Arithmancy
by: Faithful Wheezy
This chapter is dedicated to Darkwing731, my good friend and 200th reviewer.
Author's Note: I've gotten complaints about how I've made Bill and Charlie too much like Fred and George, and to them, I say: 1) I'm the author here, so I am in charge of how I want my characters to be and, 2) in this Harry Potter universe, Bill and Charlie were the original pranksters—Fred and George followed in their footsteps and starting acting like them by imitating the way they completed each other's sentences, and so on.
Now please, enjoy the final chapter of Arithmancy!
Disclaimer: See Chapter One.
Epilogue Twenty Nine: Soul mates, and, you reap what you sow
Bill waded out of the lake sullenly, adjusting his dragon fang earring. "Merlin, Neville, can't you control those feet of your—AARGH!" Bill flew forward as Dean, Seamus, and Charlie hurriedly threw the cloak back over him. "What was that for, Harry?" Bill asked, looking at Harry as he too threw the cloak over himself.
"They'll see us," Harry hissed. "You never know what might hap—"
"I LOVE HERMIONE JEAN GRANGER!" They heard Ron yell, as Hermione laughed.
"Er," Dean said, "the only thing they probably see is each other."
"That was still no reason to tackle me," Bill said sulkily as he rubbed his back, hitting Charlie multiple times with his elbow in the process. "Oh, sorry, brother."
Charlie doubled over, holding his stomach. "Don't mention it," he choked out.
Harry beckoned at the rest, ignoring Charlie's plight. "Come on," he said, "they're moving across the Grounds." Just as the Godfather Gang was taking their first awkward steps, they were interrupted by—
"Mgrmgphh—elp meeee—can'tphmrglub—swglurbleimmmm—!"
Harry looked at the lake, turned back around, did a double-take, and stopped in his tracks. "Bugger." Dean, Seamus, Neville, Bill, and Charlie all walked into him and fell flat on the ground. "Neville's still in the lake," Harry said. "And, er, I don't think he can swim…"
"Mph! 'elp meeee!"
With simultaneously rolling eyes, the Godfather Gang held the Invisibility Cloak more securely around themselves and struggled back to the bank of the lake.
"Darn you, Neville…"
-x-
Ron pulled Hermione closer to him, smiling happily. He was finally with the smartest, most beautiful girl in the world, and he loved her. What was more, he was finally able to show it.
"I LOVE HERMIONE JEAN GRANGER!" he yelled to the Grounds, throwing up both of his arms in triumph.
Hermione blushed and pulled him back to her. "Be quiet, we might get in trouble again," she said severely, although pleased. "We might be all right with Professor McGonagall, but with Snape—"
"Worried we'll get another detention, do you?" Ron said impishly, raising an eyebrow. "I dunno about you, but personally I wouldn't mind…"
"Yes, well, neither would I," Hermione said quickly, "but, you know, we are prefects, and—"
Ron gave an exaggerated gasp and covered his mouth in mock-horror. "You wouldn't actually mind getting a detention?" he asked. "You, the perfect little—"
Hermione mustered up her evilest glare and shot it towards her boyfriend. "Yes, I wouldn't mind getting detention… just as long as it isn't one that involves an axe. Because I'd be hauled off to Azkaban for using it on you, unless you stop teasing me this instant."
"Ah, but I know how to stop you," Ron said simply.
"Oh really?" Hermione asked, "How would you manage to do that?"
"Like this."
And once more, Ron leaned in and kissed Hermione. The night was cloudless and perfect, and they were reveling in the closeness of each other, when—
"AUGHH! GET AWAY FROM ME! WAIT UNTIL MY FATHER HEARS ABOUT THIS, THIS IS AGAINST—THIS IS AGAINST—THE LAWS OF NATURE!"
With an annoyed sigh, Ron and Hermione pulled away from each other reluctantly and looked around yet again—however, their search yielded rather amusing results: Draco Malfoy was streaking out of the castle with the agility of a ferret, with Cormac McLaggen trailing by a mere pace or two.
"Draco, I love you!" he yelled, willing his legs to go faster.
"GET AWAY, YOU IDIOT GRYFFINDOR!"
"I will never leave you, Drakey!"
Malfoy looked revolted. "Do not ever call me by Pansy's nickname for me, you understand?" He bellowed at McLaggen.
Ron looked at Hermione, struggling to keep the corners of his mouth down. "It looks like he's still operating on the Euphoric Jinx, doesn't it?" he said thoughtfully, watching Malfoy feverishly climb up a tree. "I don't understand why you used a Euphoric Jinx on him though, of all things… why'd you do it?"
"Well," Hermione said slowly, beginning to look embarrassed, "I just learned it. And it's pretty complex, and I wanted to see if, well… well it's a good thing I did!" she finished resolutely. "He wouldn't have taken the Amortentia if he was sane, would he? I mean, if he was sane, he would've ripped the bag right off my head."
"Well, that's true," Ron said, taking Hermione's hand and leading her around the lake, choosing to ignore wet footprints and what looked like the imprint of someone's rear end imbedded in the sandy bank. "But I still didn't enjoy knowing you two had to share his bloody bed."
FLASHBACK
McLaggen groaned and sat up abruptly, half causing Hermione's shoulders to rise with the motion. "Grnnn… hn?" he murmured sleepily, his head nodding dangerously.
"Cormac! Cormac! Wake up!" Hermione began to shake his shoulders. "We best get out, before…"
But the curtains on McLaggen's four-poster bed were pulled apart, and Hermione found herself facing three Seventh Year Boys, the names she did not know, her hands still on McLaggen's shoulders.
"Bugger," she exclaimed irately.
END FLASHBACK
Hermione shuddered. "Please don't remind me," she said. "Under normal circumstances, I would never share a bed with him, nor would I want to."
"How about me?" Ron said jokingly.
Moments later, Ron was rubbing his rather pink cheek, while Hermione stared at him, her hands on her hips. "Too early to joke about stuff like that?" he asked sheepishly.
"Quite," Hermione affirmed.
"But still," Ron carried on valiantly, "I'm glad to know you wouldn't share a bed with him."
"Good," Hermione said, taking his hand again. "Because there's only one guy in my heart, and that guy is definitely not him."
Ron smiled and held her hand more securely in his.
-x-
When the couple finally reached the Fat Lady, who was surveying them with a hint of a smile on her oil-paint based lips, they could hear yells and raucous cheering from inside. Hermione looked at Ron nervously. "What do you think happened?" she asked. "I can't imagine having to quiet that lot down, I don't think they'd even see us."
"Did we win a Quidditch game or something without us knowing?" Ron asked the Fat Lady.
"You'll see," said the portrait simply. "Password?"
"Fidelis amor," Hermione said.
The Fat Lady smiled and swung open slowly. "That you have," she said, waving them away and dabbing inconspicuously at her eyes with a mauve handkerchief. "That you have."
Ron looked dubiously at the back of the Fat Lady's portrait. "Er… what?"
But Hermione's answer was drowned out by what seemed to be a tidal wave of noise; willing hands pulled the couple into the Common Room, and the portrait shut as several voices yelled, "Finally!"
The Fat Lady chuckled and stowed her handkerchief away just as Sir Cadogan, whose Portrait had been recently set next to hers, strolled into her frame.
"The lass and lad are finally together, aye?" He asked.
"Finally," The Fat Lady smiled.
-x-
Amidst all the partying Gryffindors, the rather wet, disgruntled, and tired looking Bill managed to reach Ron and Hermione (throwing out a few humbled comments such as, "We got those two together, you know!" "Yes, yes, we did it… not easy work, but it had to be done…" into the crowd). "Ron, Hermione," Bill panted, "we still have an explanation to owe you."
"An explanation? Oh—thanks," Ron said to a little Third Year, who pressed a Firewhisky in his hands. "What sort of explanation?" he asked bemusedly, returning his attention to Bill, ignoring Hermione tutting at the drink in his hands ("Honestly, Ron, it's a school night!").
"Here, come over here," Charlie said, who seemed to have appeared from out of nowhere behind them. "We found a spot in the back of the Common Room under the stairs, we just need a few minutes."
Shrugging, Ron and Hermione followed Bill and Charlie to a space underneath the staircases, where the remaining members of the Godfather Gang and Ginny were, casually casting Heating Charms on a sopping wet Neville at intervals, whose backside appeared to be covered in sand.
"Ron, Hermione," Bill began seriously, "remember when we told you that you were hearing each other's thoughts for real?"
"Yeah…" Ron said slowly, as Hermione nodded.
"What about it?" she asked apprehensively. "It's not dangerous, is it?"
Charlie laughed. "We're not Fred and George, although they do kind of take after us, don't you think? The thing that sets Bill and me apart from those twins is we're relatively safe people."
"Except for Plan S, honestly, Charlie…"
"Well, I was beginning to think those two would never separate, okay?"
"Yes, well," Ron interrupted, ruffling his hair in confusion, "what about the Mind Sharing thing? What about it?"
Bill was silent for a moment, evidently choosing what he was going to say. "You two were lucky that it worked at all," he said finally, as Charlie nodded solemnly beside him. "First of all, let me tell you that you don't have to hear each other's thoughts forever. That might kind of take the mystery out it all, wouldn't it? Anyway, you can control that."
"Good," Hermione laughed, as Ron rolled his eyes.
"Anyway, I don't know if we've told you, but to do this piece of magic, we took a small smidgen of each of your souls and put it in each other."
"So—we're like Horcruxes of each other?" Ron asked, horrified.
"You said it wasn't dangerous!" Hermione said, her voice rising an octave.
Charlie, alarmed, waved his hands wildly in assurance. "No, no—we've heard about those filthy things—no, if I'm not mistaken, to make a Horcrux you have to kill something and encase something yourself. Firstly, we never killed anything, and secondly, we did the encasing for you. Plus, if a wizard makes a Horcrux, part of his soul is gone."
"And in your case," Bill added, "your souls are full, because it is completed with a piece of each other. You're not missing anything. You two won't be immortal at all. We've researched everything, if we did anything dangerous Mum would have a fit—"
"Furthermore," Charlie added, "this whole thing wouldn't have worked if your souls weren't compatible. And this means that you two have always been…"
"Soul mates," the Godfather Gang and Ginny said simultaneously.
Hermione looked at Bill, Charlie, and then back to Bill uncertainly. "S-soul mates?" she felt her hands close convulsively around Ron's, who squeezed back reassuringly.
"That's the only thing it means," Bill said, grinning. "Only one thing left to say to you—congratulations!" and with that, the eldest Weasley brother grabbed Hermione's hand and pumped it, while Charlie was shaking Ron's hand energetically.
Harry, Dean, Seamus, and Neville lined up behind the Weasley brothers to shake their friends' hands as well (although Neville slipped and fell a couple times on the way).
"Now who wants some drinks?" Dean said, already on his way to a table laden with punch bowls and bottles of Firewhisky and butterbeer. Ron, having finished his bottle already, followed the Godfather Gang out to the table eagerly, when Hermione's hand stopped him.
"Butterbeer only," she said severely. "We're still prefects."
"But—"
"Ron?"
"But—"
Hermione glared at him severely.
"All right…"
-x-
When the noise of their friends and fellow Gryffindors finally died down with the last few embers in the fireplace, Ron and Hermione were still on the couch closest to it, Hermione's head on Ron's shoulder. "I can't believe we took this long," Hermione laughed.
"At least we're together now," Ron said, kissing her forehead. "I wish we've done this earlier though…"
"But at least we're together now," Hermione said, echoing her boyfriend's words. "I'm really glad."
Hermione nestled deeper into his shoulder and closed her eyes. I love you, she heard a voice say. Recognizing it as Ron's, she smiled and thought, I love you too.
After a few moments, Hermione leaped off the couch. "It's late!" she said worriedly, pressing her hands to the side of her face in horror. "I'll never be able to get up in the morning!"
Ron laughed. "I guess we'd better go up then—er, to our separate beds—er, separate dormitories…" his voice trailed off awkwardly. Laughing at Hermione's scandalized face, he gave her a quick, innocent kiss and headed off to the Boys' Dormitory stairs. "Just kidding," he called over his shoulder, giving Hermione at lopsided grin.
Hermione couldn't resist the grin.
After having an internal conflict with herself briefly, she ran over to Ron and kissed him.
When Ron finally began walking up the stairs half a minute after Hermione hastily ran up hers, he laughed fondly. I love you, he thought again.
I love you too. Now goodnight!
-x-
Hermione was still yawning as she walked into Potions class, darting in right before the late bell sounded. However, to her pleasant surprise, she found Snape was not yet in the dungeons, and took a seat beside Ron, behind Harry and Neville, and in front of Dean and Seamus. Remember what I thought to you earlier? Hermione thought, looking at Ron and fingering her wand.
Yeah, she heard Ron think, that slimy bugger will never know what hit him. Don't forget, it's nonverbal.
Yes, yes, Ronald, I know.
At that moment, the door to the dungeons was slammed open unceremoniously, and Snape strode inside, hastily pocketing what appeared to be another bag of money. Not apologizing for his lateness, as he was Severus Snape, and Severus Snape is very rude, he adjusted his robes and slapped the blackboard with his wand. "The Essence of Insan—" he began, however, Hermione had subtly pointed her wand at Snape—
Immundagrito!
The results were instantaneous. All of a sudden, the dank dungeon was echoing with pained, torturous screams—and they seemed to be emitting from Snape's head. Horrified with the noise, students looked around wildly and hid behind cauldrons, some toppling off their stands. The Slytherins, who were taking potions with the Gryffindors that day, were largely hit with many cauldrons, to the Gryffindors' delight, as Snape stood at the front of the classroom by himself, stumbling around and clutching his forehead.
Seccatura! Ron thought fiercely, aiming at Snape. Instantly, pieces of chalk leapt off the blackboard and bounced off of Snape, making sounds that sounded suspiciously like "Bother!" as they hopped merrily about him.
"What in Merlin's—" he snarled, dropping his wand as another piece of chalk belted him in the forehead.
At that moment, the dungeon door opened, and Filch poked his head in. "Professor Snape sir, I was wondering if I could have another cauldron of—" but a cauldron barreled straight towards him, and Filch gave an agonizing screech and ran away, rather like an old man trying to run to the bathroom.
Snape followed Filch out of the room, just as another cauldron caught him squarely in the derriere, and he flew out of the dungeon, cursing, his hair yelling loudly all the way.
"That's what you get for giving us that detention!" Ron yelled after him, knowing that the screeches and echoing would drown out his voice.
Once everything had quieted down, Harry, Neville, Dean, and Seamus faced Ron and Hermione, grinning appreciatively. "You two did it, didn't you?" Neville said, an awestruck grin spreading across his face.
"That was bloody brilliant," Seamus whispered, looking awed himself.
As Hermione eyed the Slytherin side of the dungeons, picking themselves and their cauldrons up off the floor she folded her arms. "Well, Snape ought to wash his hair more often," she said stoutly.
Again, the door swung open, however, McGonagall was standing at the entrance, immediately picking Hermione and Ron out. "No one but you would be able to perform such a spell," she said to Hermione severely. "What was that, a Howling Hex?"
"No," Hermione said, looking down, "It's a spell that… that makes something scream when it gets too dirty," she said reluctantly, "and a nuisance spell."
Professor McGonagall shook her head and said loudly, "I am very disappointed in you both," she said. However, she lowered her voice and bent over. "As I said, I can't let people think I favor anybody, because characteristically, I do not. But I have to say, I'm glad you two finally made Severus reap what he sows! It was about time he learned his lesson."
Ron and Hermione grinned at each other.
"Well, has any more damage been done in here?" the professor asked, pacing around the dungeon critically.
The Gryffindors shook their heads no, as the Slytherins, particularly Malfoy, glared across the aisle at them, massaging bruised limbs and peering at their cracked cauldrons.
"Well, if that's all…" McGonagall said, she walked towards the door, and Harry, Dean, Seamus, Neville, Ron, and Hermione could have all sworn they heard her say, "He really needs to wash his hair more, honestly," as she sweeped out of the dungeons.
finite incantatem demum
