Oh shit, guys.

Someone reviewed the last chapter asking me not to let her die without seeing her son again and now I'm actually considering it. I'm a terrible person.

Anyway, enjoy a chapter of angst/fluff/other shit.


I didn't leave her side for four days. She turned over a couple times, and mumbled in her sleep (my name, mostly, just "Ben" over and over), but she didn't wake up. Rey came in as soon as was allowed every morning and left as late as she could each night. She held me, but she could tell instinctively that I didn't want her to kiss me or anything. Actually, wait. She was in my head. She knew. Right. The doctors made an exception to the visiting hours for me because I was her son, although I had a suspicion that it was actually because they thought I'd Force-choke them to death if they didn't, so I slept there, next to my dying mother. On the third day, when Rey arrived, I immediately wrapped my arms around her and buried my head in her shoulder as she sat down. "Ben, what is it, are you okay?" I shook my head. I was losing it again. I was going back, slipping back into what I used to be, avoiding the pain… "Rey," I looked into her eyes, "what if she never wakes up? What if I never see her again, and I never get to tell her that I'm sorry for everything. I've never really had a chance. What if I lose everything I wanted but never realized I had? My mother means everything to me, Rey, I couldn't-"

"I know. I know, Ben." She knew. I could tell that she knew. (Btw, "What If?" is the title of a movie that Adam Driver has a major part in, and a movie that I happen to love. More on that later) She loved me. And I loved her. I could hold her until the end of time. And she was going to help me get through this. "Yes. I am," she said in response to my thoughts. "I love you."

"I know." Beside us, though we didn't notice, my mother's face formed a melancholy smile.

We sat there for the rest of the day, and Rey's presence helped ease my doubts about everything. Then, the next day, everything changed.

I woke up around three in the morning. I looked at the clock and thought, it's so fucking early. Why am I not tired? I felt for Rey and found her asleep. Good. One of the night-shift doctors was in the room, busying herself with some papers, likely so I wouldn't see her blushing (she'd probably been checking me out [because he's so effing hot]). I looked over at my mother, and suddenly realized why I had woken up. Her heart monitor was beeping much, much faster. It was going at a normal heart rate. Her heart was beating. Her body was fighting. I looked at her, and as I watched, her eyes slowly opened.

"Ben," was all she said. "Mom."

"I love you." I was already crying. Fuck, I thought. Rey! Rey, wake up. She's awake! Wake up!

What, Ben?

My mother's awake. Get down here, now!

"Mom… I'm sorry." The tears were flowing freely now. "I'm so, so sorry, about everything. I mean, I killed my fucking father. But not even that, I mean, I broke your heart. I hurt you so much, and I can't ever take that back, no matter how much I want to, and now I might never talk to you again and the final thing I want you to hear me say is I'm sorry. It's all I have left to say. I'm sorry. I love you, Mom. Please… don't give up on me." And, just like that, I was rambling. (And, just like that, I'm sobbing while writing fanfiction!) But I needed to say that. "Ben, I'll never give up on you. Honestly, even if I die here, in this bed, which is more than likely, I'll not have given up on you. I helped Rey bring you back. That was all I wanted. I wanted to see my son's face again. And you gave me that. I love you so much, Ben. Also, my final wish is that you marry that girl out there. You deserve her." I laughed at that. "Mom, I can't get my guilt to just disappear, but I'll marry her. That was the plan the whole time."

"Good."

"What are we talking about?" Rey's voice permeated the eerily quiet (other than our voices) infirmary. I immediately tried to cover up. "Um, nothing."

"Rey, I want to thank you."

"What?" She seemed genuinely surprised by my mother's greeting.

"What else did you expect, Rey?" I asked. "She loves you like a daughter, and there's no surprise there. She was so disappointed when she got a son, and even more disappointed when he turned to the Dark Side. I've been a disappointment my whole life, that's nothing new."

"You never disappointed me, Ben," Rey replied. "I love you, Rey."

"Yeah, I know. What do you want to thank me for?" she asked, turning back to Leia.

"You brought him back. You gave me my son back. And I can't ever thank you enough for that."

"Allowing me to make out with him on a daily basis is thanks enough." I laughed, and Rey followed suit, with Mom in the background, watching us amusedly. We both eventually stopped laughing, became serious and looked at her. "Leia Organa Solo, as your son's all-but-betrothed - yes, I see you over there trying to look innocent, don't think I don't know your intentions - I hereby forbid you from dying for one week. You have to live a week, so we can all have it together. We never really got that," Rey said. She smiled. "I would love that."


You're welcome.

I was never really going to kill her without her waking up, although I did semi-seriously consider it.

Yeah, I think I mentioned in an author's note earlier on that "What If?" is an Adam Driver movie that I really love, something about the "I just had sex and I'm about to eat nachos" line that I wanted to give to Kylo yada yada yada.

But basically, I had a girls' day with my mom today and we did an Adam Driver marathon, so basically, we watched "This Is Where I Leave You" in which he's an immature baby-like human person, and then we watched "What If?" in which he's an immature baby-like human person.

In both movies, there were a couple great moments that I plan to make into Star Wars-themed memes. For example, in "This Is Where I Leave You" there's a moment where he says, "I'm an irredeemable asshole" and you can probably figure out how that relates to Star Wars.

I'm sorry that this chapter is more funny than serious (I'm only sorry because most of this fic is serious), but it kind of needed some humor. And yes, there will be a proposal, and yes, probably a wedding.

Also, I want to tell a little story, followed by a question for all of you.

I used to think Dramione was impossible and stupid and how could anybody ship that. And then I read an absolutely amazing Dramione fic on this website called "The Seven Deadly Sins" and it changed my mind forever. It is now the fic I use to convince my friends to ship Dramione.

Someone reviewed the last chapter saying I'd converted him/her to Reylo, and now I'm wondering: is this fic good enough to be the Seven Deadly Sins of Reylo? Tell me, because I really want to know!

Anyway, this A/N is already way too long, so…

I love you all!

Keep being amazing and review please it's the only part of life I enjoy other than my girlfriend!

And read the Johnlock fic I'm about to post (you can find it on my profile)!

Love,
Allie