Chapter 2

When he came to, they were gone. Or were they? Another Nyaruko-slam poster was there, but Takumi thought it was the real deal too. He drew his bow. "Nyaruko-slam! Take this!" He released the arrow, but because it was made of wind, the poster simply drifted away. "Come on and slam, and welcome to the jam!" it chanted as it cruised along the wind.

Somewhere far away, the true silver-haired paper maiden stood in front of a printing press. "Perfect. At the rate these are being printed, I can exact my revenge on Lucina." The posters that had already been printed chanted in unison. "Come on and slam, and welcome to the jam! Come on and slam, if you want to jam!"

In Ylisstol, Lucina was throwing a tantrum. "Waaaaaaaahhhhh! Papa! How could you take away my Jesus? It's not fair!" Lucina had been whining for days. Chrom had had enough. "Lookie here, you little bitch. You tried to start a world war. Over something other than fishsticks. I'm ashamed of you."

Lucina stopped crying. "What the frick did you just fricking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Ylissean Guard, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Plegia, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in Galeforce and I'm the top Great Lord in the entire Ylissean Royal Family. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the frick out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before in this Outrealm, mark my fricking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over a spy network? Think again, fricker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across Ylisse and your land is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fricking dead, pops. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire armory of the Ylissean Guard and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fricking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fricking dead, kiddo."

Lissa and Frederick burst out from around the corner, both of them blaring airhorns. Lissa raised one hand above her head and shouted, "Oooooooooooooooh!"