Thank you all for you wonderful (and numerous!) reviews for the last chapter. I really appreciate them and they definitely helped me along with this new chapter. I hated to end things like that with Danny and Emily, but you know with the movie and all I kind of had to : (

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Two and half years passed.

I left New York only hours after the painful discovery I had made in the morning light and sought comfort back home in Shelby. Two weeks after my arrival a petition for divorce from the state of New York arrived in the mail and amid my mother's dismay and my father and Brett's anger I signed them quickly, agreeing to Danny's terms and sent them back. I wanted nothing from him except to be left alone. I then made the painful decision to leave Shelby altogether. It was the only home I had ever known, but I knew the news of the divorce would travel quickly throughout it and if Danny was going to coward away from the onslaught then so was I. I made the arrangements and took Aunt Edith up on the offer she had made to me long ago about coming to San Francisco. Every member of my family, Emma included tried to convince me to stay, but I couldn't, I needed a different setting, a place where no one knew me or the fact that I was divorced. I wanted a life that was completely my own. Andrew, poor guilty Andrew, tried his best to persuade me otherwise too. He felt terrible about what had happened between us and felt, even though I told him otherwise, that the divorce was his fault. I hadn't told Danny what had happened even though I had planned on it at some point, but now it didn't make sense and I told Andrew as much.

I had no idea how long I would be gone or if I would ever be back, but when I arrived in San Francisco in October and took one lung full of the fresh sea and mountain air I knew I had done the right thing. I felt an almost instant rejuvenation and simultaneously fell in love with the city. With Aunt Edith's help I began nursing school and soon after found an apartment of my own. To help with the bills I began waiting tables at an upscale nightclub that catered to the swing crowd. All the while though Danny was never far from my mind. At first the thought of him plain angered me. I hated him from what he had done and the cowardice way in which he had done it, but as my life in California began to solidify the anger faded and was replaced by a plain gaping ache within me. I didn't see anyone either a fact that my coworkers, particularly my fellow waitresses, Nancy and Carol used to tease me endlessly with.

In late January of '41 a letter arrived from Rafe. He and I hadn't done much talking since the divorce and though we were siblings, I never faulted him much for that. His position was certainly an awkward one and I had no desire to make it worse.

I had grabbed the mail from my mailbox after getting off work early Sunday morning. I had stayed at the club until midnight helping Frank the barman wipe down the tables and see off the band that had played and was still wore my short black dress uniform under my heavy coat as I stepped inside my tidy little apartment. I shed the coat while glancing through the magazines and letters, one of which was from Susan and the other bearing Rafe's familiar scrawl. I sat down on my sofa and opened it.

Emily,

Hi Sis. I know it's been awhile, but Ma said if I didn't drop you a line she'd have my hide and knowing our mother, I took the threat to heart. I hope things are going well for you. Ma has kept me up to date, says you're in school and enjoying the California life. I'm glad to hear it. Despite everything that's happened, you are my sister and I want the best for you and of course for you to be happy. Anyway, the reason for the letter, I've gotten orders. With our training and whatnot finished we're all shipping off to new bases and me, well I've been asked to join the Eagle Squadron in England. That's right, they've deemed your big brother worthy enough to shoot down some Nazi's. No one else I know has been asked, so yeah, it's a pretty big honor.

I'll tell you the same thing I told Ma and Dad, say your prayers, but don't worry about me. I'm tough and it won't be easy to take me down. With you for a sister and Brett for a brother, I've taken my fair share of beatings over the years and those damn Germans have no idea what's coming for them.

The orders were a bit last minute and I'm actually rushing to get this letter written and posted before I leave tomorrow morning. Yes, tomorrow morning. By the time you get this I should have already arrived in England, ready for one of those great pints I hear so much about. I do love you, Sis. Write me if you'd like, even if it is to curse me out for being an ass.

Your Brother,

Rafe

PS…Do me a favor and tell Aunt Edith. She'll take it better coming from you. Oh and also tell Ma I did write. Apparently my word on the matter isn't enough for her.

I sat back, aghast at what I had just read.

England?

Did he not realize there was a war going on over there! Oh, damn it of course he did and that's exactly why he was going! Were we actually sending our boys over there now? Doesn't Europe have enough sons and brothers to do their own fighting? I almost picked up a pen and paper and began to write him my exact feelings on the matter but quickly thought against it and sat back down on the sofa again, clutching the letter in my hands.

My brother was fighting a war. He could be at that very moment.

Suddenly the war that had seemed so far away only hours before was very very close to home. Oh we all knew what was going on over there. Adolf Hitler's rise to power and drive to overtake Europe was something everyone was aware of, even here, thousands of miles away in California, but it wasn't happening on our soil, so why bother to worry about it?

"Oh Rafe…" I murmured with the sudden need to have him close. And Danny? Oh God! Quickly my eyes went back and scanned the letter for any word of him. "No one else I know has been asked…" I read and my heart clenched in half relief. I could help but wonder if Rafe had included that part strictly for my benefit. He didn't actually say Danny's name, but still…

The letter haunted me for weeks afterward. I moved through my daily motions in a complete fog, distracted by thoughts of my brother and whatever story about England and attacks that greeted me in the morning paper. A phone call to my mother in mid February didn't help either. It was hard enough to hear her over the long distance line, but adding in her tears made it even worse. When Dad took over the line he told me she had been like that since the word from Rafe. She had gone through a war before, they both had and it wasn't something they cared to relive especially with one of their children.

"Does he write at all?" my friend Nancy asked at work one night. It was a weeknight and we weren't busy. A handful of sailors and marines from the base had come in for drinks, but that didn't require much out of the two of us, so we lingered at the bar with Frank.

"To our mother." I told her, "But he doesn't say much about what's he's doing apparently."

"I guess he wouldn't would he?" she replied. Nancy was a pretty little thing with bright golden curls. She was a favorite among the men who came in and at twenty-four, she loved the attention. She was a good friend though and had become especially considerate after hearing about Rafe. "If it were me, I wouldn't give my mother all of the facts."

"The news reels are enough for me." Frank said, polishing off a beer for a lone sailor at the bar. He slid it down to the guy who drank up gratefully. He was probably my father's age and a veteran of the Great War. "Stuff like that," he pointed out, "Has no business in a mother's ears, or a sisters for that matter."

I gave him a small smile. "I wouldn't say we were ever especially close, but he is my brother. It makes me sick to think about it all."

"Honey, then don't." Nancy's hand came over mine. "We all have our own lives to lead and this is his. Support him and don't think the worst. No good will come of that."

"Listen to her, Em." Frank agreed, "At least he's in a plane and not on the ground."

Nancy nodded encouragingly but I was doubtful. Our chat was cut short though when the front doors opened a group of soldiers bearing air corps patches came in. The uniforms were grim reminders of Rafe and therefore Danny, but I quickly pushed the thoughts out of my head and offered to take their table. I grabbed a pad and pencil, straightened my white apron and walked over to their table with a smile plastered to my face.

"Hey boys." I greeted, "What can I get you tonight?"

"Emily?" the voice, familiar and surprised, caught me off guard and I quickly looked up towards it. It was Anthony, Anthony from New York. I would recognize those Italian features anywhere. "Hot damn it is you!"

"Oh my God…"

He rose from his seat and gave me a friendly hug, odd given the fact that I hadn't seen him in two years and only for an hour or so before that. When he pulled back I recognized another face in the booth, Red who he greeted me with a broken hello and a smile.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"Just stopping through." Anthony told me, "We've been transferred to Hawaii. This," he said to the rest of the group who I didn't recognize, "is McCawley's sister."

"You don't say!" one of them said surprised.

"What are the odds?" another came back.

"She's got better legs than he does for sure." Said another. I would have laughed out loud if it weren't for the question that was burning inside of me to ask.

"Is it all of you going?" I asked Anthony quietly.

He seemed to understand my meaning and gave gesture of his hand to the others as he put a hand on my shoulder and led me away from them. "Well some of them stayed back in the barracks tonight."

"He's here?" I felt my heart pound at the thought and my breath catch in my throat when he nodded. Danny was here. In San Francisco. Barely two miles away!

He nodded. "Yeah they sent most of the company. Except for Rafe that is."

I nodded absently, for once not thinking at all of my brother. I couldn't believe he was here…and so close. I looked over at Nancy, one of the two people in California who knew about my past, the other of course being Aunt Edith. A part of me felt like rushing over to her, ripping my apron off and announce my intentions to go to the base and find him, but another, the more rational and more powerful part said No. It remembered that feeling in the hotel room all those years ago very vividly. It remembered that after a night that felt like a reunion and a fresh start, he had abandoned me and ultimately destroyed our marriage.

I looked back at Anthony and took a deep tormented breath. "I should take your orders." I dismissed the discussion and went back to the booth, pencil and pad in hand once more. He and his group stayed for a few hours and though he eyed me strangely whenever I went back to refill their glasses, he didn't say anything to me until they were headed out the door.

"I can tell him. Tell him that you're here. " He said simply.

Having had most of the evening to dwell on the idea of that, I shook my head. "Don't."

"Are you sure?"

I looked away towards the stage and the small quartet on it playing I Dreamt I Dwelt in Harlem. I closed my eyes against the rising pain caused by the mixture of happy and painful memories of Daniel Walker. Our first kiss under the moonlight, the night he asked me to be his wife, the afternoon I told him I was carrying his child and then…her death…and the events that came after it. "No," I said, "I'm not, but it is better this way. I would rather be the one calling the shots this time."

He paused for a moment and then nodded. "I'll make sure Red doesn't say anything too."

I looked back to him. "I appreciate that."

He started away and then turned back, "I'm sorry, Emily."

"Thanks."

We gave one another a small smile before he backed away once more and rejoined his friends as they left the club. My heart sank when they disappeared from view. I knew what I had given up and my heart was breaking, but it wasn't something I wanted to fix. Not at that point at any rate. There was no time to dwell on the matter though. A couple entered the club then and headed for one of my tables. Again armed with pen and pad, I went to them and went about earning my pay for the night.