Author's Notes: Sorry for the delay in this chapter. I had a kind of lazy weekend after a crazy week of state tests. Fortunately, only 8 more school days remain and then summer is here. YEAH! I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint but it's the way that it seemed to come to me to do. Reviews are always appreciated.
Disclaimer: Still not mine.
Wrong Place, Wrong Time
Chapter 28
Pausing outside the apartment door before inserting his key into the lock, Danny glanced down at his bruised and bloodied hands. How would he ever be able to explain the wounds without telling her where he had been. It wasn't that he wanted to out and out lie to Lindsay but he also didn't want to upset her with the truth either. Maybe he would be lucky and she would be taking a nap and he could get to the bathroom and clean up the worst of the damning evidence before she saw him. But Stella would be there, and she probably wouldn't be napping.
"You're Danny, aren't you? The little Copper told me all about you. Come to extract your pound of flesh in revenge, have you?"
Danny shook his head to clear Atwood's voice from his head. Looking back, he didn't know what he had really been thinking when he'd called Marshall Davies earlier to ask for permission to see Atwood. He certainly hadn't been thinking as a cop but more like a retribution-seeking husband. He eased the door open and poked his head in before entering completely.
The TV was softly playing, some chick flick from the sound of it and he could hear Lindsay and Stella laughing in the living room. He gripped the bags he was holding tighter and stepped inside.
"That you Danny?" Lindsay called softly. "I was starting to get a little worried. Did the pharmacy have trouble with the prescription?"
"Nah, I just remembered when I finished that we were out of some of the essentials and did a grocery run as well. I have milk and eggs so I better get them in the fridge. I'll be there in a minute."
He hoped that it would satisfy both women until he had a chance to clean up a little. He really had picked up milk, eggs and a few other staples that had run low in the week that everything had been so crazy. He had known he would need some sort of excuse for the longer than necessary trip to the pharmacy. He put the groceries away quickly and then turned the faucet on cold and let the water run over his injured knuckles.
"You should really take better care of your wife you know. The next guy that puts his hands on her might not be as nice as I was. I just wish I had had more time to fully explore all her hidden assets. I bet you love tapping that every night, don't you? I figured her to be more of a screamer though. How about it? Do you make her scream when you do her?"
His whole body was trembling with rage with every memory of the time he'd spent in that hospital room. He almost felt dirty from being in close proximity to the murderer and Atwood had been restrained to the bed the entire time. How much worse it had to have been for Lindsay to spend a little over two days in his capture?
"Danny, what's wrong?" Lindsay crossed the kitchen, leaning heavily on the cane her father had made. Her expressive brown eyes were cloudy with a mixture of pain and confusion. She was at his side before he could even think to grab a towel to cover his hands. She drew in a sharp breath when she saw his busted knuckles. "Danny, what happened?"
Turning off the water, he dried his hands quickly before wrapping her in his arms holding her tightly, letting the feel of her body calm his rattled nerves. She didn't even know what happened and she was scared. He couldn't tell her the truth. "It's nothing, Babe. Don't worry about it."
She squirmed in his hold, pushing back so she could see his face. "Too late, I'm already worried. Your hands look awful. What did you do to them?"
"Every time you touch her and she pulls away, it'll be me that she's thinking of."
"Really, it's nothing. There was a little old woman in the parking lot of the grocery store. She had a flat tire and didn't know what to do. Triple A had told her it would be an hour before they could send someone to help her. You know me, I had to play hero and offer to change it for her. Damn jack probably had never been used; it was a real bitch to operate and I scraped up my knuckles trying to get the car jacked up so I could change the tire. What I get for trying to be superman, I guess." He felt like a royal asshole for lying to her.
She gave him a questioning look and then smiled, stretching up as much as she could before it hurt too much. He met her the rest of the way in a tender kiss. When she pulled back, she shook her head. "You are my superman, no trying involved. Let me get the Neosporin for those wounds. If that 'damn' jack hasn't been used before, it probably didn't have too much rust but you can't be too careful."
Danny stopped her before she made him feel even worse than he already felt. "Linds, stop. I'm okay and I can take care of it myself. You are suppose to be on bed rest. Go back to the couch and finish watching your movie with Stella. You need one of your pain pills first?"
She nodded but looked like she wanted to protest. Instead she obediently turned to the counter where her prescription bag was sitting and opened the bottle. By the time she had a pill in her hand, Danny had retrieved a bottle of water from the fridge for her. After she had swallowed the little white pill, she gave him another questioning look. "You sure you're okay? You seem a little jumpy."
He sighed. "I'm fine. I just hated to be gone so long. Before you protest, I know you were fine and didn't even need Stella keeping you company but hate it all you want, it's going to take me some time to feel okay letting you out of my sight. I'm damn lucky that you are able to stand here worrying about my stupid knuckles and it's just something I've got to wrap my own mind around."
"Too bad I wasn't able to finish the job like I wanted to. Maybe I'll get lucky and get a third chance."
Lindsay leaned into him once more. "I know, Danny. I'm sorry I gave you a hard time earlier about not needing a babysitter. I know this has been just as tough on you and Lucy. It's not all about me and my feelings. I'll try to be more sensitive to your feelings as well."
Tears filled his eyes as she just unknowingly rubbed more and more salt in his wounds of deceit. He kissed the top of her head, wanting to pull away and confess everything that had happened; tell her what had really happened to his hands. "Not just as tough. Nothing Lucy and I experienced holds a candle to what you went through. Yeah it was tough but in a different way. Don't minimize what happened to you. I'm a big boy; I can take care of my feelings."
Lindsay pulled away again knowing she had stood on her sore hip for as long as she could. "It's over now. He's in custody and neither one of us has to see or think about him again until this all goes to trial. I'll be a good girl and go back to the couch, but if you need me or Stella to help you bandage those knuckles, let us know."
Danny promised and watched her return to the living room. He slumped against the counter. Normally, there would have been no way he would have gotten away with lying to her. She knew him all to well. The fact that she bought his story so convincingly told him just how far off her usual game she was. Though he was glad to have dodged the bullet, it made him feel all the worse for having told the lie to start with.
He had not gone into that hospital room intending to hurt Atwood. As Lindsay had just said, he was in custody and couldn't hurt them any more. That hadn't stopped him from wanting to confront the bastard and let him know that no matter what he had done, he hadn't won. He had expected to go into that hospital room and rip into Atwood and leave feeling better for having had his say. He hadn't counted on Atwood quickly taking control of the conversation. Every word the bastard said had raised Danny's blood pressure until he wasn't sure who was leading the conversation anymore.
Before he knew what he was doing, he had Atwood by the hospital gown with one hand and with the other his fist cocked back ready to smash into the arrogant murderer's face. A vein was visibly throbbing at his temple as he remembered his own words to Atwood.
"You really think you are somethin' don't you? You tried your best and it wasn't good enough. Yeah, you might have hurt her but she's a survivor and she's going to be just fine. Before you go to trial this will all be some distant memory to her and it'll be like it never happened. But every moment you spend in jail, you'll be looking over your shoulder hoping the guards don't decide to turn their backs on a cop rapist and a cop killer just at the moment some other lowlife scum pulls out a shank and guts you the way you did one of your hostages. But don't worry. You won't have to spend too much time in prison before you end up with a needle in your arm courtesy of Uncle Sam and then you won't be able to hurt anyone ever again. Say hello to your son when you get to hell. I'm sure he's already there waitin' on you."
"Daddy, can I have a snack? My stomach's all grumbling now that its been so long since those pancakes Unc'a Adam brung me." Lucy skipped into the kitchen. She paused when she saw the condition of his hands. "Oh, Daddy, you hurted your hands again. I kiss-it-make-it-better?" Before he could answer, she planted innocent kisses over each of his knuckles. The sweet gesture was more than he could stand and he sank to his knees and began to sob. Scared at seeing her normally strong father breaking down, Lucy ran to the living room to the one person she knew could help.
"Mommy, Daddy's crying. I sorry. I just wanted to make his ouchies feel better." Huge tears filled her own eyes at the perceived guilt of hurting her father. Lindsay gathered her close to hug her, looking over at Stella. Their curly haired friend started to rise but Lindsay shook her head.
"Lucy, let me take care of Daddy. You didn't do anything wrong. You know how you thought it was strange when Mommy started crying about Daddy brining me the cane? Well, Daddy's just a little emotional now because he's so glad that Mommy is home and safe. It's going to be okay. Why don't you show Aunt Stella your bedroom. I don't think she's seen it since Daddy hung those stars and clouds on your ceiling." Lindsay silently pleaded with her friend to take Lucy into the other room while she discovered what was really wrong with Danny.
Stella nodded and allowed Lucy to lead her down the hall to the bedroom. On the way she saw Danny sobbing as if his life was over in the kitchen and knew something more had happened than just playing the Good Samaritan. Once in the little girl's bedroom, Stella closed the door so they wouldn't hear what was happening in the kitchen.
Lindsay struggled back to her feet and returned to the kitchen. Her heart broke at the sight of her husband crumpled on the floor in sobs. Getting down on the floor beside him reminded her of how awkward it had been getting up and down when she was over eight months pregnant with Lucy. It would have been a little funny if she wasn't hurting so much and if Danny hadn't dissolved into an emotional mess in front of her. Finally she had her arms wrapped around him; this time she was the comforter and he was the comfortee. She didn't say a word but simply held him until the emotional outburst had ended. After what seemed to be hours but was probably only about ten minutes, he pulled away, kissing her gently.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have lost it like that. I bet I scared Lucy."
"Lucy is fine and you are more than entitled to 'lose' it every now and then. God knows I've lost it quite a few times in the last few days." She assured him. "She's showing Stella her bedroom and with all the toys she has in there, we may never see Stella again. Now, let's start this over. You didn't get those wounds helping a little old woman change her tire. You went to see Atwood. Did you do that damage to your hands at the expense of his face? Should I be expecting a visitor showing up soon with a warrant?"
Danny stared at her in amazement. "How did you know I went to see Atwood? I didn't tell anyone where I was going."
Lindsay sighed. "I didn't know for sure until you just confirmed it. It was only a suspicion. Oh, Danny, why? Hasn't he caused us enough trouble?"
Danny wiped his eyes on his sleeve. "I don't know. Something in the Y chromosome that told me that I had to grunt and beat a club over the head of the man that hurt my wife maybe. I've watched how much this whole thing has hurt you and there's not a damn thing I can do to make this better or easier on you. Flack made a comment yesterday at the hospital that Atwood was the only one not blaming himself for all that's happened and, I don't know, I guess I wanted to make sure he took the blame. I wanted him to know that as bad as he thought he was, he hadn't won in the end. That you were going to be okay. I swear to you I went there to beat him up with my words not my fists."
"And then his mouth got in the way." Lindsay guessed. She thought of the many different things he had said to her both during her captivity and the day before in the courthouse bathroom. It didn't take much to realize he could probably say all the right things to push Danny's buttons. Especially if he was still trying to engineer his own death or another escape. She reached up to caress her husband's face lovingly. "Danny, I won't lie to you. He hurt me a lot. More than I've been able to express in words but I've got you and Lucy and friends who love me enough that you are all going to make sure I'm okay. Tonight you and I will both fall asleep in our bed together with your arms wrapped around me. Maybe I have nightmares about what happened but even if I do you will be there to hold me and comfort me. The same will be true night after night until there are no more nightmares and all there is just you holding and loving me through the night. What does he have? A stint in prison that will probably leave him wishing each night for death and maybe even a date with a lethal injection. Who will be there to mourn his death? No one."
"That's what I wanted to tell him. I don't even know what he said that finally made me snap. All of a sudden all I could see was red and my fist was cocked ready to smash in his face." Danny went on to relate exactly what he'd told Atwood. Then he sighed. "Something flashed in his eyes when I mentioned the guards turning their backs while he was being shanked. It was fear. The same kind of fear I've seen in your eyes since that day in the warehouse. It wasn't a fear of what could happen but a remembered fear of what had happened. Then just as quickly as the fear was there it was gone again, replaced with this cocky grin that screamed for me to bring it on. Then he went right back to taunting me."
"Go ahead. Copper didn't have the balls to pull the trigger. What about you, Danny? I raped your wife and given half the chance I'd rape her again and again until there was nothing left but a bloody mess and then just for good measure I'd wring her pretty little neck until there wasn't an ounce of life left in her. Knowing that, can you live with the fact that I'm still alive and imagining all the kinds of hell I could put her through? Can you stomach the idea that I'm out there getting hard every night remembering the feel of my fingers plunging in and out of her hot little body? Who knows, maybe I'll even get a defense attorney who's good enough to get me off without so much as a slap on the wrist. How would you and the Copper sleep at night knowing I'm out there just biding my time until I could have her once again? Knowing that both of you had a chance to ensure that it could never happen but didn't have the guts to do it?
He couldn't stand to remember those words coming from his vile mouth, let alone repeat them for Lindsay to hear. She wrapped her arms around him again, giving him a moment to get lost in his thoughts. With Danny's head pressed to her chest, she whispered above his head. "How badly did you hurt him?" The question was asked without any recrimination or ire.
He drew in a shaky breath. "Before I could throw the first punch, Marshal Davies stopped me. Said he didn't blame me if I beat him to a bloody pulp but if I was going to do that, we'd have to make it look like Atwood was trying to escape. Said he'd back me the whole way. Damn it, Linds, so much of me wanted to do it. It would have been so easy. Atwood was practically begging me and I was basically being given carte blanche by a federal marshal to do it. But when it came down to it, I'm a cop and I took an oath to serve and protect not to go vigilante just because I could do it, even if the asshole deserved it. I thought about how strong you were to not take that route even when you have a valid reason for killing him. Maybe I could have gotten away with it but deep down I would know what I'd done and I wouldn't be able to look at myself in the mirror. I wouldn't be able to be the husband you need and deserve and I couldn't be the father Lucy could be proud of. So I released him. Let go of him without another word and turned and left the hospital room without so much as a glance back at him."
Lindsay let out the breath she didn't realize she'd been holding. She was glad to hear that he hadn't hit Atwood, not for that monster's sake but for his own. No matter how good or right it might have felt in the moment, he would have regretted it later, even if there were no legal repercussions from it. That was the difference between them and Atwood. They still had a moral compass that was pointed firmly to what was right even if it did get a little shaky from time to time. Atwood's moral compass had stopped working from the moment that guard had made him his victim. Instead of trying to rise above the circumstances he had no control of, he'd chosen to remain a victim and live his life in search for new ways to hurt others.
"I'm proud of you, Danny. I know the hardest thing you could have done was walk away without so much as putting a scratch on him. One thing I don't understand, however, is if you didn't hit him, what happened to your hands?"
Danny's ears turned pink from embarrassment. "I could let him go but I couldn't just let go of the anger. Let's just say there's a bathroom at University Hospital that's in major need of some spackling. I can't say for sure but they may even need to replace a stall door cause I think I might have pounded it off its hinges."
Perhaps it was still a little of the hysteria she'd been fighting since the day before or maybe it was the pain medication but the image of Danny going postal on the bathroom wall and stall door made her suddenly start giggling. He watched her in concern to make sure she wasn't about to go from laughing to sobbing faster than his Harley could go from 0 to 70. She shook her head, indicating she was okay. "Well," she quipped, "at least this time it wasn't a brick wall."
Danny's jaw dropped. "How did you know about that?"
Lindsay tilted her head up so she could give him a kiss. "Haven't you learned by now that I know everything?" She paused for a moment then admitted, "Flack told me the last night he stayed at the hospital all night. He wasn't ratting you out; I asked about why your hand was bandaged and he told me."
Relived that he had admitted the truth and didn't appear to have upset her too much, Danny cupped her face tenderly in his hands kissing her chastely at first and then with an increasing desperation to erase his earlier deception. When he pulled away, suddenly remembering that their daughter and friend was in the next room, he looked at her with a plea in his eyes. "I'm so sorry I lied to you earlier."
Lindsay shushed him. "You didn't lie to deceive me but to protect me. I can't fault you for doing the same thing to me that I did to you when I first denied I'd been raped. Just understand that I'm going to keep needing you to comfort me at times but I want to be able to do the same for you when you need it as well. That's part of what marriage is all about."
"I love you so much."
Smiling at him she snuggled back against him, in no hurry to move out of this current position. "I love you as well. Just promise me you'll do something for me."
"Anything." Danny promised.
"First thing tomorrow I want you to go to Modell's and buy yourself a punching bag. Your poor hands can't take you unleashing any more anger on walls."
Danny chuckled feeling better about the afternoon now that he was in his wife's arms. "Promise."
