I work with Super Sexy for the rest of the day handling the few calls that come in that day in between Skyping sessions with Jones. Ferg and Ruby fall back into our normal fold which means we don't talk about it. We do that thing unique to the West. We move on.
As darkness falls across the plain I head home fighting the desire, the need really, to see him and touch him, to comfort him, and to love him.
Checking my cell phone for the millionth time there aren't any messages and no missed calls. He needs his space, I get that, he needs to do what he has to as he and only he can peel back the layers of this mystery.
For just a second, I think of heading to the Pony and as much as I can use Henry wisdom and his friendship I don't want Walt to think I was checking up or chasing him for that matter. That would be wrong. We are at the crossroads that I have known all along existed though I never would have imagined we would get there this way at this time.
The night rolls into day and we continue our routine of non-communication. Jones and Super Sexy do their FBI thing and Ferg and I process the data they send to us putting together the paper trail.
It's extensive but there are still pieces missing. The biggest piece is the motive. The why? So far, none of it is illegal and just all speculation. None of it ties back to Branch. There's nothing that proves murder, absolutely nothing.
"Is this all for nothing?" Ferg asks me and there's sadness in his voice I've never heard before.
"It's can't be, Ferg." I try to reassure him but I hear the sadness in my voice too.
Having reached my limit, a limit that is a thousand times greater than just three months ago, I walk over to Ruby and she looks at me. The softness of her blue eyes filled with so much concern. She takes my burden from me, "I haven't heard from him, but when he is ready we will know."
"Thank you, Ruby." That is all I can really say but it is a thank you for so much more.
"Vic," she reaches over and her hand brushes past mine, "No matter what, Walter will forge ahead. He will never give up and that makes him a hard man sometimes."
I shake my head in understanding, "I don't want to change him."
"But you may need to get in his way once in a while."
My head cants to the side as I try to process her words.
Ruby stands up, sits on her desk, and looks up at me, "A man that can bury the pain he did for so long has depths that we will never understand." She pauses as she chooses her words.
"Sometimes it will seem like there's no room for you, Vic."
I look at her and I don't know why I'm surprised when I knew that she knew but I am, "How did…"
"I'm not blind. I've known that man his entire life and I raised him from the time he was a baby Deputy. We may not be blood but he's mine."
Her hand is on my arm this time, "Just like he hid the pain of Martha's murder from all of us he has hidden the love he has for you but in both cases it seeps out of him when he's least expecting it and you only notice if you're paying attention."
"Loving him is hard, Ruby." The words are out of my mouth before I have a chance to stop them. My candor surprises me and I begin to step away from her desk.
"Vic." She says softly with kindness.
"If he's worth having he's worth fighting for." She says it plain.
"I'm fighting a ghost, Ruby. A ghost." I say careful that our words stay just between us but imploring her understanding.
I look over and Ferg and Super Sexy are deeply engrossed in their conversation completely oblivious to one of the most important conversations of my life.
"She loved him." She looks at me unwaveringly, "She loved him her whole life and when he came back from college I don't think either one of them spent a day apart."
The lump in my throat is back and it's doing its job by keeping my mouth shut.
"I think he always felt guilty, he still feels guilty, about the sacrifices Martha and Cady made because he was a Deputy and then the Sheriff." She looks up at the ceiling like she's remembering the time past, clicking through her virtual calendar of events.
"When he was a young buck he didn't know the toll it would take and Lucian was, well Lucian, in his own way he tried to guide him and let him know but I saw the strain it had on him and on her but they never gave up on each other. When she died, you know before we knew how, I thought I would lose him forever."
I reached out and patted her shoulder the lump in my throat even greater.
"It's only after he told us about Denver that I really understood his grief and his pain about being just as committed to being the Sheriff as he was to her." She looks down at her hands resting in her lap then back up at me.
"Walt feels guilty about not being with her in Denver and working a case instead." I say.
My eyes search hers as if they need confirmation.
"If being the Sheriff had anything to do with her murder I don't know what he will do." She says it plain my worst fear now audibly floating in the air.
"He once told me that a man never should take more than one oath at a time." She looks at me, her piercing blue eyes radiating; "Now you both have to navigate the oaths you've taken and how you do that and come out on the other side I don't know."
"Maybe it's time for me to get in his way?"
"Maybe?"
I lean over and hug her and she hugs me back and it's a good hug about four years in the making.
"Vic," I hear Ferg's voice full of energy, "It turns out there was a wire transfer to Big Pines Timber in April of 2013 from Connally Construction. Big Pines Timber then makes a political contribution of $100,000 to the political action committee in support of Branch Connally for Sheriff just a week later."
"That's how Branch was able to afford all of those commercials." I say.
"I always thought Barlow just paid for them. It's no secret they are one of the wealthiest families in the state." Ferg says
"Branch and his dad never really saw eye to eye. You know that Ferg." I say as Super Sexy listens.
"Well, it's the first call he made when he was off the rails, I know that, too." Ferg says firmly and he's right.
At that, I turn and grab my jacket, and head for the door.
"Where are you going?" Ferg questions the exasperation evident.
"To see a man."
