Remember all those references to Macedonia as the oasis of peace in the Balkans. You only really appreciate it when you have lost it.
- Boris Trajkovski
CORRESPONDENCE BETWEEN HETALIANS 29
To: Elizabeta Héderváry
From: [Romania]
Ei, school just started, didn't it? Why are you still at home? I thought you had to retake first grade.
– Romania
To: [Romania]
From: Elizabeta Héderváry
Why are you ditching class? Didn't you fail kindergarten?
Hungary
To: Elizabeta Héderváry
From: [Romania]
PORCINE ! ! !
To: [Romania]
From: Elizabeta Héderváry
Sertés! Ion Antonescu!
To: Elizabeta Héderváry and [Romania]
From: [Bulgaria]
You two are annoying. Last time I checked, you two were both on the International Mentally Retarded list.
Bulgaria
To: [Romania]
From: Elizabeta Héderváry
Truce?
To: Elizabeta Héderváry
From: [Romania]
Truce.
To: Elizabeta Héderváry and [Romania]
From: [Bulgaria]
GOT IT! GOT IT! I SURRENDER! PLEASE REMOVE YOU SIEGE ENGINES FROM MY ROSE BED! ! LIKE, NOW PLEASE! DON'T YOU HAVE SOME KIND OF MUTUAL ANNIHILATION TO ATTEND TO? !
BULGARIA
To: Arthur Kirkland
From: Alfred F. Jones
Hey Britain! Do you remember what that place between Estonia and Lithuania is called? I failed another of my boss's surprise geography quizzes (what ! ! He only gave me two days to study!)
- AMERICA THE HERO!
To: Alfred F. Jones
From: Arthur Kirkland
It's Latvia. Try to remember for once.
England
To: Arthur Kirkland
From: Alfred F. Jones
Really? ! Latvia? Hasn't he already been absorbed by the scarf commie? Ah, well.
Thanks Iggy!
- AMERICA THE HERO!
To: Alfred F. Jones
From: Arthur Kirkland
...Don't... call... me..."Iggy"...
To: Arthur Kirkland
From: Alfred F. Jones
Dude, I can just see the condensed evil oozing down out of those four words. Really, try to be less of a personification of pure evil, will ya?
- AMERICA THE HERO!
To: [Macedonia]
From: Elizabeta Héderváry
Hey Macedonia! How are you doing? I hope you're well! Say, do you remember that bag of Swiss chocolates in the refrigerator? Those are mine, right? Right? Anyways, I just wanted to say hello!
– Hungary
To: [Macedonia]
From: [Romania]
Dear friend,
How are you? I do hope that you're doing well. By the way, may I ask a favor of you? Could you please clarify to that brain-dead swine lady that that bag of chocolates is, in fact, mine, and that she should stop trying to claim it for herself.
– Romania
To: [Bulgaria]
From: [Romania]
[Forwarded: From Elizabeta Héderváry to [Macedonia], Subj: Hello! andFrom [Romania] to [Macedonia] Subj: Dear Friend]
I have no idea of what to do.
Macedonia
To: [Macedonia]
From: [Bulgaria]
Why don't you trying going and smacking Italy on the head with a stick a few times? I find it always helps me think.
– Bulgaria
To: [Bulgaria]
From: [Macedonia]
Oh, thanks.
To: Ludwig
From: Feliciano Vargas
GERMANYYYYYYYYYY! I was just peacefully eating pasta on my lawn when Macedonia suddenly popped up and started smacking me on the head with a stick! It hurrrts! HELP! !
Italy~
To: Feliciano Vargas
From: Ludwig
One question first, is he using Herr Stick?
To: Ludwig
From: Feliciano Vargas
No, HELP ! !
To: Feliciano Vargas
From: Ludwig
Okay, that's good to know (if he had been then I would have had to declare war). Why don't you, instead of texting me for help in a panic, just use your incredible skills of retreat and run away?
Germany
To: Ludwig
From: Feliciano Vargas
But that would be rude to Macedonia!
Italy~
To: Feliciano Vargas
From: Ludwig
Go away and stop texting me.
Germany
To: [Netherlands]
From: Bella
Big Brother, just be nice! Maybe if you help out the indebted countries now, they'll help you, too, later!
"Never impose on others what you would not choose for yourself." – Confucius
Listen to Confucius!
Your little sister,
Belgium
To: Bella
From: [Netherlands]
Okay, fine. I'll only charge 60% interest, satisfied?
Netherlands
To: Ludwig
From: Feliciano Vargas
Hey, Germany!
I was just wondering, why would Macedonia taking Herr Stick be a cause for war?
Please answer soon!
Italy~
To: Feliciano Vargas
From: Ludwig
Herr Stick is Herr Stick.
Germany
To: Gilbert Beilschmidt
From: Feliciano Vargas
How come you didn't take as much beer from Germany as you usually do?
Italy~
And there you have it. Finally, Belgium and the Netherlands!
I'm obsessed with the Balkans at the moment. So...heh. For some reason I really like Macedonia. But not as much as messed-up Mesopotamia.
Random Fact: One of the Balkans, Kosovo, only got independence in 2008.
To: [Bulgaria] and [Macedonia]
From: Kosovo
The chocolates were actually mine, you know.
Kosovo
To: [Kosovo]
From: [Bulgaria]
Really? Sorry. We kinda forgot about you.
Bulgaria
To: [Bulgaria]
From: [Kosovo]
Ah, well. So long as you enjoyed the candy. How is Macedonia doing? Albania says he's still in the hospital after being beaten up by Hungary and Romania for giving the chocolates to you.
Give him my regards,
Kosovo
R.E.V.I.E.W.
As in: Review. Eat scones if you don't. Vell, vhat are you vaiting for? ! I mean it! EAT SCONES! WELL, JUST DO IT!
