Well this is still my favourite chapter of my story. It was the chapter that shocked for a few reasons. This time however told through the eyes of Christian Grey. You will see never before seen parts where Ana is not with him and a deeper look into his life before Ana. I hope you all enjoy it.


What does she do to me? Christian's POV, Chapter 15

I open my eyes and as I awaken and I'm laying in bed. It's that time the same time I always wake up. The room is still dark and laying there I feel the warmth of her body against me. Turning to look at her, Ana looks so beautiful as her hair lays all over the pillow. I turn my body to face her and lean up on my arm staring down at her.

I reach out gently and brush some of her hair out of her face and she nuzzles into my hand. This would be perfect for a happy couple, yet I know deep down that is something we could never be. I will never be able to care for this woman in the way she wants and craves.

I pull my gaze away from her as I climb out of my bed and leave the room. Walking into the apartment I wonder what am I doing with this woman? She has made me feel things I have never felt before. There is such a strong connection towards her and I can't understand as to why.

I walk over to the grand piano and take a seat turning to face the keys. If only I could love, If only I had the chance. My fingers take to the keys and as if feeling my mood begin to spill the first notes of Beethoven's moonlight sonata. I slowly close my eyes and think of everything that has happened to me in my long life. One of the first memories that enters my mind is of the French revolution. A wonderful ball at a nobles mansion during the party I took to the piano after my friend got up to dance. I started to play this song with Grace watching me with joy in her eyes. Carrick smiling at her. Mia dancing in a beautiful long flowing purple dress with her boyfriend at the time Beethoven and Leliana watching from the sidelines.

I found it moving that Beethoven wrote a letter to Mia on his death bed titled Immortal beloved. Did she tell him? Or did he guess?

After a few chords all eyes were watching me as I played. Looking round at all those faces, less than a week later and almost every single one of those nobles were dead. I have suffered so much pain seeing my friends pass, seen so much death. If only it could stop. If only I could be truly happy. I try to stop but I can't and I feel a tear run down my skin.

As I play the last keys my mind just goes to think... when I feel her finger stroke my cheek. I didn't even know Ana was there as I open my eyes and see her leaning over the piano. She takes my tear and kisses it away as I see the white bed sheet wrapped round her. She truly is an angel, as I beg for her to save me from this pain with my eyes.

She answers my call as I turn to her and she drops the sheet and slides onto my lap. I feel her bare skin on my own as she pulls my hair back softly. I'm at her mercy as I look up at her. My hands holding her tightly never wanting her to go as she steals a series of kisses from me.

I feel her reach between us and pull me into her. I'm unable to stop her as I sink into her depths moaning out. She takes my voice from me and fills my mouth with her tongue as she moves up and down on my lap. I look at her in wonder. Does she really want this? I see her nod and I surrender to her.

She takes my head holding it against her breasts. A tender gesture that I have never had before. Ana somehow managing to comfort me, control and please all at once. I have never wanted another woman like I want her right now. Her control of me is drugging my senses and it feels wonderful.

I look up in her eyes it seems so intimate like nothing ever before it. I want her approval, I need it, I need her. I see the sweet and beautiful smile on her face, it's forever etched into my mind as I release my passion inside of her and see her release too. Words couldn't begin to describe what just happened and I embrace her in my arms under the moonlight.

I'm sat back laying with Ana on our own private beach just the two of us relaxing in the sun. Her stunning body covered only by her bikini as I wear a pair of shorts. I hear Ana gently calling out my name and I turn to face her as she leans in and places a tender kiss on my lips.

When I open my eyes I see my angel staring down at me with a beaming smile on her face. As I realize I was dreaming the whole time on the beach.

"Good morning beautiful." I say still slowly waking up.

I hear Ana wish me a good morning and tell me she has made breakfast. I look up at her to see her dressed in one of my shirts. I never thought of my shirts as sexy till I saw her in it. It stops at her upper thigh and I wonder if she has underwear on under it. That is when I see the tray in her hands. This can't be right.

I ask her the time as she puts the tray down and tells me it's after nine. I have never slept in past my alarm ever. She makes a comment about her wearing me out. I can't help but smile at the thought of this morning.

"That was amazing." I tell her. It's never been like that before.

"What was you playing?" She asks me drawing my mind back to the song I played on the piano.

I tell her it was Beethoven's Moonlight sonata and that it's my favourite. I hold off telling her that I helped Beethoven compose it. Also that is wasn't originally called Moonlight sonata.

Ana tells me it's her favourite too due to it being mine. Tasting a piece of bacon it's so delicious. Looking up at her I know her next question before she even asks it. Why is the song so painful to me.

"That song makes me think of everything I have lost in my life." I reply back and before I can stop myself my mind thinks back to that night at the ball.

Mia twirling and dancing in the arms of Beethoven. I close the thought quickly when I see a little bit of jam on the edge of Ana's mouth. I take her lips in a deep kiss stealing the jam from the corner of her mouth with my tongue. As I break the kiss I then steal a bite of her toast before claiming her lips again in a passionate lip lock.

As we end the kiss Ana asks if I'm busy today. I can see it in her eyes she wants to stay and I want her too. Damn my plans with Mia. I realize I don't have long to eat and take Ana home before I'm due to meet up with her. I arrange to collect Ana this evening.

Eating the breakfast that Ana cooked for us tastes incredible. She is a wonderful cook and we managed to make good time dressing and returning to Ana's apartment. As I walk her to her door I get the feeling Ana is digging for information asking if Mia and I go shopping often. I tell her my reply and she offers to accompany me.

That's what she is after a chance to gossip with Mia. I quickly shut her down knowing just what this shopping trip is all about.

I stand next to Ana as she opens her door and I see a man stood inside of her apartment. I grab Ana's wrist ready to pull her behind me when the man turns and I see he is from the computer company. Damn it they never come when you want them too.

He just happened to be here now of all times. He calls to Ana explaining about setting up her new computer. I watch as Ana starts to panic and I go to reach for her when the computer guy interrupts informing Ana it's been paid for already. I turn away from looking at Ana trying to look innocent which simply can't work for me as he tells her I paid for it.

"I felt guilty for breaking your laptop." I say looking at the floor.

Seeing the look on Ana's face the guy makes a sharp exit leaving me with an annoyed Ana. I'm saved as Kate walks into the room chatting away to Ana.

"Well I guess the date went well last night. You can tell me all about it later. Right now I have to rush out. Christian would you mind walking me down." I hear Kate ask and nod in response.

I hear Ana ask about seeing me later and I tell her I'll come back after sorting Mia out. I move in placing a scorching kiss on Ana's lips as I want to hold her tightly. Feeling the presence of Kate waiting for me makes me break the kiss and I walk over and open the door to allow Kate out and then follow.

I wonder what this is about? Is Kate going to warn me not to hurt Ana or inquire as to how we are doing. It only takes Kate a few steps and then she is off talking.

"Christian as you know Ana was almost caught in the blast at the diner however thanks to you she's fine. I got in contact with her dad who had been worried sick and they have given him some leave to come and see her. I thought it would be a nice surprise and booked him into a hotel for him to stay a while. I'm sure it would make Ana's week." Kate says.

"That's a touching thought. I'm sure Ana will love it. Anything I can do to help?" I ask, as I have an idea.

"Well currently he is only in a standard hotel room I was wondering if..." Kate starts.

"Not to worry you give me the name of the hotel and I will have him upgraded to the penthouse suite by the time he arrives there." I say casually.

" It's the US Grant hotel. Thank you. Christian. I'm glad Ana found a nice guy like you." Kate says before walking off toward her car.

If only she knew the real me.

I race to meet Mia at the shopping mall. It's only when I pull up I see I'm ten minutes late. Quickly locking up my car I stride to the entrance. No sooner than I get inside.

"Your late." Mia calls over to me from her hiding spot by the doors.

"Sorry sis. I had to drop Ana off." I say to her as she walks over.

"If she stayed last night I'm surprised you turned up at all." Mia giggles as she links my arm and drags me into the nearest store.

Suddenly I'm surround by hundreds of dresses and look over to see Mia's eyes light up with glee. As she steam rolls into the shop grabbing at least six different dresses, examining them like how I exam a classic car before purchasing it.

At the counter Mia spins round when the female clerk rings it up at fourteen thousand dollars.

"Well card, Christian!" Mia calls out.

I stare in dumbfound amazement how Mia snaps an order to me like that. As I notice the two girls behind the counter staring at me. Mia pulls my card from my hand and turns to the two girls rolling her eyes.

The clerk takes the card from Mia and looks down at it for a moment.

"Oh my god! Your Christian Grey the famous magician. Can we have your picture?"

I pay for the dresses and get my picture taken with the girls before we leave.

I'm lead into two more stores as Mia browses the store and buys another five more outfits. The third store I try to take more of an interest. Knowing I would much prefer to see Ana in the clothes. I pull out four dresses I would like to see on Ana. Mia looks them over, putting one back she holds onto the other three.

"Not bad brother. There could be hope for you yet."

After that I'm manhandled by Mia into the next store. I freeze as soon as my eyes take the store in. There are thousands of bra's and underwear on display. There is not a single male anywhere in the store. I can only see two other female customers and three female staff.

The clerk by the door heads toward us and I can feel myself going red with embarrassment. She moves in close invading my personal space before coming to a stop.

"Can I assist you in any way?" The tall blonde asks while flicking her hair.

Mia steps innocently past me and starts looking through some of the bra's.

"Just browsing thanks." I reply hoping she will leave me alone.

"Let me know if you change your mind." She says before walking away.

"The powers of Christian Grey hold no bounds, do they?" Mia says casually.

"What does that mean?" I shoot her a reply.

"Wow Ana really has got you with blinkers on. Thinking of her are you?" Mia questions.

"Why would you say that?" I ask.

"Well for one your smirking and two that girl was fully flirting with you and you didn't even notice." Mia tells me.

I shake my head but Mia was right Ana had just slipped into my mind. As I recalled our date last night. Mia takes three pairs of underwear with matching bras. I'm so pleased I will be seeing her again later. I see Mia with the lingerie and a thought occurs to me.

"Wait a minute. How do you know Ana's size?" I ask her suddenly puzzled.

"You may have your magic skills but a woman has hers too." Mia says laughing at my confused look and heads deeper into the store. I follow her feeling like her butler.

We shop round for another two hours with Mia in charge of picking all the clothes and before I know it we have walked into a restaurant for dinner. Once they have taken our order Mia begins in with her questioning.

"So come on out with it?" Mia demands.

"Out with what?" I ask confused by her open question.

"You said you took Ana home earlier so clearly she stayed over last night then. How are you two doing?" Mia leans forward over the table.

"We are fine. We went on our first date last night." I reply.

"A first date Christian that is huge. The last time you went on a date was during the French revolution." Mia smiles clearly excited.

"Mia this is nothing to get worked up about." I say trying to calm her down.

"Christian you already told Ana that you have real magic. I don't think you realize how big this is. I know with the girls before you didn't have your powers but in over one hundred years you have only told our family and no one else about your magic." Mia explains to me.

"I didn't want to lie to her. I don't know with Ana it feels different." I offer.

"Christian Ana is different and she seems like a really nice girl. I don't know why your keeping things a secret from her. Like your chest illusion for instance. She is not shallow. Ana won't care about your scars."

"I know I already showed her." I reply and wished I hadn't.

"Jesus brother you really are taken with this girl. I was beginning to think after Leila you had become a monk. I was actually getting worried that you would never find anyone. You deserve to be happy to find someone to be happy with." Mia says to me.

"Mia we are not like most people. You know that it's best if we keep people at arms length." I try to tell her.

I just go to speak when I remember Kate asking about Ana's father to be upgraded at the hotel. I pull my phone out as the waiter brings our food and I quickly dial the hotel requesting that Mr Steele's room be upgraded to the penthouse suite. Mia watches me with interest the whole time. I finish the phone call after confirmation that it has been sorted out.

"Christian you are so smitten with her. Your already falling for her. " I look up at Mia surprised.

"Your looking into this to much. I'm not falling for her." I tell her.

Even my own words don't sound as convincing as I would like them too. If anyone would spot that it would be my sister. Mia smiles back at me.

"Brother you can't even hide it in your voice. Your falling in love with her aren't you?" Mia asks the question dead to my face.

If only Mia knew the reason I could never love Ana. It's not that I don't know how or that I don't want too, it's that it would be her death sentence. How could I ever love someone and condemn them in the same moment.

"I can't love Ana. I can never love Ana." I say softly.

"Never say never brother." Mia says to me smiling.

We both begin to eat and Mia manages to not bring it up again. She wants me to be happy but she doesn't know of the whole deal I made with Elena. Otherwise she would tell me to stay away from Ana. She would never forgive me if she knew the truth. I'm destined to be alone the thought makes me wonder what I'm doing with Ana in the first place.

The rest of the shopping trip Mia is excited grabbing more and more clothes to buy for Ana's wardrobe and I'm beginning to wonder if I'm mad for trying to have a normal life again. I'm buying her an entire wardrobe of clothes. Am I rushing this? We did only have our first date last night and I have already brought her place of work.

By the end of the shopping trip I have Taylor come and collect the clothes which completely fill the Bentley up. There will be even more to be delivered via a truck. Taylor brings the BMW M4 coupe round and takes the Bentley back to the apartment.

Getting Into the BMW I head straight for Ana's apartment not being able to focus on anything. Could Mia be right? Am I really falling for this woman? When I'm without her something feels wrong but I can't put my finger on what it is. It's been rare that I have felt like I needed someone before. Yet heading to her apartment I find myself both pleased and excited at the chance of seeing her again.

It's only when I pull up outside that I realize I'm still in the clothes from this morning. A quick flick of magic and I'm dressed in a different outfit. Glancing over I see Kate's car that and Ana's beat up old Buick. I really need to get her a new car. She can't run round in that death trap. What would happen if she was hurt?

I stop the thought and freeze grabbing the door handle. The thought of her being hurt causes me pain. It's only now do I begin to see the warning signs before me. Opening the door I focus my mind as long as Ana is not falling for me it will only end up with me getting hurt.

I head round quickly to her door and knock before my thoughts overwhelm me. When she opens the door stood there like a vision I can't help myself and slip against her body. My eyes focused on her lips as my own close over them.

Nothing else and no one else matters at all just the two of us. It's only when I pull back and can see Ana's flushed cheeks do I notice the other two people in the room with Kate sat on the sofa and a man right next to us.

"So you must be Christian Grey. Pleased to meet you." The man offers and I instantly know it's Ana's father.

"It's a pleasure to meet Ana's father. You raised a wonderful woman."I tell him.

Just then he thanks me for saving Ana's life and I almost freeze up wondering if Ana's explained how I did it. A quick glance at her tells me she has not told her father the whole story. I tell him I was merely lucky that's all.

Turning to face Ana I can see how much she wants me and I feel the same pull towards her. This is a sort of need I haven't felt before as I struggle to understand it. I hear Ana's father talk and then he calls us love birds. My whole body goes stiff as I think I have heard him wrong.

He has only just met me has only seen me once with his daughter and he called us that. What has Ana been saying? Then I hear Kate call us lovers. I can't move. Is that what they see us as? Kate and her Ana's father see us both as lovers? Even Mia said I was falling for her.

I barely feel Ana take my hand as I see her looking into my eyes as if searching for something. Could she be searching for love? Does she think the time at the piano was me making love to her? It can't be, she can't think that. I see her lean in to kiss her lovers lips. No!

I jerk back away from her almost as if shocked by her touch and my arm crashes into a lamp. It smashes on the floor and the noise seems to knock me out of my shock.

I hear her ask what's wrong? How can she not see it? I'm damaged, I'm toxic. I'm only ever witness to pain and suffering and now I have dragged her into this.

"I have to end this." I say as I feel like I'm pleading with my own mind.

I her the shock in her reply as I carry on.

"We can't be together." I tell her. Why did I even do this? I thought I was smarter than that?

She asks for an explanation and I know I could never give her one she could be satisfied with. I try to get a grip on my voice and sound determined.

She tells me I can't leave her but I know I have to. If she ever wants to have a normal life I can be no part of it. I try to say that but I only say that I have too.

"What about everything we have shared together. I can't be without you. You mean to much to me to lose you. Please." As she speaks those words I know then I have hurt her.

I want nothing more than to take her in my arms and ease her pain away. I can't be the monster to caught her this pain. What type of person would do this to a innocent angel like her?

As she cries she rushes into my arms and I embrace her. My own will slipping away as I breathe in the scent of her hair and hold her warm body to me tightly wanting this embrace to last forever.

This is not fair for Ana, she deserves a normal life and one without me in it. I need to take her pain away. I have to take her pain away.

"It will all be ok. It will all be ok." I tell her to let her know she will be safe.

When she looks up at me with those beautiful blue eyes as her tears slowly start to dry I know her pain will go. I run my hand down the side of her face.

"You will be ok." I mutter as I hate myself for the thoughts I just erased.

Ana falls into a deep sleep in my arms and I lift her effortlessly onto the sofa. I place the throw on the sofa over her and start to step back out of her apartment. It's only as I get near the door do I see the laptop on the table. I wipe the picture of us in the background and shut down the laptop.

With one last look at the peaceful and sleeping face of Ana I know I will never forget her face. Shutting the door I think to myself she will be ok and not remember me at all. It's only when I get into my car do I realize that the pain will never leave me. I have cut her out of my life and the pain makes me break down crying in my car.


This was the chapter that caused me to cry when I wrote it and reading it out again it still causes me pain. From such beauty of the Moonlight sonata through Ana's eyes to such pain in Christian's eyes.

This chapter also allows you to see a little more of the playful nature between Christian and his sister Mia. Also all his thoughts and feelings that drove him to the point of erasing Ana's memories of him. Alot of people seemed quite annoyed or even angry at that but knowing Christian's thoughts and knowing what he was fighting against might make you see why he wanted to do it.

I do find writing these chapters really enjoyable. So please do go to my poll and vote for the chapters you would like to see through Christian's eyes in part 2. I had so many readers wanting to know just what happened on the boat with Leila while Ana was searching for Christian and not to mention the day Christian went missing to ask Ray for Ana's hand in marriage and yet I have only had five people vote on the chapters. So please go and vote, the link is on my profile page.

Also I have another story. It's fully written but I'm only putting it on a chapter at a time. For any CSI fans who read my story. It's a story I wrote over eight years ago and it's in two parts. You will need to forgive my writing style as it's wrote like watching an episode. It's called CSI: Own Risk. Please feel free to go over and have a look at it. Thank you.

Now with regards to reading this chapters do you find you reread the chapter through Ana's eyes after reading Christian's version of the chapter? I'm just curious that's all. Please, Please remember to review and as always follow and favourite my story. (I feel like a parrot at times.) Thank you. SJamesW.