CHAPTER 29
Right so this isn't this way she thought as she power walked through the giant building. "Nope I have definitely seen this banner before." Clarke muttered as she peered up at the many banners and paintings across the vast corridor. Feeling annoyed that she had passed the same two guards multiple times and neither of them had offered any assistance. She march directly up to one of them and demanded to know where she could find the elevator. Both guards stood as still as statues and ignored her. She tutted and crossed her arms undeterred by their rudeness. "You are guards, I know full well you speak English." Puffing out her chest irate at their persistent ignorant behaviour she pulled out the rank card. "Do you know who I am?" she demanded. "I am Wanheda, the Commander of Death, you will tell me where I can find the elevator." She didn't shout, she attempted the low stern tone Lexa often used. She figured those with power rarely had to shout to get what they wanted. She didn't know if it was because she dropped her title or if it was indeed her tone, but the two guards slightly bowed their heads and one of them spoke. He gave her simple directions through a thick accent, he clearly didn't use her language very often. She chose to rise above their rudeness and thanked them, she thought it would bode well for her to start getting on with as many Grounders as possible.
She followed their directions and finally found the lift doors. She had seen the Commander's tower in the centre of Polis a few times from a distance before and wasn't surprised how easy it was to get lost in the giant building. The doors were opened for her and she entered, it was a strange thing being in an elevator that was powered solely by man. Of course the Grounders had never managed to regain electricity and power since the nuclear bombs had struck nearly a hundred years ago so they made do with what they had. She felt a little guilty that she was making several men hoist the giant contraption to bring her to the ground floor, perhaps next time she would use the stairs. The slow decent brought her to the guest quarters on the seventh floor, she hadn't been told which was hers so she headed to the largest room at the end of the corridor that she had been locked in before. Assuming the room was still hers she pushed open the heavy door and found the room almost exactly how she'd left it. The food that she had thrown on the floor had been picked up and a replacement had been left on the small table, she noticed the Grounder clothes still resided on the unslept in bed. As she stepped further into the room her throat tightened at the sight of a dagger discarded on the floor…Roan's dagger.
Completely ashamed Clarke thought back to the last time she had been in this very room, she had been with Lexa. Recalling all her emotions at the time she could feel tears springing to her eyes as the image of her holding the blade to Lexa's throat came to the for front of her mind. She had been so close to ending her life right there, spilling every drop of her unique blood as she tore through her carotid artery. If it had not been for Lexa dropping her guard the way she did and bared her soul to her in one look Clarke might have done it.
Before she realised it she was crying, her feelings for Lexa were so complicated it actually hurt. She had truly hated her, betrayed by her which forced her to do something unspeakable. But Clarke knew she couldn't carry this forever, the hatred would burn through her and eat away at what was left of her soul. Searching her feelings Clarke was aware that the old wounds were certainly not healed and she and Lexa had a long way to go before either of them could move passed it. However she knew that last night was real, what they felt for each other was nothing but raw. Clarke couldn't say it was love, but all she could think was how willing she would be to die for the woman she held so tightly last night just as she had almost done just days before.
Clarke picked up the dagger and placed it on the bed, she decided to keep it as a reminder of what could have been and what was now important. She shrugged off her dirty clothes and bathed quickly before putting on the simple clothes that had been left for her. She picked up the long leather coat that she hadn't paid much attention to before, it wasn't floor length but came down just below her bottom. It was thick and lined with some form of fur, it was fine work and the quality of the materials must have been expensive.
She smiled slightly as she brought the garment to her nose and breathed in the scent, she smiled when the familiar smell of Lexa came through. Was this her coat? Or was it something she had picked out for her? Not knowing the answer she tried it on and unsurprisingly it fit perfectly. Thrilled with her knew gift Clarke wanted to find Lexa and thank her but remembered her knew love interest had thirteen clans to lead and copious lands to ensure were safe.
Disappointed she fastened her coat and set to thinking about her own responsibilities, she had only been back a night but had almost forgot why she was there. She was the ambassador of her Clan and was instructed by the Commander herself to get word to her own people about the attack and find out as much information as possible. Clarke was concerned, they didn't know who was responsible and her people could be next, Arkadia had a small community in comparison to the other clans but they could hold their own she remembered. Especially with Raven on their side with access to rocket fuel. Regardless they needed warning she thought. She swept out of the room to find someone who could be trusted with her correspondence, the only person she could trust was Byron, Lexa's bodyguard. He would point her in the right direction however she had no idea where to look for him, she was sure he didn't follow Lexa's every move especially in her own home. As she walked aimlessly again through the tower she finally found the stairs, as she descended yet again her thoughts turned to Bellamy. It was still painful to think of his betrayal and how devoted to Pike he had been, she wondered if he had been caught yet but doubted it as she had heard nothing. She would enquire when she wrote to Kane.
Slightly out of puff by the time she reached the bottom she was quite pleased with herself for taking the stairs as opposed to the lift. The ground floor was the simplest floor to navigate she discovered, it was and open hall with very little in there to furnish it. The room was grand and boasted very high ceilings, guards stood round it for reasons she didn't know. Clarke headed for the main door determined to find someone to help her.
As she stepped out into the crisp air she was hit by a wave of relief. "Octavia!" she almost ran down the steps to greet the dark haired girl as she dismounted her horse. Smiling Octavia reached out for a hug "Looking like a true Grounder Clarke, who'd of thought." She laughed. Despite their differences the two girls were happy to see each other alive and well. "What the hell took you so long O? I was starting to worry! Where's Indra?" she asked when she didn't see the Trikru leader. Octavia roller eyes and waved and arm. "Long story to be honest, we thought we got a lead on who attacked us but it was a dead end. Indra stayed in Ton DC to follow up investigations there. Is there anywhere we can eat? I'm starving."
Neither of them knew where to go having never really been guests in Polis before. "We could head to the Market I suppose but to be honest O I have quite a bit to catch you up on and I don't think I should really say it out here." Octavia agreed and they headed up to Clarkes room where she could help herself to Clarke's untouched food. When they walked in Octavia didn't hide her shock. "Wow, no wonder why you jumped at the opportunity to come here Clarke."
"Shut up! You know why I am here. And to be honest I was surprised at your reaction when asked to come. For someone who allegedly hates Lexa you were the one to jump at the opportunity to come to Polis." Octavia scrunched her nose up and gave an immature gesture with her face. Biting into an apple she asked, "Speaking of, how is Lexa? She didn't look to peachy the last time I saw her." Clarke explained that the Commander was making a good recovery and made it back to the capital with no other problems. The two girls were in deep conversation for the next couple of hours as Clarke explained how some had betrayed Lexa, Pike's execution and other details of the ambassadors meeting last night. In spite of all the things they had to discuss Clarke left out her sleep over with the Commander the night before not being ready to discuss her feelings with anyone quite yet.
With it being winter it had begun to darken in her room, it couldn't have been passed five, but the fact that she and Lexa had remained in bed for the majority of the morning made the day disappear. Clarke began to worry turning her thoughts to Lexa, she had a trying day ahead of her today questioning the Desert Clan and she hoped she got the answers she needed. She didn't know when Lexa would want her to come to her room, she had asked her this morning if she would like to come by but she wasn't sure when she would be finished. Perhaps Lexa would come to her? Octavia had left to find herself a room leaving Clarke alone, annoyed that her second day as ambassador she had actually achieved nothing. She would send word to Arkadia tomorrow she thought.
Clarke sat idly for some time and couldn't bring herself to sit there any longer. She ran to the stairs and took two steps at a time, hoiking herself up towards Lexa's room as fast as she could. It didn't take long for her to abandon the two at a time run, and her ascent soon turned into a slow, exhausted weary trudge. Completely breathless Clarke now understood why Lexa had the elevator commissioned, the climb to the top of the tower was a killer.
When she finally made it to Lexa's private floor she was met by the two regular guards standing outside the Commander's chambers. "She isn't here Wanheda." One guard addressed her.
"Where is she?"
"She is dealing with urgent business." He answered curtly. Clarke narrowed her eyes knowing they were certainly not going to elaborate. "The Commander asked to see me this evening, we have matters to discuss regarding her new alliance with Skaikru." Fooling neither of them, they shared looks and opened the door for her. She entered the cool dark room and looked around the sad minimalistic space. Clarke realised there was no personality to the room, no sense that it might be some one's home. Lexa had been Commander since she was sixteen which meant she has lived here for six years and put no mark of her own on the place. This made Clarke's heart ache, sad at the thought that she had exsisted in such a dark metaphorical place she probably denied herself a real home. Putting her foot down Clarke reached for one of the many candles on the side and set about lighting them, Lexa clearly had a thing for candles and she wanted to make her personal space warm and inviting for the first time that she supposed had been years.
Once the room was a glow Clarke looked around a little more, careful not to snoop, she noticed Lexa's floor length coat was missing from the back of the chair and figured that she must have sent it for cleaning. But when Clarke then noticed her neatly stacked armour and sword were missing he heart dropped at the thought of Lexa in harms way.
