AN: Thanks to everyone who reviewed, you guys continue to amaze me. As to the question of more chapters, yes, there will be more. How many more? Not entirely sure to be honest, I have a general idea of events to come, but we'll have to see where the story takes us. May be a few chapters short of 'several thousand more', though - sorry webber82 ;) As for the questions of happy loving versus drama/twists/etc...I guess we will also have to see ;) Thanks everyone for sharing your thoughts with me, hope you are all doing well.
Take care and enjoy.
CHAPTER 29
"Hope is the struggle of the soul, breaking loose from what is perishable, and attesting her eternity."
Herman Melville
CATHERINE POV
"So, here are all the rest of the reports from the Jefferson case."
"Thanks, Sara," I smile up at the brunette, taking my glasses off and placing them down on my desk with a sigh.
"How's it feel?" Sara questions, gesturing to my old desk, my old office.
"In some ways like I never left," I tell her. "But in others like it's been ages."
"A lot's happened."
I look up into her hazel eyes.
"Yes, it has."
Standing slowly, I make my way towards the tall brunette.
Wordlessly, I reach out, placing my hands gently along her hips. At the contact, I see the confusion, the concern crossing Sara's features.
"Catherine…?" she whispers questioningly.
Raising my hands slowly, I move them further up her sides.
Her breathing hitches, her jaw set tightly to try to keep herself steady.
My hands travel further, coming to rest along the sides of her face, fingers entangled in dark, soft hair.
"Cath…" she tries again, voice so quiet I barely make it out.
Leaning in, I place my lips against her own.
I feel her body stiffen before involuntarily responding to the kiss. Her hands come to gently rest near my lower back, her lips soft against my own.
Pulling back slightly for air, Sara's eyes are closed, her breathing shallow.
"Catherine…"
"Shh," I silence her, raising a finger to gently place it across her lips.
Her eyes open at the contact, her gaze studying my own.
"We can't…here…" she breathes out around my finger.
I can feel her hands, her body fighting to not give into the temptations that I myself am fighting having her so close.
Keeping my grip on her firm, I move us back slowly until Sara's back connects with my office door. Then, pushing a bit more forcefully, we both fall back until the door slams shut.
"Problem solved," I tell her quietly.
Moving my finger slightly, I use it to trace her lips, her mouth. Sara's gaze watches me the whole time, her features intense.
The last of the resistance draining from her, she leans forward to recapture my lips with hers.
This time, we aren't so gentle.
Tongues dueling together, our hands search for the most exposed skin we can find, my own traveling across Sara's neck while hers find their way under my shirt to place themselves along my back.
The coldness of her hands contrasts sharply with the warmth of her kiss, making me gasp against the conflicting sensations.
Pushing her firmly against the door, I keep her there, placing my legs between hers, leaning into her hips with my own.
Sara's breathing catches, the brunette moving her hands further up my back, using my body as leverage to deepen our kiss.
Moving my own hands, I lower them from her face to her shoulders, then down further to her elbows.
Griping them firmly, I pull her arms from my back, my lips not leaving hers as I move further down her arms to entwine our fingers together.
She struggles to touch me, her body pressing against mine.
Tightening my grip on her hands, I keep them captured in my own, my tongue moving to trace its way across Sara's bottom lip.
Leaning in, I press the rest of our bodies together, placing myself flush against her the same time I push back with my hands, pinning her own to the door near her head.
I think Sara stops breathing all together.
Deepening our kiss, both of us are lost in the moment, in the sensations of our bodies so intimately arranged.
"Cath…" Sara struggles to get out, her body and her words sending conflicting messages as even now she's fighting to take over dominance, her hips pressing into mine.
Fighting her back, I keep her pinned solidly to the door.
Moving my head back slowly, I see her eyes intently watching mine, both our breaths coming in ragged, shallow gasps.
Sara's gaze holds so much emotion – so much desire.
But, the one thing I also recognize there in surprise is hesitance, fear.
"Sara?" I question.
For the first time, I register the position of our bodies, Sara's hands restrained by mine near her head.
Immediately, my mind flashes back to a time, only months ago, when Sara's hands were restrained above her head for an entirely different reason.
"Oh my God," immediately pull back from her, removing all contact.
My horrified gaze meets hers.
"Sara…I'm so sorry…" I choke out. "I didn't realize…"
I feel like I'm going to throw up.
"It's not that, Cath," Sara says quietly.
But, the fact that she knew exactly where my thoughts had gone lets me know it was, at least a little bit, that.
She moves towards me, reaching out gently to raise my chin.
"It's not that," Sara says more confidently.
Looking at me, she swallows.
"I trust you, Catherine," her quiet voice tells me.
I swallow as well, trying to control all the emotions, all the feelings moving through me.
"Then what?" I keep my eyes on hers, not knowing how much I believe her regarding her declaration of trust, but willing to hear her out.
"I just…" her voice trails off. "I just feel like maybe we're moving a little quickly."
She looks almost embarrassed at her words, her hand leaving my chin.
I keep watching her, trying to figure out what she's trying to tell me.
"I feel like, despite working together and everything we've been through, that we still don't really know each other all that well," Sara says, eyes hesitant, afraid she's going to hurt me by what she's saying. "I don't want to rush into things…I want to…before we…"
She shakes her head, rubbing her temples.
"God," she gets out. "I can't believe I'm saying this."
Moving forward, I take her hands in mine, gently this time.
"You want to be sure we know each other, trust each other, emotionally, before we get too far physically."
She studies me in surprise before nodding slowly.
"Yes."
I take in her request, somewhat surprised by the brunette's words. But, I at least know Sara well enough to know she isn't the type to jump into bed with someone. That she cares about people, deeply, and needs to have some level of trust, of commitment there for her to feel comfortable.
"Okay," I tell her with a smile pulling at my lips. "I think I can do that."
"You sure?" she questions, self-doubt coloring her eyes. "I'm sorry…I just…"
"Sara," I call out, stopping her. "We can take things at whatever pace you're comfortable with."
She takes a deep breath in, trying to relax.
"But," I narrow my eyes. "Please tell me at least kissing is okay."
Sara laughs lightly.
Leaning in, she gently places her lips against mine.
"Kissing is definitely okay," she whispers against my mouth before moving back in to deepen the kiss.
"There something you want to tell me?"
I glance over at DB, the older man keeping his eyes firmly on the road.
"What do you mean?" I casually sip my coffee.
"Come on, Catherine," he states. "You know what I'm asking."
I watch the scenery move by our windows as we make our way to our scene. My first scene back as a CSI in Vegas.
"Please spell it out for me," I request. "Hate to say something you weren't wanting to hear."
DB sends me a look before rolling his eyes.
"You and Sara," he states clearly, getting serious. "Is there something going on there that I should know about?"
I'm quiet, causing him to continue.
"Apparently there was quite a scene the other day in the hall…something about you and a fiancé? Declarations of love?"
I snort, rolling my own eyes before I get serious.
"Sara and I are…" I trail off. "I don't know what we are, exactly. But we are pursuing a relationship, yes."
There's no hesitation, no secrecy in my voice.
"And I'm not willing to give that up, for anything."
DB takes in my words, eventually nodding slowly as we pull down another road.
"You can't be her supervisor, you can't fill out any of her evaluations."
"Done."
"You never let your relationship come between your abilities to do your job."
He glances over as we stop at a light.
"One screw up, Catherine, and you two are on separate shifts."
He shakes his head.
"I'm serious."
"Done," I answer back, just as serious.
Sara and I are both professionals. Despite the scene earlier in my office, we both know how to be adults and prioritize our work versus private lives.
"All that aside," DB's expression softens as he accelerates. "Congratulations."
I smile back, accepting his sentiment.
"There's actually something I wanted to run by you, if you don't mind."
He quirks his brows.
"Okay."
"I wanted to discuss Sara getting back into the field," I breathe out. "She's going nuts, Russell."
"I know," he nods. "And I'm sympathetic to that, Catherine. But you know the rules as well as I do. Thirty days, seizure free."
"You're right, I know the rules as well as you do. And we both know there's a loophole."
His expression is tight, stern.
"I don't think that's a good idea. Not after everything she's already been through. I'd hate to get her hopes up only to have things not work out."
"I don't see it as anything other than giving her a fighting shot, Russell," I counter. "And if there's one thing we both know about Sara, it's that she'd want the chance to fight for her life back."
DB goes quiet, mind busy considering my proposition, the implications, the possible outcomes.
"If she agrees-"
"She will."
"If she agrees," DB repeats purposefully, "Then I want to be there when it gets discussed with her doctors. Every word I'm going to hear. And, then, the three of us are going to sit down and decide together whether it's a workable option."
I consider his proposition.
It only takes me a few seconds.
"Deal."
Smiling, I take Sara's hand in mine.
"You didn't have to drive me home," I tell her. "And you didn't have to walk me to the door."
"I'm polite," Sara shrugs with a smile of her own. "Get over it."
As we reach my front door, I pull both her hands into mine.
"Sweetheart, there's actually something I wanted to talk with you about."
Sara's expression tenses, looking at me with concern.
"You okay?"
"Yeah," I wave her off. "It's actually something about you."
Sara quirks a brow.
"I talked with DB today about getting you back into the field."
Sara narrows her eyes, but stays silent.
"I've been doing a lot of reading and thinking about the ways the rules are set up, and I think there's a way around the thirty day issue."
Sara studies me.
"Why didn't you say something to me?"
"I wanted to run it by DB first," I answer honestly. "Didn't want to bring it up to you if it wasn't something he'd even allow considering."
"What is it?" Sara questions, and I know she's skeptical, hesitant to get her hopes up.
"It's something that Hannah can explain much better than I can," I answer. "She agreed to discuss it with Doctor Roth and meet with us in the morning."
"Us?"
"You, me, and DB."
Sara hesitates, having always been a private person, never discussing anything regarding her health with much of anyone.
"It was part of DB's conditions," I tell her. "That he be there to hear what your doctors had to say before deciding with us whether this is something we can be doing."
"I…"
Sara trails off, shaking her head.
"I don't know what to say, Catherine."
"I'm not trying to impose," I squeeze her hands. "But if there's a way to get your life back, I'm damn well going to fight with you to achieve that."
Sara watches my expression before nodding.
"You know I'll do it," she says quietly. "You knew I would before you even asked."
I smile, "Yes I did."
Sara takes a deep, calming breath.
"I'll pick you up in the morning. DB will meet us there."
Sara nods, eyes looking heavy with thoughts.
"Thanks," she gets out, clearing her throat and steadying herself.
I nod, leaning forward to kiss her softly.
Front door opening not a minute later, we pull away.
"Oh," my mother states in surprise, keys in hand. "I didn't know anyone was out here."
"Sorry," I offer the same time Sara blushes.
"Sara," my mom acknowledges the brunette with a curt not.
"Ms. Flynn," Sara returns politely.
It's not exactly a warm exchange, but it's the best one they've had so far.
Progress, at least.
"If you're done kissing my daughter in public for all the world to see, I'd appreciate it if you'd move your car out of my way."
Sara tries to keep the smirk from her face.
"Of course, ma'am."
Sending me a knowing smile, the brunette backs away down the porch.
"See you tomorrow," I call to her.
She nods and sends me a quick wave, getting in her car and backing down the drive.
I sigh, hopeful for the future, but also hoping I haven't just made a huge mistake.
AN: Thanks for reading.
