I woke up in the morning with Cas laying across my chest, my mouth buried in his hair as though I'd been kissing it as I fell asleep, my arms around him. He said the other day he wanted to wake up together, didn't he? I couldn't tell if he was already awake. I started stroking his bicep with a thumb, kissing into his hair, since I was there already.

It's starting to dawn on me that I have a lot of time with just Cas coming up. I think I get why he was abstaining last night but for real, I just want to indulge. It's not enough that we're skin-to-skin right now. I want to feel him, tight and hot around me. I don't know how he'd react to morning sex, after he was so adamant last night about not fucking me. It really didn't help that stupid, vulnerable mood I was in. I'm on a mission today, to get him to have sex with me, somehow.

'Good morning, Dean,' he eventually mumbled, still sounding half-asleep.

'Morning, Cas.'

'Are you feeling better this morning?'

'I'm good. Not as great as I could be, since my boyfriend wouldn't do me last night.' I couldn't help the dig. He raised his head, and I moved my own out of the way quickly. He was giving me the stink eye.

'I'm deciding to take it, from your crass analysis, that you're more willing to let me top?'

He's like a dog with a fucking bone.

'You know what I mean.'

He smirked.

'Would you like some coffee?'

I want to know what his damn game is. Is he holding out until I bottom? Does he think I'm holding out of doing it?

'I'd like something hot and rich in me.' I winked at him. I saw the small moment he allowed his confusion to show on his face, but then he was back on it. Game on, angel boy.

'I'm temperate and have little money, so you can't be referring to me, even if you were pretending to consider it.' He sat up and stretched, then rubbed my chest with a knuckle. 'I'll go and make us a coffee. You stay here.'

'Actually, I think I'm going to grab a shower.'

'Fine. I'll have a great image in my mind while I make your coffee.' He smirked again before leaving the bed, going over to the clothes we left in a pile on the floor and pulling his boxers back on. I gotta admit, I liked watching him. He didn't look back as he left the room, and I heard his feet shuffling down the stairs before I finally forced myself out of the bed, and into our room's en suite.

We barely looked around the place yesterday, and after walking in to the huge bathroom, I feel a little guilty about that. There's a lot of needless douche-y junk that I'll be using anyway about, like a corner bath with whirlpool jets in it. And a double-deep shower lined with fake granite that I am definitely going to bang Cas in. I stepped into it and turned it on, setting it to warm and closing my eyes against the water pressure. Its like the thing's massaging me. I used the shampoo and shower gel that were in there, and debated knocking one out. I have a morning situation, and Cas is probably going to continue to be a dick tease for a little while … I chose yes, picturing not his face or him exactly as I jerked off. More parts of him. Those cracked lips. The angle of his jawline as it met his ear from my perspective when I kiss his neck. The hint of hair on his chest, the way his skin wrinkles slightly around his pelvis, but just feels soft, like velvet … I braced myself against the wall, the water pounding against my side, and blew all over that over-priced shower. And then I washed myself off again, and turned it off, wrapping a towel around my waist and heading down to the kitchen myself. Cas was only just pouring it into cups.

'Did you forget how to make it?' I greeted him. He looked up, completely unfazed by my sudden appearance.

'No. Becky showed me how, remember?' He smiled, and then seemed to correct himself. 'It is okay to talk about Becky, isn't it?'

He has got to stop babying me.

'Why would it not be okay to talk about Becky?'

He stopped pouring the coffee.

'Dean, please don't bury your emotions about this. I know you and Sam are fiercely codependent and for you this feels like he's leaving the nest. You can discuss this with me.'

I picked up the closest mug to me, and took a hit of the coffee. I need it.

'I'm not burying a thing. Sam and me are completely separate to what I think about Becky. She's just, you know, his girlfriend.'

He added milk to his coffee, and about a thousand sugars.

'You're going to be bouncing off the walls with that,' I told him. He looked at me and took a huge mouthful.

'It'll be fine, Dean.'

'Uh-huh.'

'Do you want to talk about it? About Sam moving out?' He pressed on. I stepped towards him, slipping my arm around his waist, pulling him closer to me.

'Nope. I want this week to be about us. We'll worry about my brother when we're back home, okay?' I rubbed my nose against his. 'Come on, I'm meant to be making you scream louder than ever. Wasn't that what we agreed on the way here?'

'Dean-'

'Cas, please. I don't want to spend the entire time we're away repeating the same old conversation, knowing that Sam's made his mind up. I want this to be about us,' I repeated. 'Don't you want that? To find out what we're meant to be like together when you don't reset my memory every night?'

'I never did it once we got to Becky's house.'

'Not my point, Cas.' I kissed him quickly. 'My point is, we should be easy, this should be easy. But you're always trying to overcomplicate it. Let things just happen.'

'You're the one trying to force sex here.'

'Well, stop being so goddamn good looking and there won't be a problem with that.'

He smirked, and finally took some initiative, kissing me back, leaning into me. I love the feel of his skin against mine. If this happens every day of the rest of my life, I'd be so damn lucky. But he ended it way too quickly.

'I don't want to spill the coffee,' he muttered, and took another swig, I sipped my own cup, stroking my fingers along his back, and looking around at the cabin properly. The sunlight was streaming in through the floor-to-ceiling windows and out on the deck … is that a hot tub?

I let go of him, heading outside, determined to investigate. I put my coffee down on the little table and headed over to the tub, pulling off the cover.

'It's beautiful out here,' Cas said behind me. 'Don't you think so?'

'Mmmmmm, sure. Wanna try out the hot tub?' I turned and grinned at him. He sighed, and shook his head.

'You're incorrigible.'

'I don't hear you encouraging me,' I quipped. He sighed, and I turned on the jets, then let me towel drop and climbed in. Oh, man, so worth it. I leaned back and closed my eyes, letting the jets do their work, feeling myself start to float in the jets, and feeling myself start to relax. And then I felt his fingers sliding around my jawline, tracing my face gently, and he kissed my forehead. I opened my eyes. 'Hey.'

'Hello, Dean.'

'You know, I bet the view of the lake looks even better from in here.'

'I suppose it might,' his hands skimmed down my throat, and onto my chest. 'The view of you would change, however.'

'Are you perving on me?' I laughed. He kissed the tip of my nose.

'You seem determined to make me.'

'Honestly, as soon as I saw the hot tub, All I could think was getting in the hot tub. You should get in the hot tub.'

'If I get in, will you stop saying hot tub?'

'I promise nothing.' I caught one of his hands up in mine, playing with his fingers. 'Are you getting in?'

He sighed again, but he was smiling. And then he reached over and kissed me properly, an upside-down kiss like in Spiderman. I reached a hand up, rubbing the back of his neck, trying to tug him in already. He pulled away, laughing, still stroking my chest.

'Fine, I concede. You're insatiable.' And then he kissed me again, and I felt him pull me along, over the rim of the tub, and I realised he was pulling his underwear off again. It really didn't take much to convince him to get naked with me again, did it? I broke off the kiss and turned around, sinking into the water as he tried to hoist himself in. 'Dean, would you please help me?'

'Sure,' I kneeled onto the submerged bench, and reached under his arms for some leverage. He scrambled up, and I tugged him hard, knowing we were going to end up completely under the water. As I went backwards, and he started falling on top of me, his eyes widened out and his mouth fell open, and I started laughing just as we hit the water. I got a mouthful of the stuff, just as his body slammed against mine. He pulled me upright, so we were both standing waist-high in the hot water, and waited for me to finish coughing.

'That wasn't the most graceful entry.'

'That's what she said.'

'Who?'

'I … never mind. Hi.' I slid my arms back around him, kissing him properly. 'Welcome to the hot tub.'

'It's pleasant,' he decided. And then he splashed me. I tightened my hold on him.

'Hold your breath.'

'Why?'

'Just do it. Trust me.'

He squinted at me for a moment, before he pulled in a deep breath. I did the same, then pushed my mouth against his, grabbing his shoulders and yanking him down until we were both under the water, making out. My lungs were burning and he was clinging to me tightly, and we surfaced before I was ready. He stopped kissing me long enough to suck some more air in, and then he was all over me again. I was all over him too, loving the way his skin felt against mine in the water. I missed us being like this, completely absorbed in each other. I started shifting him from the middle of the tub back onto one of the benches, sitting him down and climbing on top of him, straddling him. He pulled me tight against him, his hands slipping down to my butt. My hands were still on his shoulders, pinning him in place.

I'm so glad he changed his mind, or realised that I was being honest with him. I knew he'd want this just as much as I did.

'I think I like the hot tub,' he whispered, and squeezed my butt harder.

'How much do you like the hot tub?'

'Enough to cave.'

I knew I was going to win. I grinned at him, and he took a hand off my butt to splash me. I pulled closer, kissing him again, pressing closer up against him, moving my hands so that one was holding him by the scruff of the neck and the other was grabbing at his chest, and his were back on my butt. Things are progressing pretty quickly, all things considered, and I had to make a decision. I don't think its even dawned on him that we're in the wrong position for me to bury myself into him. So either I move and we start all over again or I make the effort and try to let him top like he wants. I trailed my hand down his chest, along his stomach, and then I reached for him. He moaned into my mouth. Yeah, that pretty much decides it.

'Cas?' I muttered against his lips. 'Cas, I trust you.'

He smiled against my mouth, and carried on the way we were. Which is great and all, but isn't he getting what I'm saying? I pulled away, and looked him in the eye.

'I trust you, Cas,' I said slowly, looking at him seriously, my fingers toying with him. I shifted on him a little, getting closer, making it easier for him to get inside me, and then I kissed him again, more forcefully, using my hold on his neck to make sure our lips were pressed together as I reared up, lining himself up with me. And then it felt like he got it, like he wanted to say something, but I was not letting go at that point. Talking would ruin my resolve.

I eased myself onto him as his fingers kneaded my ass, and I felt his groan ripple through my body as I slid down. I fought off my own moans, concentrating on giving Cas this. He started thrusting up into me, slowly getting the idea, and I couldn't concentrate to kiss him any more. I pressed our foreheads together as I worked with him, my breath coming out in shaking gasps, and he actually fucking growled as we picked up speed. The water was sloshing everywhere, slapping over the top of the hot tub, and I just concentrated on Cas. On the tip of his nose and those amazing lips of his, which were all I could see.

It wasn't so bad, letting him in like this. It wasn't as traumatic as I had expected. And halfway through he grabbed hold of me, working me in time with our movements. I blew just after he did, and then he held me in the warm water, his arms tight around my body, our foreheads still pressed together, his dick still inside me. He seemed to be waiting for me to speak, but there was only one thing that came to mind.

'Cleaning this thing out is going to be a pain in the ass. I creamed in the water.'

'Dean, sometimes I struggle to know what you mean with your colloquialisms.'

'My man juice?'

'Your semen?'

'Well, if you want to get all technical about it.' I grinned, and kissed him, then climbed off of him, heading out the tub.

'So that's it? No more hot tub?' He asked.

'Not for now.' I reached down and grabbed his underwear, and my towel, and then I casually headed back into the cabin, wrapping the towel around me. I just reached the sliding door when he whined behind me.

'Dean! Give me my underwear back!'

I looked over my shoulder and grinned at him.

'Come get it.'

He frowned at me for a moment, and then scrabbled to get out of the tub, slipping slightly on the lining. I watched him, biting back a smile, and then realised too late how quickly he could move when wet. I ran into the house, him hot on my heels. He tackled me on the sofa, tickling me as he sought out his underwear. I was laughing hard, fighting him off, twisting underneath him so I could see him. But he seemed to give up on getting his underwear back, climbing off me and heading over to our bag. He unzipped it and rifled through the clothes quickly.

'Cas?'

'Keep them. I have more.'

'Don't get dressed. No one's going to see you but me.'

He looked around at me, and tossed me some clothes.

'We're not animals. Humans wear clothes. So put them on.'

I shrugged my shirt on, and the boxers he'd thrown me, just to appease him.

'You are the worst at romantic weeks away,' I grumbled. He launched himself at me from across the room, wrestling me on the couch.

'What was that?' He smirked, grabbing hold of my wrists and pinning them over my head, both of us breathing heavily.

'I brought the handcuffs,' I gasped out. He raised his eyebrows.

'That's not what you said.' He moved his face closer to mine, his mouth just out of reach. He's doing it on purpose, teasing me like this. 'I believe you said I was the worst at romantic weeks away? Purely because I want to wear clothes?'

'They look so much better off.'

He leaned closer, about to kiss me, and then he pulled away at the last minute. Why is he such a dick tease?

'I thought humans liked the suspense that came with unwrapping their presents?'

'We're also very into instant gratification.'

'Don't I know that, with you.' He shook his head. 'Hey, Dean?'

'Mmmmmm?'

'Okay, I did have one question, now I have two.' He started tracing a finger on my chest, near my collarbone.

'Shoot.'

'Why did you let me top in the hot tub? I mean, I'm very grateful that you did, but I know it reminds you of some unsavoury memories. You are okay, aren't you?'

I nodded.

'It wasn't so bad, you know. I guess because it was you, and it wasn't in a bed.'

'But it probably won't be a regular thing?'

I shrugged.

'Let's just see how it goes.'

He let go of my hands, shuffling around on the sofa to get more comfortable, and I moved my arms down, holding him closer.

'And by that, Cas, I mean, it might not happen tomorrow. It might be okay for the whole week. We might swap about. I just don't know.'

'I understand, Dean. This time around.'

He tucked his head under my chin, and I held him close for a few seconds, enjoying the peace between us. I feel like we earned it.

'Was that both your questions?'

'No. What does that noise mean?'

'What noise?'

He kissed my collarbone, and I guessed he was playing for time. I had no idea what he meant.

'That noise you make. That 'mmmmm' sound. I assume it's a positive noise, but I have no idea what you mean by it.'

'I don't know.' I didn't think I made confusing noises. 'Tell me when I'm doing it and I'll try and explain it.'

'Well, okay. I said your name because I wanted to ask about you letting me top and you did it then.'

'Maybe I just love the way you say my name.' I grinned at the ceiling. He sighed.

'You're a terrible flirt, Dean.'

'I'm an awesome flirt.'

'As long as it's just me you're flirting with.'

I tightened my hold on him, and started mussing up his hair as I ran my fingers through it.

'So, we're good, right?' I asked him.

'We're very good,' he agreed, burying his head in my chest. 'How are you dealing with Sam moving out?'

'It sucks,' I acknowledged. 'But I get it. We'll have more time to be like this, whenever we want. And it's not like he's decided not to be my partner. We'll still be working together.'

'And working with me.'

He sounds so hopeful.

'Not happening.'

'Dean-'

'Cas, I just spent three weeks worrying about you, watching you and not knowing if you were ever gonna wake up. I just talked some angels out of killing you. If you think I'm ever going to do anything except keep you safe from now on …' I didn't know how to finish the sentence properly. 'It's not happening. And I like the idea of coming home to you. Of having someone to come home to.'

'I like that too, Dean. But I'm not going to sit in the bunker, unable to see daylight, worrying about whether or not you're safe.'

'Okay, compromise. You can come along. Stay in the hotel room, help us with research. Be our phone guy - Sam'll call you so we stay professional - and then at least we're not half a country away from each other.'

He took ages to answer, and I knew he really wanted to sit there and argue his case some more. I mean, he gets why I'm trying to keep him safe, right? He's an ex-angel and a total beacon for other angels, and demons. No one's taking him from me.

'That sounds fair. Can we compromise further and agree not to discuss hunting for the rest of the week?'

'Sounds good. So long as we get a lot more of this.'

He laughed.

'You know, this is all I ever wanted with you. This intimacy, this understanding.'

'I know. I'm glad you asked for it. Eventually.'

He sat up a little, looking into my eyes and smiling big.

'I'm glad too, Dean.'

And then he leaned down and kissed me, stroking my face gently. And even though I hate when Cas says it … it felt pretty perfect. Just me and my man, making out and talking with no concept of time passing. I get why people look for this. I know I'm damn lucky to have found it, and with my best friend.