Chapter Nine: The Draught of Dreamless Sleep

"Hey Marly, catch."

Emmeline had walked into the hospital room and thrown a small object at Marlene. Marlene caught it clumsily and looked down in her hands to see a box of chocolate frogs.

"Oh yum," she said excitedly, "I haven't had sugar in forever."

Emmeline was wearing her Healer's uniform which was just simple and white much like the rest of the building. She had been discharged after a little more than a week of rooming with Marlene and it was her first shift back in training. She had promised to visit over the lunch break and true to her word she hadn't come empty handed.

"I know the food here is pretty drab," she smiled, "it's nothing compared to the feasts they spoil you with at Hogwarts."

"It's not too bad," Marlene lied. She wasted no time ripping open the box and devouring the chocolate.

"It looks like you could use a few of those," Emmeline was eyeing her wearily. This was nothing new to Marlene; she was fairly used to the comments about her petite frame.

"Yeah well, if you want to load me up on a stock of candy I won't complain."

"So have they given any good news since my departure yesterday?" Emmeline ignored the comment and looked hopeful. Marlene was sure that her new friend was eager for her healthy recovery, but she couldn't help but think that she was more excited to find out whether or not her suggested hybrid potion had worked or not.

"Not yet," Marlene said in between mouthfuls of her treat, "Patrick hasn't been in yet today to check."

After Patrick had tried another failed dose of Essence of Dittany and Murtlap Essence, which were potions meant to grow skin over abrasions and heal cuts and bruises, Emmeline had suggested a mixed version of the two along with some other herbal plants Marlene had never heard of. After she had been discharged the day prior she had disappeared with Patrick to help design the new potion. It appeared that Emmeline's best class had been Potions when she attended Hogwarts and knew a few tricks or two that could possibly put Lily or Snape to shame.

"Ah well I suppose I'm being ambitious anyways, it'll probably take more than a day to see any change."

"I don't know how much more of this I can take," Marlene mumbled bitterly. "I'm going to fail my N.E.W.T.s if I don't get back to class soon."

School wasn't quite the true reason for her misery though but she wasn't prepared to admit this to her new friend. Her first night alone after spending an entire week with Emmeline had been extremely lonely and she had had nobody to preoccupy her wandering mind from her thoughts of Sirius and of the many other feelings of sadness that came from isolation. After spending a month in the infirmary, unconscious or not, she was starting to really feel the toll of her separation from the outside world and unwelcome nightmares she hadn't experienced in awhile were beginning to make their return.

"Who is he?"Emmeline's eyes were glimmering with curiosity. Marlene had never mentioned Sirius during their time together so she was a bit taken aback by her question.

"What do you mean?" she asked, puzzled.

"Oh come on now," Emmeline rolled her eyes, "nobody is that devastated over missing school. Especially not when you have what appears to be half the Hogwarts library scattered all over the room. You've been much too sullen to be thinking about your studies so who's the guy your anxious to see?" Her hand gestured around the room where numerous textbooks lay stacked in piles on the side table and the empty bed that Emmeline had once occupied.

Marlene wanted to challenge her – Lily would probably fit into the category of 'devastated' if the roles were reversed, but Emmeline didn't know Lily and the case seemed unwinnable. "Just a guy from school."

"Obviously. What's his name?"

"Sirius."

"Sirius?" Emmeline seemed thoughtful as if she were trying to put a face to the name. "Black is it?"

Marlene nodded.

"I've heard the name. He's related to Bellatrix isn't he?"

"Who?" Marlene wasn't sure who that girl was since Sirius didn't speak about his family. The only name she recognized was that of his younger brother, Regulus.

"Real treat of a lady. I'm sure that there's a relation, all Black's are related somehow. She was a Slytherin in my year and rumor has it she's real deep with the Deatheaters these days. How'd you end up pining after a Black?"

"He's not like the rest of his family," Marlene could feel a rise of defensiveness. This is what Sirius must go through on a regular basis when people learn his name. She recalled the conversation they had had once about how the Potter's had been weary of him when James dragged him home for the holidays the first time. "He's in Gryffindor with me."

"What do your parents think about that?"

"They're dead," she said flatly, attempting to contain the whirlwind of new emotions inside of her from lashing out on her unsuspecting friend. Her question was innocent enough but the words stung Marlene like a fresh wound. Anyone that knew her knew better than to ask such a question. However, Emmeline didn't know that Marlene's parents had been murdered and she had never offered information on the subject.

Still though, an ache began throbbing in her chest at their mention and she shivered as she recalled the most recent nightmare she had experienced only the night prior. It was vaguely similar to the ones she had been experiencing after news of her parent's murder, but the location had changed to the scene in Hogsmeade and it was her mother laying lifeless amongst a pool of blood on the cobbled street.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know," a strange expression passed over her face before she offered a sympathetic smile. "I just assumed that was your father who's been visiting."

"He's my godfather." Marlene had to look away from Emmeline's prying eyes and instead focused on the Transfiguration textbook at the foot of her bed. "My parents were killed in an attack at the beginning of the year." Despite the fact that Uncle Tom was religious in visiting her every couple of days, she couldn't help but feel the bitterness that came over her as she realized he was not enough. Being separated against her wishes brought an influx of unhappy memories and bitterness that her parents weren't the ones visiting her instead. Emmeline had been a wonderful distraction from it all; at least until now.

They were interrupted by a swift knock on the door before the smiling face of Patrick came into view. It was hard not to notice the way that Emmeline perked up as she caught sight of him before tossing her hair over her shoulder and offering him a flirtatious grin. Patrick either didn't seem to notice or care because he didn't return the favor.

Marlene couldn't blame Emmeline for trying; Patrick was a decent looking fellow. Despite her failed efforts at catching his attention she didn't seem all that discouraged as he brushed by her without more than a polite greeting.

"Shall we see if there's any progress?" he asked Marlene eagerly to which she nodded in reply. She wasn't holding her breath as there hadn't been much improvement since her arrival at St. Mungo's but she was clinging on to the smallest traces of hope that meant she would soon be free from her confinement.

He unwrapped the dressing in the same similar fashion that he always did; slow and meticulously, but Marlene was impatient. "So is there any progress?" she asked when he failed to say anything. His hands were blocking her view from the wound and his face was knotted with concentration.

"A little," he didn't sound very excited though, "but it's so minimal that I'm not sure if it was from the potions or just your body healing on its own."

"It's most definitely the potion," Emmeline sounded annoyed. She had moved around to the opposite side of the bed and was hovering over Marlene's body, examining the wound.

"Either way," Patrick glanced up at her wearily, "it's only a minimal change. You still have quite a ways to go Marlene."

The news was better than Marlene had been hoping for and she couldn't help but smile.

"Shouldn't you be in training?" Patrick was looking questioningly at Emmeline. Her eyes glanced up at the clock on the wall and she let out a small squeal.

"Gotta run Marly," she grinned before rushing towards the door. "Don't eat all that chocolate before I visit you at lunch time." And then she was gone from the room.

"Marly?" Patrick was grinning at her.

"Yeah, I'm not really sure," Marlene rolled her eyes. Emmeline had taken to calling her that after their first day together and, despite Marlene's attempts to correct her, refused to call her anything but. She didn't mind all that much though, the nickname was just another friendly reminder of Emmeline's quirkiness that she had grown accustomed to.

"Forgive me if I don't adopt the name," he laughed as he grabbed a jar of the hybrid potion from the shelf by Marlene's bed. "I happen to think Marlene fits you much better. Besides, it's a lovely name, why would anyone want to shorten it?"

Marlene could feel her cheeks tingling and hoped that a blush wasn't noticeable on her face. She wasn't certain that Patrick was flirting with her but the compliment made her feel uncomfortable all the same. He didn't say anything further as he applied a thick layer of the potion on her abdomen and Marlene watched with interest as it bubbled slightly before absorbing into the wound.

"Does it burn?" he was watching her with creased brows and Marlene hadn't been aware that her face had been squished together.

"Only a little bit," she said quietly, "much less than before."

"Don't tell your friend," he couldn't suppress a slight scowl, "but her idea may have been brilliant."

"Would it kill you to tell her that?" Marlene couldn't help but laugh. She watched as Patrick rewrapped her bandages with a slight shrug. It seemed apparent that her previous observations had been accurate; he had less than favorable feelings towards Emmeline.

"I normally get along well with others," he glanced up at her and she noticed for the first time how blue they were. "She's a bit too assertive for my liking. I can't even imagine what a week in the same room with her must have been like. I bet you're happy to finally be back on your own."

"No actually, I rather enjoyed her company."

"Oh," he seemed surprised but had finished her dressing and moved away from the bed to put the potion away.

"It's sort of lonely here without her now," she continued on without waiting for him to prompt her for an answer, "and that means all I have to distract me are these lousy books."

"Well if you're that miserable in here why didn't you just say so?" he was grinning again. "I'll come visit you more, you know, help you keep yourself from going insane."

Marlene wasn't quite sure what to say; she hadn't been hinting that she needed more company from him but she couldn't help but feel like he had maybe read her wrong. She forced herself to smile and thank him anyways, in case she was imagining things. After all, he was a really nice guy and he wasn't opening hitting on her.

When he had left the room to tend to the rest of his rounds Marlene let out a large sigh before closing her eyes and relaxing back into the large squishy pillow behind her. She hadn't slept well the night before due to the unyielding nightmares and had given up all hope of sleep somewhere around four in the morning. She had considered asking for a dreamless sleep potion from Patrick before wondering what questions it would cost her, and she was most certainly not prepared to speak to anyone about the horrifying images visiting her at night.

As she settled deeper into the pillow, the bright lights above her faded into darkness as she slipped into an unconscious state – hoping that her stubbornness hadn't cost her another visit to that auspicious day in Hogsmeade.


She woke up to a scream.

Her eyes shot open in fear, forgetting where she was until three women in white uniforms came rushing into her room. The back of her neck was covered in sweat and she could feel her fingers curled around the bed sheets in a vice grip. She wasn't aware that she had been the one screaming until one of the healers asked her if everything was okay.

"I'm fine," she lied. She could taste salt on her lips and it was the first indication that she was still crying. Of course, much like everyone else that Marlene knew, they exchanged skeptical glances; disbelieving of her deceit.

Marlene's eyes wandered to the clock above the door as the healers, satisfied that she wasn't in any serious harm, exited the room in single file. It was nearing noon which meant she had accomplished at least a few good hours of sleep before she had been subjected to another nightmare.

She could hear the boisterous laugh of Emmeline even before the brunette's smiling face appeared in the doorway. She breathed a sigh of relief to see her friend, knowing that the distraction was a welcome one.

"Heard you've been screaming something fierce, Marly?" she grinned before plopping down on the edge of the bed.

"Where'd you hear that?"

"The healer's at the desk were talking about it when I passed through. It seems that you're still quite the talk of this place, you know."

"I love being the center of attention," Marlene said with obvious sarcasm and Emmeline's grin deepened.

"Don't let that bother you, they rarely get unsolvable medical cases these days and they're just curious. Heck, I admit that I was intrigued with your case just listening to them when you first arrived."

"Let's be honest Emmeline, you are still obsessed with it. I can see your eyes hovering over my wound right now, probably looking for a sign of blood to see whether my episode ripped open the wound again."

"Clever witch," she smiled. "Perhaps you do have what it takes to think like a healer."

"I just need the grades now," Marlene sighed, her eyes scanning the textbooks in the room once again. "And being here much longer is really going to hinder my chances of that."

"You're a smart girl, Marly, I don't have doubts you'll manage to catch up." Marlene knew that Emmeline was just trying to be nice but since she was usually blunt, her words indicated that there might be more truth there than Marlene gave her credit for. "So you're having nightmares then?"

"Yes," she said simply. She still did not feel like divulging any details.

"That's fairly common," she continued without any indication she was planning to pry further. "A lot of witches and wizards that come in here from an attack go through it. Did you ask for a sleeping draught yet?"

"No," she admitted. "I was going to ask you about that."

"Unfortunately I'm still in training so I have limited ability in that department. You're going to have to ask Patrick or one of the other healer's on the floor for that one." Marlene's eyes wandered unconsciously to the jar of potion sitting on the shelf beside her bed that Emmeline had helped create. Almost as if Emmeline knew what she was thinking she spoke. "The only reason that happened was because I was working with Patrick. I'd lose my job if I had gone ahead and created it on my own. Seriously though, just tell him you're having trouble sleeping. Like I said, it's totally normal and he probably will be expecting it."

Marlene nodded. Emmeline was probably right and even if Patrick did start to ask any questions she could easily just tell him that she wasn't in the mood to talk about it. It really didn't need to be that hard but the more time she spent under scrutiny and observation, the more she clung to any amount of privacy she could have. Talking about the horrific images of bloodshed and death was not something she was interested in sharing at the moment.

They spent the rest of Emmeline's lunch hour talking about her first day back. Marlene listened intently as she talked about the different cases that had come in during the morning while nibbling on some of the leftover chocolate. When she was meant to return to work, Emmeline seemed vaguely disappointed that Patrick had failed to show up during her visit. Marlene didn't miss her glances towards the doorway every so often.

"So has Patrick been in to see you?"

"Emmeline, he was just in here this morning when you were here," Marlene rolled her eyes. "He's not here every second of the day. He doesn't babysit me you know."

"I know that," she said haughtily. "I was just hoping to see him before I left. He's quite the eye candy and there are no decent looking blokes on my floor."

Luckily for Marlene, she didn't need to ask for a sleeping potion. Just as Emmeline was getting ready to leave one of the healers that had come rushing into her room earlier, identified by her name tag as Martha, entered into the room with a bubbling goblet.

"I figured that this might help you sleep a little better," she smiled before settling a large goblet on the night stand beside Marlene's bed. It was a thick purple, sweet smelling potion and Marlene stared at it hungrily; she knew that it would temporarily inhibit the emotional pain and she craved the release. "I heard you a couple of times through the night last night too so I made this one extra strong to get you a decent sleep. You won't be able to dream with this one."

"Perfect," Emmeline exclaimed, voicing the enthusiasm that Marlene was holding back. "Well enjoy Marly, I suppose I won't be back to visit you until tomorrow then since you'll probably be knocked out cold for the rest of the day."

"Thanks for the visit," Marlene smiled and waved as Emmeline moved through the door and out of sight.

Martha was still standing at the ledge of the bed, waiting for Marlene to grab hold of the goblet. Her eyes too were trained on Marlene's abdomen as if she were mentally undressing the wound in her mind; trying to figure it out.

"Am I really that interesting?" she asked, unable to hide the trace of irritation in her tone.

"Sorry," Martha blushed. "Whenever you're ready to take that potion it will put you into dreamless sleep almost immediately."

"Thanks," she said before Martha hurried from the room in either embarrassment or to see another patient; whichever it was, Marlene didn't care. Her hands reached over and grabbed the silver goblet and admired the purple liquid within.

She had been thinking an awful lot more about her parents these days and she felt guilty to wash away their memory with magic, even if it was momentarily. But the truth was that their memory was now tainted with death and devastation; gone were the memories of her parents smiling faces, Christmas dinners and tucking her into bed at night as a child after reading her favorite bedtime story. Replaced now with her own mental images of the gruesome bloodshed, horrifying screams and tripping over dead bodies scattered across the streets of Hogsmeade.

Thinking about her parents resurfaced the unresolved pain from their departure. She had never truly processed their death, never received closure for their horrific and unjustified murder and the gap within her heart seemed to grow larger with each passing minute.

Marlene could feel the tears falling down her face again but she didn't care because there was nobody there to see it. The ache for Sirius was even more prominent; he had been the one to help her through this the first time and she craved his closeness to provide her reassurance and comfort. Knowing that she was all alone made the situation even more unbearable to deal with and she felt hopeless that she would ever feel normal again.

She raised the goblet to her lips and allowed the sweet liquid to trickle into her mouth. At least this way she wouldn't have to remember the painful memories that plagued her. And without any memories to haunt her dreams, at least for the time being, she wouldn't have to feel anything at all.