So time for a new chapter :) I finished the story and there are only two more chapters left to the end. I'm so impatient to share it with you gyus but everything in its own time :) Here's the new chapeter, enjoy :)
On the tenth day I heard the Impala's roaring. I jumped out of my bed, throwing away the book I was reading and ran downstairs; my bare feet smacking the floor.
"Grandpa!" I shouted to Bobby "It's them!"
I stormed out of the house, stopping in front of the car.
"Winchester!" I yelled in anger throwing myself against Dean who was climbing out of the car "You dick!" my fists hit his chest "A text?! You sent me a freaking text!" I shouted in rage "Do you know how worried I was?"
I took a step back trying to calm down. Dean just looked at me with guilt; Sam got out of the car and cleared his throat. He looked nervous.
"And you!" I hissed pointing a finger at him "You're supposed to be the reasonable one! You should've called and…"
"You might wanna drop the crap, Blake." Bobby said from the door frame and I turned in anger to him but he just nodded to the car
Then I saw the little figure on the back seat. I quickly looked back at Sam and Dean. They were tired and sad. I knew well these dark faces saying a hunt didn't go well.
"Lisa?" I quietly asked
Sam looked so smashed and Dean didn't answer me, just gave the boy sign to get out of the car. My heart sunk.
"Shit" I cursed under my nose and took a step back so the kid could climb out. He had dark hair and eyes and was about eleven. The kid looked exhausted and in grief, dark circles around his eyes. He needed rest and good care to recover. It wasn't going to be easy for him.
"Ben" Dean turned to the boy "This is Blake. And that's Bobby"
"Hi, Ben" I said trying to give him comforting smile; I knew what was it like to lose a parent
The kid gave an empty look, still somehow full of disapproval. And I was sure that the fact I was wearing only Dean's plaid shirt and boyshorts had nothing to do with that. Ben then quickly turned his eyes back to Dean. I could swear I saw accusation.
"C'mon" Dean put his hand on Ben's shoulder and leaded him to the house "I'm gonna show you where you'll sleep"
"The attic" I said and Dean turned surprised "I organized nice room there"
I didn't think it was the time to explain him I had been so worried that sitting and doing nothing had been driving me crazy so I had always been careful to have something to do. Dean nodded and he and Ben hid in the house. Bobby crossed his hands and we both looked at Sam in irritation.
"You've got some explaining to do" I stated. "And you better call Emma before she has ripped your balls" and I entered the house; Bobby let a short laugh and followed me
It turned out that vampires had attacked Lisa and her boyfriend, some doctor called Matt, while they had been on a date. I was grateful that the kid hadn't witnessed that. Sam and Dean had hunted the entire nest down. The huge surprise was that Lisa had pointed Dean as Ben's guardian in case something happen to her. It was good for the boy to have father figure in his life and it being Dean was even better. But I knew Ben hated me. God, I hated myself. If Lisa was with Dean, not with this Matt guy, she was still going to be alive. And the only reason Dean wasn't with her was… me. If I had died as I was supposed to by the hands of the demon possessing my father, I wouldn't be able to change so many lives. And Ben was going to be with his Mom and Dean, having nice happy life. But I escaped the Fates and everything was different. The only thing that was holding me from hating myself was that Dean would never turn into a demon. So the only thing I could do for Ben was to be there for him and help him cope with his grief.
Later the same night I was waiting for Dean to come out of the bathroom so we could talk. I knew he was upset. And the responsibility for Ben had caught him off guard.
"Hey, big boy" I softly smiled at him when he entered the room "Come here" I patted the bed and he tiredly dragged himself to the spot I showed him
He was so exhausted. I gently undressed him, leaving only his T-shirt and boxers on. I stood in front of him and kissed his forehead, shoving my fingers through his hair. Dean wrapped his hands around me, burying his face in my chest.
"Wanna talk about it?" I quietly asked but he shook his head "Go to sleep then" I softly pushed him back so he could lie down and I cuddled next to him; I turned off the lights
Dean rubbed his eyes and sighed deeply. He was really troubled.
"What's the problem?" I asked, even though I had my hypothesis
He was silent for a while but I was patient. He needed time to organize his thoughts and feelings.
"Ben's my responsibility now… How could Lisa even think I can take care of her son?!"
"Because you're wonderful caring person" I retorted "Because you're the only one she could trust to keep the most important person in her life safe. Plus, the kid is really fond of you." Dean didn't seem to believe me "It's gonna be fine, you'll see. I'll help you, I promise. Sam and Bobby will help, too. C'mon, Dean" I sighed "You raised Sam and you did well. What makes you think you'll fail with Ben?"
He was silent again. I knew what was going on in his head. He was loathing himself again.
"Dean" I gently said, and cupped his cheek turning his head towards me "Remember when I told you I'm gonna repeat one and same thing until you start believing it's true?" I asked
"Yeah…" he muttered
"Well, consider that I told you that same thing again" I stated "I believe in you, Dean. It's about damn time you start believing in yourself, too."
We were silent for a long time, but he was still unease. He couldn't fall asleep.
"About what you told me on the wedding…" Dean started hesitantly "I…mhp…" he tried again "you know… I…"
I leaned on my elbows so I could see him better in the gloomy room; the moon shone through the windows casting dark shades all over the room. He was talking about the "I love you" that had slipped my lips. I didn't want to scare him or force him into anything. It was hard enough to persuade him to keep our relationship on something more than just-friends level. Asking more of Dean, especially when feelings and talking wasn't his strong point, was cruel and pointless. I had to reassure him everything between us was fine just the way it was.
"Dean, I didn't tell you that because I want you to say it back to me" I stated quietly "I told you that because I needed you to know how much you mean to me. I don't need you to say it, ok? If you don't feel the same…" I kept mum for a second, trying not to think about the fact what this, if true, would cause to my heart "It's okay. I told you that because I wanted to. It's really all right if you don't say it back. No matter the reason"
"You're amazing" he mumbled and wrapped a hand around me "But I… I do feel… the same" he muttered
"That's enough for me" I smiled softly and put a tender kiss on his cheek
I snuggled comfortably next to him and with a smile I drifted off. I could swear that I heard quiet and hesitant "I love you" to escape his lips but I was probably just dreaming.
So this chapter was a bit shorter than ussual or at least I think so :D but I hope you liked it. Please, drop me a review and tell me what you think of it :)
