The English Paper : A "Hobbit" FanFic.

*Disclaimer on all LOTR/Hobbit material belonging to Tolkien and movie lines from Peter Jackson*


XXIX - Pippa's Story

"Hey Kili?"

"Aye?"

"Good, you're awake! I can't sleep, can you?"

"I'm awake, aren't I?"

Pippa turned over to face Kili in the bed they shared. Their eyes stared at one another and there was a moment of silence between them. Sounds from outside mumbled into the quiet room.

"Is there by chance any particular reason you wanted me awake?" Kili asked with a laugh. Pippa went to open her mouth when she sighed," I...I don't know how to answer that." They laughed as Kili wrapped his arms around Pippa's bare body, pulling her close to his bare body.

"You know what I realized?" Kili asked as he stroked Pippa's arm.

"Shoot," Pippa replied.

"You seem to know my life story...yet I know nothing of yours." Pippa's smile faded a little and she bit her bottom lip. She didn't want to hold it back from Kili, but she didn't want to speak of it either. Her life story bored her and it also brought back grudges she had tried letting go of.

Well, this just got even more awkward, Pippa thought to herself.

"Perhaps it was too personal for me to bring it up," Kili then said. "If it's something you wish not to speak of then I-."

"Do you really want to know?" Pippa cut him off gently.

"In truth, aye. I want to know more of where you came from and what you lived through," Kili explained. "I also want to know why you were angry during the time in the Mirkwood forest and if something from your past has caused it."

Oh pretty boy, it's not something - it's a long list of events.

Pippa sighed and with a small smile, she said," If you fall asleep on me, I'm going to punish you. I'm already in enough pain in my lower region and probably can't walk tomorrow because of you."

Kili chuckled and began toying with her fingers. He replied with a nod and Pippa exhaled as she began her story.

"I was born May 31st, 1993 in a hospital, which is a place where people who are injured, sick, in pain, or whatever go to be treated. It's also where babies are popped out. Anyway, before I was born my parents actually split up three months prior. They had only been married for a year and they began not to see eye-to-eye on things and my mum felt like my dad neglected her when she needed him most. She went back to live with her parents, who weren't even the biggest fans of my dad in the first place. Around a month before I was born, my parents decided to get back together and my mum's parents cut off connections with my mum because she went back to my dad.

"About three years after I was born, my mom became ill and she died. I don't remember too much but I remember the casket being opened and when I went to touch her face it closed and I cried. I also remember the little gathering afterward and that my dad locked himself in his room and cried while his mum watched after me. My mum's grandparents went to the burial but that was it. They kept their distance and had no problems doing so.

"My dad had trouble being a father and a big-time lawyer so his parents stepped in and took over the cooking and caring for me. They planned my days for me but it was mostly when I ate and when I took naps. My grandparents taught me how to read and I began reading very well at four years old and because of it, I had the biggest imagination of any kid I knew. It was so big that a lot of the kids I went to nursery school with found me to be odd, so I didn't have a lot of friends.

"Around the time I was six years old, that's when I started being teased by my classmates. They told me I had elf ears and that I looked like a mutt. "Mutt-face" was my nickname I remember. No one would be my friend until I turned about 8 years old and I was crying in the girl's bathroom because a boy in my class made some rude comment about me. I don't remember what it was but I remember it made me upset, obviously. Well, this girl who happened to be in the class walked in and went in her uniform pocket and offered me a cookie. She told me she was sorry that I got teased and that she would be my friend. That's how my best friend, Nicole , and I met.

"Nicole and I alternated sleeping over at each other's houses on weekends, so we went through a lot of things. This one time, Nicole was at my house and my grandmother and grandfather were over. We were playing cards and my dad's girlfriend at the time came over and told us she would cook dinner. She was the biggest health freak in the world. You know how in Rivendale all they gave you was plants, no meat? She actually made roasted lettuce with some weird organic thing in it. It honestly, and I kid you not, tasted like dirt. My grandfather muttered every cuss word ever said and my grandmother had to spit it into her napkin. Nicole and I threw it to the ground and my grandparents had us all pretend we liked it and then they took us out to get fish and chips.

"About a year after incident when I was nine, I was at Nicole's house and her mother's little sister, Cecily, was watching us while Nicole's parents were out. We thought she was the greatest because not only was she an athletic polo player, but she had a great sense of fashion and the greatest sense of humor ever. She made us laugh for hours on end. The next morning, she was introduced to my dad and they began dating three months later. This February marks their tenth anniversary. They never married but Nicole and I have prayed for it because it would make Nicole and I literally family.

"My life seemed perfect from the times I was nine to twelve years old. It was when I turned thirteen that it went downhill. I was slightly pudgier than most of the girls in my classes and all the boys teased me for it. I had a friend...or someone who I thought was my friend, tease me for it too. She called me "weak" and "naive" and other names that got under my skin. I wanted to change but it was hard when "Pudge-Pudge" was your new name.

"As I turned fifteen, I tried to change. Nicole and I dropped that friend that teased me and Nicole and Cecily introduced into how to look like a lady. The improvements were small but it didn't stop the fact I didn't even want to exist anymore. I felt worthless and ashamed of who I was because no matter where I was, fitting in almost never worked. When I thought I met people who made me felt like I fit in, they walked right out of my life and carried on as if I never existed.

"Do you remember how I told you my mum's parents wanted nothing to do with my dad? Well one day, I had this idea to write a letter to them, asking if they would meet with me. I figured they might forgive me. Two weeks after I sent it, I got a response with the clear statement that they wanted nothing to do with me because of past events and that they practically disowned my mum when she went back to my dad. You'd think grandparents would be thrilled to meet a grandchild.

"It had gotten worse from there. It wasn't until I was seventeen when my dad and Cecily caught me...I can't talk about it. It's hard to. Needless to say, they sat down and talked with me. They had had no idea of everything I had felt and gone through with rejection at school and with my letter. It was then that Cecily and my dad decided I'd go talk to someone.

"I went to this woman and I poured everything I had felt and everything that hurt. I remember mentioning that I had imagined a different version of who I was and if only i could be that person. I had thought it sounded mad, but she asked me why not become that person and I decided that from then on, I'd change my entire world.

"The summer break before Year 13, which was my last year of regular school before university, I lost the last fifteen pounds that I had left over from a previous weight loss, I had Cecily teach me how to dress and Nicole how to put on makeup and do hair and my dad helped increase my archery skills. Archery, which I had played since I was little, was a struggle for me in the beginning, but as years progressed so did I. When I became stronger physically and mentally, my archery skills increased. Archery cleared my mind and it helped me cope.

"Year 13 went by and I don't remember much. I do remember Nicol and I drifiting apart from one another. I don't know how it started but we just didn't see eye to eye on things. People grow apart I suppose. Either way, college time came and I enrolled into Cambridge Universirty.

"At Uni, I made my own group of friends and went out a lot. People accepted me as 'the sarcastic, loud, funny girl' and I let it go. If it had me accepted somewhere, who I was to complain?

"Kili, do you know why I became angry and cold after those stories? Well, here's why. You all took in an outsider you found odd and made me feel like I was one of you. What made me bitter was that I was afraid I'd lose you all. I got so scared that I had let my fears come true. I was also afraid that you'd all...especially you...hate me and leave me if I were to be myself and tell you all that I'm not truly a strong girl. When they would tease me, it hurt, When Thorin and them ridiculed...er...criticized my battle skills, I felt embarrassed. I'm the strong, funny, snarky girl because that was the wall I had built to protect myself from being hurt and from being alone the rest of my life."

Kili's eyes fixated on Pippa's watering eyes. Her hands covered her face and Kili pulled her to his bare chest. His realization that the legends of dwarves reminded Pippa of a past she really did never grow from and had been taunted by. Like Thorin and the dwarves never forgave Smaug or the elves, Pippa never forgot her painful memories.

"Thank you," Kili mumbled gently as he stroked her back. Pippa looked up and Kili smiled.

"Everything you have told me has made me feel closer to you than ever, Pippa. I'm not going anywhere and neither are you by yourself. I love you no matter what you truly are - sensitive or strong. Promise me you'll never lie to me or feel like you have to act a certain way around me, aye?"

Pippa formed a smile and told him," I swear." Kili pecked her lips and continued holding her close to him as she drifted off into sleep finally.

As she slept, Kili went over what Pippa had said about her life. As he continued stroking her skin, he whispered before drifting to sleep himself," I promise I'm never going to leave you. It's going to take more than a dragon and a battle to do that."


Well, this was a slightly short chapter, but this was delayed because of exam prep ( LAST WEEK THIS WEEK! OW! WHOO!) and also because, I really wanted to figure out how I wanted to write Pippa's past and to make it to where why she can be annoying and why she can be certain things. I would like to add that none of the events in the story are real in my life with the exception of being teased, being pudgy and losing it, depression, finding out who you're true friends are, and often hiding yourself because you've never fit in. The rest is purely made up.

I hope you all like it! I love you all so much :3