Chapter 29
Anya Eden
That morning, the last morning, was a very shocking but an oddly calm acceptance of what had happened.
My sister left us; for some reason she felt she had caused all our issues, like she had been the reason for all the lab crap. She wasn't. I love her dearly but sometimes she can be a drama queen. Drama queen isn't the right word though...I mean she blames herself for things she couldn't have caused.
The truth is that I believe I drove her away, the way I acted that day when I saw her kissing Night. I'm okay with it now, and I should've been from the start, but I suppose it's too late now.
Blaze found the note, and after I read it, I asked him why he wasn't crying. He told me that he would miss her but this isn't the first time she's run away, and that she'd be back. I hugged him and told him that I hoped so. I also hoped he didn't feel the tears that left my eyes and landed in his hair.
Shadow seemed affected but he didn't cry. Only pain crossed his face when he took in what the note said. He departed for a few days after that, saying that he would track her for me, even though I told him not to.
"She wants to go and she asks that we don't look for her," my voice cracks, "I'm not going. This is her wish and I respect that. We can't make her live her life with us if she doesn't want to." Tears started streaming down. "She...she doesn't want us anymore." I was glad it was just Shadow and I in the room, I would've hated for the others to see me cry.
"It's okay. Phantina is just hurt. That's all, I'll go get her and we will all be together again." He touched my arm then flew out of the window, searching for my sister, who didn't want to be found.
Night took it the hardest, but instead of breaking things, he merely zoned out and the violet in his eyes glossed over, like he wasn't in reality anymore, like he endlessly was looking for a state of happiness. He hardly speaks anymore, and when he does, it's random little sentences like, "It looks nice outside today..." and he would just go to stare out of the window. I think he imagined flying with her when he did that. I wonder if he remembers how to fly because he vowed not to fly until she came home and her wings were better.
Time passes though, and wounds heal. But for me, there was a scar on my heart that hurt constantly, whenever I thought about her. I used that pain to make me stronger. And it has.
1 month since Phan's departure
Shadow had only found some blood those first few days and he I.D. chip buried somewhere in the forest a mile or so away. She left obvious signs to its whereabouts. After finding this out, I quickly etched mine out of my skin, clamping my teeth down through the pain, fighting through it. There, now the scars on our wrists will match.
We tried to have fun with little success. I had Night shave his face because fur had started to grow and I knew Phantina wouldn't like that. I knew she wouldn't come back, but why should I crush my brother's dreams? I wouldn't. Ever.
2 months pass
Blaze has grown an inch or two taller but I still look down at him. His voice has begun to squeak less and his face losing a tad of his baby roundness. He still speaks in German, but less often. Sometimes I catch him in his room clutching the book Phan read to him close to his chest, tears in his eyes. I leave him, I don't want to embarrass him and he needs to work through this on his own. He's growing up...this thing is part of life: Disappointment.
3 months pass
Night's hair is an inch or two longer, his face still somber. I hug him often, trying to bring him back to reality. The closest I got was one time when Blaze and Shadow were out hunting, I confronted Night. I didn't say a word, I just cried as I hugged him. He hesitated at first, but slowly wrapped his arms around me and I felt moisture tap my shoulder frequently. We didn't speak, nor did we want to. Not so long ago we lost one of the most important things in our lives. Only Night and I can truly miss her. She was my sister and his first love, I only hoped he would get over her; she ripped out his personality, as well as his heart, when she left.
4 months
Blaze started sprouting up like a bean pole, now looking me in the face. He started to hold things higher than me so I couldn't reach what I wanted. I would've been mad at him the time he held my bra away from me, but the grin on his face was too adorable to get angry.
Shadow and I slept, only slept, together sometimes, other times I chose the roof. Most of the time I chose the roof, I was able to see the stars and count them until I fell asleep. Shadow and Blaze caught on to my ritual and eventual used the roof as their bed too. Blaze brought his pillow and blanket up there, and handed them to me. I told him I didn't need it but thanked him for it. He told me to use them and when I did, he would snuggle up next to me, along with Shadow, and we would cocoon on the roof for the night. Eventually Night did join us, but he always slept a few feet away, without a blanket or pillow, just his hands folded behind his head.
5 months
Shadow asked if we all wanted to move, seeing that the place only reminded us of Phan. She had left all her art there, and her clothes. I had to lock her drawer in the being because of Blaze. I said I'd be fine with it, Blaze was hesitant, but Night was against it completely.
"What if she comes back and we aren't here?!" Night said, showing the most emotion I have seen over the last five months.
"She...she'll find us I'm sure" Blaze said softly, pain in his voice for Night.
"She will find me," he points at himself, "because I'm not leaving!"
I walked up to him and hugged him again, "You have to, dear, and it's what's healthy for us. If we are to see her again, we will see her. But she's never coming back here." I said the words I had vowed not to, and I felt him convulse in my arms and I felt his heart break at that moment. I don't believe he has said much more since then.
6 months
We had found the place we were going to go. Something about Orlando, Florida seemed to pull me there, like a magnet. We were able to go under aliases in order for myself to rent us an apartment. I, to the public eye, was now known as Lenora Smith, and I was now taking care of my 3 brothers. Shadow was now Shawn, Night now Nick, and Blaze now Blake. We tried to keep the names close, but Annie just wasn't my style.
We lived in a two room apartment, the boys getting one room, and I the other. It was a cozy little set up but nothing like the mansion, which I somewhat missed. I managed to get myself a driver's license, somehow I pulled it off and now my face and my faux name, Lenora Smith, were printed on a plastic card that verified my right to drive. I needed the license since Night wouldn't fly, which meant none of us have been doing a lot of flying.
Blaze got a job at a book store, and I'm afraid he will find the wrong books to read on his breaks. His reading has improved quite a lot, I used phonics with him and he picked it up fast. The scientists used phonics for Phantina and I, so that's how I know how to read.
Shadow does his own thing while Night mostly stares off into space, his hands often folded in his lap. I got a job at a clothing store in the mall, even though I didn't know much about fashion. They teach me quite a bit about it and I change my style. I wear capris with many different colors in tank tops. I often dress in a black tank top with my cameo capris, and a jacket for obvious reasons. The black armlet that sits on my upper arm compliments me well; I wear a necklace with a "P" in silver molding resting just above my breasts. People often thought my name starts with a "P", so I started wearing an identical necklace with an "A" on it and just ignored people's questions about it.
7 months
My hair is now past my mid back, resting above my butt. Night's is getting longer too; he never brushes it so I have to. I went to the store and bought some violet thread and a rubber band. I made him a hair tie, and pulled his hair back into a ponytail, satisfied that it now would stop tickling me whenever I would sit next to him.
Shadow's hair is longer too, his may be longer than Night's but not by much. He refused to let me pull it back into a ponytail. He told me that if I can wear mine down, he can too. I dropped the argument not long after that; there was no convincing him. Blaze was the only one to keep his hair the same, he had started wearing a bandana in it though, one side of it covering up his eye, always making his wicked grins even more adorable.
We never really spoke of Phantina, for Night's sake, but one time that month, we all, save Night, who was out on his own, huddled together and spoke of the night the ghost stories were told, and how we found her in Night's, well my bed, that morning. We all got teary-eyed but I held mine back, Shadow too, though Blaze let a tear or two go.
8 months
Night walked past me and reached for my hand. I took it and followed him to the balcony of the apartment. We stood quietly for the longest time when he looked at me, still holding my hand.
"I want to...thank you for comforting me." He looks away, I startled a little bit because hearing his voice had become such a rarity.
"You're welcome. I know how you feel, I miss her too," was all I could bring myself to say.
"You've done more for me than you can imagine. I wouldn't trade you for the world. You've stuck by me through all of this and I'd like to let you know I won't let you down either. I was wrong to not trust you in the beginning, you truly do care...thank you; you are like a sister." I hugged him and then went to sit on the railing of the balcony.
"You know, it used to keep me up at night," I said softly.
"Me too," is all he said and we resumed our silence.
9 months
Blaze was now standing over me, and he would often rest his chin on my head. Hold me from behind, and wrap his arms around my waist. I used to pop him for it but it didn't faze him so I just let him. Shadow was another story; he didn't like it at all. He would punch Blaze each time he saw him do it, I think that was when it became a game for Blaze. Shadow was still taller than Blaze, but only by a few inches, so they might be evenly matched.
One night that month it hit me. I am the only female in the flock now. I couldn't help but consider Phantina not a part of us anymore. She hasn't contacted us, she just up and left so that felt like resignation to me.
"Guys," I said the next day, "I'm the only girl here now. I've never thought about it before."
"That's because you fit in, just like you're one of the guys," Blaze said in a deep voice.
"I will never get used to your voice Blaze, it's so different," I said, bewildered.
"Different as in...sexy?" Blaze said, his perverted smirk manlier than boyish now.
"Shut up." Shadow sighed and took his bowl to the kitchen to rinse it out.
"Why? She likes it! I hear her talk about me all the time in her dreams!" He waggled his eyebrows.
Night, from the chair next to him, swiftly punched him and glanced at me slightly, winked with a smirk and went back to staring out of the window.
"Ouch you s—" I tuned Blaze out when Shadow came back, a displeased look on his face.
"What is it?" I asked once I had grabbed his arm and pulled him out to the balcony.
"Things are so different. That's all." He looked away.
"Different doesn't always mean bad. She didn't want us, how can we be mad about that?" I asked softly, the scar on my heart heating up.
"You don't think she's ever coming back do you?" he asked, looking into my eyes.
"No, I don't think she is coming back. She is having a good time in her life. I can feel it. She isn't worrying about the labs anymore. She's happy, I just feel it. I would feel if anything happened to her. I felt it the morning she left; I felt it in my wrist." I tapped the scar.
"She left for good, huh?" He looked at me with a somber expression.
"Yes, though I wish with all my heart she'd come back, I think if we saw her right now, it wouldn't change anything."
10 months
Night smiles more often, but it's mostly at things I say that I'm sure aren't funny at all.
Blaze had got me in a room alone one time, and since he is bigger than I am now, he thought he would be the boss of me.
"So, Girlie, what should I do with you?" he asked, walking me into a corner.
"You can back up a little bit," I said, not sure if he was playing or not.
"No, I prefer to be closer." He pressed himself against me and kissed my neck.
"Blaze, please don't do this. It's not like you." I remained oddly calm through this; I knew he was just going through a lonely stage in his life.
"It is exactly like me, you know I've always wanted you or your sister. But you stayed with us so I have decided I want you, only you, forever. Can't we be happy? Please Anya?" He breathed against my neck, sending soft pleasurable shivers down my spine. He smiled at this.
"You see? You like it. It's okay, it will be amazing." His hands started to explore and he kissed the side of my mouth.
"Blaze, this can't happen. I'm sorry." I knew I was blushing and my voice sounded exasperated.
"Why? Is it me? Am I just unattractive to you?" He asked but kept kissing me, his mouth brushing over mine.
"No…that's not it," I couldn't believe he asked that, ever since he went through puberty he had become a very attractive young man, but I couldn't help but see him as a little boy standing next to me.
"Then why?" He kissed me before I could pull away, and he forced my lips apart. I shoved him back after the few seconds it took to realize what he was doing with his hands.
"You're too pushy! You don't give the girl a choice! You just kissed me when I'm supposed to be with Shadow, how is that right of you?" I pulled his hands from my rear end and placed them in front of him.
"I'm sorry. I just...I just think I love you. I love you in more ways than one. You've done so much for us I wanted to repay you." He looked down.
"I will always be here for you," I said, patting his shoulder. "You don't have to repay me, but you can't repay me in this way. It's not what I want right now."
"So...there is hope for the future?" He asked, his face showing a trade of hope.
I couldn't dash his ego so I just smiled and left the room.
11 months
I had decided to change my style just a little bit more. I would tattoo my body. Somewhere only I would see. I told the boys because I had decided not to keep anything from them a long time ago. Shadow said he wants a tattoo as well and Blaze wanted to get his chest pierced. He would look at me and raise his eyebrows every time he mentioned it. I would always stick my tongue out at him playfully which seemed to brighten his mood.
We found a tattoo parlor which also did piercings. Shadow asked if I was sure about this and I told him I was each time he asked. I even showed him my scar on my wrist as proof I could handle pain.
I decided on getting a tattoo with a set of angel wings and an elegant "A& P" in the middle of them on my ankle. I also got a heart on my lower back with an "S" in it. Shadow was over looking at the other designs so I'm glad he didn't see me get the second tattoo.
He got a dragon on his back, on his left shoulder blade. Blaze did get one of his pecks pierced and I decided to tease him about it, I mean he got the pink of his chest pierced, I found that amusing.
Night didn't get anything done he just sat next to me and held my hand through each painful procedure, though I've felt worse things in my life.
One year exactly since my sister left
One year since I've seen my sister, one year since I've lost the opportunity to hug her, this exact day is the anniversary.
My hair is a deeper red now, I don't know why but it is. Night still wears the tie I made him, keeping his mid length hair in one line down his back. Blaze has grown one more inch, only an inch or two behind Shadow and Night. I am beginning to feel short.
Shadow interrupts my thoughts as he enters my bedroom, stroking my shoulders as he speaks, "What do you say we all go out somewhere, to the mall maybe?" He asks, tracing circles in my skin.
"Sounds like fun, let's go get Night and Blaze." I turn and smile at him; how I have missed him. He is starting to act normal again. He did act closed up for a long time, only a few times did I ever get him to open up too, though he did take it better than Night.
"Not after this," Shadow bends in to kiss me, my lips parting as if the kisses had never stopped.
"I'm glad you're receiving this, I missed it so much." He says when he pulls away.
"Me too," I say softly, wondering if it has been me that's been closed up, as we leave my room.
Everyone agrees to go, Night in more of a somber mood today. He knows it's the anniversary of her departure, so it must be rough on him.
The day is a long one, Blaze had quit the bookstore because he ran out of things in their adult section to read, and now he has little money, so he kept begging me to get him stuff. Sometimes his inner child still does show.
We ate in the food court, though Night only picked at his food. We were used to that now; his clothes had really loosened on him over the past year. His appetite is just a ghost of its former self.
We left the inside of the mall and went to the center of it, where there was no roof and it looked more like a fancy shopping district more than a mall.
We walked down the street, Blaze and Shadow flanking me, Night behind us as usual, the pain of Phantina's absence still affecting him, though he smiles on occasion.
Blaze smiles down at me when he realizes I'm looking into his maturing face, he is a foot taller than I am. I start to say something when I catch a familiar scent in the air. I haven't smelt that scent in a while, a year to be exact. I know who it belongs to. I blanch a little and hope Night doesn't notice it. Of course he notices; his face lights up with a guarded hope as he runs past me.
"Is it her?" he asks quietly.
"Don't, Night don't worry about it." I look back at him.
I know exactly where she's at: over in that coffee shop, with two people I don't recognize, and I know that she doesn't want to be found. I feel her eyes on me, and even though she would rather me not see her, I couldn't help but let her know we are fine, and I look over to meet her gaze. A longing expression crosses her face but disappears just as quickly when I smile very slightly, nod and continue walking down the street to find anywhere to escape to.
I can't deal with this right now, I can't see her. She's made her choice, I'll let her keep it, I think as I calmly walk away from my sister and her two friends that I assume are ogling after us.
"It was her!" Night says to me, grabbing my arm.
"Yes. It was." I keep walking only to stop when he stands in front of me.
"Why don't we go get her?" he asks, bewildered.
"Night, she saw us. I looked her right in the eyes and she looked right back into mine. She didn't come to us. She didn't want to come to us. She still doesn't want us. You can go see her if you want but it will only rip the off scab that has formed over the wound." I look him in the eyes, my arms crossed.
"But...how do you know she recognized us? We do look different you know." He gestures to all of our clothes and he grabs his ponytail, demonstrating its length.
"She knew it was me alright?! Plus I'm sure she is long gone now. She had friends with her. It wouldn't surprise me if she's running again. I'm telling you, she doesn't want us. Wait...maybe she doesn't want me, you guys go talk to her then, ok?" I start walking away, worried that maybe it is me all along.
Blaze and Shadow follow me, Night turns in the opposite direction. Well it's his choice and only heartache will ensue, I think as I bat the tears from my eyes.
Night
This is it; this is what I've waited for, I can finally see her again. She will see how much I miss her and she'll realize how important she is to us...to me.
I turn the corner back to the coffee shop, following her scent. She smells of cherry blossoms, and I'll make sure she knows that when I can hold her again.
I go to the door, still seeing her inside, though she is now at a booth with her new friends, one a Goth looking chick and the other one a male that was feeling for a menu as if he were blind. I start to pull the door open when I see the male reach across the table and feel for Phantina's chest.
"Come on Rose, just one squeeze!" he whines. My expert hearing picks it up.
"Oh stop it Farris, you know if you were good then maybe...who am I kidding, that will never happen. Nice try though!" She teases him, to which he folds his arms and closes his eyes.
I let go of the door handle, angry that she seems so happy without me. I walk by the window determined to find the others again when the Goth chick looks at me, I glare as flick her off and continue walking. I get angrier when I pick up her voice giggling, "Hottie has an attitude. I like it...maybe I should—"
I start running to get away, I hate this. Why does she have to be in the same city I am if I can't even see her, if I can't have her? She doesn't care, Anya was right! I am such a fool! I decide to turn into a restaurant and sling myself into a booth.I'm not eating, I just want to be alone, and that's what I tell the waitress when she asks me.
Anya
Seeing her has taken more of a toll on me than I thought it would have if I ever saw her again.
"I've got to put her out of my mind," I grumble when Shadow asks me what's wrong.
"Oh, I see. Can't we just go hang out at the beach?" He changes the subject.
"Sure. Let's find a private beach so I can wear a bikini," I walk into the nearest swim suit shop here.
"Awesome! Let me grab some swim trunks for both of us Shadow." Blaze walks over to the boys section.
"Sure thing..." Shadow follows me and picks up some bikinis, matching them up and telling me what would look good on me.
"Red is your color." He holds a maroon bikini up to me, black flower designs on both pieces.
"Sure, that one looks good." I smile at him and give him a peck on the cheek.
I buy my bikini and wait outside for Blaze to come out with the trunks.
"Done!" He walks out, holding both swim trunks up like trophies.
"How did you pay for that?" I ask suspiciously.
"Money. Duh." He stands next to me.
"I thought you said you didn't have money!" I yell.
"I just didn't want to spend my money." He smiles sheepishly.
I decide to let it go when Shadow speaks up.
"Who does the "Mickey Mouse" trunks belong to?" he grunts.
"You of course. I get the black ones. Duh," he repeats.
"You little twerp!" Shadow walks up to him with his chest bowed up.
"Not so little anymore, huh?" Blaze looks at him, his eyes almost aligned with Shadow's.
"Hey! Guys! Shush! It's okay Shadow, I like Mickey Mouse." I smile at him and step in between them, holding the Mickey trunks up and raising my eyebrows.
"Fine, you better be glad she likes it," Shadow sneers at Blaze, who just scoffs in his face and wraps his arms around me, resting his chin on my head.
I sigh, "You boys give me a headache sometimes, do you know that?" I stroke Blaze's arms at my waist.
Shadow pulls me out and we continue walking down the street, heading towards the beach. The boys flank me again, as if we were a wolf pack.
"I wonder where Night is," Blaze says absently when I walk out from the changing room.
"Maybe he is talking to her. Maybe she didn't run" I say softly, looking at the bathing suit in the mirror.
A whistle comes from behind me.
"Stop it, Blaze," I say, still turning side to side.
"It wasn't me," Blaze says, holding his hands up.
Shadow walks up next to me.
"It was you?" I ask.
He just grins and stands proudly next to me in his Mouse trunks.
"I'm glad you found this private beach. Looks like no one has been here for years, the changing room is full of spiders." I smile and look at the boys.
"Yeah, I uh decided to change out on the beach. I wasn't going into the guy's side, there was a huge roach living in there, he is the size of Blaze's ego," he teasingly says.
"It is pretty big, isn't it?" Blaze cracks up.
"You were butt naked on the beach?!" I squeak, ignoring Blaze's perverted comment.
"Yep, but know only my mouse is showing," he says cockily.
I look down to see the cartoon mouse's smile spread wide across his front.
"Oh my God." I walk out, laughing with my hand cupped to my mouth.
"Let's get our swim on!" Blaze runs past us and crashes into the waves.
"Yeah! Let's do it!" I spread my wings and take off into the sky, flying out a mile or so into the water, I flip into a dive and grab my knees, still tumbling through the air as I drop into the water below me.
Blaze met me under the water and grabbed my waist like he always does and tickles my belly button. I surge to the surface, sticking my hand out when Shadow takes it, we all fly into the air.
I feel eyes on us as we fly and dive various times into the water. We don't just swim when we go swimming, we fly-swim if that makes sense. Anyways I feel like we are being watched, but I don't care. The gaze doesn't feel evil, it feels longing. Maybe it's Night watching us, though he won't fly like this because of his vow. I immediately feel bad and aim to land on the beach.
"Hey guys..." I say as we land.
"Yeah?" Shadow says.
"What's up?" Blaze lands softly beside me.
"It's getting late, maybe we can sleep here huh? I miss sleeping outside staring at the stars." I plop down onto the dirt, and they both sit next to me.
"Sure, sounds good to me," Blaze says as they both wrap their arms around me, Shadow's around my upper torso and Blaze's around my waist.
Shadow growls but doesn't say anything.
We all lay back and I turn towards Shadow, snuggling into his chest, Blaze turns away from us but keeps his back touching my butt.
"Nice tat..." Shadow whispers after a while, his hand tracing the heart on my lower back, suddenly his hand traces the "S"
"I forgot...I didn't want you to see that..." I say softly, burying my face into his chest, the warmth of it felt so good.
"I like it." He kisses the top of my head, and rests his whole hand on the tattoo. I wince at the freshness of it.
"Does it hurt?" he asks.
"Only slightly," I mumble.
"I'm sorry." He goes to remove his hand but I place mine on his.
"You don't have to move your hand." I smile at him.
"I'm still awake over here," Blaze says, causing my face to turn red.
Shadow sighs, "Let's just sleep." He smiles and kisses me quietly, and we all fall asleep, snuggling closely.
I wake up to a hand stroking where my wings attach to my back, though the hand is neither Shadow's or Blaze's. I look up and gasp as a blonde boy of about seventeen is rubbing my wings.
"Excuse me?!" I jump up, causing Shadow and Blaze to sit straight up.
"I was just admiring your...beauty." He says with a silky smooth voice.
"My...my wings!" I start to flail.
"It's ok! It's ok! See?" He reaches behind him and grabs a tail, pulling it around to the front, "I'm grafted with a monkey." He smiles politely.
"A monkey?" What lab is he from? I think.
"Monkey," he confirms, "don't worry, I saw you here this morning so I decided I would check you three out! I got here a few minutes ago."
"W-who are you?" Shadow wraps his arm protectively around my waist.
"Ziddy. People call me Z though." He smiles and reaches his hand out towards me, and I hesitantly take it.
"We've got a pretty one here, don't we Love?" he asks me with a crooked smile that is surprisingly cute.
"Hey! Hands off!" Blaze hops up, smacking Z's arm from mine.
"Now you know how it feels..." Shadow mumbles and returns his arm around my waist.
"Yeah, but when I'm doing it, it's cute, besides, she likes it and you know it," Blaze says matter-of-factly.
"Whatever," Shadow says, looking this newcomer up and down. "Is it just you? Are there others?"
"Nope, Mate. Just me." I place Ziddy's accent as Australian, "I come from a lab that killed all of their experiments, all except for me. I escaped and now I'm here, looking at three bird experiments who look like they are ready to peck my eyes out."
Night flies down next to us at this moment, his face unreadable. "Who's the Aussie?" he asks nonchalantly.
"His name is Ziddy, and why are you flying?" I say.
"Call me Z." he says.
I keep going, "Never mind that though, did you see her? Did you talk to her? How did you find us? Where did you sleep?" I stop asking the questions because I feel I have just bombed him.
"Don't want to talk about it, don't want to talk about it, your scent is obvious to follow, and I slept on the top of a Wal-Mart somewhere on the other side of town. And I'm flying because I don't give a darn about my vow anymore" Night stretches his black wings and lays back.
"Are there more of you?" Z asks casually.
"No," I say just as Blaze is about to contradict me. Even after everything, I still want my sister protected. I don't know this kid, he could be bad.
"That's too bad; I was hoping they made more girls with wings." He walks closer to me, his tail now wrapping around my leg.
"Would you stop that?!" I swat at his tail. He jumps back playfully.
"We have another Blaze now? Monkey edition." Night tosses a seashell up at him.
"Glad to see you're more talkative now," Blaze grumbles, crossing his arms.
"You guys got a crib?" Z asks, his tail still brushing my legs.
"No, why do you think we were sleeping on the beach?" I ask as I reach back with my fist to punch Blaze's stomach to stop the words coming from his mouth.
"Now that really is too bad, why don't you stay with me? I've got room for one more," he hints suggestively.
"Guys, let's go." I prepare to launch into the air when I feel a tail wrap around my leg.
"Ready when you are." Ziddy smirks.
"Ugh!" I try to shake him off; he only swings back and forth, clearly enjoying this.
"Shadow, a little help?" I call over to him, he already being in the air.
"Got it." He lands and pulls him off.
"That's okay, I'll see you later sweet cheeks!" he calls from the ground as we fly away.
I wonder if we will see her again….did Night talk with her? Why can't I stop thinking about my sister, she never thinks of me. We fly through a nice neighborhood, families out in their yards playing, but we are high enough up they will only think we are birds.
We fly over a pretty big house, four people playing around in the front yard. I look down and watch them, the little girl following the older girl around pretending like she is an airplane. The parents sit in lawn chairs, laughing and sharing a glass of wine together. I realize how fun it must be to have a family, to have that love.
"Rose, come here for a second," I study the older girl as she runs over to her parents, "why don't you and your sister get on the roof so she can see those birds better." They point right at us, causing the girl to look up.
You've gotta' be kidding me. It's Phantina—no, it's "Rose". She's now living like a pampered pooch now, huh? I gaze down at her, knowing she can see me; shock crosses her face when she turns to her "parents".
"I—I don't think they will be flying around too much longer," she says to more than just her parents.
I scream loud enough for only her to hear me, it wasn't a high pitch scream, it was a rage scream.
"Did you guys hear that?" she asks to make sure.
"No? Do you need to go to the doctors?" her "father" asks.
"No, just checking something," she says as I start speeding away and she retreats to the comforts of her home and closes the sliding glass door.
"She really is having a good life. Maybe we should leave before I screw it up..." I say once we are all back at the apartment.
"I understand what you mean, but chance brought us here, so that has to mean something, right?" Shadow asks, sitting down on the sofa.
"I'd like to see her again." Blaze says quietly.
"I can't go see her, not now. I can't mess this up for her." I sigh in defeat, tears welling up in my eyes. "She really is better off without me."
"That's not true. She loves you still, I'm sure." Night pats my shoulder, his face still somber but looking connected to reality.
"She just looks at me like I'm a stranger," I say, wiping my eyes, the tears coming more easily.
"She probably doesn't know what to think. You've changed since the last time she saw you," Shadow says as he walks over to me, "your hair is longer," he flips it around in his hand, "your face more mature," he grasps my chin in between his index finger and thumb, "your stride more confident," his face rests just inches before mine, "your personality is brighter than ever before."
"Shadow is right, you've changed and she may be afraid you've changed how you feel towards her. She must think you hate her." Blaze grabs my hair and starts playing with it.
"We all look different. And so does she…" Night starts to slip back into his hopeless dream world.
"No! Don't leave us again!" I snap, pulling him back into the room with us.
"Huh?" Night asks, sitting down on the sofa.
"Just stay with us, okay? Don't leave again." I say.
"I don't know what you mean." He starts looking mopey again.
"Night!" I freak out.
"Gee Anya, I'm just kidding!" He laughs but pain is clear in his face.
"Quit playing games," Blaze says.
"Coming from the kid who is an expert at playing games?" Shadow looks at Blaze with a grin.
"Shuddup! Du dummer Mensch!" Blaze retorts. Meaning: You stupid person! (German)
"Ambos tienen que dejar de hablar ahora mismo!" I shout. Meaning: you both need to stop talking right now! (Spanish)
"Wh-what?" Blaze asks, cocking his head to the side.
"You know German. I know Spanish, somewhat." I smirk.
"Sexy." Is all he says and resumes playing with my hair.
"Guys, her 'parents'….one thing I heard them say bothered me. I honestly don't think Phantina misses me at all." I curb the subject back to the original one.
"What's that?" Night says, immediately intrigued.
"They told her to take her sister to do something. Her sister. She replaced me, with a new sister. A normal sister. I told you she doesn't want me anymore." I sigh, slouching down onto the couch next to Night.
"You don't know that. She can't help that her 'parents' had a child that happens to be a girl. She isn't really Phantina's sister." Blaze walks over to sit on the coffee table in front of the sofa.
"Rose's sister," I say matter-of-factly.
"What?" Shadow asks.
"Her name is no longer Phantina, it's Rose," Night says softly.
"And she now wears lipstick redder than Blaze's hair," I say, remembering her face today.
"I saw her today in the coffee shop after you three left. I didn't go in though. I kept walking," Night says quietly.
"So you didn't talk to her?" I inquire.
"I didn't say that." Night looks away.
I decide to drop the subject, tears welling up in his eyes.
"I could eat." Blaze tries to change the subject.
"What should we do for dinner?" Shadow says.
"Maybe we could go to that new Chinese place here?" I ask softly, still sniffling.
"Anything you want," Night says as he hops up from the couch and heads towards the door
We arrive at the restaurant and find a booth in the back, a little Chinese lady comes to ask us for our orders.
I grin at Night, who is now making an attempt at finishing his plate. "Your food looks so good." I smile even wider at him.
He gestures at me with his chopsticks and looks at Shadow. "Is she okay?" he speaks through bits of chicken in his mouth.
"I think so," Shadow nudges me. "You alright An?" He grins.
"I'm fine." I sigh and slurp another noodle into my mouth.
"This is so good!" Blaze says while eating some unidentifiable object on a stick.
"Glad you like it, it looks so gross." I drop my chopsticks, my appetite lost.
"Nope! It's delicious." I look away as I hear a nasty sucking sound.
"Dude, that is so gross," Shadow and Night say at the same time.
I tune out their conversation to look out the window, watching people pass by casually. Couples pass, families pass, even joggers with their dogs pass. I wonder how they live like that, just walking, and no flying. It would be torture. That must have been how Phan felt, not being able to fly. I wonder if she is getting along with her friends. What do they do for fun? Flying is really the only fun thing I know of. The restaurant disappears before my eyes and all I see is my mind, she really is having the best time of her life….she doesn't have to run anymore….I bet she doesn't regret a bit of it….why did I have to screw up? I'm such an idiot. My sister left because I kept her from happiness. She had to leave me to find it, and that's just what she did.
I realize I must be crying when Shadow nudges me softly, "It's okay, everything will be alright. All will be better one day."
"But don't look now." Blaze drops his stick and rests his face in his hands.
"Ugh, are you serious? And just when we started to calm her down." Shadow looks towards the entrance.
"What?" Night and I both turn our heads.
There she is opening the door, her two friends following her, all three of them laughing.
"Should we leave?" I start to rise, but Shadow puts his hand on my knee, sitting me back down.
"No, we don't have to leave. She doesn't own this restaurant, so we can stay. If she notices us, she notices us. That's all. We don't run." Shadow smiles at me confidently.
"Oh! It's the owner's daughter! Hello Rose!" one of the waitresses calls to her, and she responds with a smile.
"Well, what do ya know? She does own this place." Blaze folds his hands behind his head and leans back.
She sits across the restaurant from us, still not noticing us. It's better this way, I start to think when I hear a sharp intake of breath.
"There's that hot guy from before." The girl's voice strikes my ears with certainty she was referring to one of the males in my party.
"D-don't stare at them. It's very rude, Jade," Phantina says, and when I glance back at her, her eyes open widely.
"What are you guys looking at?" The male, obviously blind, inquires of the two girls.
"Chill Rose, I was just admiring that guy with the long black hair over there. I think if he got a few piercings, it would be like he was made for me." She waggles her eyebrows.
Night instantly stiffens, "Why do we keep seeing her? Why are the fates torturing us?" I ask, feeling anger start to rise deep inside me.
"I don't know, but I definitely know that she sees us. She is looking at me right now." Blaze smirks, and I catch him pulling the bottom of his eyelid down and sticking his tongue out at her.
I reach across the table to smack his hand, "Don't embarrass her! Her friends can't know we know her!"
"Look, the red head notices you. He's staring right at you, making an awkward face." The one named Jade starts taxing on my nerves.
"Blaze, stick your tongue back in your mouth!" I shout a little too loudly, a few heads turn to stare. "Oh crap." I figure that I don't care anymore, that I won't be forced into muteness. "I said stick your tongue back in your mouth Blake!" I use his public name this time to cover up my mistake, and I reach over to shove his tongue in his mouth, and he bites my finger.
"Ouch! What the heck is wrong with you?" I ask, bewildered.
"Nothing, you just taste good." Blaze clicks his teeth together again.
"Stop it, Blake," Shadow snaps.
"Cool it, Shawn," Blaze emphasizes his fake name.
"Don't make me cross this table!" Shadow threatens.
"You guys, I'll meet you outside." I stand up, sorrowful that Night hadn't finished his food, and he is now looking anywhere but at her table. I walk up to the waitress who happens to be standing right at their table.
"The table I was just at is ready for the check." I flip my hair around my shoulder so it all is behind my back, resting right above my butt.
"Whose voice is that?" the blind boy asks his friends softly.
"How am I supposed to know?" Jade says and Phantina just stays quiet.
I bend down and place my hand on his shoulder, "I'm no one, Dear. Just a stranger." I smile and my eyes flicker to Phantina, "Enjoy your meals."
"Was she pretty?" The blind boy pats his shoulder where my hand was. I don't hear the reply because I'm already out the door, hopping into my little junky beat down car, waiting for my boys to join me.
When we get home, Blaze walks into my room and plops down onto my bed, "You think that Phantina will beat us if we keep seeing her?" he asks.
"Nah, she looks kind of astonished whenever she sees us. I think we should avoid her though; she may try to run again. As long as I know she is safe, she doesn't have to claim me." I smile down at Blaze; his returning smile melts my heart.
"You're right, me making faces at her like that was wrong," he chuckles, "but you talking to her friend, like that was worse!" he bursts out laughing.
"Maybe so, but I felt I had to make my presence known, that I know she is here too but she knows that I'm not calling her out and ruining her cover. I feel like she'd be angry, and she would dislike me even more." I smile at his laughter.
"She doesn't dislike you," Blaze stops laughing and pulls me into a hug, "it's not that, so stop it." He surprises me at how mature he is acting.
"We will see, don't give me false hope, Blaze." I mumble into his chest.
"I am not, just go to sleep, okay?" Blaze lays me down into the bed, covers me up and leaves.
That night I only dream of Phantina's face as she walked into the Chinese restaurant, the smile and serenity clear on her face.
