If I replied to your review, you know that I said that the next update would take some time to come. But this chapter was already beta'd so I decided to update it anyway. It's the next chapter that won't be updated very soon. Sometimes, RL sucks really, really hard.

I hope you are all enjoying the summer so far and that you enjoyed Eclipse (because I certainly didn't. But here's not the place to discuss how those people ruined my favorite book of the series).

Thanks to my beta, faite-comme-moi for handling this very important chapter. I'm already feeling for you for the ones you'll have to deal with after!

Disclaimer: Still not owning anything Twilight-related. SMeyer does.

And please, please, please. If you want to review (and I hope you'll want to), read the End Notes before doing so. Please. Thanks.


Chapter 27 A Blacks' Black Day

Jacob's POV

Friday, January 16th.

I just wished the stupid truck would go faster. Not that I was driving slow. I was already flirting with speeding but trying not to overstep the limit, knowing that the boss wouldn't like me getting a fine. I was late, though. I was supposed to meet Billy for a quick lunch fifteen minutes ago. I only had a short break at noon but it had become a sort of tradition for me to go to my Dad's for my breaks on Fridays. I didn't like knowing he was alone all day long. He had friends, sure, but he couldn't really go around town as freely as he wanted to. If people didn't go and visit him, he had little opportunity to have company. Besides, even if Billy didn't admit it out loud, he was feeling sad and lonely now that I'd moved out. I wasn't far away but it wasn't the same. I'd taken the next step in my life and although living with Bella was truly amazing and felt like the right place to be, I missed my father's messy house. I missed my messy bedroom.

So I was more than happy to come over at least once a week as if to make sure that nothing had changed. But even though Port Angeles wasn't in theory that far away from La Push, you never knew when there would be roadwork forcing you to wait forever until you reached your destination. Then, the spare parts supplier had been clever enough to ask a clueless new employee to make sure we got everything we had ordered. And when I say clever, I'm being sarcastic. I thought he would never find his way in the stockroom. It wasn't such a maze! I almost spotted everything before he did. It was as if the entire world had decided that I wasn't going to see my father today. Stupid world.

We finally made it into Forks, which meant that we weren't so far away anymore. If I was lucky I could just swing by and say hi to Billy even if lunch looked more or less out of the question right now. I would have made it up to him by going tonight if I didn't already have something planned. As if he could read my mind, Andy turned his head toward me.

"Do you have plans for tonight?" We hadn't been speaking a lot, just listening to the radio. Andy wasn't the type of guy who talked, anyway. At the garage, we soon found out that his initial shyness was because he didn't know us at all. He had quickly overcome it, though. Now, he drank beer faster than I did. There was still some work to do on the talking part but, at least, the guys weren't making fun of him anymore.

"Yeah. We're going out for my birthday." I couldn't help the grin on my face when my mind recalled what Bella and I did two days ago, when it really was my birthday. Well, actually, Bella was the one who did stuff. I simply had to enjoy. And man, we hadn't done that in weeks. It was clear that we both missed being so close all the time. Tonight was supposed to be even better. I couldn't wait to come back home.

"That's cool. What are you going?"

"Simple stuff. A movie and going to the restaurant, I guess." What I wasn't telling him was that Bella and I were going to have sex tonight, too. I didn't want to be the sort of guy who had to be restricted to special days and hours to have sex with his wife. It was different for us because we didn't have a choice; we were following doctor's orders. I knew it was going to be mind-blowing. Wednesday's activities had relieved me of more of my sexual frustrations so I was going to take my time tonight. I wanted to enjoy Bella. From the look on her face when she made the suggestion, she wanted to enjoy me as well. Not that I was going to complain.

"What movie are you going to see?" Andy asked, bringing me out of my little daydream. He was curious today.

"I don't really know, actually. Did you hear if any were good?"

"I went to see that Daybreakers movie the other day. It was kind of okay. It's about a world full of vampires and they're running out of human blood and there's this scientist who doesn't drink human…"

"My wife doesn't like horror movies," I cut him off, my hands clenching the steering-wheel. It was a lie; Bella liked all kinds of movies. Yet, I wasn't going to go see one about vampires. Andy couldn't know it but vampires that didn't drink human blood existed in real life, according to Bella. I seriously doubted it even if it wasn't the point. Bella wasn't going to see a movie about vampires. Period. She shouldn't even know there was such a movie out. I wanted our evening to be perfect. No drama.

"Yeah, girls aren't big fans of these things. I guess you'll be stuck watching some chick flick." He gave a small laugh at his joke, making me wonder what was up with him. It basically was the longest non-job related conversation we had ever had. I wasn't complaining. Sitting in a truck for more than one hour without talking wasn't something I particularly enjoyed. "Is that her? I mean, your wife?" He pointed to the glossy, but a bit dirty, photograph glued next to the steering wheel.

Going to our supplier to get spare parts was my job, I was the only one to do it. It may have had to do with the fact that I was the first employee hired by our boss. At the time when he opened the garage, even though I was only 16, he had to give me more responsibilities to get the business started. I hadn't minded given that, soon after, Bella broke up with me and I needed something else to focus on. I kept on getting more responsibilities until I was the boss of everyone one except the big boss. I liked being so involved because the boss was thinking about opening another garage and making me manager of the one in La Push while he would be out earning more money. I hadn't talked to Bella about that yet as it wasn't really official news. But when it would be, I'd be making more money, which was a great improvement.

Because I was the only one allowed to drive to the supplier, I was the only one using the truck. I took some liberties and customized it a bit. The best thing was what Andy was pointing at right now: Bella's picture, next to where my right hand rested on the steering wheel. I liked looking at the picture to think that in a sense, Bella was with me when I was working. Although the picture was rather old, now that Bella had cut her hair she looked exactly like she did four years ago. Every time I looked at the reproduction of her smile, I couldn't help smiling in return. She looked so happy in this picture.

"Yep, that's her," I answered, slowing down to make room for a fire truck coming behind me at full speed. Why did everyone have to slow me down today?

"She's pretty." I couldn't agree more. Well, I thought Bella was more than pretty. She was gorgeous but I wouldn't have been very happy with Andy if he had used that particular adjective.

Andy then proceeded to tell me of his plans for the evening and I learned that he was going out with the guys from the garage. It had been a long time since I'd done something like that. Anyway, I preferred spending time with the pack when I wasn't with Bella. I felt much closer to them than to my co-workers. No surprise about that.

We finally made it to the garage. I could smell smoke in the air but nobody else seemed to be alarmed by it. It must just be my sense of smell which was more developed than theirs. Linking the fire truck to the smell, I assumed that there was a fire at the edge of the forest, next to the beach. It wasn't unusual for people to not completely extinguish their bonfires. It was getting on our nerves but it didn't look like it was going to change anytime soon.

I went to ask the boss if it was okay to take my break now and to unload the truck after. He gave me the "yes" I had expected so I quickly went to the back of the garage to get my motorcycle. I didn't really want to wear the helmet since it was more of a pain than anything else. I didn't need it but yet all this crap about people finding out that we were different if I ended up having an accident was forcing me to wear it. Besides, Bella felt safer when I had it on. And knowing how small La Push was, if I didn't wear it, someone was bound to see me and to tell her. I didn't want an argument over such a little thing. So, I put the helmet on and was off on the road.

A few seconds later, though, I had to slow down to let an ambulance pass me. Okay. What was going on this time? I didn't want people to be stupid and get hurt, especially not tourists. We had wooden stakes with security guidance all over the beach. If people decided to not follow them and be reckless it wasn't our fault. Yet, if something like that had happened, I was going to be stuck in town tonight. Couldn't the world be quiet and behave for just one evening?

And then, it hit me. Wait. Wait, wait, wait. Why was this ambulance directly in front of me? Why was it taking the exact same road as I was? Why was it rushing toward my father's house? I lifted my helmet enough and the smell of smoke, still in the air, attacked me stronger than ever. There were different layers in it as if a lot of different stuff was burning at the same time. What the hell was going on? I had a bad feeling about what was going on. A really bad feeling. I sped up and arrived on the dirty road just after the ambulance.

There was a big cloud of dust left after its passage but it didn't hide the huge mess in front of me. The smell and the sight together were sickening. I had to clutch to the motorcycle in order not to lose my balance. There were fire trucks, the one I'd let pass and another, there were cops. There was a lot of activity but for me, it was as if the place had gone silent. No screams, no sound, nothing. I dumped my helmet to the ground, thinking that maybe, if this barrier was off, the scene would change back to normal, to how it was supposed to be, to what I expected.

It didn't. It didn't because when I opened my eyes again, the house was still burning and I still couldn't believe it. It wasn't a house anymore, it was just material being eaten by fire. It was a huge bonfire and it was replaying the sight I witnessed so often on the beach. It shouldn't be there. It wasn't its place. I tried to walk yet my legs were shaking so much that I knew one step would send me to the ground. I was stuck where I was standing, watching the house disappear. Even if the firemen stopped the flames, it would be too late. It would be over. Nothing could be the same inside. I felt a pang in my chest at this simple thought. A single tear rolled down my cheek and I didn't try to stop it.

I don't know how long I stayed motionless. My brain wasn't able to process everything that was going on around me. The only thing that mattered was the house slowly slipping away from me, my memories burning with it. As I watched the fire hoses sending water to the flames and extinguishing the already too destructive fire, I saw all the vivid memories that I had with this house flashing in front of my eyes. I didn't want it, it was too painful but I couldn't escape it.

Suddenly, I was five again, lying in bed with my mom next to me, reading my favorite story. I leaned toward the small book, pointed at the page and read. One word. The first one I'd ever read: blue. My mom's smile that night was imprinted in my mind and I was the one who brought it on her face.

I was seven and every Saturday I would lie on the couch in the morning, much too early for my dad's taste and I would watch the Superman cartoon that I used to like. I would drink the hot chocolate Mom gave me before going to work and I would feel like the happiest kid in the world.

Then I was a bit older and every single week night, Rachel and Rebecca would take over the TV and watch this show of theirs that I hated because it was at the same time as the show that I was interested in watching. Every single day I complained about it but I never won the remote control. There were two of them and they were older. I didn't have a chance.

I was eight and I was curled up on my grandfather's lap on a dark night. He was telling me about the Quileute legends, about men who morphed into wolves, about the cold ones, the people who drank human blood. They were just horror stories for me back then. I was very scared but I didn't show it because I, too, wanted to be a wolf and only the bravest men could become one.

I was ten and I had the greatest birthday party ever. I could see the faces of the young Quil and Embry in my head, along with the faces of other boys whose names long ago. But Quil and Embry, they already were my best friends. My mom had organized a big treasure hunt in the too tiny house that had looked like a battlefield after everybody left. We ate the most gigantic chocolate cake I'd ever seen that day.

I was eleven, it was Halloween. It was raining and I was sitting on the porch, still wearing my werewolf costume. I was sitting with Rachel and Rebecca, the three of us holding hands and trying to understand that our mom would never come back home from the store because the road had been too slippery, the tree too close, the impact too great. She didn't stand a chance. She was gone and she wasn't coming back. Never.

I was fourteen and I was standing on the same porch, at the top of the stairs, waving goodbye to Rebecca and her soon-to-be husband. I didn't understand why she was leaving us when I needed her so bad. I didn't understand why she was going so far away, as if she didn't love us anymore. The very same year, I was locked in my room, Rachel knocking on the door, trying to make me come out. I didn't do it because I was too angry. She was leaving for college, abandoning us, too, and all the women in my family were gone and I was lost.

I was sixteen and right here, on the porch, I came home from the greatest evening of my life. I was feeling funny but Bella had told me that she liked me more than her stupid classmate who ruined the movie by getting sick. And then all hell broke loose. One remark, a sudden flash of anger and poof. I wasn't there anymore. I was a wolf, embracing my destiny and scaring me to death. That very night my new life started, in front of this house.

I was sixteen again, sitting on the couch, completely numb after Leah's funeral. The TV was on but I wasn't watching it. Bella wasn't either. She was curled up on my side, desperately trying to lessen the pain. She cried, stroked my cheek, said she didn't want to lose me, that she cared too much about me to bear it if I was going to end up like Leah. The next second, she was kissing me, tears in both of our eyes. Our first kiss. And also the first time Bella asked me to stop phasing. It was the first time I told her I loved her. I knew she wasn't ready, it was too soon but it had slipped and I needed to say it.

Just three months after that, Bella was going to leave for college. I didn't want her to even though I had no choice. The day before she left she came to my house, saying that she had tricked Charlie into believing she had forgotten something at Emily's. Before I knew it, we were both in my bed, naked, making love for the first time. It was awkward yet, at the same time, it had been one of the most amazing nights of my life.

The Christmas of this same year, Bella once again came to my house and I thought it was to say goodbye given that the break was over and she had to go back to Seattle. I couldn't have been more wrong. Bella broke my heart that day. She broke up with me because she was afraid and insecure and it was the entire fault of the idiot who was now bound to be my brother-in-law.

And then, I was eighteen, coming home from Charlie and Sue's wedding. I hated it. I hated the fact that Bella had been there and that I still felt exactly the same toward her when it was clear that she had moved on. But to my surprise, she was waiting for me, at my house, sitting on the stairs, smoking. It had taken so long afterwards to get her to give up cigarettes. She was there to tell me that she lied, quite convincingly actually, and that she wasn't as happy as she pretended to be, that she hadn't really moved on. She asked if we could try to be together again. I couldn't believe it. It had been one of the most blissful evenings of my life.

Because most of the best times of my life had been spent there, in a house that didn't exist anymore.

I was in shock because I'd never imagined that this house would cease to exist one day. It'd always been a part of my existence and I'd thought that it would still stand long after my death. I'd lived in this house for 23 years, but now it was just a heap of ashes with four walls still standing by a thread. All the rest was gone. Gone. Never coming back.

Slowly, the flames were disappearing under the tons of water sent by the firemen. I felt water on my own face but it was rain, as I was too shocked to cry. The rain helped the fire hoses until eventually, the flames disappeared completely. The smoke became stronger, encircling the whole place in a thick grey cloud. My eyes locked on the smoke stretching toward the sky. I couldn't bear to look at the remains of the house. It hurt too much. I wanted the world to fade, to leave me alone. However, I was also slightly aware of someone talking but I didn't realize they were talking to me until I felt them grasp my arm. I shook my head and painfully looked down at the cop standing beside me.

"Is it your house, Sir?"

"What…what happened?" I stammered, finally finding the strength to move to take a step forward. I needed to know what happened. I needed to know what had caused this disaster.

"Is it your house?" the cop asked again, not answering my question and blocking my way with his arm.

"Yes…no. I mean…no. It used to be. I used to live here. It's my father's hou..." I was about to push through the weak barrier the man provided when I stopped dead in my tracks. Oh my God. My father. I hadn't thought about him at all. Was Billy there when the fire started? Was he safe? He basically built this house, exactly like I did for mine and Bella's. The house was his work and right now he must be devastated by its loss even more than I was. The house wasn't here anymore yet he had lost more than a building. He'd lost his home. Where was he? I was his only family, he needed my comfort. He needed me.

I tried to take a step forward only to be met by the cop's arm again. He certainly didn't want me to get closer even if there was no danger at all. The fire was gone; so was the house. There was nothing left. Besides, I wouldn't have cared if there still was any danger for me. I had to find Billy.

"I need to see my father. Where is he?" I asked, pushing the cop as slightly as I could.

"Sir…listen. You need to know that…"

He was seriously starting to get on my nerves so I decided to stop listening to him. I pushed him out of the way until, in a few strides, I was at the bottom of what remained of the front stairs. I could feel the tears gathering in my eyes at the sight. Being so close to the catastrophe was worse than seeing it from a distance. Through the smoke I could discern burnt stuff, stuff that used to mean very much to me, to us. It was surreal.

I tore my eyes away to focus on Billy. He must not have been there when the house started to burn down or else I would have seen him with the cops or the firemen. Maybe he was out into town and he wasn't back yet. Maybe he didn't know what had happened. If he didn't, it was going to be harder on him. I'd just have to wait for him. Screw work. This was more important. But the thought of work crushed the assumption that Billy wasn't there. We were supposed to have lunch together. He had to be there, somewhere. I scanned my surroundings but there was no trace of my father.

The annoying cop was back beside me and I looked down at him to tell him to leave me alone and go to hell. If he didn't want to say where Billy was, he was of no use to me. I had just opened my mouth when I saw the look on his face. It was puzzling. He looked like someone who had lived this scene many times before and hadn't mastered how difficult it was. His look was full of pity with a hint of sadness and of compassion. What was wrong with him? What was wrong?

"Sir, it seems that your father…"

"Where is he?" I shouted angrily. I was still feeling the pain of watching the house crumble but anger overtook me. Even though I was usually more than fine with controlling it, what had just happened touched me to the core. I felt like I could phase at any second. I knew I couldn't but taking deep breaths wasn't helping. Nothing was helping. I needed to see Billy. I needed to see him badly because another bad feeling was invading my mind. A feeling that I hated, a feeling that couldn't be the truth.

"I'm sorry, Sir. They did everything they could but…"

"Where is my dad?" I yelled, fear taking over anger and making my voice shake.

I didn't want to hear what he had to say. I knew how the sentence was going to end even though it was false. Of course it was. There was no way on Earth it was true. Billy was there and I was going to find him, hug him and say that everything was going to be okay although it would be a lie. I turned around, the wind dissipating the thick smoke slowly. And that's when I saw it. I closed my eyes, praying that when I'd open them, the vision would be gone. My heart was pounding in my chest, my hands were shaking. However, the need to phase had disappeared. I opened my eyes but they were still there. The ambulance, the people with the blue jackets, the kind that people working in hospitals wore. Them and the covered form under the blanket. Oh hell no. No, no, no. No.

No. This wasn't happening. No. It was a dream. A very bad dream, sure. But a dream nevertheless. I was going to wake up and everything would be right again. The house would still be standing and I wouldn't be late. Billy and I would have lunch together. Exactly like we had planned. It was a dream. I was going to close my eyes, open them and my dad would still be…Oh God. Tears were rolling down my cheeks at the simple thought that he was…As fast as it had come on the first time, the urge to phase reappeared. Phasing would be easy. The wolf would take over, I would leave my feelings behind. I wouldn't hurt so much.

I couldn't phase, though. I had to make sure that what all the people here were thinking wasn't the truth. They had made a mistake and I wouldn't have to phase. I closed the empty space between the ambulance and me, leaving the cop behind, focusing right in front of me to avoid the looks I was getting. My legs were trembling. My mind wanted to see that they were wrong but at the same time, my body didn't want to. I was afraid of what I was going to see. But Billy couldn't be under this blanket. He just couldn't. He couldn't do that. Not to me. I wanted to shout at them all that they were wrong. My voice got stuck in my throat, not a word came out. I wanted to shake them until they admitted it, that they admitted that Billy was somewhere else. Somewhere safe. Some place where he was…

I was so sure that I was right but my hands were trembling like never before when I reached the stretcher. The breaths I was taking weren't helping. The tears wouldn't stop. They were going to stop soon. As soon as I had the assurance that I was right. I didn't want to lift the blanket. I had to. I bent down and did so. I took just a glimpse and my whole world collapsed. My heart tore apart, opening wounds that had never really healed. Only this time it was ten times worse. My lungs stopped working, my stomach heaved and I felt as if I was going to be sick.

They were all right. They weren't wrong. They didn't make any mistake. I hated them for this. They. Were. Right.

The pain that shot inside of me was unbearable. My heart was breaking and I couldn't take it anymore. It hurt too much. It was too hard. My whole body was screaming at me to let my control slip, to do what was going to ease the pain, if it could be eased. I tried not to forget that I had an audience, which was very difficult. I took a few steps backwards, shaking my head. My vision was blurred by the tears but my eyes were still fixed on what I had just seen. I turned around and took off, running toward the forest. The same annoying cop was shouting at me to wait but I couldn't have cared less. The second I couldn't hear his voice anymore, I phased, shredding my clothes in the process.

Scraps of jean flew around me and I was running way before the cloth touched the ground. I'd hoped that being a wolf would stop the pain. I'd hoped it would have been like it was for Seth who stayed phased for days when Leah died because it was easier for him. All it took for him to be in human form again was Bella coaxing him to phase back. It didn't work for me. The pain was devastating and I could feel its full force even when I had four legs. I wanted to run and run and run until maybe, finally, my heart would stop tearing apart.

I hit the ground with all my strength, trying to shut my mind down. I didn't want to think of all the memories I had with Billy because I knew they were the only ones I had and that I wasn't going to make more. I howled with despair, with anger, with sadness, with rage. I wanted everything to stop. I wanted the forest to swallow me. I wanted…I came to an abrupt halt when I realized where I was. I'd unconsciously come to the one I needed the most. The only one who could comfort me, if I could be comforted. The only one that I wanted to see. The only one I wanted to talk to. The only one who could see me in all my despair. And this person was definitely not the one who was coming behind me.

Go away, Quil, I thought, growling. I tried very hard to block my thoughts, to not show him what had just happened but it was too difficult. It was too fresh and everything poured into his mind. His thoughts were blank for a second before I could feel his pity.

Jake…I'm so sorry…

I said go away! Go away before I rip your head off! I didn't want his pity. I didn't want to talk to him. I didn't want anybody to see me when I was so weak.

Seeing Bella may not be such a good idea…

Shut up, Quil! Just shut up! I screamed in my mind, growling even more and ready to attack so he would leave me alone. I was vaguely aware that lunging at him wouldn't do any good yet I needed to release the tension and a fight seemed the best way to do so. Quil moved away when he saw how serious I was. He was about to leave when I remembered something.

Wait. Gimme your clothes before you go.

He knew better than to refuse. He phased back just long enough to throw me his clothes. Then, he phased again and he was gone within seconds. I phased back, collapsing to the ground when I realized that I'd been wrong. The pain had lessened while I was a wolf and now, it was worse than ever. I don't know how long I stayed there, hating myself for losing control over everything.

I stood up to put Quil's clothes on as the rain intensified. It had been just a small drizzle until now. I ran toward the high school. It seemed that everybody was in class. The hallways were empty and I wasn't comfortable being here, looking like I had spent weeks away from civilization. I didn't know where Bella's classroom was so I followed her scent. Even if my mind was confused and there were tons of different odors in the building, her scent stood above the rest.

I was at her door rather quickly. I tried to catch my breath and wiped the tears away. I needed to stop crying before facing everyone in the room. I braced myself against a wall until my eyes were dried, my body wasn't shaking and I wasn't choking anymore. I could hear someone trying to read Old English, or whatever and the laughter of everybody else. Belle scolded them, asking them to be quiet. I knew I shouldn't interrupt the class. I should have waited yet she was so close and I needed her. I knocked harshly on the door and burst into the room without waiting for an answer.

The room fell silent as every head turned in my direction with surprise. Bella was at the back, sitting on a desk. Her whole face took on a red color when she saw that it was me. She carefully got off the desk to walk to me. I was very aware of everyone watching us and was praying that I wasn't going to cry in front of them.

"Jake? What are you doing here? What…what's wrong?"

The blush vanished to be replaced by worry. I may not be crying but it didn't mean I could hide the pain I was feeling. Bella reached my side, eyeing me with fear. I wanted to hug her, to hold her close and never let go. I couldn't do this in front of an audience of teenagers, though.

"I need…to talk to you…now."

"O…kay? I'll be back in a minute. Be quiet," Bella said to her class and we were in the hallway. Alone.

I couldn't take it any longer. As soon as Bella closed the door, I tugged her hand so she was pressed to my chest. I heard her gasp with surprise but she didn't pull away. Next to her, it felt easier to bear the pain. It didn't mean it was gone but with her by my side, maybe I could find the strength to go through this tragedy.

"Jake, what's wrong? You're scaring me. Talk to me, please."

I struggled to find the right words. She tried to look up at me but I knew I would tell what was happening better if I couldn't see her face. I closed my eyes, breathed in to give me some courage.

"Billy's dead…" I couldn't go farther than that. Saying it out loud made it truer. It made the truth hit me more violently. Everything came crashing down on me once again. My tears were wetting Bella's hair until she pulled away. She gasped loudly and when I opened my eyes, I saw the pain of the news all over her face. Tears were in her eyes, threatening to escape.

"What? I mean…how? What…what happened?"

"There was a…no. I can't. I…just…I can't. Bella." I pulled her into my arms for another hug which was so strong that there wasn't any room left between our two bodies. She tensed and I realized that I must be hurting her. I couldn't do that. I'd just lost someone I wasn't ready to let go off. As much as I needed Bella's proximity, I couldn't hurt the one and a half person in front of me.

"I'm so, so sorry, Jake," Bella whispered against my chest. She didn't say anything else. She knew she didn't have to. I felt like I couldn't stop crying. I felt so cold, so empty and so sad. Even being with Bella didn't ease the pain as I thought it would.

I don't know how long we stayed there, hugging while I cried and Bella tried to comfort me by soothing my back with her hands. I didn't want to let go of her. She didn't lessen the pain yet she prevented me from losing my mind. I'd never felt so weak in my entire life and strangely, I didn't mind.

I'd be brave later. Because right now, I was only a little kid who'd just lost his dad. So I kept on crying. And Bella kept on comforting me.


Read this before reviewing! Please.

I know you must hate me right now. You may be crying and hating me. Trust me. I hate myself and I cried a lot while writing and proofreading this chapter. I just want to explain how this idea came to me. When I was outlining the entire fic one year ago, the thought of killing someone (in this case, Billy) came to me out of the blue. I thought it could be interesting to just see where it could go but I never intended to actually include it in the fic. The problem is that once I started considering it, I couldn't see the fic any other way. And I tried to rebel. Really, I did. But it didn't work. So, that's why this chapter is here. You are still welcome to hate me and I'll hand you tissues. But even if you hate me, you can review, right? This chapter (and the following ones) is the death of me so even if it's only to say that it sucked or that you cried, please, leave me a little something?

Also, I may have mentioned or not. I don't remember. I wrote an outtake which deals with what Jacob mentioned at the start of the chapter: what Bella and he did the very day of his birthday. It's a rather short smut outtake: http : / / www (.) fanfiction (.) net/s/6109573/1/Jacobs_Birthday_Present

Chapter 28: You Are Not Alone

"Every time...every time I close my eyes...I see his face, Bells," Jacob said between choked breaths. "I see his face and I want it to stop because it hurts, it hurts so much." I had to bit my lip to prevent me from crying.