38 minutes
2 brothers
447 words
Dr. Charles Eppes, tenured professor of applied mathematics at the California Institute of Science, past winner of the Milton Prize and world renowned for his Eppes Convergence, sighed as he read the notice for the third time.
"What's wrong, Chuck?" Don asked, with the annoying tone reserved for brothers. "Is that from the IRS?"
Charlie rolled his eyes at his brother. "You should know. You dig through my mail every time you walk through that door."
Don chuckled. "What's wrong? You being audited?" He saw his brother's scowl, and his jaw dropped. "You are! You're being audited! What'd you do, forget to carry the one?"
"They're contesting my business expense deductions. I've got to bring my documentation down to the office next Tuesday."
Don finally grew serious. "What expenses? It's got to be a mistake. Your records are always perfect."
Charlie flipped the pages until he found the details. His face grew red and he reluctantly met Don's eyes. "Remember when we were investigating that card counting scheme?"
"Yeah..."
"And Amita and Larry and I went to the casino..."
"Yeah..."
"Well, the IRS doesn't believe my gambling losses are a deductible business expense."
Don laughed. "What?! You mean you actually lost? Every time we play, you clean my clock."
"Maybe you just suck. Did you ever think of that?" Charlie shoved the audit notice back into the envelope and tossed it into the fluted bowl.
"Wait," Don said, his brow furrowed in thought, "You didn't turn in any receipts from the casino with your bill for that case. You didn't want me to know you lost, did you?"
"Do you blame me? I knew you'd give me a blast of crap."
Don put his arm over Charlie's shoulders and turned him toward the kitchen. "That's what brothers are for. Come on, let's get you a beer or two or three. You need it."
Charlie grinned. "You might as well enjoy drinking my beer while you've got the chance. Once the IRS finishes their audit, I may have to switch to the store brand."
Don grimaced. "You wouldn't!"
"Not if a certain FBI agent can get me some documentation supporting my business expense deduction."
"I'll make you a deal. You keep stocking the good stuff and I won't charge you with offering a bribe to a federal agent."
Charlie reached into the refrigerator and handed Don a beer. "You don't charge me with offering a bribe and I won't tell the accountants the real reason Robin wasn't out of her hotel room by checkout time."
"Charlie!"
Charlie twisted the cap off of his own bottle of beer. "As a great man once said, 'That's what brothers are for.'"
