he can shove his 'Shh' when he eases the door open and slips in. I follow him carefully. The back of the classroom is full of desks, a pile of which we duck behind. I can see two figures near the front, in front of the blackboard. The room is very lowly lit, but I can easily recognise Sirius and after a bit of squinting, I can confirm that the fake blonde Hazel Jerks is standing in front of me.
'So, are you still seeing that fifth year girl?' she purrs.
'No, she wasn't really the one for me,' Sirius says in a strange voice.
'What was wrong with her?'
'She was too focused on herself.'
My mouth drops open. I can feel Matthew's triumphant gaze.
Hazel goes on. 'That's awful. Well, maybe you and I can go into Hogsmeade sometime, or something,' she says with a little smile.
Sirius seems to relax. 'Really good,' he says enthusiastically.
'I have an excellent teacher,' she shrugs.
Sirius laughs.
What the hell? Is she trying to seduce him or something? Is his pet name 'teacher'? What the hell?
'Watch,' Matthew whispers in my ear, his breath warm.
'Do you think we should practise anything else?' she says lowly, so that I have to strain to hear her.
'What else is there?' he asks.
'The kiss,' she says, in a voice I imagine she thinks sounds sexy.
He snorts. 'I don't think we need to practise that.'
'I don't want to mess it up,' she says stubbornly.
'You have plenty of experience to put behind it already, I think,' he says, backing away. He keeps stumbling back until his back hits the wall.
'I don't want to mess it up,' she repeats, and then she kisses him. And then I run to the door and flee.
Yes, I really do flee.
I run blindly down the passage, to the stairs that leads up out of the dungeons. When I get to them, someone catches my hand and forces me to stop running. It's Matthew.
'Amy, don't cry,' he whispers, eyes wide. I reach up and brush away the traitor tears. 'Please don't.'
'This is what you wanted,' I sob. 'So don't pretend to be sympathetic.'
'I didn't-no- I just-'
'Amy! Wait!' Sirius comes running down the hall. 'I can explain,' he pants when he reaches us.
'Leave her alone,' Matthew growls.
'You leave her alone!'
'No, you-'
'Both of you just fuck off!' I shout, before running clumsily up the stairs. I take them two at a time, by some miracle not getting caught by a trick step. I run until I reach the portrait hole. Then I run to my dorm, where all the girls stop laughing and chatting when I fling the door open.
I can imagine how I look, tears running from my eyes and sobbing. I stumble over to Lily's bed. She jumps up and pulls the curtains around the bed, and then she holds me and strokes my hair and yells at the other girls to get Tessie.
'I hate him! I hate him!' I wail as the two of them rock me back and forth and wipe at my tears.
'Which one?' Lily asks hesitatingly.
'BOTH OF THEM!'
A pretty big chapter. I was really disappointed with the last chapter. Only 1 review! The person knows who they are, and that i love them :) Please review this everyone that reads! I wrote 3743 characters. You can write a couple of words I'm sure :)
xxxBlue xxx
