Chapter 29: Fiery Destiny
Homura didn't believe in coincidences. If one there was one thing living through a thousand timelines had taught her, it was that almost everything happened for a reason. Why else did Mami always die, Kyouko always sacrifice herself, and Madoka always elude the very tips of her fingers? No, it had to be fate. It was a painful thing to think about, because it meant that she had never been meant to save Madoka; no, the girl had to save herself, in the end.
Then again, as she shakily forced herself to stand up by grabbing onto the side of the doorframe of Mami's apartment, Homura knew that this wasn't entirely a coincidence, either. There was a reason why she was here, watching Mami quietly sob to herself, kneeling somberly on the cold wooden floor where she had collapsed. There was a clear cute purpose to all this. There had to be.
Closing her eyes, she took a deep, shuddering breath before attempting to move again. It was strange, but for some reason she felt weaker than she already was, as if Kyouko absence had drained all the strength from her bones. But that didn't make any sense. She needed some concrete reason to exert herself; otherwise her logical side would kick in again, and she would likely settle for rotting away on the floor again.
Anger. That would suffice.
Lifting her eyelids, the girl's irises flashing with a sort of wild light, Homura took several more steps into the apartment, keeping one hand to the wall for support. She walked until she was standing in front of Mami, the blonde still staring quietly at the floor, her frail looking shoulders shaking slightly with the remnants of her tears. Homura thought that she looked horribly similar to her hospital days. Whenever Kiku left her in some way, the blonde became a wreck. The thought made the shield user sneer. If Mami needed the brunette so badly, why the hell couldn't she treat the girl better?
Letting go of the wall, she squatted in front of Mami and pushed her on the shoulder. "Get, up, Mami."
The girl remained silent, but shook her head in response. The sun seemed to be hiding behind a wall of brooding clouds; the entire room looked gray and lifeless, even the fat tears that were staining the hardwood floor, as if the blonde were weeping dust. Gray, insubstantial, dust.
Homura narrowed her eyes at being refused, feeling a fresh wave of anger rising inside her chest. She would have to hold fast to that anger; it was the only thing that could give her the strength to do what had to be done. Reaching up with both hands, she grabbed Mami by both shoulders, shaking her more strongly this time. "I said get up, Mami."
When the blonde tried to shirk away from her, Homura bared her teeth and hauled her senior up with the strength of her arms alone. Mami gasped at being handled so roughly, but the shield user ignored the noise, too busy also ignoring the searing pain in the exhausted arms. Balling her fists up in Mami's collar, Homura shook her once, as hard as she could.
"I said," She whispered, "Get up."
Mami looked sorrowfully up at her, but the time traveler felt zero pity for her. The blonde had no one to blame but herself. Baring her teeth, Homura abruptly let go of the blonde, the girl stumbling backwards at the unexpected move, almost falling back to the floor again. But she never had the chance, because Homura knelt and picked up Kiku's notebook, then seized her by the wrist and started dragging them both to the front door.
"Where-" Mami's voice choked on her tear thickened throat, and she had to swallow before trying again. "Where are you taking me?"
Homura paused as her free hand wrapped around the handle, and the blonde flinched when she turned and glared back at her.
"To the future," She muttered, pushing the door open. "You have an offer to accept."
Homura did not speak another word to Mami afterwards. She was deathly silent as she dragged the two of them out of the apartment and down the steps, stonily hailing a cab that she all but tossed the blonde into. She was similarly mute during the subsequent car ride, staring angrily out the window at something Mami could not distinguish, but was too scared to ask about. The world was terrifying around her now, and Homura was a like a raging beast with the waves of anger she was emanating from her person. Even when she glanced at the shield user's ring, she saw an enraged, flickering light, but it also looked fragile, like it could come apart at any moment.
"I hate you!"
It was the first time in recent memory that anyone had said that to her. Perhaps the first time ever, in retrospect. The words had seemed to ring inside her head, crashing around against the walls of her skull like a loose bullet, striking her numb. Then the girl had turned and fled, running like the apartment was infected by the plague, putting another ounce of hell into Mami's heart with every step she took.
Why had Kiku said that to her? From Mami's perspective, the fight had come out of nowhere; the brunette was rarely in a bad mood, if ever, and even when she was it usually passed easily. In all the years the two of them had been friends, Mami had never seen Kiku react in this way. And the new discovery scared her. It felt like the world around her wasn't so secure anymore, like there were more secrets about herself that she had yet to realize. And Mami hated secrets.
Something seemed to be poking at her ribcage, and Mami put a hand to her chest to find that her heart was beating wildly beneath it. The realization only made her breathing quicken; she was terrified. Why? They were in no immediate danger, and the adrenaline from the argument should have filtered out of her system by now. So why, then, was her heart beating like she had just been running for her life?
"I hate you!"
She was scared, she realized, because what she had thought to be the truth was now revealed to be the lie. As the blonde watched the drab road sweep by through her window, she thought that the part that bothered her the most was that she didn't understand why Kiku was acting this way. Not only that, but the friendship she had thought they had, the connection she had come to assume would always be there, didn't seem so sure anymore. It scared her to think that perhaps her reality was but an illusion. She needed security, she needed to know; yet here she was, wallowing within a mystery. The fight was one thing, but to not know why it had happened, to be at a complete loss as to what had contributed to Kiku's anger, was the true terror.
She didn't know, and it was horrible.
The cab came to an abrupt stop, and Mami looked up to see that they were parked in front of the train station. A loud click sounded to her right, and she glanced over to see that Homura had hastily paid the cab driver already and was now walking around the back of the car, briskly pulling the blonde's door open herself.
"Don't fall asleep on me," Homura said bluntly, reaching in and yanking the girl out of her seat. She slammed the door closed and waved almost dismissively at the cab, not even turning to watch it shift gears and drive away. Sticking one hand out, she grabbed Mami's wrist and led them both into the station, keeping a secure grip on the girl the entire way.
"Ah...Akemi-san," Mami said feebly, feeling the time traveler's harsh fingers leaving the beginnings of bruises on her skin. "It's okay. You don't have to hold on to me so tightly-"
"Yes, I do," Homura interrupted her, voice almost seething. "You're a runner, Mami, a bloody coward. If I let you follow me on your own volition, nothing will ever be fixed. It's time for me to take things into my own hands."
Great, so now Homura was angry at her too. After some brief consideration, Mami realized that she didn't know the cause of this girl's anger, either. Everyone was hideously upset and she had absolutely no idea why. So she remained shamefully silent as they stood in line in front of the ticket booth, never again complaining about the painful fingers around her arm as Homura at last reached the front of the line and requested two tickets for the fastest train to central Mitakihara.
They stood beside each other on the platform ten minutes later, almost choking on the lack of words present between them. There were a few other people waiting on opposite ends of the platform with them, but otherwise they were completely alone; the trains were usually this empty at this time of day. But it made Mami wish that it were the middle of rush hour instead, so that perhaps there would have been some hustle and bustle to fill the deafening silence. It was quiet that she could hear her cells splitting.
As a distant rumble from the deep end of the tunnel signaled the train's arrival, Mami shifted uncomfortably and turned to Homura. "Akemi-san, could you please tell me what is going on?"
"Once we're on the train," The girl said calmly, but Mami could sense the agitation beneath her words, barely restrained.
"Why not now?"
Homura pursed her lips, which ratcheted the blonde's heart rate up a bit more.
"It's harder to run from a moving train."
Mami would have gaped at those words, but the train zoomed in from the tunnel and blasted past them a moment later, its gravity engines bringing the machine to a smooth, noiseless stop. As the steam powered doors hissed aside to admit their entry, Homura set her jaw and led them both inside the first car, purposefully choosing one that the few other passengers wouldn't be in. She needed the two of them to be alone; she didn't envy the thought of yelling in front of strangers.
It was cold inside the train car, the air conditioning turned up to combat the rising temperatures. That was good; it would keep her awake. Her mind was starting to swim, and her hands were losing their once strong grip on Mami's wrist. Her strength was waning. She needed to finish this as briefly as she could.
Though when it came to Mami, things usually became excruciatingly drawn out.
Homura stood still where she was, leaning her back against the windows of the chrome doors, as if waiting for something to happen. A minute later, the gentle hum of gravity engines powering up told her that the train was preparing to move again, and after a moment's patience, the platform began to slip away. But Homura still waited, and only when the train had completely entered the tunnel did she release Mami at last, exhaling in relief. Her arm had been burning from the strain.
Mami lifted her now freed arm and rubbed at it gingerly, frowning at the angry red marked that glared back up at her. She felt a little insulted that Homura was so convinced that she going to run away the first chance she got. She wasn't that much of a coward. She didn't consider herself a coward at all, actually. The blonde didn't know what Homura was planning to do, but she doubted it would be so terrible that she would be tempted to flee.
Homura sighed and pushed herself off the train door, crossing the aisle so that she could gingerly lean into a seat right beneath the air vent. Mami frowned at the girl's back as she moved; the shield user's movements were slow, sluggish, and not in a deliberate fashion. Her movements were almost...soporific. Like she was barely clinging on to consciousness. Homura cleared her throat and made eye contact with the blonde, discreetly waving at the seat beside her. Mami frowned at the offered seat, thinking that something terrible actually would happen to her if she sat in it, but internally gave in. Crossing the aisle, she quietly sat next to Homura.
But even then, the younger girl refused to speak. Instead she stared at the opposite wall, her eyes hard and unforgiving, and most of all not inviting any sort of conversation. Mami could only shiver when the air vent blasted cold air down her spine, and glance nervously from side to side at the completely empty train car. If Homura's intention was to confront her physically, this would be the time. There were no witnesses.
Nevertheless, she was beginning to be lulled into a stupor by the gentle bobbing of the gravity powered train, when Homura at last chose to break her silence.
"Do you know why she ran away from you?" The shield user asked, still burning two holes into the opposite wall with her eyes.
Mami started at the unexpected question, having fully expected to make the entire ride in complete silence. Taking a moment to process the inquiry, she blinked and then sagged, her spine noticeably folding in on itself. She looked away from the time traveler and muttered a single, sour, "No."
"I didn't think you would," Homura sneered, still sounding scathing when her voice lacked the energy and power it usually had. "That's just like you, Mami. Any outsider would assume you to be the kindest and most accommodating of the four of us, but the truth is that you are actually the cruelest among us all."
Mami narrowed her eyes at the poorly veiled insult, gripping the end of her armrest a little tighter. "What makes you say that, Akemi-san? Why are you suddenly being like this? I can't remember the last time you cared to involve yourself with me."
Homura snorted quietly. "You're right. I really don't care about what you do," She said, her honesty a weapon in itself. "And drop the formalities. It doesn't sound polite at all, coming from you."
The older girl blinked, caught off guard by the request. It had become her habit to address most people formally, as she found that it endeared herself to them. No one had ever asked her to ignore formalities for anything other than a positive reason.
"Very well, Homura," Mami said with some difficulty. "If you care so little for me, why are we here?"
The girl in question brought Kiku's notebook up in the air and slammed it back down on the armrest, assaulting the blonde's ears and making her resist the urge to flinch.
"Because I am angry, Mami Tomoe," She growled. She raised the notebook as if she planned to slam it again, but thought better of it and set it down beside her. "I am angry because you're such a complete and utter fool. Not that I wasn't aware of that already, of course, but your stupidity has finally overstepped its bounds. You have hurt someone I consider to be a friend, and I'm tired of sitting by and letting her suffer."
Mami narrowed her eyes, wondering who the shield user could be referring to. "You don't..." Her voice trailed off. "You don't mean Kiku, do you?" She asked, eyes widening.
Homura laughed drily at the blonde's surprise. "Who else could I be talking about? She and I have grown much closer during the past few months. Or perhaps you haven't noticed? She is a very nice girl, Mami. You're lucky to have her."
"I..." Mami murmured, still grappling with the shock. No, she hadn't been aware. She hadn't been aware at all.
"Of course, she has her own problems, and I've grown tired of hearing about them," Homura continued, tapping her finger along the spine of her notebook. The graviton engines hummed lowly beneath their feet, making it feel like the room was filled with ghosts. Dark city buildings flashed past them outside, and the setting sun bled quietly in through the windows. "I'm sure she's tried to tell you too, but you probably weren't listening, were you?"
"Stop beating around the bush," Mami snapped, standing up from her seat. "You keep acting like I ought to know-"
"Oh, I would love to!" Homura hissed, rearing her head back and meeting Mami's eyes with her own smoldering pair. The blonde inhaled sharply at the rage she met there. "And you know what, I think Kiku would prefer that just as much, if not more! You've been forcing her to 'beat around the bush' for ages. You always feel the need to interrupt people, just like you are now, and if you would just shut up and listen for a second then none of this would have happened!"
"What..." Mami stared back at the girl, at a loss for words.
The fire seemed to fade from Homura's eyes then, and she sagged back into her chair, leaning down to pinch the bridge of her nose. "Sit down, Mami," She murmured.
The blonde stared for a moment longer, then obliged, retaking her seat. Once she did, Homura picked up Kiku's notebook and tossed it onto Mami's lap, still clutching her head like she was suffering from a terrible headache.
"What is this?" Mami asked suspiciously, picking it up and turning it over in her hands.
"Just look inside it," Was her blunt response. Frowning, she cracked the notebook open to a random page, eyes scanning its contents.
Her heart rate spiked again.
I tried to tell Mami again today. But I couldn't do it. Just when I brought it up she launched into this stupid thing about another job opportunity she had dug up. It's the third one this week. When is she going to realize that blindly applying everywhere isn't going to get her anywhere. If only she would listen...
A cold sweat was breaking out over her forehead, but she didn't have time to reach up and wipe it away. Shifting her grip on the notebook, Mami braced her thumbs and flipped to another random page, eyes frantically devouring what they found there.
The walls should have cute little pictures of things on them, I think. Olive is a pretty color; Mishki has it on her walls, too, though I think I'd choose a brighter shade than that. I want to run a cheerful place. I'll have to talk to Mami about that too...then again, I have a lot of things I need to talk to her about. I think it's been more than two weeks since I ran into Junko by now. I wonder how long she'll wait before she decides to give the property to someone else? I must be running out of time...
Stupid, stupid Mami...
"What is this?" Mami asked again, her hands cold and blocky. The notebook felt like a living snake in her hands. Her heart felt like a gravity engine all on its own, and she was seating profusely, which didn't make sense considering the air vent was practically blasting her from above. She didn't understand this. She didn't understand any of it.
Homura glanced over at her almost like she was bored. "Three weeks ago, Kiku and I ran into an old acquaintance of mine. A woman named Junko Kaname."
Mami's mouth went dry.
"At the time, Kiku was busy telling me about a dream she had," Homura continued. "It was just a thought at the time, a simple idea. We were at a little cafe in the center of the city, you see, and she was telling me how she wanted to have a place like that one day, with you. There were several superfluous details that I fail to recall. But the important thing is that Junko just happened to be at the table beside us, and when she heard the story she made Kiku an offer."
Mami licked her lips, but her tongue was as dry as her mouth. "What...what kind of an offer?"
Homura pursed her lips. "Apparently, Junko's company owned a small plot of land they had no use for. She was willing to offer it to Kiku for her to do whatever she liked with it, within reason. Of course, she was terribly excited. Her vague fantasy could now become a reality. She wanted to tell you immediately, of course, but you were so wrapped up in your own little world that she never got around to it."
"But that doesn't make any logical sense," Mami protested, waving the notebook between them. "Why a food establishment, of all things? It's so much riskier than getting a standard office job. Don't tell me she didn't think about the economic consequences-"
"Kiku didn't care about the 'economic consequences'," Homura interrupted her, snatching the notebook from the blonde's hands. "All she wanted was to be able to leave the goddam house for once, and have a place where she could work and be with you at the same time. Is that really so much to ask for? Even if it might not be the best monetary decision, does that really make her such a fool? That girl is literally dead to the world, and you were making it worse by forcing her to hide! She was tired of just being next to you, Mami, and she still is. So am I. She wants to live. Kiku wants a life, and she wants you to be part of that life, for some reason I could never comprehend. But it's what she wants."
Mami stared at the notebook in Homura's hands, at the tattered edges and ruined pages. "But why would she want something like that so badly?" She muttered, look down. "Doesn't she understand that I was trying my best for the both of us? I never would have left her, you know. I don't understand why she would need this so badly."
Homura jetted a hot stream of air through her nose, flicking the notebook across the floor. "Don't you understand, you damn fool? She is in love with you!"
Mami's heart stopped.
"...What?"
Kyouko didn't know how long she had been running, but her breathing was ragged.
Turning a corner, she thought she saw a flicker of chocolate brown hair disappearing behind a building. "Hey!" She called out, wheezing slightly as she struggled to keep up. God, she was out of shape. "Stop running, god damn it!"
She hadn't actually had her eyes on Kiku this entire time, but she had been able to detect the girl's magical signature and use that to follow her, deep into the suburban zones of Mitakihara. Part of her had considered taking a break or even giving up altogether. It wasn't as if she had any particular stake in this whole thing. But then Homura's pleading face would always flash through her mind, and she would groan to herself before pushing her body to run faster.
You'd better be worth it, Kiku Hanezawa, she muttered to herself. Abruptly, the speed at which the illusionists's presence was moving drastically slowed. Looking up, Kyouko saw a familiar big hill rising up above her. Kiku must be trying to scale the damn thing.
Unfortunately, that probably meant that the redhead would have to climb up the hill too.
Kyouko swore to herself and fed a little more magical energy into her legs, feeling the fatigue that had built up there suppress itself for a while longer. Of course it would be the hill. Kiku couldn't decide to flee from her sorrows across a nice, downhill plane, could she?
Reaching the bottom of the hill, Kyouko psyched herself up before beginning her ascent. She could feel the brunette's presence at the crest of the hill, completely stationary now that the girl had apparently stopped running, which was just as well. The redhead grunted obscenities to herself as she dragged herself up the hill, her thighs burning from the exertion. She could have taken the flatter path that wound it way around the side of the hill, but that would have taken too long, and she was afraid that Kiku would start running again if she didn't catch up in time. Nevertheless, running straight up the side wasn't such a pleasant experience, either.
At long last, Kyouko reached the top of the hill, throwing her leg over the low fence that ringed the knoll's crest and collapsing onto the grass on the other side, chest heaving. The bristly stalks beneath her were soft and forgiving, and for a moment she wanted to close her eyes and take a good, long nap. And she would have, if Kiku's signature hadn't suddenly begun to move again.
Summoning the last of her energy, Kyouko sprang to her feet, casting her head from side to side. Her eyes finally alighted on a small figure on the other side of the hill, slowly climbing over the fence herself. Hell, was the girl trying to throw herself off the edge? Kyouko's side of the hill was a gradual slope, but she knew that the opposite end that faced the lake dropped off into a sheer cliffside. She didn't think Homura would be very pleased if the redhead ended up bringing back a mangled corpse.
Briefly apologizing to her legs, Kyouko sprinted across the crest of the hill, rapidly closing the distance between herself and Kiku.
"Hey!" She hollered again, waving her arms as little tufts of grass were flattened beneath her rapidly falling feet. "Kiku, wait up!"
The redhead ran until the fence got in her way, slowing down to a complete halt in front of the rickety wall of wood, breathing heavily. Kiku, who had paused at the very edge of the cliff, turned to regard the girl who had chased her all the way up here. The sun was still hiding behind a veil of gray clouds, and the air seemed choked with moisture, like it was about to rain. A thick wind cut between them, whipping up a series of small waves on the surface of the lake far below them. A storm was coming, but Kyouko didn't have time to worry about that right now.
"Listen," She panted, still trying to catch her breath. "Just...just calm down, okay?" She said, realizing how ridiculous that must have sounded, when she was the one chasing this damned girl like a madman. Kyouko reached up and placed one hand on the top of the fence, but didn't make to jump over it, afraid of what Kiku might do if she came any closer.
The brunette in question turned and regarded her with tear stained eyes. "Go away, Kyouko," She muttered, turning back away. "This has nothing to do with you."
"Sorry, but I can't do that," The redhead immediately debunked, crossing her arms over her chest. Kiku frowned back at her, wiping the tears from her face and taking a subconscious step towards the edge of the cliff. She noticed Kyouko's stricken expression when she did, and sneered.
"I'm not going to throw myself off the edge, if that's what you're thinking," Kiku said. "I'm not that stupid."
Kyouko blinked in surprise, some measure of relief blossoming inside of her. "No, I guess you aren't," She agreed. The brunette turned back around, and Kyouko decided to climb over the fence when the girl wasn't looking, throwing her legs over the side and alighting quietly on the grass. She walked slowly towards the illusionist, making sure to make a little noise as she did, not trying be obnoxious but not wanting to catch the girl off guard.
"If wouldn't even die if I did," Kiku muttered to herself, staring dejectedly at her shoes, and at the cold hard ground far below them.
Kyouko finally drew level with the brunette, looking uneasily at the sheer drop that was literal inches in front of her. "No, you wouldn't," She agreed, making a point to look away from the abyss.
Kiku stared angrily at the lake for a while longer, seemingly lost within her own thoughts, then she rubbed roughly at her face again. "Why are you here, Kyouko? What do you want?"
The redhead was caught off guard by the question, finding that she didn't have a real answer to the girl. "I...I just came to make sure you were okay," She muttered at last.
The brunette beside her smiled wanly, her eyes still red from crying. "So now you're suddenly all worried about me?"
Kyouko frowned and looked away uncomfortably, knowing the illusionist had a point; she hadn't exactly acted friendly with her in the past. "Look, it's not like I hate you or anything," She said, feeling like she had to make that clear for starters. "But if you really need to know...Homura asked me to."
Kiku smiled a little wider, then flopped down onto the grass, making Kyouko's heart flutter with the abrupt movement. "I'm guessing she asked you to bring me back?"
The redhead lingered for a moment before deciding to sit down beside the illusionist, drawing her legs in as far as she could away from the cliff. "Yeah."
The older girl pressed her forehead against her knees and turned her head away. "Well, you can tell her you failed. I'm not going back."
Kyouko raised an eyebrow, a little miffed at being blown aside so soon. "Who says that's up to you?" She challenged, crossing her arms over her chest. "If I wanted to, I could knock you out and carry you all the way back home before dinnertime."
"I'm sure you could," Kiku muttered back. "Why don't you, then?"
"Just cause I could doesn't mean I want to," Kyouko pointed out, digging around in her pockets. She found a small pack of gum and popped one into her mouth, chewing thoughtfully on the small sweet square. "I would much rather prefer it if you came along willingly...want one?" She asked, offering the box of gum to Kiku.
The illusionist stared dumbly at the cardboard container. "Um...no, I'm fine," She declined bluntly. Kyouko shrugged and set the box between them, just in case. Kiku pressed her nose into her knees and continued to look the other way, staring sightlessly into the abyss.
It was awkwardly silent between them, or at least for Kiku it felt awkward; she knew next to nothing about the redhead. But besides that, she didn't see the point in the girl's being here. She definitely wasn't going back, not to that accursed apartment. She was sick and tired of that goddamn apartment. That place had become her prison. She wouldn't go back until the cops came and dragged her back to be locked up again.
Then it occurred to her that Kyouko might be the cops, and she detested the thought.
The redhead in question seemed much more relaxed by comparison, almost like she was waiting her out, patiently chewing on her gum until Kiku decided to talk. The brunette watched her out of the corner of her eye, trying to read the girl's expression. Kyouko's face was impassive at the moment, but there was a constant fire in her eyes; it was always there, that light, that energy, one that betrayed her inner strength. Kiku envied her for it. She knew that Kyouko likely cared deeply for Homura, but some primal part of her thought that in the end, if it really came down to it, Kyouko would be just fine without someone to love. She was independent like that.
Finally giving in, Kiku sighed and started picking at the grass; it was a bad habit of hers. "Are you really going to just sit there?"
Kyouko tossed her head, her long ponytail swaying behind her. "If I have to," She said simply. "You're the one who's making me sit here."
"Just go home, Kyouko," She said again, switching her gaze to the ground, to the abyss. The clouds were thickening, blackening, but the rain was not yet forthcoming. "You don't even know what's been going on between me and Mami."
"Maybe not," Kyouko agreed readily, blowing a small bubble. "But you know what? I don't think I have to know. I can sort of figure it out, by looking at the two of you. I guess what I'm saying is...I know how you feel, Kiku. I know you don't know alot about me, but I've been where you are."
Kiku stared solemnly at her nails, at the little mountain of grass blades she was accumulating. "How could you possibly understand my situation?" She grumbled.
The redhead pursed her lips, leaning back on her hands, away from the cliffside. "I've had secrets before," She replied. "And I know how hard it is to keep a secret, while at the same time wanting to tell the people you love all about it...and then, in the end, they all find out. In the worst possible way."
The illusionist still didn't look up. She had some vague recollections of Kyouko's past, perhaps little tidbits that people had led slide while they were around her, but no concrete memory resurfaced in her mind. She really did know next to nothing about Kyouko. Kiku found the thought somewhat regrettable.
"So, what did you do? When they all found out, I mean," She asked quietly, trying to sound as disinterested as possible.
Kyouko smiled to herself, revisiting a bitter memory. "I withdrew inside myself. I didn't have any friends for a really long time, and when I did I ended up pushing them away. Which is actually how I met Mami, come to think of it," She said, drawing Kiku's attention at the blonde's mention. "I lived like that for years. And you know what? I regretted it. I was unhappy with myself, I was alone, I was violent...it wasn't until I started talking to Homura and Mami again that I became more positive about things. And yeah, I know we still have our problems. You were there for a lot of them. But I think it's better to yell and throw things at each other than keep our feelings bottled up all the time. Now that's unhealthy."
Kiku snorted to herself, reaching up to brush some errant bangs out of her eyes. "Well, I did that. I yelled and threw things. And look how well that turned out."
"And then you ran," Kyouko pointed out, popping another gum square. "That's where you fucked up. You can't just start a commotion and then leave; if you're going to start something, you might as well go through with it. Keep yelling, keep throwing shit, until you get your point across. With someone as thickheaded as Mami, that's the only way you're going to win. She wasn't treating you right, was she?"
Kiku narrowed her eyes at the ground. "No, maybe she wasn't," She admitted, leaving deep furrows in the earth with her nails. "But I know it's because she cares. I can't just ignore that."
Kyouko surprised her by scoffing. "Who cares about what her motives were? She wasn't treating you right, and that's all that matters. Do you think I was happy with Homura after she tried to hide her sickness from me, because she cares? Well, don't guess; I was freaking pissed. Just caring about someone doesn't automatically put you in the right. Not to mention that Mami can be pretty stupid; sometimes you've got to put your foot down and just tell her."
"But I'm not like that," Kiku murmured timidly, closing her eyes. She was tired. "You know I'm not like that. I can't just...ignore her feelings. You weren't there, Kyouko. You haven't seen it with your own eyes."
Kyouko eyed her. "Tell me then," She said simply. "Tell me how you feel."
Kiku glanced at her discreetly, instinctively wanting to refuse. But no; this was her chance. The girl had asked for it, and she was going to get it. Let's see how well she can handle someone complaining about their problems.
"She just...doesn't consider me, when she does things," The brunette said, tracing out a small pattern in the grass. "I don't like it, and it makes me mad...but then I think about how much I care about her. I think about all those times I saw her sad, or terrified, or crying...in the hospital, when she was alone, whenever. I think about all that and remember it, and I just can't argue against her. I just want her to be happy..."
Kyouko said nothing, just tilted her head, listening.
"It's not like I want to sacrifice myself for Mami," She continued. Her voice was thickening again, but she fought it back. "I've done that once already. But keeping everything that I want to say inside hurts. It hurts so much, but when I looked at her face I just can't say anything, and the pain just gets worse..."
God, she was crying again, fat tears leaking out of her eyes and streaming down her cheeks, staining her face and choking her. Covering her face with her hands, Kiku buried her face and tried to sob noiselessly, too proud to let her sounds of sorrow slip through in front of Kyouko.
The redhead started upon realizing that Kiku was crying, and was at a complete loss. She had thought that playing the calm, cool approach would help, but apparently not. How did one comfort a weeping maiden in distress? She had no idea.
"Hey..." Kyouko said awkwardly, reaching out and patting the girl's shoulder. "Hey, look. It's alright. Don't cry, okay? Seriously, don't. You're making me really uncomfortable, here."
But Kiku shrugged the girl off, swallowing thickly before wheezing back, "Why should I? It's not like you care..."
That was an untruth, and Kyouko found herself irked by it. "I do care," She said sternly, making the other girl go still. "Do you think I would still be here if I didn't? Not even Homura can make me do something I really don't feel like doing. I'm here because I want to be, alright? Even if we did have beef with each other in the past. So...please, just stop crying."
Kiku went very still, then slowly raised her head, sniffling as she rubbed the fresh tears away from her eyes. "Okay, fine," She muttered, drawing in a shuddering breath. Kyouko patted her gently on the back.
"There you go," She said approvingly. "Strong girls like us can't cry, you know. It's against the rules."
Kiku sniffed again, but smiled slightly. "Strong girl like us, huh?"
"Sure," Kyouko said, smiling confidently back. "Homura and Mami are incredible too, but...between you and me, they aren't as strong as they seem to be. They're both alot weaker than you'd think. And they both need us. So...just come back with me. Please?"
Kiku closed her eyes, analytically weighing her options. Could she really go back and face Mami again, after what she had said? She still blamed the blonde for so many of her grievances; after all that yelling, she was finally able to admit that much to herself. As much as she loved Mami, the girl had mistreated her, that much was true. But beneath that, beneath all the hate and spite, was the desire to be on good terms again. She wanted to be able to smile and laugh with Mami again, just like that had that one night on the hammock, today and until the end of time. But she didn't want to go back to the way things were either. If only she could open herself up to the blonde, explain what she really wanted from their relationship, and hope for the best...
But what did she really want between the two of them? Was it love? Or was it simply companionship? Kiku knew that she couldn't expect Mami to love her as much as she loved the blonde; no matter what, that choice ultimately was not hers. but fairness, open communication, understanding; she could ask for those things, couldn't she? Was that too much to ask?
Then she realized that if that really was too great a request, her relationship with Mami was composed of utter bullshit. She ought to be entitled to that much.
There was a rustling beside her, and she turned to see Kyouko slowly picking herself up off the grass. Once she was on both feet, the redhead extended one hand down to the illusionist, a reassuring smile on her face.
"C'mon, Kiku," She prompted softly. "I never said it was gonna be easy. But you agree with me, don't you? You have to do this."
The brunette looked up into Kyouko's eyes, at the kindness and strength she found there, the confidence in her smile, the energy in her teeth, and wondered why she had ever come to dislike this girl in the first place.
"Okay," She whispered, reaching up and taking Kyouko's hand. The redhead surprised her by yanking Kiku up without warning, making the brunette cling to Kyouko's shoulders to steady herself. The spear wielder laughed at the girl's surprise, her teeth sparkling despite the absence of sun.
"Jeez..." Kiku muttered, still squeezing Kyouko's shoulders. She felt strangely lightheaded, and she needed the redhead for support for fear of falling off the edge for real. "Do you do things like that to Homura all the time?"
Kyouko rolled her eyes, keeping a firm grip on the illusionists's arms. "Not allll the time," She said, stretching out that one word. "Just...once in a while," She admitted, smirking. Kiku found herself blushing when she saw how pretty the redhead's smile was. She had never really realized it before, but Kyouko wasn't a bad looking girl. Not in the slightest.
"So, uh..." She searched for words for a moment, somewhat distracted. "Does this mean we're friends now?"
"Hm..." Kyouko seemed to genuinely consider the question, and Kiku found her eyes strangely attracted to the girl's long eyelashes. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, the redhead poked her hard in the forehead.
"Ow!" Kiku exclaimed, flinching backwards, and she would have fallen into the abyss if not for her grip on Kyouko's shoulders. "What was that for?" But the redhead let her go and slipped back to the fence, grinning triumphantly.
"Friends aren't something you decide on," She called back, throwing one leg over the wooden wall. "It just happens, alright? And stop checking me out. Don't you know that I'm taken?"
Kiku, who was busy rubbing her forehead, blushed badly. "I-I wasn't thinking that!" She protested, jogging back towards the fence.
Kyouko laughed. "Bullshit! You were totally eating me up!"
"Was not!"
"Whatever. Just hurry up! You've got your own girl to talk to, don't you?"
Junko Kaname's office building was tall and imposing, just like its owner; it was one of the tallest skyscrapers in all of Mitakihara, nestled securely in the bustling heart of the city. It was so tall that Homura could see it through the window as the gravity train pulled to a noiseless stop outside the station, but she wasn't the type to be impressed by mere size alone. As soon as the doors hissed aside, she grabbed Mami and dragged them both out of the station, making a direct beeline for the building. Mami didn't protest as much as she had before, probably having decided that there was no use in contesting the shield user. Besides, she had other things on her mind.
The blonde had been absolutely shocked to find out that Kiku was in love with her. The discovery had ended up pissing of Homura so much that she tired herself out, leaving her unable to actually express her agitation. She had been hoping that Mami must have some thought, some tiny inkling of the idea that Kiku wanted more than a simple friendship, but no. Nothing. Rather, the blonde had been doubly surprised to learn that her best friend was a homosexual. Homura had wanted to bash her head into the window and call it quits after that, but she decided against it. She would probably pass out from blood loss, and then who would drag Mami all the way into Junko's office? But really, the girl was denser than a diamond being compressed within the earth's core.
After hailing another cab, they reached the front of Junko's building. Mami craned her neck back to take the whole thing in, but Homura didn't give her the time to sightsee. She pulled them both through the door, approaching the front desk with an air of authority.
"We would like an audience with miss Junko Kaname, please," She said sternly.
The woman manning the front desk looked cooly back at her with a raised eyebrow, a pair of sharp horned eyeglasses perched on top of her nose. Homura fought the urge to push up her own pair of lenses in competition; she knew immediately that this woman was not taking her seriously. "Young lady, do you realize how busy someone like Kaname-san is-"
Homura lifted her hands and slammed then down on the desk as loudly as she could, startling both the lady and Mami, along with everyone else in the lobby. "I am perfectly aware of how busy Junko is. But I'm sure she'll be glad to see us once you tell her who you've been holding up for precisely seventy seconds, by now. So if you could please do us all a great favor and send your boss a brief message?"
The receptionist blinked, her glasses askew after she had flinched backwards from Homura's desk slamming. Scrabbling for the phone, she punched a single number in and waited for the receiver to burr.
"Hello, Kaname-sama?" She said a moment later. "Yes, this is the front desk...you have two children here who claim they want to see you...huh? Oh, uh...black hair, yes. Shouldn't I-what? Let them in? But..."
The receptionist's voice trailed off as Junko said something that was probably both kind and threatening at the same time, and a moment later she nodded frantically before setting the phone back down.
"Kaname-san will see you now," The lady said sheepishly, scribbling her signature onto a slip and handing it to Homura. The shield user accepted it curtly and led Mami down the hall, to the elevators at the far end of the lobby.
"Was that...really necessary?" Mami asked doubtfully, staring back at the receptionist, who seemed to be trembling. "I feel bad for her."
"Sometimes you need to be rude to get your point across," Homura replied, the ice still in her voice. "Just ask Kiku."
Mami fell silent at that.
Pushing the button fixed into the wall, Homura waited impatiently as she waited for the elevator to return to the first floor. When the doors finally slid open, she walked in and selected the highest available floor, then waiting impatiently again as the doors closed and they began to rise, that familiar gut wrenching feeling in their stomachs as their altitude changed.
"Why are we here, again?" Mami asked, almost afraid to ask. Homura looked more irritated than ever. The shield user had mentioned Junko in her story, but she couldn't mean...
"As Kiku's friend, I'm going to give her another chance," Homura replied bluntly. "We're going to pay Junko a visit, and you're going to accept her offer."
Mami's eyes widened. "What? But I haven't even had time to think about this! You can't just make me walk in there are sign some paper!"
"Yes, I can," Homura said blandly, "And I will. If you want to be on good terms with Kiku again, you'll do this for her. It's the least you could do; lord knows you've put that girl through enough already."
Mami fell silent again, staring down at her shoes, and at the emasculate, reflective floor. "Am I really that terrible?" She asked quietly.
Homura glanced at the blonde through the corner of her eye. The mechanisms lifting the elevator up the chute hummed softly through the walls, giving ambience to their thoughts as Mami awaited the girl's answer.
Finally, Homura closed her eyes and sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "To be frank, I don't think you're a bad person," She said. "But sometimes...sometimes, Mami, you really treat people like shit."
Mami blinked and looked up in surprise, shocked by the shield user's use of profanity; the girl rarely swore, if ever, at least in front of her.
"So do you think that I treat Kiku like...like...sh-shit?" The blonde asked, albeit with some difficult; the word came off her tongue sounding ugly. It was unbecoming of her.
Homura actually smiled at Mami's discomfort, apparently amused by her inability to swear fluently. "I can't say for sure. I'm not with the two of you all the time," She replied earnestly, watching the little blinking light on the wall that marked which floor they were on. "But...if you think about it, the answer is probably yes."
Mami looked back down at the floor again, clasping her hands together. "Oh."
Homura thought that she had probably hurt the blonde's feelings by saying that, and admittedly she did feel a small pang of sympathy. But she didn't let it show through her expression; if she was going to make Mami go through with this, she would have to be unwavering.
The light above them dinged, letting them know that they had arrived at their destination. The door slid open slowly, letting in a waft of cool air; Mami shivered when it met her skin.
"Come on," Homura said, for once not grabbing her by the wrist as she stepped out of the chute. "Things can change, Mami. Even the worst of people can improve. I can attest to that."
The hall outside was colder than the air that had greeted them. They padded silently across a lushly carpeted floor until they reached the biggest door they could find, one that was appropriately labeled with the words JUNKO KANAME in big bold font, printed onto a name plaque right by the handle. Raising one fist, Homura knocked solidly at the door. Mami flinched by withdrew her judgement; she preferred softer, more polite knocks.
Junko Kaname was a very punctual woman, and not a moment later the door was pulled open, and the businesswoman herself was standing on the other side, clad in full formal gear, shining with intent from head to toe.
"My! Fancy meeting the two of you again. And here, of all places!" Junko greeted them. Homura made to bow, but the woman simply offered her hand, and the two of them shook with a sort of familiarity. She did not extend the same courtesy to Mami, however, instead turning back into her office. "Come in, come in!"
Homura followed her readily, Mami less surely. The blonde closed the door quietly behind her before turning to observe the office in all its glory. It was a large, expansive space, with the same expensive carpeting that extended into the hallway, as if Junko's influence had been too great for the room to contain, and it had consequently spilled into the hall. Equally expensive furniture furnished the walls and corners, but the only part of the office that seemed to have taken alot of use was the desk sitting in front of the balcony, with stacks of paper piled high. Junko Kaname was indeed a very busy woman. Mami felt a slight prick of guilt for taking up the woman's time.
"If you don't mind, Kaname-san, I would like to get straight to the point," Homura said immediately, standing in front of the desk as Junko took her seat behind it.
"Good!" The woman agreed, snapping her fingers in approval. "I always hate those old geezers in the office who feel the need to make needless chitchat. Cutting to the chase it always preferable."
Homura nodded. "I'm glad you feel that way," She said. "To be brief, then, we're here about your offer to Kiku, which you made admittedly some time ago. I'm assuming it is still valid?"
Junko's painted lips curved up into a knowing smile, a...triumphant smile. She had been expecting this, Mami realized. The thought sent violent shivers down her spine, and she didn't think it was from the air conditioning.
"It most certainly is valid," Junko agreed, letting one elegant hand fall to the desk. It began tapping away at the wood, at Mami's nerves.
Homura nodded again. "Good. Tomoe-san here would like to take you up on your offer."
Junko's eagle eyes shifted to the Mami for the first time. "Is that so?"
"Huh?" Mami started, caught off guard. Her eyes darted around the general vicinity of the desk before settling back on Junko's eyes, but they weren't comfortable there; it felt like her soul was being looked inside of. "I...yes, I suppose," The blonde said at last, effectively cowed. Never had she met a woman with such powerful presence.
Junko hummed thoughtfully, spinning from side to side in her plush, high backed chair. No longer able to stay on the woman's eyes, Mami's gaze drifted to the rest of her face. Lips painted a bright, unapologetic red, still curved up into that omniscient smile. A sharp nose, strong shoulders. Short, precisely cut purple hair that fell just short of the woman's chin, ending in fine points so sharp and exact that Mami felt that they could be classified as weapons.
"Mami Tomoe, was it?" She said, snapping the girl's attention back to focus. "I believe we have met before, yes?"
A bad memory, regarding failure and rejection, returned to her. "...Yes," She said, hoping she didn't sound begrudging. "We have."
"Hmm," Was the only reaction she got. "And are you sure you agree with Homura-chan here? Do you really wish to take me up on my offer?"
Feeling somewhat that she was being bullied, Mami forced herself to raise her head and meet the woman's gaze head on. "Yes," She said firmly this time. "I do."
Junko smiled again. "Very well," She accepted, leaning back before pulling herself out of the chair, which she left spinning in her wake. "Let's straighten out the details in private, shall we?" She left without waiting for the blonde's consent, pressing a keypad that was fixed onto the wall. The glass door that separated them from the balcony slid open with a slight hiss, letting in the hot evening air. Beyond her, Mami saw a small table sitting on the veranda.
She looked back at Homura, who stared impassively back. "Go," The younger girl said, gesturing with one hand at Junko's receding back. "I've got you this far. The rest is up to you."
Mami knew that she had to move, but something kept her there, some strange urge to do something, say something, to the shield user's face. She didn't know if she should be feeling gratitude at the moment or not; it was a good thing that Homura had done for her, but the girl's words had been tipped with malice the entire time. Mami had no doubt that, personally, Homura cared very little for her. But the fact that she was able to suppress that preference, and set it aside in order to pursue a greater good, was admirable in itself. Mami had to respect that.
Putting her hands together, the blonde tipped her head and bowed deeply.
"Thank you," She said, trying to sound as honest as possible. "For everything. For putting up with me. For this. Thank you."
She couldn't see from her position, but Homura's hardened face actually melted into a soft smile. "You can thank me later," She said, gently ushering the blonde towards the veranda. "Go. Junko doesn't like to be kept waiting."
When Mami stepped out onto the balcony, the door hissed closed behind her. Turning, she saw Junko waiting for her at the table, smiling amiably. She had a small array of papers spread out on the table. Walking over, the blonde gingerly took her seat across from the woman, and a moment later one of the papers was passed to her.
"This is a basic outline of the costs for the plot," Junko explained, circling a section of the list with her pen. There's an old house still on the land that we haven't demolished yet, and I was thinking you could use it to your advantage rather than starting from scratch, anyway. How does it look to you?"
Mami scanned down the list of costs, mentally consulting what she knew about her personal expenses. It was a bit on the pricey side, considering that she was still effectively a high school student. But then again, she was no ordinary high school student, either. And it was significantly discounted, based on what little she new about real estate. The location wasn't too bad either, now that she thought about it.
It then occurred to her that Kiku must have thought about all these things already. If only she were here. Her chest throbbed painfully with guilt. She just wanted to see the brunette again; she wanted to apologize somehow, tell her that she was sorry, that she hadn't meant it. Homura was absolutely right; she had been a fool to not notice before it was too late. Her best friend, and they were living under the same roof, yet she had been blind as a bat. The realization made her feel disgusted with herself.
This was one way to fix that.
"I...think it should be fine," Mami said at last, handing the outline back. Junko nodded and took the paper, shifting through a small mountain of other files.
"We can talk it out later if we have to," The businesswoman promised. She took out another file and pushed it across the table. "Here's a picture of the grounds. How does it look to you?"
"Well..."
The next half hour or so was consumed by the repetition of this process; Junko would present her with some kind of information for approval, and Mami would give her honest opinion on it. The woman was noticeably more accommodating than she had been during the job interview; she supposed that clients got a little more leeway. Mami watched Junko's face the entire time, looking for some hint of emotion, some slip up that would tell her what the woman was thinking. But her face remained calm and impassive the entire time, the model of professionalism. Color her impressed.
After the main bulk of papers and questions had been cleared aside, Mami sighed and leaned back in her chair, closing her eyes, which were tired from reading through so many lists. Junko paused to let her rest, stacking the finished stacks of paper together as she did. It was quiet out on the veranda, and they were so high up that even the city below them couldn't be heard. It was lonely here, on top of the world. But it was where Junko Kaname lived. Mami supposed one had to be strong to carve out a live in this desolate plane of life.
Turning her head to the side, Mami observed the graying sky, the angry storm clouds gathering on the horizon. They looked like little angry fists bustling together above the mountains. Mami watched these clouds as she let her mind wander, and eventually it settled on something that had been bothering her for a while.
"You rejected me on purpose, didn't you?" She said softly, keeping her eyes on the horizon.
Junko's rhythm did not halter, as the woman continued stacking papers with the precision of a machine. "Well, I certainly didn't do it by accident."
"Thats...not what I meant," Mami said, suppressing the brief flash of anger that had arisen in her chest. She wasn't stupid. Or perhaps the woman was used to look down on everyone around her?
Junko was silent for a minute or two before answering. Finally, she set the last of the papers aside and folded her hands on top of the table. "Then what did you mean? You can't expect everyone to understand what your intention while being so vague."
"Just...why? Besides me not be qualified enough, or whichever...why did you reject my application?" Mami asked, deciding that the woman was asking for her to be blunt. "I know that it has something to do with your relationship with Kiku. But I don't know what that relationship entails. So...why?"
The woman sitting across from her closed her eyes. "You seem like a very headstrong girl, Tomoe-san," She said, clasping her hands together. "And to be honest, I think I would have accepted your application if I could have. That same youthful energy, the desire to prove yourself, a need to move forward in life...you reminded me a bit of myself, when I was your age."
Mami watched her quietly, waiting for her to continue.
"But..." Junko sighed then, letting her neck droop a bit. "But, I just couldn't. The moment the door opened and I saw Hanezawa-san standing behind you, I understood exactly what was going on. Call it intuition, or call it luck, whichever suits you. But I saw immediately that she wasn't happy about your being here, or about you trying to get a job. I connected that to the offer I had made her several weeks prior, and the rest was easy. After realizing that, how could I hire you, knowing what it would have done to poor Kiku?"
Mami stared, processing the information. "That seems...oddly unprofessional."
Junko laughed out loud, holding her hands up in a 'what can you do' manner. "Business isn't everything," She said. "And that's coming from someone who's dedicated her entire life to business. Sometimes people's feelings win out over how much money you make. And there's nothing wrong with that."
Mami frowned and looked at the skyline, knowing that Kiku was out there somewhere, putting even more distance between them. "Your efforts might have been wasted," She admitted.
The older woman raised on eyebrow. "And why is that?"
"I...I've hurt her," Mami admitted, not knowing why she was talking about this with a complete stranger, but feeling the need regardless. "I was blind, Kaname-san. I couldn't see what was right in front of me. Kiku told me as much, once, a long time ago. She's been trying so hard all this time, and I thought I was too, but in the end I just hurt her. And I don't know if she'll find it within herself to forgive me. I don't think I deserve it, either."
Junko smiled to herself, breathing out slowly as she leaned back in her seat. "Who knows?" She asked rhetorically, laying her arms on the chair as she craned her head back, as if to devour the sky. "I've been bankrupt before. When I was broke, I felt like the lousiest businesswoman on the planet. But I didn't let that stop me. And now look at where I am."
Mami smiled, staring down at her lap. "Not everyone is like you, Kaname-san."
"Maybe not," She admitted, leaning forward again. "But you can try. And that's what matters."
Homura was busy observing a rather odd painting that had been set up against the wall of Junko's office, standing with her tired arms crossed over her chest as her eyes devoured the artistic work. She couldn't tell if it was modern or from a previous era. It seemed to be in acrylic, and it depicted a massive turtle that had fallen onto its back, leaving it unable to get up. A small army of little men were surrounding the fallen beast, erecting a series of complex pulleys and ropes in an effort to bring the animal upright again. But the turtle itself seemed impassive about the entire situation, and its closed eyes made it look as if asleep. The little men were shouting at it to wake up and fight for its ability to walk again, but the turtle seemed perfectly content to lay there and rot away into nothing.
She found herself despising the turtle.
Before she could fall too deep into meaningless hate, Homura heard the door to the balcony opening again. Turning, she saw Mami striding across the room towards her, as Junko took her seat behind the desk again.
"Everything's been settled," The woman said from her seat, popping her knuckles one by one. "The rest we can take care of at a later date, once we're able to get both Tomoe-san and Hanezawa-san together in the same room. But for now, we can relax."
Homura bowed. "Thank you, Kaname-san."
"Call me Junko." The woman smiled. "And you're welcome."
Nodding, Homura turned and grasped the door handle, making to leave. Mami turned and gave her own farewell bow, and was about to follow the shield user out the door when Junko called her name.
"Tomoe-san!"
Mami paused, sticking her head out past the door. "Yes?"
Junko winked. "Good luck!"
It was the end of the day when they left the building, passing by a receptionist that glared at them but seemed glad to have them gone. The streets outside were busy, but they were lucky enough to catch a cab without much delay. The ride to the station was brief and wordless; Mami was exhausted of conversational energy, and Homura seemed tired herself, though hers seemed to be a physical exhaustion. Mami wondered about that, but didn't ask.
They reached the station some time later, and this time Mami bought the tickets for the ride home. Homura started in surprise when the blonde offered to pay instead, though she wordlessly stuffed her wallet back into her pocket. If Mami felt like being gracious, she wasn't about to complain.
As they waited together at the platform, the blonde shifted uncomfortably, itching to get home. She didn't know if Kiku would even be home by the time she made it there. And even if she was, she didn't know if the girl would be in the mood to forgive her, much less talk. In fact, she seriously doubted it. But Mami didn't want to wait; she wanted to take care of this now, before the situation got any worse. She didn't want to leave Kiku to feel pain anymore. Not now that she was aware of what she had done. Amends had to be made.
"Homura," She said aloud, and the time traveler looked at her with tired eyes.
"Yes?"
"What you told me about Kiku, on the train," She began, blushing at the memory alone. "When you said that..."
"Yes?"
Mami shifted uncomfortably. "...Is she really in love with me?" She asked at last.
Homura stared tiredly at her. "Did you think I was joking?"
"No..." The blonde replied. "But...I don't know. I almost can't believe it."
Homura snorted softly to herself. "Well, you'd better. We've all known about it for months at this point. And quite frankly, I'm tired of hearing about it. Either the two of you need to get together already, or you need to set her down for good."
"Do you think I'm obligated to love her back?" Mami wondered aloud, clutching the small packet of files Junko had given her to her chest.
Homura eyed her. "I don't know," She said at last. "How does it make you feel? When I say that she loves you, that is."
Mami thought about that for a minute. "I don't know," She said admittedly, staring down at the platform.
Homura rolled her eyes. "Well, that's normal. It's how I felt, too."
The blonde glanced at her. "Really?"
The younger girl smiled. "Yeah."
The trains blasted past them a moment later, and they stepped onto the car together.
"And you'll be fine on your own?" Mami asked, pausing to look back.
"Yes, yes, don't worry about me," Homura yawned, using her free hand to wave dismissively at the girl. "I'll take this train home. Just go and deal with Kiku."
The blonde nodded in agreement, making as if to step out onto the platform. But then she turned around again. "Homura..."
The shield user looked up.
Mami smiled shyly back. "Thanks a lot. Really."
Then the door hissed closed, and the train was moving again.
She'd better be grateful, Homura thought to herself, closed her burning eyes. She couldn't remember the last time she had gone through this much trouble for someone else. Actually she could, but that had been for a certain redhead. She wondered if this meant that she and Mami were now destined to become much closer.
The thought made her shudder.
Homura's body was utterly drained at this point; she had hauled Mami all the way across Mitakihara and back on pure emotion, letting her anger and then her self satisfaction fuel her, but now that she lacked any clear motivational force, her sickness was catching up to her with full force. Homura groaned loudly as she sank deep into the seat, feeling like an entire planet was crushing her shoulders. Luckily, no one else was in the car to witness her shame.
Just a quick nap, she though to herself, her eyelids already descending upon her vision. The blackness was deliciously suffocating. Just one quick nap. The intercom will wake up me up. It'll be fine...
And so she closed her eyes, and slumbered.
Consciousness.
Tired as she was, Homura jolted awake and sprang to her feet almost immediately. She was surrounded by darkness on all sides. Turning around and look out the window, she saw a cold moon hanging in the sky. Night. How long had she been sleeping?
There was a small clack as a stray pebble struck the window, and it occurred to her that she was still on the train.
Whipping her head around, Homura's heart sank when she read the name of the province she was in and didn't recognize it.
Okay, just stay calm. Think rationally. She just had to get off at the next stop, and hop onto the first train back. Simple. Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, Homura forced herself to sit back down again, focusing on lowering her heart rate.
It was deathly quiet in the car, and when she looked around she realized it was because there was no one else in there with her. When she leaned forward and peaked into the adjacent cars, they seemed to be empty too. Homura's thoughts immediately thought of the train driver, but then she kicked herself; graviton trains didn't have conductors. They ran themselves.
So she really was alone in here. The thought scared her, if just a bit.
The closed her eyes, and opened then again.
The darkness was suffocating.
The only source of illumination come from outside, from the pale sheen of the full moon adorning the sky. Turning around in her seat, Homura settled for watching that instead. It gave her some comfort to watch the little while ball. Then her eyes travelled downwards, and she saw water. They were running alongside the sea. The realization made her pulse quicken again. She really was a long way from home. Turning her head, Homura tried to make out any signs of civilization in the distance, but common sense told her that she wouldn't find anything. If her knowledge of Japanese geography could be trusted, there were hardly any cities built near the coast, anymore. Not after the government had lost one too many towns to tsunamis. No, metropolises were built inland, nowadays.
Sighing to herself, Homura sat back down and checked when the next stop was. Thirty minutes. She just had to endure this creepy sense of isolation for another half hour. She could do that.
The engine was incredibly silent. Homura found herself wishing it were louder.
She was about to drift off to sleep again when she sensed the demons.
She almost didn't notice them at first, it had been so long; at first it was just an anomaly at the edge of her consciousness, but when it grew significantly stronger Homura finally recognized it. Absolute terror seized her chest when was fully realized, and her eyes shot open, the irises shrinking into twin points of pure fear. Of course. That had been the error in her judgement; she wasn't in Mitakihara anymore. There the demons were no more, swept away by the death of the Radix, but here those rules no longer applied. How stupid she had been, how utterly foolish, to forget that demons still existed beyond the city's borders! And now here she was, completely alone in a running train that had no conductor, in the dead of night, exhausted beyond measure. Could she even transform? Was it worth trying? The last time she had attempted it, she had lost consciousness for several hours. If the demons found her sprawled on the floor of the train, her death was a sure thing. She would be waking up in Madoka's arms before she knew it.
Panicking, Homura stood up and began to pace, frantically trying to figure out what she was going to do. Meanwhile, the demon presence multiplied, terrifying her senses beyond measure. They were coming, all right, and there were a lot of them. There were so many chasing off the train at the moment that the aura was clogging the passageways of her brain.
Stopping her pacing for a moment, Homura swore and punched the wall, splitting her knuckles open. Fucking idiot, she was! Falling asleep on the train like that! Now what was she going to do? If she transformed, she could die, but if she didn't she almost certainly would die. She was stuck not between a rock and a hard place, but between certain death and probable death. Both terrible odds. It had been a long time since Homura had found herself in so dire a situation, and she had grown rusty over the months. She wasn't as sharp as she used to be.
A low moan pierced the night sky. The cry of demons. Homura's heart constricted.
No choice, then. She would have to transform. It was the only way to give herself a remote chance of survival; it was her only choice, really. Once she did, she would have to find some sort of emergency stop button somewhere. She didn't know if graviton trains had them like ordinary ones did, as they were a rather new method of transportation, but logic told her that even this model should have one.
Okay, good. She had a plan now.
Time to execute it.
Closing her eyes, Homura took a deep, deep breath, placing one hand over her ring.
Sending out a quick prayer, she transformed.
There was a brief flash of violet light as her form was engulfed by the magic, and Homura immediately collapsed. She moaned when the cold metal floor crashed into her temple, but she otherwise managed to cling onto consciousness, feverishly picking herself off the ground and swaying on both feet. She was in no condition to fight demons. If it came down to it, this conflict was going to get very ugly. For her in particular.
Wiping the blood from the side of her face, Homura decided not to let her magic heal it. The less power she used, the better. Taking a few shaky steps forward, she began looking for an emergency stop button. Her tired eyes alighted upon a small manual that was slotted into the wall. Staggering over to it, she knelt and plucked it out, flipping through its contents until she found the information she needed. There it was; a manual emergency stop command, situated at the very first car of the train, as well as the back. Looking up, she realized with dismay that she was in the middlemost car. Then front or back, it didn't matter. It was the same distance either way.
Tossing the manual aside, she headed slowly for the frontmost car. Little squares of pale white light shone in through the thick windows, flickering against the wall and sweeping past as the train continued to speed along through the coast. Breathing heavily already, Homura yanked the first door open and slipped into the next car, dragging herself as fast as she could down the aisle. The demon presence was growing closer with every sluggish step; she didn't know if she was going to make it in time. Even if she managed to stop the train, she would still have to face the demons; but it was easier to fight stationary than on a moving train.
Reaching the end of the car, she slid the second door aside and walked past. She was halfway there now; why did this train need to be so long? Homura could feel the despair building in her chest as she forced herself to continue walking, knowing that to stop was death. The moon was still flickering into the train at random intervals, illuminating random patches of the darkness and making the cold metal bars glint evilly at her. Anything the moon did not touch was plunged into an unfathomable blackness. And on top of that, there was the utter sense that she was completely alone, isolated here with no one to help her as a horde of demons descended upon the train. It was a scene straight out of a horror movie, and Homura was the main character.
Reaching the end of the car at last, Homura heaved a deep breath before throwing the next door open. It stuck for a moment before rattling aside to admit her. Homura cursed as she entered the third car, more urgently than ever.
It seemed to be even more quiet than it had been before. She wondered why.
Where were the demons, anyway?
Homura was thrown off her feet as the train suddenly shook violently, its sturdy metal frame rocking from side to side as if it had been struck by a great wave. The shield user collapsed at the unexpected tremor and failed to catch herself in time, and her jaw crashed painfully into the edge of a seat. She rolled around on the floor for a moment, stunned by the injury, as the train shuddered again as it was rocked by the demon horde that had finally caught up to it.
Running on pure adrenaline, Homura hauled herself up and began to run, tearing past the closely placed seats until she reached the end of the car. Just two more to go. Just two more...
An ear splitting screech rang through the air, and Homura almost tripped again when the train shuddered once more. The noise was deafening in comparison to the absolute silence that had dominated a moment ago. It hurt her ears to hear it, and Homura finally lost any semblance of self control, raising her shield above her head and screaming as she sprinted for the other end of the car. She heard the sound of shattering glass behind her, and suddenly the demons were pouring in from all sides, filling the inside of the train like a black lake. Falling to the floor, Homura hastily summoned a small machine gun and fired haphazardly behind her, spraying bullets with wild abandon as she continued to run. The projectiles took out several of her pursuers, but they also pinged against the chrome plated walls and roof, sending great showers of sparks winging their way across the air.
She all but kicked down the final door that stood in her way, but didn't have the opportunity to run for the front of the train, because the demons had caught up with her. Homura turned and emptied the rest of her magazine into the advancing horde, swearing loudly when she ran out of bullets. Her knees almost buckled when she drew on her magic to summon a large shotgun, scrambling the cock the weapon before hip firing into the previous car, spraying buckshot into the wave of blackness. A dozen demons screeched and exploded, but the enemies were seemingly endless, as they always were. Yelling something that had to do with fear, Homura fired wildly behind her, not even bothering to aim.
She ended up regretting it. One of the pellets struck a gas line that ran along the side of the roof, and the metal piping burst, sending a gout of white hot flame jetting out towards them. The fire grew larger as more and more gas leaked out through the weakened structure, and Homura had no choice but to retreat behind the door and kick it closed again. The demons piled against the other side, momentarily stalled, but they simply poured out through the windows and entered Homura's car the same way, and now she was surrounded.
Eyes widening in panic, Homura turned and fired into this new obstacle. She just had to reach the end of this car. Tossing her not empty shotgun aside, she drew two pistols and charged into the demon horde, firing as she ran. She broke through the wall of darkness and rolled to break her momentum, springing to her feet just in time to reach out for the emergency stop button...
Then something behind her exploded, and the train rocked to the side yet again. Homura was thrown to the floor by the impact, and when she turned she saw that the car she had closed behind her was now engulfed by a raging inferno; she saw nothing of the demons that had been there previously, only red and yellow. The flames were starting to lick at the edges of the door, and soon this car would also be aflame.
The demons took advantage of her brief distraction to crowd around her legs, but Homura kicked them off, firing her pistols as she scrambled back to her feet. Lunging forward, she slammed her hand on the emergency stop button.
Many things happened at once after that. A second after her hand met the button, thus activating the emergency brakes, there was a second explosion behind, presumably from the same source. The train was thrown to the side just as the brakes seized its wheels, and the sudden massive change in momentum was too much for the car to stay upright. Homura was literally thrown through the air as the entire graviton train was lifted off the rails and thrown to the side, the first car plowing through the dirt, and suddenly it was insanity, nothing but crashing glass and rending metal and screaming wheels as the entire train flew completely off the rails, spinning the girl inside so violently that her ears rang in agony.
Homura's temple struck something sharp, and her consciousness began to slip. The train flipped one final time before coming to a haphazard stop, leaving the time traveler's bruised body laying where the roof used to be, as the car had overturned itself in the derailment. A long trough had been dug into the earth where the train had plowed through it, and the entire thing was slowly steaming, a bevy of flames still erupting from the second car.
Reaching up through wheezing breaths, Homura felt the profuse amount of blood staining her head and knew she was in trouble. The demons were still in the car with her, momentarily stunned by the crash, but they would be up soon. But she wouldn't be; her consciousness was fading fast. She had run this far on adrenaline, but now her body was failing her.
She lifted one hand a reached feebly for the sky, towards the grace of a certain goddess. But it wasn't the last thought that dominated her mind.
Kyouko, she thought weakly, as the blackness overtook her.
Whoo. These chapters just keep getting longer and longer, don't they?
I'm sorry about the cliffhanger. I know some of you hate them.
Tell me what you guys think about this chapter. I guess a lot of stuff happened this week. Don't worry, I hate seeing a weak and vulnerable Homura too, but it helps to humanize her too, in my opinion. I'll try not to be too mean to her. I don't want to get sick again :(
Thanks for reading!
~Banshee
