When Kurt looks at his reflection in the mirror he can't recognize the man that is standing in front of him. His hair is messy, dark shadows are under his red eyes and he wants nothing more than to hug Blaine and tell him how much he loves him. Does he still deserve to say something so meaningful to him? Are they still together? What can he do to make Blaine forgive him? There is so many questions and yet no answers.
Kurt turns off the light and leaves his apartment. He has to give the key to Arcadius. He understands that Kurt can't be in Paris anymore, but he also has to find replacement for Kurt's place quickly if he wants the musical to be ready to perform on time. That means that Kurt can't come back. He doesn't even want to come back. He should have stayed in New York with Blaine.
He is a little sad that his effort after all turns out to be worthless, but he has to focus on making Blaine understand him. That it wasn't his fault. Not completely.
When Arcadius sees Kurt on his doorstep he immediately pulls Kurt into a hug and wishes him luck. Kurt smiles politely at him, but he can see in older's man eyes that it is more a grimace than anything else. Arcadius pulls away and Kurt can hear soft footsteps. They both turn toward the staircase and notice Gabriel leaning against the wall.
Arcadius probably can sense that something is going on between them, because he asks if they want to be left alone. Kurt immediately shakes his head ignoring Gabriel's pleading gaze. He can see that Gabriel is not in a better state than he is, judging from his baggy cloths and puffy eyes. Kurt hugs Arcadius one last time and leaves the house not even looking towards his former friend.
When he gets on a plane Kurt sits between an elder man and young girl. They are both annoying. The man, John- he learns, apparently has nothing interesting going on in his life, so he asks Kurt about his job. Kurt politely answers wishing that his hands weren't shaking and he could read a magazine or something. The girl next to him is typing on her phone and seems to be amused by conversation between John and Kurt. Stupid cow.
When John asks him about his non-existent girlfriend he wants to punch him in the face. He just wants to be left alone for a while. Can't he notice that Kurt is in the middle of mental breakdown? Kurt smiles politely at him and says that no, he doesn't have a girlfriend.
Kurt shouldn't have done that.
John's face lights up and he starts talking about his niece. How smart she is. How she looks like a model. Kurt wants to puke up at his flannel shirt. He forces himself to stay calm and pretends that he is interested in listening about some girl.
Rachel is already waiting for him at the airport with worried expression on her face. Kurt would rather see Blaine, but it is still nice to see a familiar face. He immediately pulls her into a hug to listen to her steady heartbeat and smell familiar scent of flowers. She doesn't know yet what is going on.
That's why she decides that they should go first to the little bakery near their apartment. She buys a slice of a cheesecake for both of them and they sit opposite each other. Rachel is patient and lets Kurt talk about Paris for a while. He tells her about amazing people, beautiful buildings and modern fashion. When he is finished she grabs his hand and says that they should talk about the reason why he is back in New York. She makes sure that he knows that she isn't going anywhere and for the first time in a couple of days Kurt has someone who is willing to listen to him.
So he tells her everything from the very begging. There is not much that she doesn't know about his friendship with Gabriel, but he tells everything anyway. Kurt needs someone to understand him. Rachel frowns when he tells her about the kiss, but she's still supportive friend which is very helpful. He tells her that he doesn't know if he and Blaine are still together and she understands. She understands how it feels like when you have everything to lost. She holds his hand during the whole conversation and after that they decide that Kurt needs sleep.
When Kurt is in bed, dressed in his most comfortable pajamas despite the fact that he is exhausted he can't sleep. There is something, someone that should be next to him in bed. After couple of hours, Kurt pulls one of his pillows into his arms and finally falls asleep.
Cooper doesn't understand. He really wants to, but he can't. What's wrong with Kurt? His little brother has to suffer again because of him, but now this is much more complicated. Blaine is pregnant. Even is he wants Kurt to leave him, he can't get rid of him. He wants to support Blaine, give him a shoulder to cry on, but Blaine apparently doesn't want anyone expect his little daughter near him.
Cooper knows his brother well, but sometimes even he can't figure out what is happening in his head and he just wants to help, but he has no idea how. He doesn't even know why Blaine is so miserable. He just know that the only person that can do something like that to him is Kurt.
Now he can just sit and wait.
He wants to kill Kurt.
Rachel quietly enters Kurt's bedroom and leans against the wall. She can't stand seeing him like this. She know that this is all very complicated and this is partly Kurt's fault, but she also know that he loves Blaine and he would do everything to gain his trust back.
She is going to help him.
One kiss doesn't count as a cheating. Blaine keeps telling himself that. He wants to move on and forget, but he can't get rid of images of Kurt and Gabriel kissing.
Blaine is closed in his room and doesn't want to see anyone. Rosalie is with Cooper and he has time to think. They have to talk. He knows that much. One kiss shouldn't be the reason to break-up.
But it is not only about one kiss.
He isn't sure if he can trust Kurt again. He learned once to trust Kurt after leaving him alone for another man and now he doesn't want his poor heart to be broken again. It's not fair. to Kurt. He knows. But he is afraid of falling and he doesn't know if Kurt is there to catch him.
