Naruto-Puberty and Ninja War
A Naruto Fanfic
A humorous version of the future
Involving lots of pubic stuff
By Niko SiMamu
Rated M (ooh)
Chapter 29: Ruusu Ken
"So are you going to stay in the Akatsuki?" Sakura whimpered.
"I don't know" Sasuke replied sharply.
"Please, Sasuke, take me with you" Sakura cried.
"Don't you remember what happened the last time you tried to make me 'take you with me'?" Sasuke chortled.
"You tried to kill me" Sakura replied.
"Still want to come?" he asked.
"Let me get back to you on that" Sakura answered.
"Sasuke," Naruto said, "if you try to leave I won't let you."
"I know" Sasuke muttered.
Naruto stared deeply and angrily as team Taka started to leave. Naruto charged at Sasuke with his rasengan ablaze. As the ball of chakra got Sasuke in the back he yelped. As he fell to the floor he growled. He coughed up some blood but got up slowly and turned to Naruto.
"You'll regret that" Sasuke threatened.
"No I won't, you'll be the only one regretting" Naruto replied.
"What?" Sasuke asked.
"What?" Naruto replied.
"Die."
"No, return."
"I'm not a Pokémon."
"What?"
"Doesn't matter, now, goodbye Naruto and farewell Sakura" Sasuke said as he and Taka left, not turning back.
"So when am I going to regret?" Naruto shouted.
"One day" Sasuke answered.
"Stop, Sasuke!" Sakura shouted as she ran at Sasuke's back and held him like when he used his curse seal for the first time.
"This brings back some déjà vu" Sasuke mumbled.
"Please, don't go" Sakura cried.
"I'm a wanted criminal. I must go or I'll pay for my sins with death" Sasuke replied.
"How will you repopulate your clan without a girl?" Sakura asked.
"I'll just have to come back one day. But, for now, I've got to make some important decisions about my future. I'll be back one day, I promise. But 'till then, I won't cut my hair again till I return" Sasuke wagered and as he pulled away from Sakura he left his former teammates. Again.
"Time to form a retrieval team, I'm thinking Shikamaru, Choji, Neji, Kiba, Gaara and Rock Lee" Naruto said.
"Never learns" Sasuke mumbled as he left.
"No, Naruto. Let him go" Sakura whimpered.
"But Sakura!" Naruto whinged, in an Eric Cartman fashion.
"It's your choice whether you after him. He promised he'd be back one day" Sakura told Naruto.
"He only told you that so you'd let him go," Naruto replied, "He's never coming back unless forced to. I'll be back tomorrow. But, for now, I've got to go make the climax of this story."
"Okay, be safe" Sakura whispered.
"I'll try" Naruto replied.
Naruto entered the ramen bar where he was sat with four other selected individuals.
"So... what's the task?" one with a cat perched on his shoulder asked who sat on Naruto's right.
"Come on, Tsume-kun, you know. You were there when it was decided!" Naruto laughed.
"True, but I was just asking what others were thinking" Tsume said.
"But what are we doing?" Another one said two seats from Naruto's left, of who had a long ponytail.
"C'mon, Neji, like you can't guess. Although it may cause a case of serious déjà vu" Naruto replied.
"Yuri Ugarte was Sasuke Uchiha" Tsume informed Neji.
"And so he left and now we're gonna go retrieve him. Again. Screw you, Naruto, screw you! Will it be like last time? Most of us almost f**king died! And he has stronger comrades now!" Neji screamed.
"That may be. But we're stronger too. And we have stronger comrades. We have the leader of the best ANBU squad" Naruto told him.
"Your team was the best because you had Sasuke's team in it!" Neji complained once more.
"No! They were only half of our greatness! We real leaf ninjas made up the other half!" Naruto shouted at him.
"Actually, Naruto, he's right. It's going to take more than five of us to defeat Sasuke and his team" a female voice on the others side of Tsume told him.
"What? Lea, are you serious? How can you say that? Especially since you were on the other half of the team" Naruto cried at her.
"That's just the thing. Tsume verse Leon and it's a tie, Sakura verse Kimiga and it's a tie or a win for them because Kimiga has the power of the curse seal and horrific anger and a passion to serve Yuri-I mean Sasuke. Shin verse me and it's easily a win for him as I was the weakest in the team. You verse Sasuke and who knows how it could come out, most likely a tie again. It just doesn't seem like the odds are for us. And with this team Rock Lee v Kimiga wouldn't go well but Neji and I could defeat Shin. What are their real names again?" Lea explained.
"So what you're saying is that the odds are against us again? Those are my favourite kind of odds. Te he" Naruto said cockily.
"Shin's name is Suigetsu, Leon's name is Zed and Kimiga's name is Juugo" Tsume told her.
"I will give it all to bring back competition for Sakura's heart... on second thought... screw this, I'm out of here!" Rock Lee exclaimed and got up and left.
"Well, guess we need a replacement. Tsume, I'm going to leave that up to you" Naruto said.
"Hey, Tsume, aren't you from the same genin generation as us?" Neji questioned.
"Yes, don't you remember me? I was second from top of the class. One behind you" Tsume explained.
"Um, Tsume, back on task please" Naruto said.
"Oh, right. In the past few generations of ninja provided the strongest currently, from the leaf village, are Naruto, Sasuke and one other. This one other is from the generation before yours Neji. Her name is Ruusu Ken. She is from the best swordsman clan in the village. I believe she slept with Yuri during his time here. Off screen, I think I saw it on Suigetsu's porn site" Tsume explained.
"I thought he shut it down?" Lea said.
"Because you ordered him to shut it down, no" Tsume replied.
"Why the hell not?" Lea exclaimed.
"He loved his porn site" Tsume answered.
"Freak" Naruto chortled.
Everyone turned to Naruto with harsh glares.
"Look who's talking" Neji laughed.
"F**k you, Neji. F**k you" Naruto replied.
"So are we going to go ask her to join the team?" Lea changed the subject.
"Yes" Tsume replied.
"Okay, training time. Come get me, a******s" a confident female voice said in a dark room.
The room lit up as the clashing of swords echoed around the room. As the lights were turned on layers of unconscious, male, bodies lay on the floor around one scantily clad seventeen year old girl who crouched down with two blades raised as she extended her arms sideways into the air.
"Damn, don't I love kicking men's a***s. Now, Tsume-kun, what do you want?" the female said as she rose from the ground and put her katanas in the sheaths on her back.
"We want you to help us capture Sasuke Uchiha" Tsume replied.
"Sounds fun, I'd love to help beat a man" the female replied.
"Thank you, Ruusu" Tsume thanked.
Ruusu wore a provocative red robe which exposed a large amount of her DD cup cleavage. She also wore a black mini skirt and her forehead protector as a belt, like Ino. She had dark hair that went down to the tip of her neck and swerved to one side of her forehead with a few loose strands over her face. She had black Akatsuki-like ninja shoes.
"So, what ever happened to Yuri Ugarte? Wasn't he in your team? Dang, he was a nice piece-" Ruusu said.
"He was Sasuke Uchiha in disguise. When Sasuke performed a shadow clone jutsu the two split and now Yuri is his own person. Both of them are unable to use transformation jutsu as it's been sealed from them as they were one for too long. Now Yuri Ugarte goes by Yuri Uchiha" Tsume explained to her.
"So I've slept with Sasuke Uchiha? Hope I end up having a sharingan wielding baby! Nah, I'm kidding. But it would mean my child would kick every other kid in its class' but" she laughed.
"With you for a mother it would probably do that anyway" Tsume replied.
"Oh, Tsume, you're so sweet. Now I'm back on the market I think I ought to try you out for size. And let's hope it's a big size!" she laughed once more.
"Ruusu-chan, are you asking me out on a date?" Tsume asked with a smirk.
"Only if you want me to" she replied and pulled his chin close and then pushed him back away as she turned her head.
"Dang, that girl kicks a*s" Lea said.
"It also appears she wants to get down funky with Tsume" Naruto said back.
"Yep" Neji added, not sure which one he was agreeing to, hopefully both, for he was rather mesmerised by their new comrade.
"Um, Tsume, it's time to go" Naruto called.
"Coming, Naruto" he replied and the team left the building and the injured, male, ninjas.
"Bye, Sakura. This time I hope to succeed in bringing back Sasuke" Naruto said to Sakura as they said another farewell as they parted once more.
"Good luck, but there's no pressure as he promised to return" Sakura replied as she and Naruto hugged.
"I'll say it again, he was lying" Naruto replied.
"Still," Sakura said, "been a while since we didn't go on a mission together."
"Speaking of which, why don't you want to be on the retrieval team?" Naruto questioned.
"Because she wants to be with me back in the leaf!" Rock Lee suddenly shouted from behind Sakura, he was here to say goodbye also to Naruto's team.
"Why aren't you going?" Sakura asked.
"I don't want there to be any more rivals for your heart" Rock Lee replied.
Sakura smacked round the head.
"I'm not going as I feel my heart won't be in it if I go. See ya later, Naruto" she said.
He nodded and his retrieval team left the village.
Again.
