Don't put dirt on my grave just yet
Lenny cursed as she dropped the spoon she was using to make her coffee, it had been a shit morning after an even worse night and all she wanted was a cup of coffee to try and calm the horrific hangover she was being subjected to. But even that task was proving too difficult. Leaning over to the grab the kettle she swiped at the open jar of coffee and sent the contents across the counter and floor like confetti, it was enough to push Lenny over the edge and grabbing the empty mug in frustrating she launched it into the wall opposite screaming out in rage.
It was at that moment that Gemma decided to enter the communal kitchen, her gaze went from the coffee grinds scattered across the floor to the remnants of the over sized coffee mug before resting on Lenny who had taken to leaning back against the counter top gripping it with both hands as she tried deep breaths to try and calm her self.
"Morning, Darling. I'm guessing it's not a good one," Gemma bent to pick up what was left of the mug.
"Gemma, leave it! I'll get it," Lenny moved to grab at the shards but Gemma dismissed her with a glare before setting the mess into the bin.
" So, you wanna smash some more stuff up or are you ready to use your words?" Gemma crossed her arms over her chest with her lips pursed as Lenny slumped at the table, she decided to just ignore Gemma and laid her head on the cold steel table, welcoming the relief it have her headache.
Lenny didn't need to look up to know that Gemma has pulled the chair opposite and was probably looking at her with a sad pathetic face full of sympathy and it did nothing for the ball of fire in Lennys stomach that was growing.
"You drink enough to forget why you started drinking last night ?" Gemma asked softly as she took in Lenny's appearance, her skin was pale making the dark circles under her eyes seem worse. Her collar bone poked out from under the tank top and shirt Lenny had probably slept in, Gemma hadn't noticed until now just how Lenny's weight had changed, she was never a big girl but she had curves that she now lacked.
"Hardly," Lenny croaked lifting her head from the table to see the sympathetic face she was hoping to avoid.
"He really does Love you, Lenny," reaching for Lenny's hand Gemma smiled but Lenny ripped her hand away.
"No! I am not doing this, Gemma,"
"Jackson's just afraid, don't tell me your not too! He's never loved a girl like he loves you. Not Wendy, not Tara and no crow eater ever! He's been in love with you since you were kids for Christ's Sake!" Gemma could see the shock and fear in Lenny's tired blue eyes, the sparkle had gone out. " Guys don't ever forget how it feels to be in love with a girl like you, Lenny, they try. They think they can convince themselves it's just the same with any other girl but it never is. Jax has all the pressures of the Club, he's got Abel to worry about, he's spinning so many plates and you've got him shit scared that he's in love. And he's worried that his love for you could get you hurt,"
Shoving the chair away from the table Lenny ignored the throbbing in her head as the chair scrapped against the cold hard floor. She had enough of listening to Gemma try and justify Jax's actions. Why did every one jump to Jackson Tellers defence, he was guilty as sin yet Lenny nearly felt bad for thinking ill off him all night and morning. Nearly but not quite.
"Gemma, I know you have to defend Jax. He's your Son, you wouldn't be you if you didn't try and convince me he was a good guy. But the way he's able to just toss me aside like yesterdays meal makes me feel a little uneasy at best. And if that's Jax "loving" me, like you've said it is, then I'd rather be alone," turning away Lenny made a path for the clubhouse door.
"He wanted you to grow up in Charming," Gemma made a last attempt to get Lenny to stay, she knew she had the young brunettes attention when she stopped in her tracks and slowly turned to face the older women, "Ray, your Daddy, he wanted you and your Mom to live in Charming. He even joked with my John that you and Jackson would be together. " Gemma knew it was a low blow bringing the girls dead father in to it but every one knew Gemma Teller-Morrow would fight dirty. " He practically chose this life for you, don't turn your back on it, Lenny-Ray,"
Lenny narrowed her steely blue eyes at Gemma as she heard a door down the hallway open and a blonde with legs that. never ended came into view wearing a white t shirt that Lenny knew belonged to Jax, she began to shake her head before Jax stumbled out. He looked tired , like he had barely slept, his hair was all ruffled and his eyes were puffy and red from the alcohol. He stopped at the entrance to the kitchen, sensing he was interrupting a situation.
"Yeah, I'm sure this is the life my Daddy would have me living," Lenny snatched her keys up from the table, "He'd be more proud of me if I'd become a crack-whore, Gemma"
Lenny used all her strength to walk past Jax in his shirtless state leaving him, the blonde and Gemma alone in the clubhouse kitchen. The smell if tyres burning filled the room as they heard her truck pull out of the parking lot at some speed. The sound echoed through Jax's hung over head as he grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and rested it against his forehead welcoming the relief from the tension building there.
"Blondie, your sleepovers over. Get your stuff and get out," Gemma pursed her lips daring the tiny framed blonde to defy her, a thin smile graced her lips as she watched the girl turn to Jax for support and he shrugged in his usual boy like charm.
Mother and Son sat in silence as they watched the girl leave the clubhouse just as they had watched Lenny-Ray storm out.
"Come on then,"Jax started, "Lets get this over with so I can go sleep off this hang over," Jax stretched out as he yawned earning him a slap on the head from Gemma.
"What are you doing, Jackson?" Gemma sat opposite her son and grabbed his hands in her own her eyes pleading with him to be honest.
Lenny had packed up a few bits from her Uncle Bobby's after having a lecture about running away from her problems, her Uncle had been right in saying it was running away that had landed her in this shit storm situation but she wasn't ready to agree and discuss tactics in staying and surviving falling in love with Jackson Teller, she was however ready to drive until she ran out of gas and get a few days out of down time. It had been a whirlwind few months and now David was dead Lenny realised she hadn't really thought this far ahead, she been too worried and caught up in the Charming life style that anything beyond the chaos and drama of that was unknown right at this moment.
She knew along the way she had fallen hard for Jax, Lenny loved every inch of the man but she couldn't stand back and watch as he made a fool of her. She was a smart girl and knew to get out before hatred consumed her, she would rather be alone than be made a mockery of and hoped that in time her love would lessen. Or at least that she would become numb to it.
Driving straight along the highway Lenny relaxed as the cool Californian air crept in through the windows, the sun would soon be setting and Lenny would have to find a motel to stay in. Her thoughts were so consuming she barely had time to react when a bang went off in the engine causing her truck to swerve off road. Grinding to a halt she took a few seconds to catch her breath realising she was fine and just shaken up. She jumped out the truck to lift the hood and inspect the damage, the smoke bellowing out of the engine wasn't a good sign. Taking a look inside she could see she needed new pistons, she dialled for Bobby hoping he would send a prospect out with the parts she needed.
The phone call was quick, Bobby was pissed at her. He never said it but Lenny could hear it in his tone. It was a tone she remembered from her teenage years, when she would stumble back to his house after a night of underage partying with his brothers. Chucking the phone on the front seat Lenny climbed in and settled herself to wait for the half wit Bobby would send from Charming.
