Chapter Twenty nine

[Jade]

Outside it is dawn and the sky is pretty much dark orange with a tint of deep red. I look up at it and curse myself for running away. I hear how Tori invites Beck inside with a surprised and low voice. I turn around to see how Beck disappears into house and makes an attempt to close the door. But it doesn't close completely and I notice how I can hear through the almost closed door...

What is he doing here? Is he here because I just broke up with him?

Soon enough curiosity gets the better of me and I can't help myself. So I walk, as quietly as I can, back to the door to find out how much I am able to hear from their conversation.

Tori: "What are you doing here?"

Beck: "Jade just broke up with me… But I guess you already know that."

Tori: "Yeah, considering you just met her too."

Their voices sound dull behind the door and I feel surprised that Tori sounds a bit… a bit sarcastic.

Beck: "Yeah… what was she doing here?"

Please Tori, lie for me will you. Stupidly I pray for myself with tightly shut eyes.

Tori: "Just told me the same thing you just told me."

Thanks. Silence and I can hear how somebody moves inside. I move a bit closer to the door, still sitting on the edge of the low concrete wall that surrounds the flowers along the house wall.

Tori: "So you're here to tell me that she broke up with you?"

Silence.

Beck: "You two have gotten pretty close, haven't you?"

Tori: "Yeah…"

Beck: "I just wanted to ask you if you could talk to her..."

Tori: "So you want her back?"

Beck: "I sort of do."

Sort of? Sort of! Anger swells up inside of me. Is that all I mean to him? I hear how Tori struggles to find something to say. But what can she say…? I was the one who told her she could not speak about us. I'm the one who made her lie. But with every word I hear from their conversation the more convinced I become. I love Tori for sticking with me and I now know that what Beck and I had is long over.

Tori: "I'm not sure I can help you…"

Beck: "Why not?"

Tori: "It's complicated…"

Beck: "…okay…"

Okay? Is that it? Aren't you even gonna fight for me Beck? Didn't I mean anything to you? Wait, what the hell am I thinking? Well I guess I like a bit of drama after all.

Beck: "But please Tori, for a friend?"

Okay, I'll give him a pat on the back for the effort. Tori sounds out of words because I can hear her tight, pondering inhales. I hear how someone walks a short distance inside over the hardwood floor, a pair of rubber soles against the wood.

Beck: "Why not Tori?"

Beck sounds more and more demanding, threatening and persuasive. He uses that voice often when he wants something. That voice is very condescending… and it scares me a bit.

Tori: "…It's hard to explain…"

Beck: "Tori can you help me?"

His voice sounds even louder and more demanding. I'm scared for Tori behind the door and when I hear how Tori stutters I can't take it anymore. I burst in through the door. "No she can't!"

I find Beck, holding two patronizing hands on Tori's shoulders, and Tori, looking distressed. Both Beck and Tori look up as I slam the door shut behind me, both with different expressions. Beck looks surprised and taken aback while Tori just looks relieved.

"Jade? Have you been out there all along?" Beck takes a few steps away from Tori and turns to face me.

"Yes I have. And I'm sorry Tori can't help you. And I won't take you back even if you sort of want me to." I walk up to stand beside Tori, only a few inches in front of her with a feeling of wanting to protect her.

"Why did you stay? Do you want to protect your new best friend?" Beck asks with spite, obviously jealous.

"She's not!" I yell at him.

"Jade, you don't have to." Tori whispers behind me.

"What Jade?" Beck takes a threatening step towards me."Why have you been acting so weird, and why did you break up with me…? I need for you to explain that."

I know he thinks that he can use his charm to convince people and talk people into doing what he wants. But he doesn't know that right now he is more terrifying than God himself. Or maybe he do know… eh whatever! I look over my shoulder at Tori. She looks, dejected, back at me and I take it as though I am allowed to say whatever I feel like I need to say.

I take a deep breath. "It's because I'm with Tori now."

Beck raises his eyebrows "What, so she is the one who wanted you to break up with me?" He laughs a nervous laugh, not totally convinced. "Talking about a mean best pal."

"No, I was the one who wanted to break up with you!" In boiling anger over his incomprehension I scream "She's my fucking girlfriend!"

He laughs at me "No you're just saying that."

"No we're not…" Tori says slowly and takes my hand. I squeeze it to find comfort.

The fury I felt is now met with his fury "When were you going to tell me about this?! That you are a…lesbian!" The words find their way out his mouth and it looks like they taste bitter.

Well as bad as the word tasted for Beck it doesn't compare to how it scalds my auditory canal as he speaks it. But I'm not going to argue with him about the label even though it seems tempting. "I'm telling you now! It's fucking hard can't you understand that."

Beck looks around himself searching for answers to all of his questions, as though they creep around Tori's floor. "Okay… now I feel conned!" Beck swing with his harms around himself as if not knowing what to do with them before he inhales loudly through his nose and bites his lips while scratching his chin with unease.

"But this is how it is, what the fuck can you do about it?!" I bite back.

And I feel how Tori takes her free hand and places it calmly on my shoulder. She looks over my shoulder "You won't tell anyone just yet…" and directs the question towards Beck "… please?"

Beck looks at us with both sorrow and distaste in his dark mud-like eyes. He shakes his head in defeat "No I won't. But you should." And at that he turns around and exits through the door.

Slowly I turn to face Tori. In her brown eyes relief and shock still flows on the surface. She is on the verge of tears. That's kind of comprehensible actually when you think about how intense this was. Calm takes over me and the fury, I wore as I screamed at Beck, headwaters of me and spreads out on the floor without answers.

"I thought he would be more understanding. I actually thought he was a nice guy!" I laugh at the ceiling.

"He is Jade. He is a nice guy mi amor." She never speaks Spanish, I'm not even sure how much Spanish she knows… But she is half Latina after all. Tori walks up to me and I can feel her arms tighten around me. "He's just hurt."

"Do you know Spanish" I ask out of the blue.

"No I really don't. We never speak Spanish at home." She kisses my shoulder blade. "I just know the basics."

I hug her back. "Do you think he'll keep it to himself…?" Her fingers fit perfectly with mine and I bring her hand up to my mouth and kiss the soft skin of the back of her hand.

With a soft laugh she answers "Well I was certainly not the one who told him about us." I turn around and squeeze her around her ribs and she folds herself lightly and I soften my grip. "But I think so."

I take her face between my hands "I hope you're right." Then I kiss her sweet smile. "I'd better head home." The reason is on the other hand not for her to know. But I need to check up on my mum… I feel like a babysitter, for a grown up woman, for my own mum! How freaking crazy and unnatural doesn't that sound?

"Okay bye." I hear behind me.

I look up but time slows down as I see someone from the corners of my eyes. On top of the stair can I see a figure, most likely Trina, it's not that easy to see. But who else in the Vega-family would have a face in bright orange? She stands with a wide open mouth, a dark hole in the orange sun her face resembles.

Did she see us?

I hurry out to my car.


A/N: Now Beck knows. And perhaps Trina too…?