Gerards POV
Nothing
there?
How can he say there's nothing there?
He's sitting there, waiting for me to answer.
He has a horribly pained look on his face.
…nothing
there?
Nothing at all?
Doesn't he see?
How can I show him
who I really am?
He fell for the person he first saw me as,
Gerard, not Gee.
Gerard is the mysterious all-knowing guy, Gee is the other one, the one no-one seems to understand.
'There's nothing there?'
"B-but…"
But
what?
He's right.
There is nothing there.
Not that he can see any-way.
"Frank…" I sound a lot more confident than I feel.
I'm not entirely sure what I want to say.
I can't find the words to show him how I feel.
I bite my lip, adamant that I'm not going to cry. That's Gerard, the emotionless person that lures every-one into his trap, then clamps down and reveals Gee, full of emotions, so that the poor person tries to struggle away.
Just like Frank is.
How can I let him know how I feel?
How can I tell him?
That's just it. I don't tell him.
I show him.
I let out a stifled sob, bringing my hand up to cover my mouth.
Frank continues to stare at me.
Eventually I just completely let go, and every single piece of hurt, fear and sadness comes exploding through my body, causing me to collapse on the floor, feeling sick and dizzy and still crying.
Frank leaps off the sofa and rushes to me, shouting my name over and over.
I continue sobbing, curling myself up inside myself, crying uncontrollably.
Frank wraps his arms around me and lifts me up, pressing me into his chest, shushing me and fanning my face, trying to bring me back down to Earth.
The tears continue, making my breath go uneven and desperate, causing me to panic.
"F-Frank! I'm sorry! I really am!" I sob into his shirt. "I'm sorry, please, don't end it, you really mean some-thing to me! You really do! Please don't end this Frankie," I pause, wanting my next words to be full of emotion.
"I love you."
I hear Frank give a quick intake of breath, every muscle in his body tenses and he sits rigid, staring into nothingness.
He doesn't hush into my ear or fan my face anymore, he just stares, dumbstruck.
"R…really?"
He stutters.
"Yes." I say, certain of my words.
I look up at him, and he looks down at me, the shock still evident on his face.
I brace myself, knowing that what happened was my fault.
"I'm sorry if it seems I just treated you like a fuck-toy, it's just that all the other guys I've ever been with have just wanted one fuck and then they go, but with you, you want to stay with me, you care about me, you fell for Gee, not Gerard.
I'm sorry and…thank-you."
We sit in silence, avoiding each others eyes.
He
mumbles some-thing, so I look up at him.
"Hm?"
He mumbles again.
I give him a questioning look.
I shift so that I can see him properly as he sits cross-legged on the floor, staring into the carpet.
I wait for him to repeat himself.
He tenderly takes my hands in his, emotionless, giving no clue as to what he's going to say next.
He looks up, our eyes meeting.
"Gee…"
"I love you too."
I give a gentle nod, allowing the tears to roll freely over my face, and the smile to pull at my lips as much as it wishes.
I press myself into a cuddle with him, massaging his hands with my thumbs.
"Thank-you Frank," I whisper. "I'll show you who I really am, Gee, not Gerard. With you, I won't hold back who I am in order to protect myself.
Frank, I put my heart entirely in your hands."
He smiles, crying also. He pulls me into a tighter hug and puts his lips to my ear.
"I'll
look after it Gee, honest.
We can really make this work.
I'll never let them hurt you, I promise."
