A/N: You get another update today, because I'm working in a lab doing titrations, and this is how I pass the time while I wait for the machine to finish.
So, today I took out a piece of paper and outlined everything I still wanted to do for Phases before I ended it. I divided the outline into chapters, and wrote out what I wanted to do for each chapter. This is something I've never done for this fic, since I've kind of been winging it, but I wanted to get a conclusive ending. That said…I have to announce that the countdown has begun.
The last chapter of Phases will be CHAPTER 38. So as of this chapter, there are ten more chapters to go before the story ends.
About aging, I've really given up trying to discover whatever aging system is canon for Soul Society. I'm going with the theory that it varies based on reiatsu (which is why Yamamoto can be incredibly old and still alive, while Rukia can be 150-ish and look 15 despite being a Kuchiki for 40 years…etc.) and that children age faster (so you don't have a fussy infant for 15 years). Just imagine the twins as looking 15 or 16 (same age as Ichigo and the gang in the first episodes of Bleach) with Ichigo looking older by about a year or two (since his aging in this story slowed down when he became a shinigami). Everyone else looks the same except for Toshiro and Yachiru who have aged slightly. Toshiro and Karin look about the same age. Yachiru is starting to drift into the pre-teen stage.
Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. At all.
Chapter 29: The choices we make
The light was on in Yuzu's window, but Karin knocked anyway, just in case she might have miscounted or Yuzu didn't want to be disturbed. There was a pause, and Karin heard the sound of rustling paper coming from inside.
"Come in," came Yuzu's voice.
She opened the sliding door, stepping into the room. Yuzu was sitting at her desk, a sheaf of papers next to her. Karin recognized it as a draft of a short story, and wondered whether or not she would be sending it to Seireitei Communication when it was finished. She set down her pen, turning around to face her sister. "Karin-chan?" she asked, her face falling when she took note of Karin's expression. "…What's wrong?"
"Can we talk?" asked Karin.
"Sure," said Yuzu, getting out of her seat. Karin sat cross-legged on the floor, and Yuzu followed, sitting down on the ground in front of her. There was a concerned frown on her sister's face. Karin sighed, wondering how she was going to go about this.
"It's about Toshiro…" she began.
Yuzu's eyes widened slightly. "Are you and Hitsugaya-kun fighting again?" she asked.
"No, it's not that," said Karin, scowling. "Everything's fine, except—." She ran a hand through her hair, frustrated. "—dammit—he—I—."
"…Karin-chan…?" asked Yuzu.
Karin shook her head. "I think he just tried to kiss me," she blurted out.
Yuzu stared. Karin fell silent, lowering her eyes to the floor. A blush spread slowly across her face.
"…He…" began Yuzu, incredulously. "Hitsugaya-kun did?"
"Well, he might have," admitted Karin, not looking up at Yuzu. Her blush grew. "Or maybe I tried to kiss him. I don't know. Either way—the thought was there and somebody was gonna kiss somebody…" She trailed off, mumbling to herself.
"And?" prompted Yuzu, still surprised. "What happened?"
"Nothing," said Karin quickly. "Nothing happened. Matsumoto called, and…" She trailed off, waving her hand in the air dismissively. "I mean, that's crazy, right?" She laughed nervously. "We must have sparred a little too hard or something—someone got hit in the head. It's completely insane. Me and Toshiro?" She tried to laugh again, and then stopped, noticing the look on Yuzu's face. Karin paused, staring at her twin. Yuzu looked surprised, but she didn't have the completely taken aback look that Karin expected from her. Instead, her expression was beginning to soften as she watched Karin.
"It…it is insane, isn't it?" she asked. "…I mean, there's no way…me and Toshiro…"
Yuzu said nothing. Karin stared at her for a few more moments.
"Oh, hell," said Karin. "Don't tell me. It's Rukia-nee and Ichi-nii all over again, isn't it? Everyone's been talking about it?"
This time, a guilty look crossed Yuzu's face. She glanced to the side. "Well…" she began. "I wouldn't say everyone…"
"How long?" demanded Karin.
Yuzu swallowed, shifting uncomfortably. "Er…well…Rangiku-san mentioned something like that to me…before we even enrolled at the Academy…"
Karin swore. "Dammit," she said. "We're just friends. We are…just friends…aren't we?"
"…Um…well…considering what you just told me…I'd say…maybe not?" said Yuzu, shrugging slightly.
"I don't…I don't like him like that," said Karin. "At least…I don't think I do." She shook her head, looking up at Yuzu. "Hey. You liked that one guy didn't you? How did that feel?"
Yuzu's eyes widened slightly. "Karin-chan, that was in middle school!" she said. "That was ages ago!"
"Better than what I've got," said Karin with a frown.
"Well, I don't know. That was just a little crush," said Yuzu. "How does Hitsugaya-kun make you feel?"
"We're friends," said Karin, frowning.
"And…?" prompted Yuzu.
Karin sighed, resting her hand on her neck and staring at the corner of the room. "…He pisses me off sometimes, acting tough and shit. I hate that he's stronger than me. I don't like that he keeps running off to protect me, like I need it."
"…But?" asked Yuzu.
"But…" Karin sighed again. "But…when we talk or hang out, or do whatever—." She shook her head, trying a different approach. She hated talking about her feelings. It was easy to talk about how she was angry at someone, or what she didn't like about them, but this was something completely different. It made her feel weak.
She hated that feeling.
"…Nobody really gets it," she said. "…Gets me, I mean. There's not a lot of people out there that really understand me. You get it, but we're twins. Ichi-nii gets it. Toshiro…" She stared down at the ground, her expression growing slightly thoughtful. "…When we talk, I feel like I've known him forever. Like…like I can say or do anything, and he'll still come back. Sometimes it's like I'm talking to you. Even when we fight, it's like…" She paused. "…It just clicks, and it's easy. It's always easy to talk to him. But whenever stuff like this crops up…"
"…Do you like him?" asked Yuzu.
"I don't know," said Karin, helplessly. "I don't know what it's like to like anyone. But back there…It felt right. It just…if Matsumoto hadn't called…I might have—but then it would be even worse than right now, right? It'd be awkward…so it's better like this…"
"…I think you need to think about this," said Yuzu. "How you feel about Hitsugaya-kun…and where you want this to go…"
"Well, what do you think?" asked Karin.
"I think he's good for you," said Yuzu. "I think Ichi-nii thinks the same thing. But we're not you…so we can't figure this out for you."
"Damn it…" muttered Karin, shaking her head and staring down at the ground. "As if one confusing thing weren't enough…"
"I'm sure you'll figure it out eventually, Karin-chan…" said Yuzu with a concerned frown.
Karin shook her head. "Whatever," she said. "It's not important. Anyway…" She sighed, putting a grin on her face as she tried to change the subject. "So…what are you writing?"
It was late at night, and the grounds of the high school were empty, covered in a fine layer of snow. Ichigo stood on the rooftop, staring down at the courtyard. It was hard to believe it had already been ten years. Ishida, Chad, and Inoue had all left. They'd graduated, gone on to college or to wherever life had taken them. They looked older now, the last time he'd seen them, but of course they would. They were twenty-five now.
…So was he, technically, he supposed. But he hadn't aged much in that time. He wondered if any of the other shinigami ever felt like the living world was leaving them behind. Probably not…none of them really had his background.
He felt her before he saw her, but he'd been getting better at sensing reiatsu as of late. She didn't make a sound as she appeared behind him, her sandaled feet touching the ground with little more than a whisper.
"…I had a feeling you'd be out here…" she said, walking over to stand next to him. Her arms were folded. Like him, she didn't seem to be affected by the cold. She probably felt it less than he did, considering her zanpakuto used ice.
"Hey, Rukia," he said, glancing over at her.
"Hey yourself," said Rukia, rolling her eyes. "…Isshin-san told me about Ankoujin-dono's plan."
"He knew about it too?" asked Ichigo.
"Apparently," she replied.
He sighed. "Does everyone know something they're not telling me?" he asked.
"Probably," replied Rukia, her expression serious. There were still so many secrets in Soul Society, things that neither of them knew about.
He frowned, looking over at her. "This your way of making me feel better?" he asked.
"Is it working?" asked Rukia.
"…A little."
"Then, yes."
He rolled his eyes. "God," he said. "Impossible midget."
"Baka strawberry."
Ichigo sighed, but didn't reply. Rukia looked through the fence at the school grounds, a faint smile on her face. "This brings back memories," she said. "Remember when we used to eat up here?"
"I remember you couldn't use a juice box," said Ichigo, with a slight smirk.
"And I could write novels about how long it took you to learn your way around Seireitei, but I'm not doing that, am I?" asked Rukia, with a smile that was exaggeratedly sweet.
"Good point," said Ichigo.
The two of them fell silent for a moment, and then Ichigo spoke. "I don't need a title," he said. "And I don't want one. Not if it's just so something can be official. Nobody needs to know who I'm related to, and I don't need a piece of paper telling me to protect my family. I'd do it on my own."
"So say no," said Rukia. "No one's forcing you to do anything."
"…I keep thinking of Yuzu and Karin," said Ichigo, shrugging. "Is this going to be better for them? Do they want this? Are people going to stop picking on them? So on and so on…"
"Did you ask them?" asked Rukia.
"…No," admitted Ichigo.
She raised an eyebrow. "Oh, so you want me to just read their minds and tell you their feelings off the top of my head?"
Ichigo scowled at her. "You know what I meant."
"I know," said Rukia. "And I know what you're thinking about." She sighed, her expression growing slightly far off as she looked out at the school yard. "It'll be different. It won't be the same as it was with me. You won't have to deal with all the drama and the politics and the power play that comes with the Great Houses. You won't even have to change your attitude as much most of the time—look at Kyoraku-taicho. They're not all as formal as Nii-sama is…Kaien wasn't."
"I'm not worried about having to change the way I act," said Ichigo, frowning at her. "If the soutaicho can't do much about it, that old man definitely can't change me."
"So what is it?" asked Rukia. "I'm not trying to pressure you into anything. I just want to know where you stand."
Ichigo sighed, folding his arms. "I don't really want all that attention," he said. "That was it at first, and then I got to thinking…if I do this, it's a final thing, isn't it? It wouldn't just be me, Yuzu, and Karin. It would be everyone after that. So what if sometime down the line someone decides they hate being tied to the Ankoujin? Things like that."
"That's what you're worried about?" asked Rukia, incredulously. Ichigo looked over at her. "Ichigo, if you refuse, one of your descendants could hate that you didn't take this opportunity. You can't base your decision on what future generations might say. That's just insane, especially considering all of the other things with long-lasting consequences that you've done for Soul Society."
He blinked at her. Now that she mentioned it, it did feel kind of stupid. "Yeah…" he said. "Yeah, I guess it was kind of silly."
"Decide based on your own feelings. Yours, Yuzu's, and Karin's, and don't let anyone tell you anything different, because when it comes down to it, nobody else is involved in this but you."
There was something in the way she said it…the way her expression grew far off, that made him think she might have been speaking from experience. He frowned at her.
"Was it like that for you?" he asked. "When Byakuya adopted you?"
Rukia hesitated for a moment before she responded. "…When Nii-sama made his offer, I was in shock…" she said. "I was still in the Academy…I didn't know what to think. So I asked Renji for his opinion…"
"You took important life advice from Renji?" interrupted Ichigo, with a snicker.
"Shut up," said Rukia. "I'm being serious. I asked Renji for his opinion…and he acted all excited for me, telling me that I definitely needed to take this opportunity or it wouldn't come back again. I wasn't sure about it myself, but when I heard that from him, I thought that he was right, that I would be stupid not to accept this generous offer."
Ichigo frowned, staring at Rukia. "You regret it?" he asked.
She shook her head. "Not anymore," she said. "But when I met you, I'd been a Kuchiki for forty years. And in that time…I never felt like I belonged in that family. I was always walking on eggshells around Nii-sama, trying not to anger him in any way…trying to measure up. And then Kaien died…"
Her eyes grew even farther away. "Yes…I did regret it. For a long time."
"And now?" asked Ichigo.
She shook her head. "…I don't regret it anymore," she said. "I can't think of how my life would be if I had never become Kuchiki Rukia. I would probably have risen through the ranks sooner…I wouldn't have spent forty years feeling out of place and outclassed. Would I have entered the Thirteenth Division and gained such respect for Ukitake-taichou? Probably not? Would I have made vice-captain? Probably not. It was the knowledge that Nii-sama was watching that made me push myself so much."
"I probably wouldn't have met you either…" she added, looking at Ichigo out of the corner of her eye. "…I wouldn't have been set for execution. And you would never have become a shinigami, which means Aizen would probably have won…Maybe."
She shook her head, as if she was trying to chase the thoughts away. "I'd have no brother," she said. "I thought that would be a blessing once. Now…" Rukia trailed off.
Ichigo frowned. "Y'know…" he said. "The first time I met Byakuya, I couldn't believe he was your brother. When I heard you were adopted, it suddenly made much more sense."
"Now?" asked Rukia.
He chuckled softly. "Now?" he asked, smiling slightly. "Sometimes when I run into the two of you, and you're walking down the street heading back to your manor, talking about whatever's going on in your Divisions or what the soutaicho said or things like that, I forget you two weren't born siblings. And sometimes you'll give me that look…"
Rukia glared at him. "What look?" she asked. "I don't give looks."
"That look," said Ichigo, pointing at her face. "That one right there. That 'you are a new breed of idiot' look that you picked up right from Byakuya. It just…I have to remind myself now that you two aren't really related, that's all."
"I see…" said Rukia quietly. She frowned, as if considering this. "It's not been easy…" she finally said. "But I think…I think we're more like family now."
"Yeah," said Ichigo with a nod.
"But…anyway," said Rukia, turning towards him. "Just promise me. Whatever decision you make, you'll make it on your own."
Ichigo frowned, looking over at her. "Alright," he said, nodding.
"I promise."
Yuzu raised her hand quickly, her hand catching her opponent's wrist and moving the strike aside. Her eyes widened sharply as another strike came in with the other hand, and she stepped back, blocking it and pushing it aside with her hand. A third strike came, one that she was unprepared for, and she winced, bracing herself for impact.
The hand stopped a hair's breadth from her head, and Yuzu let out the breath she was holding. She looked up, looking straight into cool, dispassionate gray eyes.
"Stop," said Byakuya, taking a step back. There was a slight reprimand in his tone, and it stung. Yuzu lowered her hands, taking a deep breath and pushing her hair out of her face. The Kuchiki head studied her, his frown deepening as if he was considering how to take the lesson from here.
It was two days before her scheduled match with Karin, and while Yuzu had never been good at hakuda, she had to admit that she was a little more distracted than usual today. She had trained with Jungetsu, but the zanpakuto was still new to her, and the fact that her spirit was mute made jinzen difficult. She had to actually enter the inner world to speak with Jungetsu, not just hear her voice. Not only would she be fighting Karin, her zanjutsu exam would be the first qualifying exam she would take. She knew from watching the other exams that high-ranking shinigami were often present, already considering who they could add to their ranks. There was a lot of pressure on the graduating students now, and tempers were growing short.
The two of them were standing inside the Kuchiki Manor, in a large empty room designed for this purpose. Normally, their training sessions took place in the garden, but winter had well and truly set in by now, and the weather was rather unpleasant.
Yuzu endured the scrutiny, keeping her eyes on the ground. She fought down the urge to stammer an apology. Byakuya wasn't a harsh teacher, per se, but he did have high standards and could be rather exacting. He probably noticed that she was distracted by now.
"I want you to attack me continuously," he said. "Until I tell you to stop. Do you understand?"
She nodded once, looking up at him.
"Proceed," he said.
Yuzu took a deep breath, then rushed at him, raising her hand and attempting a strike. He took a smooth step back, swatting it aside. She raised her other hand, striking this time at his chin. Byakuya tilted his head slightly to the side in one graceful movement, his hand sweeping out from under her wrist and pushing her hand up. She frowned in concentration, striking again with more speed and power this time. The strike was aimed to the side of the head, and he took another step back, swatting her hand away. She continued to strike at him a few more times, and each time, he stepped back, smoothly dodging or blocking the strike.
Finally, he told her to stop. She did so, breathing hard from the exertion. They were standing near the dojo wall now, Byakuya with his back nearly against it. Her hand was outstretched, resting on his wrist where he had blocked her final attack. By now, she was winded, but Byakuya hadn't even broken a sweat.
"…What…" he said, after some time, "…is wrong with my approach?"
It took Yuzu a moment to realize he was asking her. She frowned in confusion, looking up at him. There was nothing wrong with his approach. He had blocked every attack as easily as if he were swatting away a toddler's punches. He didn't even look tired.
And then she looked up and saw the wall behind him, and realized what he was asking.
"You're…" she began, taking a deep breath. "You're on the defensive. You're blocking every attack, but you're not breaking the attack, and the attacker is forcing you to give up ground. You could…" She hesitated for a moment, realizing now what he was trying to tell her.
His brow rose. "Go on," he prompted.
"…If you were…less skilled," she said, "You could slip and let an attack in, as I did…or you could get cornered, and have nowhere else to go…You've…" Another breath. "…You've essentially given up your control."
"Good," said Byakuya. "This…" He gestured at her hand, where it had connected with his wrist. "is a blocking game. It is a contest of strength. Control in this situation falls to the attacker." He frowned, looking down at her. "…How do you break the attack?" he asked.
She looked up at him mutely, a frown on her face. After a while, she shook her head. "I don't know," she admitted.
Byakuya nodded, motioning for her to step back. She did so, taking a deep breath.
"Attack me now," he said.
Yuzu took a deep breath and nodded, rushing forward with her hand upraised. She aimed the strike at his head, her hand moving towards it. This time, as he stepped aside and raised his hand up to meet hers, he caught her wrist with his palm facing towards himself, twisting his wrist around and leading the attack in. Yuzu's eyes widened as she felt herself pitch forward, losing her balance.
He took a step so that he was behind her, one hand going up to her shoulder as his elbow rested on the small of her back. Yuzu felt him move then, one quick continuous motion. She heard the rustle of cloth and felt him step away, and then in the next moment she was lying on the ground, staring up at the ceiling with wide eyes. She braced her hands on either side of her to push herself up, but was stopped by Senbonzakura's blade at her throat.
Byakuya stood over her, his expression impassive as he held her at the end of his sword. She lay back, breathing quietly.
"Is there anything you can do from here?" asked Byakuya.
She shook her head. The question was rhetorical, she knew, but she answered it anyway.
"Kidou…if I were fast enough, but—."
"But I could end you before the incantation left your mouth."
He took a step back, sheathing his sword in one smooth motion. Yuzu got shakily to her feet. Byakuya frowned at her, half-turned away from her. "…You have a zanjutsu qualifying exam in two days, correct?"
She nodded once. "…Yes," she said.
"…Clearly, you should focus on zanjutsu at this time. We will resume this after your exam. Think on what I told you."
The exam…
For a moment, she had almost forgotten it.
"Hai…Kuchiki-taichou," she said. She watched as Byakuya walked away, taking a deep breath as a thought occurred to her. Would he take offense? She swallowed, gathering up her courage. It couldn't hurt to ask.
"…Ku-Kuchiki-taichou…" she said.
He stopped, glancing back at her. "Yes?"
"…Will—will you be present…at the exam…?"
Captains couldn't always make it, but representatives from almost all the divisions tended to show up during the qualifying exams of the highly-ranked classes. She had thought it was a reasonable question, but now she wasn't sure. He frowned at her.
"…Perhaps," he said simply.
She let out the breath she was holding, watching as he walked away.
TO BE CONTINUED
Zanpakuto Notes
My theme for the –getsu family of zanpakuto was, rather simply, the moon. Zangetsu's spirit appears as a man in a cloak, so I equated that with the Western concept of the "man on the moon". In Japanese, the man on the moon is replaced by "the rabbit on the moon" (which is why Sailor Moon is named Usagi (rabbit), by the way), which was the inspiration for Karin's zanpakuto spirit. Finally, Jungetsu is based off of Princess Kaguya, the Japanese mythological princess who lives on the moon.
So we have Zangetsu, the man on the moon, Jungetsu, the lady on the moon, and the yet unknown boy with the rabbit, the rabbit on the moon.
There's another theme I used for their zanpakuto spirits, but that will be evident a little later on.
Byakuya's lesson notes
The fighting style being taught by Byakuya is based heavily off of the martial art I do-aikido. Different styles of aikido will tell you different things, but at its base form, aikido is the art of using the opponent's force against them. Most styles have the same principles—keeping and protecting your center, maintaining control of the situation, not wasting energy with big movements, neutralizing the opponent in a single move instead of getting involved in long, drawn-out exchanges…etc. The difference is that aikido doesn't generally teach attacks, so he isn't teaching her a pure form of anything really.
I don't pretend to be an expert since I've only been doing it for a year, but it seemed like good principles to introduce into the story. It's a good fighting style for Byakuya to teach, because it relies not on strength, but on posture, precision, and control—all things we know Byakuya has. It's also derived from sword work. The "blocking game" thing is actually something my teacher cautioned me about yesterday, and I had to include it in the story because it made so much sense, lol.
