Soul of a Dragon Chapter 29

"speaking"- human language

"speaking"- dragonese

thinking- human thoughts

thinking- dragon thoughts

I do not own How To Train Your Dragon or any of its characters

Loneliness.

That was a word that the Night Fury was all too familiar with. After all he had felt this way when his parents disappeared from his nest after their deaths, he could feel that the warmth that used to hold him was gone. Even in his egg he could feel this and for a while he was alone. Even after hatching from his egg he was still alone; he was the last of his kind. At least from a pure breed lineage of Night Furies. Any hatchlings he would have in the future would most likely be half breeds. He thought he would have been alone forever but that was when he learned that he had a new father and then a new brother. He gained both in one day. For a long time they were happy… or at least he thought they were. He always knew Hiccup was different from the other dragons but it never bothered him. He loved Hiccup as both a brother and a friend, to him it didn't matter what Hiccup was. Little did he know that Hiccup's true origins would be the cause of the rift that could form between them.

After all Hiccup didn't have scales, fangs, claws or a tail like the dragons. He didn't walk on all fours and he didn't have wings. Instead he had soft and fragile skin with hair that grew out of his head; his teeth were dull as were his nails and he walked on two legs while using his other limbs for other activities. Overall, Hiccup wasn't like a dragon because he wasn't a dragon. Hiccup was a human. He found that out at the young age of six.

Toothless would never forget the look of shock, sadness and terror on Hiccup's face once he found out he was human. He knew that Hiccup probably questioned everything. He probably wondered if the dragons really cared about him and that if they mean to hurt him by taking him away from his true home. That wasn't the case, he knew it wasn't. He knew that their father saved Hiccup from that burning house and he knew that his father brought him to the Dragon Sanctuary because he knew that Hiccup had a gift. A gift that allowed him to understand and speak dragonese, the language of the dragons. However, another part of that gift was that he could speak and understand a human's language as well. It was truly an amazing gift.

Honestly, thinking about it now Toothless wondered if Hiccup ever felt alone. Before he found out his human origins he knew that human felt isolated since he wasn't like the dragons but they always made him feel welcome. They treated him as if he really was a dragon. But that didn't mean that Hiccup couldn't feel alone. Then after finding out the truth he probably felt alone because he was the only human with a gift such as his, he was more aware of his status amongst the dragons. But now it seemed like his loneliness was more apparent. Even with someone around you someone could still feel alone, Toothless knew that.

They had their friends, their father, their aunt and their home… but Hiccup was still lonely. He shouldn't have been because he was home… but it wasn't his only home. Berk was coming back to haunt them and all because of that Drago Bludvist. He hated the man even more for making Hiccup go against his own people. Despite being raised by dragons Hiccup was still human and therefore he still had a connection to Berk.

However, Hiccup wasn't the only one who felt alone now. Toothless was beginning to feel that way again. He missed his brother and he missed the way things used to be. He wished they could go back to when times were simpler and the only thing they had to worry about was avoiding getting caught by humans when they would take things from them. They shared many wonderful memories of times like these. He missed it all and his heart ached whenever he saw the look Hiccup held in his eyes these days. He had been giving Hiccup his space lately simply because he knew that's what Hiccup needed at the moment. He knew he couldn't force Hiccup into doing anything but he found that somewhat hypocritical of him. Loneliness wasn't the only thing he was feeling lately.

Guilt.

That was another word he was familiar with as well. He had been feeling it ever since Hiccup decided to stay with the dragons. He never showed it as often as now but with the way things were lately it was easy to understand why. He was happy that his brother was staying with him and their father but he knew that it came with a heavy price. Hiccup had the choice to go back home but he decided to stay just so he could be with the family the Vikings hated. The family that his own people hated. He gave up knowing his real parents, his real home and his real identity just to be with them. He gave it all away. Being a child it probably didn't hit Hiccup as hard as it should have but now that he was a teenager reaching adulthood it was now starting to hit him… and hitting him hard. And as that was going on Toothless was beginning to feel even more guilty for taking his brother away from his home, for making him stay here just because he didn't want to let go.

"Oh Hiccup I'm so sorry," Toothless whispered. "Please forgive me for my selfishness."

Toothless cried a little as he recalled all the good times he shared with his brother and he cried for the pain he caused that same brother. He wondered if Hiccup would have been better off going back to Berk and living amongst the humans as a Viking. He wondered if it would have been easier on Hiccup if he was his enemy rather than his brother. It wouldn't be easy for him but if it was for Hiccup then he would accept it. At this point whatever made Hiccup happy would make him happy. If Hiccup wanted to leave then he wouldn't stop him. He would do whatever Hiccup wanted as long as he knew he did it because he was his friend and his brother. No matter what he would always be his brother even if they were enemies. He loved Hiccup that much. He knew that Cloudjumper felt the same way; it didn't take a genius to figure that out.

"I wonder if Dad wants Hiccup to go back to Berk at this point," Toothless commented.

He didn't want the answer to that question; he knew that he couldn't handle it. For being a Night Fury he was weak. He was so weak that he couldn't keep his own family together and for hurting those he cared about. He couldn't believe that it had gotten to this point over the years. He hated Drago, he hated Eret, he hated Drago's men and he hated the Vikings.

I hate you! I hate you all! Why can't we just live in peace? Why? It's all your fault!

Toothless gasped as he realized what he thought, he couldn't believe he just thought that. He couldn't hate the Vikings, well at least not all of them. They were the ones who brought Hiccup in the world after all. Without them Hiccup wouldn't be here, he wouldn't have his brother if that was the case. And to think something like that meant that he hated Hiccup too. Hiccup was a Vikings as well even if he wasn't raised by them. He most certainly didn't hate his brother.

"What do I do?" Toothless asked. "What's the right answer? Is there even a right answer in this situation?"

The Night Fury sighed and rubbed his head against a cool rock of the Dragon Sanctuary. He liked how it felt against his scales especially when he was so stressed out right now. His sensitive hearing picked up that someone was coming from behind him. Toothless slowly turned his head to see that it was Stormfly. She had a sad look on her face as she walked towards the Night Fury. She wanted to see how the Night Fury was doing especially when Hiccup was not the way he used to be. She knew that her beloved aunt and uncle Clawdia and Cloudjumper were just as concerned as her. Every dragon at the sanctuary was worried about the brother duo.

"Hey Toothless," Stormfly greeted.

"Hey Stormfly," Toothless replied

"Are you okay?" the Deadly Nadder asked.

Toothless looked at her, his green eyes full of despair. He removed his head from the wall and turned away from her. He didn't want her to see him in this sort of state, he felt ashamed for having his beloved friend watch him make a fool out of himself. But nevertheless he answered her question truthfully.

"Honestly no," Toothless answered. "Nothing is okay anymore; it's not like how it used to be."

The Deadly Nadder gave her friend a sad smile as she approached him.

"I understand Toothless," Stormfly said. "Nothing stays the same, things change… so do people… and dragons."

"I know, but why can't it just stay the same for once?"

"Because you wouldn't grow as an individual if that was the case," Stormfly responded. "You wouldn't be able to learn things and experience new things as well."

Toothless listened to her comments, he knew that she was right but deep down he wished she wasn't. He wished some things didn't have to change.

"I suppose so," Toothless said. "But sometimes I wonder if change is really a good thing."

"It isn't always," Stormfly admitted. "But it's how you respond to that change that makes the difference… it's also what you take from that change as well."

"So I guess that it's a bad change for right now," Toothless stated.

Stormfly knew he was talking about his brother, the human named Hiccup. The same human who rescued her so long ago and the first human she trusted. Probably the only human she would ever trust honestly. She wished that wasn't true but with the way things were lately that would probably always be the case.

"Hiccup is changing," Stormfly said. "But maybe he's learning as well."

"What could he be learning? He isn't the same as he used to be, he's more serious and every time I look at him there's always a sense of sadness to him," Toothless stated. ""It's like he's beginning to hate living here and that he's beginning to question the choice he made when we were young. The choice to stay here."

"I don't think that's entirely true Toothless," the Deadly Nadder replied.

Toothless looked at her with a confused look, Stormfly took several more steps towards him and she wrapped a wing around him. Toothless felt his heart beat faster as he smelt her scent and as he felt the warmth of her wing around his scaly body.

"I think he's confused. All his life he lived amongst the dragons, learning about each and every one of them and calling them his friends and family. But now he's realized that the family he could have had is now his enemy. He's torn between the two, but not because he's mad but because he loves them both dearly," Stormfly explained. "Even though he's never actually been with humans or lived with them he can't help but feel a connection to them because he is a human himself. It's a fact that he could never ignore or forget about because he's a human living amongst the beings that are supposed to be his enemies. He's trying to figure out what's the best thing not only for him but for others around him. You know Hiccup, he's always puts others before himself."

Toothless couldn't deny that, it was something that was common knowledge here at the sanctuary. Hiccup always thought about others, that was the main reason why they started to rescue dragons while fighting against Drago and his men. It's also the reason why Hiccup stayed behind or at least he thought that played a role in influencing his decision.

"Yeah that's my brother alright," Toothless said. "Hiccup is too kind of a person when it comes to others. But now I'm afraid that it's because of me that he feels the way that he does. I didn't want him to leave even after finding out that he was a human, I wanted him to stay. He's my brother, that's something I can't just forget."

"And that's understandable Toothless; you shouldn't feel bad about caring about someone so much that you don't want them to leave. I'm like that too," Stormfly said. "As you know my parents were killed when I was still young, I didn't have anyone to rely on. No one to protect me, to keep me warm, to care about me, to love me. I had no one and when I was captured by those Vikings I thought that it was the end. Until you two came along and then suddenly found myself surrounded by my species of dragons along with other species of dragons and a human. I finally found the place that I could have all of those things that I thought I could never have anymore. Whenever I'm around the other Deadly Nadders I don't want them to leave because I'm afraid that I'll go back to the way I was before. Alone."

Toothless looked at her with wide eyes, Stormfly knew how he felt. She understood his fear of being alone, he couldn't believe it. Stormfly never acted like she ever felt like that.

So then she also knows how Hiccup is feeling right now as well. Oh Stormfly you really are a good friend.

"Being alone is such a scary thing," Stormfly said. "Honestly I rather be surrounded by Vikings than be alone. That may sound strange but it's true. I think I can handle any kind of pain that a Viking can inflict on me than going back to being alone again."

Stormfly's wing tightened its hold on Toothless; it was almost like Stormfly was afraid that Toothless would leave her any second. It was like she was trying to convince herself that he wasn't going anywhere, Toothless would never do that to her. She cared about her too much to do something like that.

"Everything is going to be okay Toothless," the Deadly Nadder stated. "Don't ask me how I know I just do. Everything is going to be fine because Hiccup will be fine. He's a strong boy; don't let his small size and stature fool you. He's always been a strong person and I know that he will find what he is looking for. He just needs some time to figure it out."

"Do you truly believe that?" Toothless questioned.

"I do and you should too, everything will be okay. You just need to remember that Hiccup loves you and he loves every dragon here, nothing can erase that… not even the Vikings themselves," Stormfly said.

Toothless felt like the burden on his shoulders had been lifted, his heart felt more at peace and his spirit was calm. Talking to someone really helped; maybe that was what Hiccup needed. Maybe he would find it in the most obvious place just like he did. Toothless leaned his head on Stormfly, the Deadly Nadder noticed this and she leaned her own head on Toothless. Her wing was still in place as Toothless wrapped his own wing around her. The two dragons took comfort in each other's company; they stayed like that for some time. They didn't want to let go but not because they were afraid of being alone but rather they didn't want this moment to end.

He hoped his brother would soon find the peace he needed in order to move one and decide what the next course of action was. One thing was for sure he would be there right beside him when he decided.

Next chapter… Hiccup talks to the most obvious source of guidance and wisdom!

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