A/N: I shouldn't even "Hey, guys!" to you I'm so ashamed.

I am so. SORRY.

I did NOT plan on missing out on all these months and leaving you guys hanging! I wouldn't blame you if you stopped following me cause I was too damned slow.

To my defense, I did update my profile and explain to you guys in detail what happened all those months. I apologize if I haven't posted a small A/N here, but I didn't want you guys to think that I was gonna give up this story. There is NO WAY I am giving this up, not after everything it's been through and all the joys I have had reading and answering your reviews. Which I will be doing right now:

Pony-Edward-Lucas'Girl: I am so not getting used to this new name :P I miss you a lot too, Jesus Christ I am a bad person to have conversations with, it's been forever! I hope everything is going well for you, and thank you for the kind review. :)

white collar black wolf: Thank you :) Hope the wait was worth it.

GreaserG1rl201: Thank you! Jesus, I hope you didn't give up on this story with all the waiting!

Jessieklove: Thank you for reviewing. :)

mycookiegirl: I agree, stupid teacher! I oughta pull some Mr. North misery on him ;) Thank you for the review. :)

MiniHorseMeadow: He really is, I should learn how to cut him some slack, especially in this story. :P Don't blame Two-Bit, blame the teacher for being so damned insistent!

Zarak: He sure is!

Amanda: OUR BABY BOY! :P

Guest: And I'm happy to be in the school's paper ;) Thank you so much for the review!

tmntlover2013: Thank you. :)

Lovetoread75: This chapter IS a little lighter as you wished but no revenge. :( All in due time! ;) I was aiming for intense, so I'm glad I achieved it! Thank you!

LetMeChooseAFreakingName: It does suck, thank you for the get well wish! :)

FrankElza: Hey darling! I'm sorry I've been absent all that time. It does suck, but it's better now! Andrew's comment was meant to be fitting, which makes him more of a bastard. I hate my own character xD One can't even put themselves in Dally's shoes since he's so unpredictable, especially when he learns that. Thank you for the nice review and I hope you didn't give up on me yet. xxx

Guest (chapter 15): Someone has, thank you! :)

Guest 14: I hope you didn't die.

Anchinesh: I hope you're not mad! If you can sign in, I'd wish to PM you! A new reviewer always excites me!

kill jackunel: Because this is my story and I can, darling. ;) I hope this chapter satisfies you, and I apologize for the long wait!

There, that settles the reviews! Wow, 16 for the previous chapter plus one more! Thank you! I hope you haven't gave up on me in all those months! I promise to try and update more! I know I haven't respected my previous promises and you might be skeptical and you can hate me for that but I ask of you to please go on my profile and read my two notes! It sums up how I've felt!

I would like to point out that this chapter is different than my normal writing style, as I have been accepted to University in Creative Writing and I am trying to find out my precise style, but this chapter is also special and some parts sum up what I have been feeling in the past few months that I have gone MIA from Fanfiction. I hope you guys forgive me, but most of all, I hope you enjoy this chapter while waiting for the last, remaining one! I have the plot for it all finalized and done, so y'all shouldn't have to wait 4 months for it! I hope for you and for myself that you don't! Now, R & R and enjoy! :)

XxX

Everything was hazy.

He felt like he was floating, but he couldn't see how. As a matter of fact, he couldn't see.

He was surrounded by complete darkness. Eyes closed, eyes opened; all he could see was pitch black in every corner of his vision. If there were corners to begin with.

He felt like he was stuck in limbo. He couldn't feel anything. Emotions sounded foreign to him, and movement seemed distant in mind. He wasn't sure he even had a body, and with no rational thinking to prove it, he had no lead to where he was.

Or, if he was.

Then, suddenly, something flickered out of the corner of his left eye.

Light.

Dim at first, a tiny spot surrounded by darkness, just like him. And then, bright.

As if coming straight toward his location.

It grew bigger, and brighter, and…closer.

Until it created a shape, floating in front of him.

"...Ponyboy…"

Suddenly, he could feel. His fingers tingled, blood freely flowing in; his feet touched something he was yet to decipher. His mouth was slightly opened, lips cracked from the dryness on his skin, nose sharply breathing in tight air. His light tufts of auburn hair were softly brushing the sides of his youthful face, and his greenish-gray eyes…

…were looking at a woman.

More precisely, a blonde haired woman, with eyes identical to his, reflecting his own skinny, sickly form, yet he was glowing just as bright.

And then, she spoke. "...You have changed, my sweet little Ponyboy…" Her eyes now reflected her growing, cold sadness, though her smile spilled warmth around the still dark place.

He could feel the woman's love seep through his veins, but no recognition lighted up his mind. "Do…do I know you?" Hesitation clouded his features, and then, "Should I?"

The woman's lips pursed, and she closed her eyes, her smile now just as sad as her eyes. The air around her seemed to change, though he couldn't tell how, until he found himself in a meadow. "...You have changed so much…"

They were standing on rich, green grass, stretched in endless hills, painted over a clear, colored sky. Over the horizon, the setting sun was surrounded by blotches of a fading orange-yellowish shade, blending in with a mesmerizing red, followed by a blushing pink and painting the rest of the sky around with a beautiful purple.

The sight in itself was jaw-dropping, but it made the woman glow ten times brighter, drawing his attention back to her shining eyes. She warmly smiled at him, her hand slowly reached out for him.

"...You should, but don't worry…" And as her hand brushed his face to cup his chin, he felt his eyes droop. "…everything will be alright…"

And her warm hand gently pressed on his cold chest above his heart. He sucked in a heavy breath, and the scenery completely changed.

Everything was blurry, but his hearing was clear, as sharp as a well-kept knife. He was aware that he was on his back against a solid yet oddly soft surface, and he couldn't seem to draw in any air.

The footsteps and shouts around him would've overwhelmed him if not for the fact that he was focusing on one sole thing.

Breathing.

His own gasps and wheezes reached his ears as his mouth was popped open as wide as he could manage in his weakened state, but his throat only tightening in on him.

He felt hands on his upper back and abdomen, and the sudden motion of being sat up left him dizzy and disoriented. His eyesight was blurry, darting left and right to try to focus on one point to gain his vision back, without luck.

"…Ponyboy…!" He could faintly hear his name being called throughout all the commotion, but he couldn't make out where the voice came from, or whose it was.

He felt a strange yet familiar feeling lodge itself in his throat, and before he could stop himself, he was coughing. And coughing.

And coughing.

And he couldn't stop.

The coughs racked his body forward and he squeezed his eyes shut, ignoring the feeling of his shirt riding on his back in circles as someone soothingly rubbed it to get him to stop. He wrapped his arms around his stomach, suddenly feeling the soreness as he kept coughing, tears escaping his eyelids.

His heart was pounding in his chest in thousands of rapid, tiny beats, and he faintly registered his shoulders being shook. Darkness was closing in on him again and he desperately fought to stay awake, to breathe, damn it.

And suddenly, finally, it all stopped.

He wheezed, gasped, and then he could breathe.

He relished the feeling of oxygen flowing inside his lungs, in through his nose, out through his mouth. "...Breathe, Ponyboy," a voice told him, and he was relieved to be able to match a name with it. "You're gonna be okay..."

Sodapop.

Suddenly, everything matched and led to Sodapop. The hand on his back, the other hand stroking his damp, sweaty hair, the soothing voice whispering encouraging words for him to calm down and take deep breaths. They all belonged to his older brother.

And then, the whereabouts of his oldest brother revealed themselves.

So did Two-Bit Matthews'.

His vision cleared in an instant, blurriness fading away, the corners of his eyes now flooded with the scenery that was his room. He could now see his brothers' and his friend's worried stares, three piercing pairs of differently colored eyes burning holes filled with worry and fright into his small being.

He didn't know what to say, didn't know what to do except dumbly sit on his bed and take deep breaths while staring back at his bothers' and friend's faces. So, he settled for a typical Ponyboy response.

"...M'okay..."

He was immediately followed by Darry Curtis' infamous parental scowl. "You're far from okay, Ponyboy." The man regretfully realised that his tone wasn't helping himself or his youngest brother, so he let himself relax, his facial features portraying his sudden mood change as well. "What happened, baby?" He sat down next to Ponyboy, who was now only focused on him. "What's the last thing you remember?"

Ponyboy felt regret cloud his own features when he couldn't give a proper answer. "Pony?" he heard, but he was too far lost in his mind to completely process it. He was confused about what had happened, and couldn't piece it all together, not even close to resembling a puzzle. At that point, everything was scattered in his soul, replacing his spirit with nothing but confusion, and perhaps fear, but mainly confusion, and he didn't even register his brothers call his name when he lost focus of his oldest brother and let darkness drag him down to unconsciousness, or felt his body hit the solid surface of the floor with a loud bang that he didn't hear.

Everything was dark.

XxX

Everything was fuzzy.

I felt like I was floating, but I couldn't see how. As a matter of fact, I couldn't see.

I was surrounded by complete darkness. Whether I had my eyes closed or opened, all I could see was pitch black.

I felt numb. I couldn't feel anything. Emotions sounded weird to me, and I couldn't move a limb. I wasn't sure I even had a limb to move, and with no sight to see, I had no lead to how I existed.

Or, if I existed.

Then, I saw something move out of the corner of my right eye, even through the dark.

Light.

Very small at first, barely noticeable in the first place. And then it got bigger.

As if coming straight toward me.

It got bigger, and brighter, and, as I thought...closer.

Until it made a shape, standing right in front of me. It surprised me how it didn't blind me, but I found myself drawn to it.

"...Johnny…"

Suddenly, I could feel everything around me. I moved my fingers, letting my blood flow in; my feet touched something I couldn't recognize. My mouth was slightly opened, my lips as dry as my skin, and I could feel the air travel its way in my nose, and out my mouth. My hair wasn't greased, and my bangs were falling in front of my eyes, but I could still see. And what, or who I saw was...

…Ponyboy.

He was standing in front of me, his eyes looking straight at me, and he was smiling. He looked younger than he was, skinnier, sicker. But he was smiling. And he was glowing.

And then, he talked. "You've changed, Johnny…" His voice was soft, but sharp and full of pain. Yet, he still smiled at me, and his face was all I could look at while everything changed around me without me noticing.

And I found myself smiling at him too, and I ran toward him, arms stretched to give him a hug, and as I passed by him...

...I realized I passed through him.

He wasn't physically there. "Ponyboy..."

He turned around to face me, and when he did, he pursed his lips and closed his eyes. "You've changed so much..." I couldn't tell how I had changed, but I could feel the air around us change, until I finally noticed our surroundings.

We were standing on the top of a hill, with thick, wooden poles and old, broken fence nets. Ponyboy was leaning against one of the poles, his glow a little less bright. I could see the shadow of a tree on the ground next to us as I walked toward him and I slowly started looking around. I had trouble finding out where we were, but then I looked behind me and saw a surprising sight.

The wooden church.

We were in Windrixville.

"Pretty, uh?" Ponyboy asked, and I nodded, picturing the church and regretting it when I started seeing images of it being burned with Ponyboy trapped under a big pile of wood. I shook off my sad thoughts just as I suddenly saw a bright glow. I turned around and noticed that it was Ponyboy.

And then, I looked directly in front of us.

The sun had just started rising, showing off different shades of pink, and then changing to a beautiful golden mist. It was silvery and gold, and there were light clouds around the sun without hiding it. The more it rose, the more Ponyboy glowed, and everything else seemed silent as we both watched the sight in front of us, stretching into a low valley, going on for miles and miles away.

It had to be the prettiest sunrise I had ever seen, and Ponyboy seemed to think so too; he was smiling the whole time. We both watched it in silence before he turned his back on the rising sun, facing me with a smile.

His hand reached out toward me, and for the first time since I started, I didn't flinch. "Stay gold, Johnny..." I let his hand touch my shoulder before resting on it, and I could feel my eyes close against my will, but for the first time since I could remember, I felt at peace and let it be. "Stay gold..."

And his small hand gently squeezed my shoulder, and I let him. The air around us became thicker and darker as I closed my eyes and sucked in a sharp breath, and everything around me changed.

Everything was blurry, and it was so silent that I wondered if my hearing was alright, but I could hear something rattling when I moved my right arm. I could tell that I was on my back, and I knew I had to be on a cot or some sort of hospital bed, but I couldn't remember how I had ended up there.

The air in the room was sorta clammy and I could feel the hotness in the air when I breathed in through my nose. As soon as I tried to sit up, pain shot through my lower back, so I hissed and lay down again, trying to sit up more carefully. There was a small throbbing in my head and it made me wonder, what the hell happened? Had I been jumped?

I sat up more slowly, ignoring the pain in my lower back and head as my world tumbled in different directions. My eyesight was still a little blurry, so I made to rub my eyes, only for my right arm to jerk to a stop. I frowned and blinked a few times, and I realized that my wrist was cuffed to the bed.

My heart started pounding in my chest as I pulled at the restraint, wondering why it was necessary; surely if I was on a hospital bed, then I wouldn't try to escape?

And everything dawned on me and crashed down.

The church fire, the arrest, the questioning, the visits, the ra—

Oh, my God.

I had been raped.

I started wildly pulling on my restraint, fighting against the whimpers that threatened to escape my mouth, but one managed to escape anyway, and it was followed by more, quieter ones. My eyesight was starting to get blurry again, and I could feel something wet around my eyes, and it didn't register in my mind that I was crying, because I was a rape victim.

My breathing started to get quicker, and soon my breaths were fast and shallow, and the corners of my vision were getting dark, and the pain in my lower back was sharper, as if mocking me, and fear, shame and many other emotions surrounded me, and I felt hopeless and...

"...Stay gold, Johnny..."

I barely heard the voice the first time, but then, I heard it again, and I snapped my mouth opened and my eyes widened. Stay gold, Johnny...Stay gold, Johnny... They echoed around the room, but I could feel myself calm down under the soft voice of my best friend, until...

"Stay gold, Johnny." I turned around, a gasp stuck in my throat, and I coulda sworn I had seen Pony's silhouette standing in front of the door, but it changed into someone else's form, until it became one of the nurses. She made her way over to the bed before I could blink, and she had me on my back before I could make a move of my own.

"Feeling better?" she asked me, and the only thing I managed to do was nod. My eyes were a little wide while I watched her prepare a needle and fill it with some clear liquid, probably a sedative of some sort. It confused me how at ease I was with the situation, but I remembered Ponyboy's words, and it calmed me down.

She stabbed me on my shoulder with the needle, the same shoulder that Ponyboy put his hand on, and I felt warmth spread in my arm and in my chest toward my heart, and my vision was getting blurry again, and I let it.

Everything was dark, but for the first time since I was in prison, it was peaceful.