Returning Echoes
Disclaimer: I do not own, nor ever will, Fullmetal Alchemist or the characters within.
Chapter 29: "We're in this together."
"Do you think the Councillor looks good?"
Roy Mustang blinked as his mind went completely blank before he began to think of every possible reaction from burning the hall down to burning the Councillor down, from saying 'of course not' to 'yes he is' even though he didn't think so; it all went through his mind. From returning to the bathroom to let off steam, literally, to leaving the building and taking her with him. Everything he could do he thought about while he somehow kept moving and staring at her.
Edward wondered at the lengthening silence and his fixed stare. It had been a single question and he was reacting so strangely. He had smiled when he had first looked at her but that had disappeared as soon as she had finished speaking. She didn't understand this silence. He always answered her. With an insult, with a smirk, never with nothing. She watched as his face went blank and his eye didn't blink.
She didn't think the question was anything to send him off like this, so what was it? Was it something she had done? She had asked him a question. She had called him Roy. But that had been before the question. They were still dancing and that was still very nice, although his continuing silence was threatening that underlying warmth.
"Ok bastard, why are you going all Ice General on me?" Edward hissed in a low voice as he kept staring at her in silence.
"Your complete lack of understanding is not unexpected." The reply was low and strained. She blinked. He sounded as if he was going self-combust if he breathed too hard.
"Why else would I ask, moron? You start closing up for no apparent reason, of course I don't understand. I can't read your fucking mind." Edward snapped back, not liking this strange behaviour and not afraid to let him know that.
"And your timing is perfectly deplorable as well."
"Timing for what? This is the first chance I've had to talk to you all evening." Edward glared at him.
"I'm well aware of that fact and I was quite content to just dance without the need to start asking questions or any conversation for that matter."
"This is the only time I have to ask."
"There's always tomorrow." He stated firmly, struggling to keep himself in check.
"No. There is no way I'm going to discuss this anywhere near where Winry and Riza are." Edward was already sure they would corner her tomorrow and demand to know everything that happened tonight.
Roy's eyebrow went up at the emphatic tones. "What did you do to them?"
"I didn't do anything to Winry. Al did. But I'll get blamed for it somehow, and I only hung up on Riza."
"You hung up on Riza?" Roy shook his head. He was getting distracted. "No, don't explain. I don't think I want to know anyway."
"Me neither. But the thing is I don't have any other chance to talk about any of this and, dammit, it's your fault for being so easy to talk to, bastard, and there's no-one else I can talk to." Ed's frustration at his behaviour was evident in her eyes and voice.
"So, because of all that, you want to know if I think the Councillor looks good?" Roy asked, his voice straining again as he attempted to repeat the words without letting any of his inner turmoil out.
"Yes. I wouldn't have asked otherwise." Edward spoke matter-of-factly although she was still baffled by his behaviour. "He said you looked good, I wanted to know if you thought the same."
Roy Mustang tripped.
"You are becoming a problem."
"I know."
The two men stood watching the room and Eric smiled slightly.
"Life would be so boring if I wasn't." He added with a sly grin.
"It would be more manageable." The Fuhrer replied. "And you have a week to sort out whatever you and Edward were …discussing."
"There's nothing to sort out." Eric said overly casually, picking out Edward and Mustang on the dance floor. He smirked slightly as he noticed how close to each other they were. "Besides I think Mustang can sort out Edward better than I ever could."
"I don't doubt that, but they already have an understanding of each other. You however don't, and you need to at least make a start on one. I refuse to get caught in the middle of any disagreements you might have."
"That wouldn't happen."
"Oh?" The Fuhrer looked at Kinase with a sarcastic tilt to his mouth. "You'd be mouthing off on one side and I'd have Mustang on the other complaining at whatever you did to Edward."
"He wouldn't do that."
"No he wouldn't, but I'd rather he complained than let Edward handle it herself. If she did, I'd have half the city in ruins and your head on a pike outside my door after every argument."
"Then why did you choose her for this, Michael?" Eric lowered his voice and leant closer. "She's had absolutely no experience with either military or civic duties that I can see. She's more tactless than I am. She's barely twenty and don't get me started on all this sex change stuff plus she's an alchemist. You know how fond of alchemists a lot of people aren't. For a usually smart man you seem to have lost a wheel somewhere."
"Yes, she is all of those things. She's also extremely intelligent, logical to a fault and not afraid to say what she thinks. She's not some bureaucrat who can't open his mouth without thinking it through in triplicate. She's not afraid to show her ignorance or to use her intelligence. She learns, Eric. And she has Mustang at her side."
"Where one goes, the other follows?" Eric queried lightly even as he frowned.
"Yes."
"You do realise those two will kill you when they figure it out, don't you?" Eric said after a long pause.
"I have you to protect me." The Fuhrer replied with a sly grin.
"I might just line up behind them," Eric retorted.
Roy found Edward flush against him as he tried to regain his balance both physically and mentally. Everything he had just been thinking vanished as his arm tightened to keep her there.
"What's gotten into you, bastard?" Edward muttered breathlessly as she felt the warmth of him pressed against her. Shit, last time they had been this close he had been kissing her. He wasn't going to do that now, was he? Her face was going red, she could feel it and there was no way she was going to look up at him.
"This is your fault, Edward," he muttered and she stiffened. "This whole evening, this is all because you agreed to come. It's all your fault that I have no idea what I'm going to be faced with whenever you open your mouth. It's your fault that I can't relax for two minutes. It's your fault that I can not have one single dance with you without it turning into some surreal nightmare I never imagined existed. I thought I had finally managed to get a moment of reprieve but apparently not."
"My fault …what?" It sounded as if the bastard was ranting and he never ranted, not like she did, and she tried to pull back but his arm kept her close. She risked a look at him and his eye was focused on her. She shivered at the intensity she saw and he noticed.
"Tomorrow, I will pick you up and we will go for lunch and you can ask all the questions you want before we go to Gracia's." He kept his voice level as her eyes widened and he wondered how long he was going to keep his sanity let alone his self-control after the complete rollercoaster he had been sliding around for the last few minutes. "Then if you still have some questions, we will go to dinner and we will stay there until there are no more questions."
Edward blinked. She had heard that voice many times as she was growing up. The "I am the Colonel and I don't care what you think, you will do what I say' tone that he dragged out when he was reaching the end of his tether. There were two ingrained responses in Edward to this tone. One was to ignore whatever the bastard was saying and stomp off as noisily and loudly as he could; the other was to slam his hands on the desk and to go where no-one sane ever went by baiting the Colonel into a full-blown display of temper.
She suddenly became aware of a third choice as she nodded and said "Okay."
Roy Mustang tripped again.
Roy watched as Edward smiled through yet another dance and his fingers drummed on the table again. He pulled his watch out and looked at the time. Only fifteen minutes had passed since the last time he had looked. He looked at his empty coffee cup. Another cup would have him up all night. He looked around. A neat shot of whiskey would have done wonders about now, but all he could see were wine glasses and wine really wasn't strong enough to match his mood right now. He sighed.
"A problem, General?" Bird asked.
"Not really. Just wishing for something extra in my coffee, or just something extra."
"Ah, they don't serve spirits for these events." Bird grinned. "We had to ban the stronger stuff a few years ago. Some people just couldn't handle it." He gave a small laugh and his eyes twinkled. Roy smiled, wondering what memory had caused that laugh.
"Something amusing you, old man?" The Councillor suddenly appeared at the table and looked from one to the other.
"Just remembering your escapade of a few years back." Bird replied and Roy watched a slight blush appear on the Councillor's face before he grinned widely.
"Admit it, Bird, you enjoyed it as much as I did."
"No-one enjoyed it as much as you did, Eric." Bird retorted. "And you couldn't even remember half of it."
"I remembered the important bits." Kinase sounded slightly defensive.
"But they weren't the funniest moments." Bird grinned at him.
"I still think you're taking advantage of my temporary memory loss and lying about the table thing."
"Trust me Eric, I would make up something a lot more embarrassing than that if I was going to take advantage of you."
"And dancing on the table isn't embarrassing enough?"
"With only a tablecloth on?"
Roy half listened as he pulled out his watch to look at the time again.
"Impatient to leave, Lieutenant-General?" Kinase's smooth voice said as he moved to sit down next to him. Roy didn't sigh but his eye narrowed. He hadn't forgotten what Edward had asked. He doubted he was ever going to forget what Edward had said. He wondered just what the Councillor was up to.
"No, Councillor." Roy replied as sedately as he could. Kinase laughed.
"Let us pretend for the moment that I believe you." The voice stayed light as he leant in. "Earlier we discussed alchemists being used for civic works on a contractual basis as a way to begin changing some opinions and impressions. Are you still open to finding a way to make it feasible?"
"On a small scale to begin with, yes." Roy frowned and turned slightly to meet the brown eyes. "Military duties will always take precedence. A contract would have to make allowances for that."
"Agreed, as would limiting the number of contracts available at any given time." Kinase remarked.
"And only alchemists with certain lengths of service behind them would be available. I'm not having raw recruits put out there with no idea how to handle themselves." Roy stated.
"Good, I had gotten so far myself. Once a liaison track is in place, then we can push further with this." Kinase leant back in his chair and surveyed the one-eyed man. "I can see why she likes you, and our working together won't interfere with that."
Roy blinked. "Working together?" He was bewildered at the sudden change of subject and kept his voice even, not prepared to show any of his confusion to this man.
"Yes, hasn't she mentioned it yet?" Kinase's eyes flickered to the dance floor and back. "I thought she would have told you by now. She has such an impulsive manner about her at times. I'm surprised she didn't say anything, but maybe she didn't want you finding out just yet."
Roy's eye flickered. The man was deliberately baiting him although the look in the brown eyes was strangely neutral. Before Roy could react, the Councillor spoke again.
"The last dance is coming and that impulsiveness could get her accepting someone else for that dance."
"The next time Edward gets an impulse to hit you, I am going to hold you down so she can do it." Roy stood up abruptly. "Excuse me."
"Hold me down? Is that a promise, Mustang?" The light voice echoed in his ears as he strode away looking for Edward.
"Eric." The Fuhrer's voice came from behind him and the edge in that single word told him just how much trouble he was in. He resisted the urge to rub his ear as it itched at the thought of the impending lecture. Ah well, he thought, he hadn't had this much fun at one of these dinners for a long time, so it was probably worth it. He grinned, he was going to get lectured anyway, he might as well make it a good one.
Eric tilted his head back over the chair and the brown eyes gleamed as he looked up at the Fuhrer.
"Your office or mine?"
"Roy? You're going to break my fingers, and Winry will break yours if you do that."
Roy looked at her right hand. Her fingers were all scrunched together as his hand gripped them hard. He knew she couldn't feel it. It was all automail and he became aware that gripping her automail so hard was driving the plated edges into his palm. His hand was hurting more than hers. His breath left him slowly as he concentrated on loosening his grip enough for her to straighten her fingers out, but not enough that he let go completely.
Her eyebrow rose as they circled the floor. She had been in the process of declining an offer to dance when he had appeared with a brief 'excuse me' and literally dragged her back to the dance floor. She had started to protest but he had laid a gloved finger on her lips with a black frown and she had cut her tirade short. Now he was staring at the top of her head and the frown was still there.
The Councillor had something to do with it, that much she knew. She had seen them talking again as she had danced. And Roy had come straight to her as she had been trying to get back to the table. Dancing again was not what she wanted to do. She would be happy never to dance again. Apart from the Councillor, the Fuhrer and Roy, all the other dances had been boring. Struggling to make small talk, trying not to let any hint of aching feet show in her face or her movements and resenting the fact that no-one seemed to want to help her get out of it. The Fuhrer had been dancing as well and he had smiled sympathetically a couple of times, but they had been few and far between. Obligations and responsibilities. She hated it.
And now she was stuck with a sullen bastard. She sighed. She was tired. Tired of dancing, tired of being here, just so damned tired. Without realising it she moved closer and she laid her head on his shoulder. She hid a yawn against his jacket and her eyes closed halfway. He was warm and solid. There was an aroma of coffee and alchemy mingled with his cologne. She frowned lazily. Why was he smelling like alchemy? She didn't remember scenting that on him earlier. But then she hadn't had her nose buried into his jacket earlier either.
Roy was shaken out his anger as she almost snuggled against him and he blinked to find her so close without his prompting. He smiled slightly as she followed his steps almost languidly. Edward was tired. He recognised the signs and wondered if she would fall asleep standing up. He wouldn't put it past her. She seemed to be able to fall asleep anywhere. He shifted his arm slightly to hold her more securely and she merely 'mmm'd' in response.
He let his breath out. His eyelid dropped slightly. She wasn't the only tired one. The whole evening had had him spinning in all directions. He had gone through more emotional twists tonight than he had in the last four years, he was sure of it. And he had questions to ask Edward. He needed to hear an explanation of several remarks from both her and the councillor. And knowing Edward, she had a whole slew of questions lined up, although hopefully not all of them were as startling as her earlier one. He still wasn't sure he had completely understood all she had said about that one.
He smiled slowly. It wasn't a complete disaster. He had Edward in his arms for the last dance and he had managed to invite her not only to dinner tomorrow, but to lunch as well. In fact he had nearly the whole day with her. He automatically began to wonder what could possibly go wrong before he caught himself up short and told the little voice to 'fuck off because nothing was going to go wrong, not this time'. It was strangely satisfying to be so blunt about it.
"Wake up Edward," he murmured as he heard the last bars of the music beginning.
"'m awake," came from somewhere against his chest.
"You don't sound it." She could feel his voice rumbling through his chest and she blinked a few times. She was probably more asleep than awake, but she was awake. She swallowed the yawn that made her ears pop.
"Is it nearly finished?" She asked her, head shifting slightly as she began to look around.
"Yes, this is the last dance."
"About fucking time," she said with obvious relief. "Why bother dancing the last one though? We could have sat down, we could've left even." Although she knew they were obligated to remain until the Fuhrer dismissed them, a bit of wishful thinking never went astray.
"The last dance is special." Roy replied, his smile evident in his words.
"What's so special about it?" Edward asked blinking slightly as his voice dropped into the sounds that always made her feel extra warm.
"It's usual to dance it with the person you're going home with." Roy said keeping his voice low as she lifted her head from his shoulder to look at him.
"You're already taking me home. We came in the same car." Edward pointed out and he resisted the urge to shake her or kiss her or to do both at her denseness.
"Edward," he started to say and his lips twisted. He let his breath out and shook his head knowing Edward Elric had to be the most un-romantic person in existence. "Edward, the last dance is also for those who like each other. You had to dance with others, but nothing said we couldn't have the last dance together. I do like you and you did say you liked me, if I remember correctly."
Her eyes widened as her cheeks went pink. She didn't know how he could say the words so easily. It wasn't hard to think them, but saying them out loud made her feel self-conscious. She hadn't said them to him since that day in the office. It wasn't that she couldn't say the words at all, she had managed to say them to Al and Gracia, just not to him.
The music ended and they stopped moving. Just before Roy let go of her he leant closer, brushing his lips against her cheek.
"Thank you for the dance, Edward," he murmured before he straightened up, joining in the applause for a moment and then offering her his arm. Edward put her hand on his forearm and let him lead her from the floor, her face red and fighting an urge to touch that burning spot on her cheek where he had just kissed her.
They wove their way through people making their preparations to leave. Several people stopped them to talk and it took them a while to get back to the table. The Fuhrer and the Councillor had moved to a spot near the lectern and most people detoured past them on their way out. Edward and Roy moved to stand behind the Fuhrer after he caught their eye.
The warmth Edward had felt during that last dance was dissipating fast as her feet really began to ache, and she watched the dwindling crowd with a barely concealed eagerness. Roy thought she was probably counting them down as he saw her head turn again to scan the room. He also wanted to leave and he was hiding a frown as he tried to figure out how he was going to be able to kiss Edward with a driver present in the car.
It had never really mattered to him before if anyone did see, but four years had changed him and he did not want to open his personal life up that much for every one's perusal. Besides he knew Edward would object, strenuously as well. He was aware that people would soon find out. Those closest to them already knew. But they could be trusted not to say anything and they would help him protect Edward, because they all knew how she felt about public recognition. Her reaction to having her private life bruited about would be destructive, to say the least.
"Thank you Lieutenant-General, Lieutenant-Colonel for attending," the Fuhrer said and they saluted as the room finally cleared.
"Thank you Sir," they both murmured politely and Roy saw the Councillor wink at Edward who glowered back at him. Roy caught the Fuhrer's eye.
"Time to go, Edward." Roy lightly grasped her elbow and with a small bow began directing her towards the doors.
"And we have several matters to discuss, Eric." The Fuhrer's voice was firm. "Your office."
"I think the asshole is in for a long lecture," Edward smugly remarked around a yawn as she settled into the car, kicking her shoes off and curling her legs up. "The Fuhrer sounded pissed with him."
"He deserves it," Roy muttered as he watched her lean back with a contented sigh.
"What?" She asked, not having quite caught his words.
"Nothing." He shook his head. Time enough tomorrow to discuss all the Councillor had done, when he had calmed down a bit more to where the mere thought of the man did not cause his fingers to itch. Of more interest to him was Edward, and the way the scattered lights still burning this late flashed through the car window, illuminating her face as she sat there.
For all Edward's energy and enthusiasm, she was very comfortable with silence. She didn't feel the need to fill it with idle words just for the sake of talking. She was content to let it stay there, not feeling isolated because of it. She was aware of him beside her. She was always aware of him now. She couldn't remember how many times she had looked for him during the evening. Seeing him had eased the urge to lash out at several idiots. It hadn't mattered that he hadn't been looking at her, she had just needed to know he had been there.
Lunch tomorrow, she thought, feeling the tiredness creeping up again. And dinner. With him. How many of the questions she had managed to burden herself with could she ask him? Some were easy, but others? They were harder. But he was the only one who could answer them. Unless she tried Gracia again. She shook her head, her eyes closing. No, Gracia couldn't answer some of them, but there was one she could. And Gracia would probably understand it better than Roy did. That pang she had felt when the Councillor had spoken, the same one she had felt when she had seen him talking to that unknown woman. Feelings were something she didn't feel comfortable discussing with Roy, especially strange ones like that one. She yawned. She might actually be able to sleep tonight.
Roy felt her head collide with his upper arm as she slid sideways, fast asleep. He smiled as he turned slightly, settling her head against his shoulder more comfortably.
"There's a small rug in the drawer under the seat, Sir." The soft voice of his driver told him and he looked up to meet his eyes in the mirror.
"Thank you Sergeant." He kept one arm around her as he fished under the seat, removing the rug and spreading it over the sleeping Edward. She nestled in, one hand pulling it closer around her without waking.
It was a bare fifteen minute drive back to the dorms and Roy dropped the 'how to get a kiss goodnight' plans to 'how to get her to her dorm if she didn't wake up' plans. The main stumbling block being that he didn't know which dorm she was in.
As they pulled up to the kerb, he called her name. All she did was pull the rug up to her ears and grumble. He tried shaking her and her head went under the blanket. He shared an amused look with the driver before he tried again.
"Major Elric!" His voice echoed in the confined space and she shot up, hitting her head on the car ceiling before falling back onto the seat and glaring at him.
"What the fuck was that for, you bastard Colonel? I was sleeping, you fucking idiot!" She placed her hands on her head. "Damn shit, that hurts."
"You are a heavy sleeper Edward." He remarked, smirk firmly in place.
"Shut up, bastard." She almost snarled at him and blinked madly, trying to wake up properly.
"I could have left you here, or carried you to your dorm." Or taken you home with me slipped through his mind and he clamped his mouth tight to stop himself from saying that out loud.
"There are other ways." She complained as she rubbed her head.
"Well, shaking and calling didn't seem to work."
She stifled a yawn as she looked out the car window. "Where are we?"
"At the dorms."
She blinked and found the door opening by the driver. She got out of the car, thanking him with a nod and turned back to look at Roy.
"Thanks for a delightful evening bastard." She said sarcastically although the edge was missing as sleep coloured her voice.
"Likewise, Edward." He watched her walk to the door and frowned. Something wasn't right. He blinked and looked at her feet and then at the car floor. She had left her shoes behind. He lifted them up as she disappeared into the building and he slid along the seat to follow.
The lobby was dimly lit, unattended at this time of the night, and the elevator was open and no Edward was there. He looked around and saw the way to the stairs and hurried that way.
"Edward," he said quietly as he saw her just starting to go up the stairs. She turned, startled to see him there. He held up her shoes and she looked at her stockinged toes and then back at the shoes.
"Damn, I didn't realise I forgot them."
"You're tired, Edward." He walked closer. "Why are you taking the stairs?"
"I always take the stairs." She turned to hide her yawn and he smiled.
"Come on sleepyhead, let me walk you to your door before you fall over and sleep here the rest of the night." He moved to her side, ignoring her startled look and linked her hand through his arm and began walking up the stairs with her.
She wasn't going to admit that it was easier having him there. The sleepless nights had caught up with her and combined with the relief of having survived the evening had pushed her right into exhaustion. Several times she nearly tripped and was only saved by his quick grab.
He held her arm tighter as she stumbled and wondered if it would be easier if he did carry her. She was obviously exhausted and he wondered why that was. Her new position was not strenuous and she didn't work long hours. The only reason he could think of for her being so tired would be that she wasn't sleeping. Which led him to wonder what she was doing instead of sleeping. Was something bothering her enough to keep her awake or was she researching and reading the nights away?
"Which floor are you on?" He asked quietly as they went past the second floor landing.
"The next one. The third."
"What room number?"
"Thirty-five. Why?"
"So I know which room is yours when you fail to make it to the next landing."
"Bastard," and he smiled as she yawned straight after speaking.
"I know, you've told me that often enough."
"…glad I'm not doing this in those shoes," he heard her mutter and he chuckled. "It's not funny, bastard."
"You should have used the elevator."
"No, I prefer stairs," and even though her voice was tired there was an abruptness to it that surprised him. He looked at her but she was looking upwards to the third floor landing. "Besides it's good exercise, you slack bastard." She added it more as an afterthought and it lacked any real bite and she spoiled it by yawning again.
He shook his head. Edward was the most stubborn person he had ever known. She was leaning against him as they stepped up to the landing and through the door into the hall. He was relieved to see her door was fairly close and watched amused as she fumbled at the side of her dress for a moment, hearing the chinking of keys but her fingers too sleep-muddled to get them clear of the material. He was not surprised when she shrugged and just clapped to unlock her door.
She turned to him and instead of letting her go he pulled her gently to him, leaning down to brush her lips with his. It was the way her breath caught that made him linger rather than move away as he had planned, wanting her to be very aware the next time he kissed her, not half asleep.
"Edward?" He questioned lightly as he trailed light kisses around her lips.
"Roy." His name was a mere whisper on her breath but her eyes were open and she was looking at him. The warmth from him was settling into her chest and the feather-light touches were making her warmer. She knew he was going to kiss her. This time she knew what was happening. She didn't know if she was quite ready for it, but she didn't really care. Whether the voices were too tired to protest or whether because she wanted it, she tilted her head slightly to meet his lips.
His lips settled on hers and her eyes drifted shut as he pulled her closer. So different to last time she hazily thought. There was no long moment of surprise this time and she kissed him back. She followed the way his mouth moved, breathing deeply of him. The coffee and alchemy flavours had faded and now it was simply Roy she could smell and taste.
She wondered what to do with her hands but they seemed content to rest at the sides of his waist. His arms slid around her. One around her shoulders, the other around her waist and her shoes slipped out of his hands and fell to the floor unheeded by both of them.
The sudden wetness of his tongue tracing her lips made her gasp slightly as the heat within her surged. It felt like a full body flush and her hands tightened at his waist. His tongue slipped along the insides of her lips, going no further and she could feel her mind falling somewhere into incoherency.
Roy tasted her slowly, not pushing beyond her teeth as he felt her breathing become erratic. The small moan she let free tingled through him and he kissed her deeper. The moment the tip of her tongue met his, they both shivered, his groan echoed by her whimper. Through the haze he struggled to control himself. He pulled back slightly, gently mouthing around her bottom lip, unwilling to completely stop. He reluctantly broke away and lifted his head slightly to kiss her forehead. He held her tight as he tried to get his thoughts going in a straight line again
Edward rested her head against his chest feeling his chin settle against the top of her head. She was shaking and it was hard to breathe evenly. She had expected it to be like that first kiss and it hadn't been anything like it. She didn't remember feeling this warm, this shaky last time. She shivered as she remembered the feel of his tongue in her mouth. The mere thought should have freaked her out but she hadn't had time to think, hell she hadn't been capable of thinking at the time. And it had affected him too. She had heard him groan. It wasn't just her. His breathing was as rough as hers she realised. Her blood was still pulsing in her ears and she was very reluctant to move.
Roy stood there wondering why it felt perfectly natural to be in the hallway of the female dorms at midnight with Edward in his arms and to be shaking like a damned leaf. His heart was pounding and it was taking time to get his breathing back to normal. Nothing should be comfortable about this situation, especially the blonde in his arms. He could feel her trembling and he slid his chin over her head lightly before pulling back slightly to look down at her.
She felt him move and looked up to meet his eye.
The hallway was dim but they could see each other. No traces of regret, no signs of confusion yet. The almost darkness granted a sense of security to them both.
"I'm not walking this on my own?" Edward whispered, unable to resist the need for confirmation.
"No." His reply was as simple as her question. He lifted his hand and brushed her hair from her face. "We're in this together."
Her breath wafted out in a sigh. "Why you?"
"Why not me?" He smiled as she almost frowned at him.
"Bastard."
"I could ask the same, why you." That startled her and her eyes went wide. He leant forward and kissed her nose and smiled as she scrunched it up. He let her go and stepped back, knowing if he didn't leave now he was going to start kissing her again. "Good night Edward."
She nearly tensed her fingers in his jacket to stop him from stepping back but she let her hands drop. "Good night Roy."
He turned to walk away and she watched as he reached the stairwell. He turned and saw her there.
"And no," he said, his low voice carrying in the silence. "I do not think the Councillor looks good."
She could hear the smirk in his voice as he disappeared.
Edward woke up the next morning and wondered why she was still in the black dress. It took her five very fuzzy moments to remember that she had walked into her room, dropped onto the bed and stared at the ceiling. It was rather blank after that and it was obvious that she had fallen asleep instead of getting up to change and then go to bed properly.
She stretched and felt well rested. A look at her watch told her it was nearly nine. No wonder she felt good, she thought. She'd had more sleep last night than she had managed nearly all week.
She stood up and yawned, a hand going back to pull her hair from its tie. She shook her hair loose and rolled her head from side to side as she padded to the bathroom. She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror and stopped to stare at herself for a moment.
"Why him?" she asked and then frowned. "Why me?" She liked him because she liked him. There didn't seem to be base cause to it all. He was the one she liked. Therefore she liked him. Was it the same for him? He liked her because he liked her? Did it matter why he liked her? She tilted her head and grimaced. Of course it mattered.
There had to be a reason somewhere. And what would she do if she did find a reason? She groaned. She was twisting it all around again. "Why can't I keep things simple?" she grumbled. Because that's who I am, she thought. Always looking for the reasons, never accepting that things could just be.
Gracia's question from yesterday echoed. If I was as I used to be would I still like him, she repeated silently. She took a deep breath as she realised she probably would have still liked him. But would it have gone anywhere? Would Roy have been interested in him as he was in her? Her left hand came up and ran across her lips and they tingled as she remembered. Would he have kissed him like that?
"I am Edward Elric," she said to her reflection and stopped. She sighed. "I'm being an idiot. I kissed the bastard again and I liked it. It was the best part of the evening and I don't regret it. It doesn't matter whether he would've kissed me as I was or not, he kissed me as I am." She stopped again as her eyes widened.
"What am I? No. Who am I?" She whispered. "I am Edward." She answered herself and then she took a deep breath as she continued. "It doesn't matter if the outside is different to the inside. I am Edward!" She stared at her reflection and she slowly smiled. So what if the reflected face was that of a young woman, the eyes were the same ones he had always had.
The smile gradually faded. What has changed she wondered. Where had this sudden clarity come from? How could one night make such a difference in her thinking? Because last night he was the only one who saw me. The only one who had not seen her as a symbol or a curiousity. She wasn't stupid, she was aware that the Fuhrer had a plan somewhere and judging from what the Councillor had said, he knew it too. Last night had shown her all too clearly that what she looked like did determine how people would react to her.
She looked down at the basin and her eyes lit upon the corsage still attached to her dress. Carefully she unpinned it after twisting it around to see how he had attached it.It was remarkably resilient she thought as she straightened one petal that had bent over. It looked exactly as it had last night. White with that golden splash on it.
"We're in this together." Roy had told her last night. Her hand shook and she put the flower down carefully before turning away to turn the shower on. She undressed and stepped under the water.
Roy Mustang. Of all people to be involved with, it had to be him. Do I want to know where this is going, she wondered then she laughed. It was a bit late to wonder that she thought, when I've already taken the first steps.
Roy rolled over and stretched as he slowly woke up. He smiled sleepily as he remembered last night and his smile widened as he recalled he had most of the day with her as well. After last night, today could only keep getting better. He hoped. Anything involving Edward was subject to change without warning.
Last night had been just one such occasion. What had seemed to start off as a normal night had quickly sent him adrift in places with feelings he had never thought himself capable of. Blind jealousy for one. Dumbstruck when Edward had accepted his plans for today had been another. Several times Edward had pushed him off balance. Actually, he thought, she was responsible for every time he had been unbalanced.
And he knew she had no idea of what she did to him. Even when he could see she was puzzled by him, she didn't realise it was because of her that he was reacting, changing. Becoming something, someone he wasn't quite sure of yet.
"I'm not walking this on my own?" her words echoed and he smiled slightly. He wasn't the only one changing. She was becoming a definition for change. Every time he turned around, she appeared different again. And seeking the reassurance that she was not alone in this was definitely a change. Edward Elric had to be one of the most confident people he knew. To have her ask such a question also told him that she was aware that this was going somewhere.
Where exactly he didn't know, and he didn't really want to look that far ahead. For the first time in a long time he was prepared to let the future take care of itself. No plans, no goals other than to have Edward beside him wherever it went. The words sounded good he thought but he knew it was never that easy.
He sat up in the bed. Taking things one day at a time wasn't something he felt he was equipped to handle but lately he had been doing just that. And look how much fun that's been, he told himself. He rolled his eye. It was a strange definition of fun but it was the word that fitted best. Fun as a synonym for being alive, for feeling and for never knowing what was going to happen next.
He got out of bed and made his way to the bathroom. He had always had his life planned out before. A schedule and deadlines for the office, and before he had closed off, he had always been punctual for any occasion out.
He stood under the shower and knew that Edward had her own personal time zone. She was either early or late. Punctuality was something forced on her by others. Namely Al as they had grown up. And now she had a staff to enforce it. Hawkeye had only had to enforce Roy's compliance to deadlines, he had always been happy to keep appointments, because they got him out of the paperwork.
He stopped as his hand reached for the tap. He hadn't told Edward what time he was picking her up. Had he? He thought hard. He hadn't. He turned the tap off. He'd ring the dorms and get a message sent to her. That should solve that problem. Except then everyone would know. As if people hadn't already seen him waiting outside the dorms last night for someone. As if the news they had been present at a function last night together was not going to be public knowledge anyway.
"As if I care," he muttered as he walked back into his bedroom. And he realised he didn't care. He wasn't about to start indulging in public displays of affection but having people link their names together was not something he found himself adverse to. He knew people already linked them in regards to their spats and arguments, he wondered how long it would take for that impression to change.
He liked Edward and it was nobody's business but his and hers. Where it went depended only on them, and no-one else. How they decided to do things was also up to them. They were going to have to talk about this. Last night's small exchange was just a start. Edward wasn't the only one with questions he thought.
The knock at her door was a surprise and Ed opened it to see a slightly uncomfortable looking Sergeant standing there. She was older than Edward and her eyes were flicking into the dorm behind the blonde.
"Lieutenant-Colonel Elric?" The Sergeant fidgeted and Edward's eyebrow rose.
"That's me. What is it Sergeant?"
"A message for you." The Sergeant held out a slip of paper and Edward took it.
"Thanks." Edward turned to go back into her room but the Sergeant gave a small cough. Edward turned back. "Was there something else, Sergeant?"
"Umm, your shoes, Ma'am." She pointed down and Edward saw her shoes lying on the floor just outside her door. "Regulations state that…personnel aren't supposed to have guests, Ma'am." The Sergeant said hesitantly as the Lieutenant-Colonel began to frown.
"Firstly, Sergeant, do not call me Ma'am. 'Sir' will do fine. Secondly, I don't have a guest and I fail to see why you would say that anyway." Edward spoke firmly. "And thirdly, thank you for telling me about my shoes."
"Uh, Sir, it's just that leaving something like a shoe outside your door usually means you do have a visitor, and you… don't want… to be disturbed." The Sergeant began blushing as the golden eyes went wide.
"So it's like the tie on the handle in the men's dorms?" Edward queried and the Sergeant went even redder.
"Yes, Sir."
"How intriguing." Edward remarked. Men and women were similar in many ways, she thought. "Well, I hate to disappoint you Sergeant, but I dropped them when I got back last night. But I'll remember that if I ever do have a guest." She couldn't resist adding with a grin just to make the poor woman blush harder.
Ed bent to pick them up and gave the Sergeant and nod. "Thanks again." The Sergeant saluted and left and Ed closed her door and leant back against it, fighting the urge not to laugh. As if she was ever going to have a guest. Only Al had been in here and he didn't count.
She looked at the shoes in her hand. Seeing a tie on a dorm door had taken her and Al a few months to understand and they hadn't really understood exactly what happened behind those closed doors. Four years of military dorms and mess halls had given them all sorts of miscellaneous information and Ed had ignored most of it. Now she began to remember bits of it and it wasn't anything to make her feel confident. She decided right there that never, never was she going to have a shoe outside her door.
"Fuck." The word escaped as her mind took one more step and she went cold. The shoes fell to the floor. Roy. Her eyes flickered as her face began to turn red. He had been outside the door, kissing her last night. Two steps and they would have been in her room. That didn't mean that any of those vaguely recalled stories would come true. Male soldiers were notorious exaggerators, which was partly why she had paid little attention to them.
But she had seen him leave the office to go on many dates. She'd never known what happened after that. Had he done the same as he had last night? Walked them home, kissed them and then gone home? Or had he stayed?
Ed groaned and sank to the floor and stared at her shoes. These thoughts were bringing back that strange pang and making her feel uneasy as well. Shit, just where was this thing heading?
"I really need to stop thinking so much."
Roy stood outside the dorms at eleven o'clock and wondered where Edward was. He had rung and sent a message. He had even detoured on his way here to go past a café he had remembered from years back to make sure it still existed. He had also made dinner reservations and whether Edward had questions or not, they were going to go to dinner. He was going to insist on it.
Five past eleven and she still hadn't appeared. He shouldn't have to wait for her, he suddenly thought. It wasn't like him to wait at all really. He smiled and straightened up and began to walk towards the dorms. His smile became a smirk as he pushed open the door and met the enquiring glance of a Sergeant at the lobby desk.
"Is Lieutenant-Colonel Elric here?" He asked and saw the Sergeant's eyes go wide. The dark haired one eyed man reminded her of the description of the Ice General but she had never seen him casually dressed like this man was. Neither had she heard of the General's face even coming close to showing any emotion except anger. It couldn't be him asking for the Lieutenant-Colonel. They were always arguing with each other. It just couldn't be him.
"Uh, yes Sir. She hasn't left the building as far as I know."
"Thank you, Sergeant." He nodded and headed for the lift.
"Uh, Sir? It's …"
He smiled. "It's ok, Sergeant. I know which room it is." He said blandly, knowing full well what she was going to say and deliberately ignoring it. He stepped into the lift and closed the door before she could say anything more.
His smile grew. He hadn't been able to surprise anyone like that for a long time. It was a reminder of just how predictable he had become. And while it wasn't against regulations for him to be in the building, it was pushing the limit of the rule by just waltzing in.
He stepped out of the lift and walked to Edward's door before knocking loudly. The door opened just as the Sergeant appeared, panting from having hurried up the stairs at the stairwell door.
"What are you doing here, bastard?" Edward asked, a distracted look in her eyes.
"You're late."
She blinked. "I am?" He watched as she frowned, the golden eyes losing their unfocused look and stared at him. "Oh shit. I forgot! Is it eleven already?"
"Yes it is." He leant on the doorframe as she whirled back into her room with a sudden blush. He could hear her muttering "…watch, dammit… keys." He smiled slightly, well aware of the Sergeant still watching, as he followed Edward's mad dash from one room to the next. Papers were strewn over the desk and couch so he assumed she had found something to research. That had been what had distracted her, he had no doubt about that. But the blush made him curious as did the way she was avoiding meeting his eye as she fixed her watch to her pants.
He blinked as he realised what she was wearing. Not the expected jeans and shirt but the black slacks and deep blue shirt she had worn to the interview. Her hair was pulled into its long braid. He mentally debated whether to mention her sudden wardrobe change but chose not to. Much as he would like to think she had dressed up, well, dressed up compared to her usual level of casualness, for him, he had a feeling that her reasons were far different.
"I'm ready." She said as she approached the door. "Don't just stand there bastard."
He grinned. Edward had always been able to find a way to make it appear to be his fault, no matter what the situation.
"About time." He spoke easily as he stepped away and Ed pulled the door shut with a loud bang, following him into the hall. Her eyes caught those of the Sergeant and the blush flared in her face briefly.
She didn't need to have the earlier thoughts spring back into her mind. She had managed to drown them beneath alchemy and Hohenheim's papers from the Library. But seeing Roy appear at her door and now to see the curious eyes watching had them trying to resurface. And the overly human Roy… with a grin on his face for fuck's sake. Just what was with that? Well, she wasn't going to let it get to her.
"Come on bastard. Race you down the stairs." She said with a grin and began to walk towards them. She saw the Sergeant move away and gave her a quick nod as she went past and into the stairwell.
"A race, Edward?"
"Yes. Last one down has to do the other's paperwork for a day."
"Edward." Roy's voice was low, tempted by the thought of having her do his paperwork but unwilling to forgo his dignity and her eyes gleamed, daring him as she smirked at him.
"Feeling a bit scared, Lieutenant-General?" She taunted. His eye narrowed. He knew her well. She wouldn't have suggested this unless she knew she had a very good chance of winning. And Roy hated losing. He looked down the stairs and several possibilities sprang to mind.
"Very well, Edward. Last one down has to do the other's paperwork." Her eyes narrowed and he smirked. She hadn't expected him to agree and now she was wary. She knew him as well. He would have a plan but she hadn't figured it out yet.
"Okay."
They both stood at the top step and looked at each other. Roy smirked and Ed grinned.
"Go!"
Edward went down two steps at a time, gripping the rail as she neared the halfway turn preparing to swing over it. The sudden fireball above her head had her cursing and ducking, unable to take the short cut and forced to take the turn normally. Roy sprinted down to be a few steps behind her.
"That's cheating, bastard!"
"I am merely creating an advantage for me."
He repeated it at the second floor landing and again got within a few feet of her. Edward could hear him getting closer and knew he would do it again at the next turn. As long as he could keep her from taking the quicker turn he was always going to stay close. Roy was a sneaky bastard, she thought. She thought about using alchemy as well but realised that most of what she could do would be too unfair. She had to find a way to just tip it her way.
Her eyes gleamed and as she skidded around the next turn ducking under his fireball, she clapped and hit the floor with her hand. The stairs became a slide down to the first floor landing which now curved into a slope leading into the last flight. A slide all the way to the ground floor, and she had smooth soled shoes on.
"Now who's cheating, shrimp?"
"Just evening the score, bastard."
She slid, fingers skimming the rail, getting ready to grip tight to use the momentum of her speed and the next turn to increase the gap between them. She ducked at the sound of his snap behind her but no fireball flared and she hesitated slightly, hearing his chuckle as she mistimed her turn and the gap narrowed again.
One full flight to go and her advantage hadn't really been what she had hoped. How did he manage to stay so close? He wasn't supposed to be able to do this. Maybe she should alchemise the railing to trap him, or put obstacles in his path to trip him up after all. But he had merely used his alchemy to slow her down and she had used hers to try and negate that. She really couldn't justify anything else. Not without this losing its friendly edge and heading straight into competition. And she didn't want to go there.
As she approached the last turn she wasn't sure if he was going to snap or not. Damned bastard had set her up for this precise moment, she just knew it. Indecision was not something Edward was good at handling. But she didn't have time to worry about her choice and she ducked slightly just in case as she took the last corner. He snapped but instead of flaring above her, the fireball shot past her.
She instinctively leant to avoid it and lost the rhythm of her footwork as her feet skidded more than she had allowed for. Her speed slowed considerably and she was startled to find him right at her side, his longer legs sliding efficiently.
He was a single step ahead of her as they reached the end of the stairs-become-slide.
"It was your idea."
Edward glowered as she stuck her fork into the noodles and began winding it around.
"That's beside the point." She snapped. "You weren't supposed to win."
He smiled and she knew she was being slightly childish considering he wasn't gloating over her as she had half expected he would.
The drive to this small café had been a silent one. Ed had been put out by his win and he had been content to let her stay silent as he concentrated on driving.
He had surprised himself by enjoying that little game. It had been a long time since he had done something, anything like that. Not since Maes had dared him to steal the flag from the main post outside Headquarters. He still wasn't sure how he had managed it. They had both gotten themselves horrendously drunk after Maes had dared him, and they had woken up the next morning in their dorm with several flags draped over them. He had claimed victory because even Maes couldn't remember how they had gotten any of them.
He watched her eating and felt remarkably relaxed. The questions he wanted to ask hovered but the urgency was gone from them. He was content to sit here and realise that one thing they had was time. His ambitions had been made defunct and she was no longer rushing around everywhere. They could take as long as they needed. There was no hurry, no need to force anything. Not that forcing Edward was something he was prepared to do.
"Where did you learn to slide like that?" She asked suddenly.
"After basic training, I did six months up North," he replied. "It was winter and skiing was the only way you could get around. You never really lose your balance once you get it."
"I didn't know that," and then she blushed, rolling her eyes at her own obviousness and he smirked at her. "Don't say it," she warned.
"I wouldn't dream of it, Edward." And they both knew he lied and Edward shook her head as they grinned. "I'll make sure there's not too much paperwork for you," he added.
"How considerate of you."
"I'll even ask Hawkeye to put the gun away for the day."
"Like that would ever happen." Edward shivered. "Hawkeye would be more than willing to sit there with a gun to my head at the moment I think."
"Ahh yes, you did say you hung up on her yesterday." He smiled slightly. "What did she do to warrant such treatment?"
"It was nothing important." Edward put her elbow on the table and rested the side of her face against her palm. "But it was just more than I needed at the time."
"I don't think you have anything to worry about." Roy remarked. "Riza's not going to hold a grudge."
"I know that," Edward said. "But she was just so definite about coming to help, that I know she's going to at least want to talk about it."
"Help you with what?" Roy asked, puzzled and unable to think of anything Edward needed help with. Particularly Riza's help.
"They thought I needed help to get ready for last night." Edward grumbled slightly. Roy's eyebrow rose.
"They?"
"Winry and Riza." She sighed. "Al stopped Winry somehow but she set Riza on to me. It was just too hard to keep repeating myself, so I hung up. I didn't need help for that. It turned out okay, Gracia said so."
"It turned out more than okay, Edward. You looked very lovely." He spoke sincerely and she met his gaze. She had seen that look in his eye last night. She had seen it when she had left the dorms to see him by the car, when she had managed to stop staring at him for long enough to realise he was staring at her. It was clearer in the light of day. It was Roy looking at Edward and …liking what he saw.
"It really doesn't bother you, does it?" She asked without thinking.
"What doesn't?" He asked in return, not sure where her thoughts had gone.
"That I'm different like I am." She explained as she waved her hand around, a small frown appearing between her eyes.
"No, it doesn't bother me." He said as he understood what she meant. And it didn't. He had always seen her as Edward.
"How do you manage that?" She asked and he smiled slightly.
"I said before that only you can define who you are. We all see you as Edward. Does the gender matter?"
"Winry and Riza wouldn't have offered to help before."
"You weren't female before." Roy pointed out, keeping his voice matter of fact and logical. Edward was working her way through something. He knew what Elrics looked like when they started thinking. The seemingly random starting point that would lead them to question and find answers for others and themselves. He had seen Al do it on numerous occasions.
"I wasn't becoming involved with you before either." She muttered going pink and his eyebrow rose. "You think they would have offered if I had still been male?" She shook her head. "The only one who might have been concerned would have been Al. The rest of you would have assumed that I knew what to do."
Roy didn't know what to say to that. Edward had a valid point. Men didn't bother to offer help to each other unless it was to borrow cufflinks or to scrounge a tie. To deliberately ask another man if he knew how to dress for any occasion was almost like saying they were incapable of getting dressed full stop.
"And if we had offered, you would have refused it anyway."
"I know. I don't need help to get dressed. It's not like you can go wrong with a suit anyway. But because I'm female now, how I look suddenly concerns them. Whatever reasons they had, Winry and Riza, even Gracia, asked if I needed the help."
"I would assume it's because women seem to need an extra hour to get ready in." Roy remarked.
"No they don't." Edward stared at him and tilted her head. "Why would they need extra time?" She asked him.
"They use it to decide what to wear, to put make up on, and to decide what accessories they need."
"That seems a bit excessive," Edward remarked. "How do you know that?"
"Because I dated a lot of women over the years." Roy spoke without thinking and his eye widened as he suddenly realised what he had said.
Edward felt it again. That little pang that suddenly didn't seem so little all of a sudden. She sat very still and let it wash through her. It was like a cold wave at first but it got warmer as it grew and she suddenly had to take a deep breath.
She watched it and part of her mind was clinically analysing it as it swept through her. It almost drowned out the voice of reason that was pointing out that she had known Roy had dated lots of women in the past and as it told her that Roy liked her. He was not trying to hide anything. She was the one talking to him, telling him things. She could hardly complain about him being honest when she had asked him the question.
"That was over four years ago, Edward. I doubt women's habits have changed that much since then."
See, the little voice told her, absolutely no reason to feel hurt and annoyed. She let her breath out slowly and pulled her mind back into the line she had been following.
"And people are going assume I have similar habits." She sighed, feeling herself calming down as reason reasserted itself. "Why do people have to judge someone on how they look anyways?"
"Because it's easy. Getting to know someone requires commitment and a willingness to listen. People don't always want to do that. People can be very selfish. They care more about themselves."
"People are selfish, Edward. They will stare at you because you're different, because you have a strange story, but very few will really care about youThe Councillor's words suddenly echoed in her head.
"But friends won't judge. The people who care won't judge." She said as she considered the thought.
"No, they won't. That's why they're your friends. They've taken the time, made the effort to get to know you. And you've done the same to them. You can know a lot of people, but only your friends will know you."
Edward looked at the empty plate in front of her. "It's as if I have to learn this all over again. To make it real, to make it part of me again. Integrating things from what I was to fit in with what I am now." She put her other elbow on the table and leant forward to rest her chin on her hands. "The problem is that there are all these new aspects and things I never had to consider before. And finding places for them all is hard."
"People are always changing." Roy looked at his hands for a moment, before looking at her. "You've changed and not just physically. The same applies to me as well. After four years of living in a hole I know it's the changing that keeps us alive, that keeps us human."
She stared at him. Here was the biggest change. Sitting here and talking to him, conversing with him. Sharing with him and not feeling self-conscious or even slightly uncomfortable. They had come a long way since that night in the Library. And their dash down the stairs had revealed a whole new side to him. There was a sense of fun in him that he had kept hidden and that she had rarely seen. The little hints of it she had seen had never allowed her to realise that it was a larger part of him that he let on. How much more of himself had he not shown yet?
"This liking each other makes it different too. As I change, as you change, it changes as well. I don't understand it, it confuses me, it's not logical and it frustrates the hell out of me. I have to trust you with this because I don't know what else to do at this point."
Roy sat there, the golden eyes serious and surprisingly vulnerable. Edward's honesty. He had seen it before but never had he seen it applied to this extent. Not towards herself, to them.
"Neither do I. All I know is that I like you, that I'm as unsure about this as you and that I don't have the option of going back anymore. Always go forward. You always said that. I don't know if it will be logical or sensible, I just know that if we don't do anything about this then we'll both lose."
There was a long moment of silence and Roy could see Edward thinking. Edward's honesty frightened him. It didn't allow any escape. It demanded the same level of honesty in return. There was no way to go back now. For either of them.
She was a collection of opposites. She melted in his arms one moment, she dared him the next and she could open up like this without warning. He was never going to figure her out.
"Regrets can get very heavy." Edward said suddenly.
"I know."
"And I don't always have the words for what I want to say."
"I don't expect you to. I won't always know what to say or do either." He frowned slightly and then reached across the table to brush her hair from her forehead. "Edward, this is not supposed to be perfect. It's as imperfect as we are."
Edward stilled for a moment and then smiled. "I never thought I'd ever hear you admitting to not being perfect." Her voice was light but he could see understanding in her eyes.
"And I never thought to see you eat lunch and not have dessert." Roy replied equally lightly.
"Bastard." She leant back in her chair, letting his comment go past her. She felt slightly easier for having spoken although she hadn't intended for it to happen. But once she started a thought, she had to take it as far as she could go and this time there had been nothing to interrupt or to distract her. If anything, his answers had pushed her further along even when it felt as if her mind had jumped tracks and led her off on a tangent. She hadn't even started on the questions from last night.
And now it was harder to bring up the Councillor and the liaison position. She looked at him. Was he still planning on taking her to dinner tonight? Would she be able to talk about it then, or would she get sidetracked again? Lunch had been nothing like she had expected. Would dinner go the same way?
"We'll have to go soon, Edward." Roy remarked as he looked at his watch.
"You wear your watch more often now." Edward commented. "You never used to."
"I always had it with me. It was usually in my pocket."
"Why was that?" Edward asked and saw his face pale slightly. She straightened up slightly. She knew what bad memories looked like. She bit her lip, curiousity warring with a sudden urge to apologise.
He shook his head at her, seeing the conflict on her face. He didn't want her to feel that she couldn't ask him anything. They had often spoken to each other without thinking. He wanted to keep that. He never wanted her to have to consider what she said to him. He looked at his gloves lying on the table beside him. He ran a finger over the array.
"Once I made Lieutenant-Colonel I stopped wearing my watch as much. Alchemists rarely get promoted and I always had my gloves. I didn't need to have an extra sign of my status hanging at my hip." He paused and lifted his eye to meet hers. "And after Ishbal, being an alchemist was not something I felt particularly proud of being."
"People used to point at mine. That old phrase 'dog of the military.' I wore mine because that was all I felt I could claim to be sometimes, until I fulfilled my promises." The golden eyes met his. "But I also wore it because it meant that I had achieved something. That I had accomplished something that might not have meant much to anyone else but it was a sign that I could do it. That I wasn't completely worthless."
"You were never worthless, Edward."
"Neither were you." She tilted her head at him. "You were the bane of my life, you were a living nightmare to have to deal with some days, I absolutely detested you, but you were never worthless."
Roy stared at her. He could see it in her eyes, hear it in her voice. She meant every word. She understood both what he had said and what he had left unsaid. She didn't pity him, she didn't judge him. She accepted his past because hers was no better. Imperfect.
"Besides…" She leant back and began to stand up. "...you're only truly worthless when you're wet." She smirked at him as he grabbed his gloves and stood up as well, an offended look on his face.
"I can always let you walk from here to Gracia's." He threatened.
"At the speed you drive, I'd probably get there before you anyway." She retorted, grinning as they began to leave the café. They both knew why he was careful and they both knew he really wasn't that slow, but Edward had never let facts get in the way when insulting him.
"Was that a bet I heard? Are you so anxious to burden yourself with more of my paperwork?" he smirked as he unlocked the car door and held it open for her.
"I knew there was another reason I learnt how to forge your signature," she smirked back as she slipped into the car and pulled the door closed from his suddenly unresisting hand.
"You forged my signature?" He asked as he got into the car.
"Sure." She grinned at him. "But only on unimportant things."
"How unimportant, Edward?"
"Oh, you know, for late passes occasionally." He sighed.
"And at the Library for some of the restricted stuff." He groaned.
"And for my expenses."
Al and Jean exchanged another amused glance as first Winry and then Riza looked out the window as a car went past. Gracia and Elysia were due home in half an hour and Edward and Roy hadn't arrived yet either. An hour ago Riza had rung the dorms to send a reminder to Ed and had been told that the Lieutenant-Colonel had already left the building. She had then rung Roy's apartment and there had been no answer.
It had taken a mere look between Winry and herself to know that Edward and Roy were together somewhere without any actual facts to confirm that thought. Jean had pointed out that Roy rarely drove because of his eye, but Riza countered by saying that Roy had driven with Ed before. So what if it had only been from Gracia's to the dorms, but it proved the possibility of it occurring again. Al remarked that in that case they should be here already, Ed being unlikely to want to waste time driving around. Winry told him they could have gone to lunch first.
Al and Jean had laughed.
"What's so unlikely about that?" She had demanded.
"You know what Sis is like, Win." Al had smiled. "They might like each other, but Ed has absolutely no idea about this sort of thing. If they go to lunch, she'll just insult him all the time."
"You didn't have any idea either at first." Winry had pointed out and the look in her eye had told him that coming back with 'Neither did you' was probably not the way to go. Al and Jean had both decided that silence was the better part of valour at that point.
Another car and the heads moved again.
Pleased smiles lit their faces and Al and Jean sighed and walked across to join them at the window.
"They're here." Riza said smugly.
"They're arguing." Jean pointed out.
"What's going on?" Fuery asked as he came into the room with Breda behind him. "Are they here yet?"
"No, Kain. It's just the Boss and the Chief arguing."
The six of them stood in the window and watched.
"Come on, Roy. It was years ago!" Edward protested as they walked slowly up to the front door.
"It was still reckless, Edward! Do you know how much trouble it would have caused for you and for me?"
"I didn't do it for everything, idiot!" She put her hand on his arm to stop him for the moment. She stared at him. "I was careful and only used it when I had to. I know it was wrong, but would you have done differently if you'd been in my place?"
He stared back at her, his lips in a thin line. It wasn't so much the illegality that had him upset, it was more the thought that she had used him. They had used each other back then and they had both known it. You could accept being used if you knew about it, if you agreed to it. He hadn't known about this. He hadn't agreed to it.
"Every time I used it, I had to trust that if you, or anyone, ever did find out you would back it up and not betray me." She spoke seriously, the light-heartedness gone as his reaction was not what she had expected. It didn't seem that big a deal anymore. It had been six, seven years since she had last used it. And as she had told him, she had always been very careful. There had always been a frisson of fear every time she had used it on her expenses. Being able to use that little bit extra to get her hands on the books or rare papers that just couldn't be got through legitimate channels.
"I wouldn't have betrayed you but I would've burnt you to a cinder." He spoke firmly, but his face eased slightly. She nodded as she saw it.
"Now you know why I never told you about it." She grinned. "Oh and you have no idea how useful it was when Havoc used it to send love notes around Headquarters that time."
"What?" Roy stopped as he was about to start walking again. "You and Havoc were behind that?" His life had been made completely chaotic as notes had been received by every female in Eastern Headquarters, all purporting to come from him and professing undying love to the recipient. It had taken over a month before he could resume his usual dating habits without having one of those notes being waved in his face.
"Well Havoc was, I just helped." She smirked as she saw the anger rise in him. The good anger that she had always enjoyed inciting in him.
"And why do you feel the need to share this with me now?" He asked, knowing full well what she was doing and reaching for his self-control.
"Because they've been standing at the window this last five minutes watching us argue and I don't see why I should be the only one you're mad at." Edward smirked at him and he stepped closer with a sudden grin.
"Careful Edward, or they'll see more than just us arguing."
Author's Note: I have never had a chapter so beset by interruptions as this one. But finally it's completed…smiles... I hope your holidays were good and your new year has been all you wanted…
Thank you as always to everyone for the comments and the reviews. It always amazes me to see how much you enjoy this monster. It honestly does keep me going. Faleminderit shumë.
silken :)
