Got 2 pints of Hennessy next to me, let's get cracking!
He was a risk adverse guy. Gambling and risks were worth it if the benefits outweighed the potential loss.
James was sitting in the back of the classroom. His usual spot. There were no assigned seats but everyone in that class just knew not to sit there. Like an unwritten law.
He could see a pretty redhead sitting in the very front of the room talking animatedly with her friends. It was obviously not schoolwork that their discussion was about.
He had almost kissed her the other day.
That wasn't worth the risks. The price just wasn't worth it.
It all came back to him like a song that was stuck in his head.
He was looking up into her eyes. She always attracted him. Always pulled him towards like a leash and commanded his attention. James could sense it, unless his emotions were betraying him again. He always wanted her. But he didn't go for it. She was letting him. He could have sworn that she wanted it too.
Stupid! Or was he?
Maybe it was for the best.
He planned on completely ignoring her this year. It wouldn't be hard to forget someone, to fall out of love, if you didn't see them again. Just one more fucking year and he'd never see her pretty face again. How hard could it be?
It was for the best.
But he never planned on her being Head Girl. Then again, deep in his inner thought, in the logic that was always correct but he never would admit even to himself, he knew deep down Dumbledore would pick her. It wasn't her fault, she deserved it. But why the hell did he pick James Potter of all 7th year guys for Head Boy?!
He was probably the first Head Boy selected that was never a Prefect.
Or at least the first who also carried the title of most detentions awarded...
That crazy old man, he was wise obviously but James didn't deserve it with years of detentions and trouble that his friends brought under his belt. The mayhem just wasn't worth it.
Now that was a gamble right there...
James even agreed with some teachers and students that Albus had finally lost his marbles.
If only they didn't have to share a dorm.
She had a life to live. She had never wanted him in the past anyway. So why now? Nothing had changed.
Meh...
He was always lying to himself. To get his hopes up.
Like years past where if she simply smiled at him or greeted him out of manners, he would instantly assume she was fond of him as he was of her.
He wasn't that ignorant anymore.
She didn't slap him, yell at him or even hate him anymore for that matter, but it was probably cause he avoided her and she tried desperately to make their awkward relationship work.
Lily Evans was just too damn nice.
She had patched him up after Remus had tore him up, helped him back into Head's room the other night after his knee injury and even tried getting along with his friends.
James silently wished that if she were to get married, then that guy would hopefully treated her just half as much as she cared for others.
But then why did he still see himself in that mysterious man's shoes...
There was still a lot he could learn in life.
She really went out of her way to take care him. And that was the main reason he couldn't be with her.
She was growing closer and closer to him as the year went flying by.
Or was this him dreaming the impossible dream again? Lying up imaginary scenarios to give him hope to live on.
Scoffing in utter disgust at himself, he looked away from the back of her head and stared at his desk and blank parchment that was supposed to be his notes.
He never took notes. James Potter didn't need it, acing the tests without studying and his memory of lectures for homework and essays hadn't once failed him in 6 years.
He looked back up front. Class was basically over. McGonagall was talking to a few students individually as she finished her lesson early today with 10 minutes left. It was the last class of the day before dinner but she wasn't the type of teacher to let kids out early.
He was bored.
He hated boredom. It was worse than torture. Boredom caused him to think. And being bored too often made him think too much.
Everyone was talking to their friends but he didn't want to interact with others right now. He was the only guy in the room who simply sat in the class alone waiting patiently for the bell.
Sarah was in the class too. Talking to the professor about her work or something..
Maybe that was why she appealed to him as well. She was a worker and didn't simply ace tests to get by school but worked hard. Picking up even extra credit when her grade was already hitting the ceiling. Yet, she still had time to have fun, as if she wasn't always working in the library all the time.
He couldn't put her in harm's way either. She was destined to become successful at whatever she wanted to do in the future. She just had it in her. He was sure of it. A rare ability. When you wake up in the morning, you either have that desire or you don't. She brought it every day.
He would never be able to be with someone unless he was willing to see them get hurt, or worse...
So basically, never.
But he still couldn't help not comparing the two.
Lily or Sarah?
Identical almost. They were both great people who he had slight crushes on.
Sarah was always there picking him up. His anchor that kept him going. During the times Lily would reject him and somehow she'd be there healing his wounds.
He looked back at Lily and honestly forgot why he liked her in the first place.
She was always mean to him, just terrible. But right now she was laughing and conversing happily. He didn't let her present state fool her, she was a downright bitch back in the day and he would never forget that but-
Without warning, she turned around and stared right at James. She must have felt someone watching her!
Fucking idiot! Why'd he have to stare blankly in her direction!? He was daydreaming but it just 'happened' to be where she was!
She gave him a brief smile and waved.
Fuck!
The action caused the other girls she was talking to at the moment to turn to James direction to see what Lily was looking at.
James quickly stared at his blank parchment again and took his hand and held his forehead, as if reading his notes carefully but hoped they wouldn't see his nervous, blushing face.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As soon as the bell had rung, he packed his things and tried to leave the class as fast as possible before giving Lily the chance to confront him.
Speak of the devil. She was already on her way towards the door and happened to be passing his aisle. The door was in the back of the room of course but he couldn't help notice that she took a longer route and was the only one who went that way. As if she wanted to pass him on the way out for a quick word.
He took a second out to curse himself for not cleaning up early like everyone else did, like Lily. It was costing him those precious few seconds that he would have otherwise used to flee the room.
"Hey, James."
He only gave her a quick smile before returning to packing up.
"What are you up to?" She asked mostly out of politeness.
"Not much." He casually acted.
"You want to work on that homework project later tonight."
"I don't know, I'll see. I might have something to do first." He said smoothly but inside, he hoped for a quick getaway.
"Well what are you doing right now?"
"I thought I would go to the hall for some-"
He regretted his choice of words instantly. From the tone of her last few sentences, she seemed determined to do something with him for some reason and if she was even remotely paying attention, she would use his bad choice of words back on him.
"Oh okay, dinner."
Wait for it...
He was actually planning on sneaking out to Hogsmeade for a drink after a long day to recollect himself.
"You want some company?"
Yup. She caught him....
Wow. She really is persistent...
But you have to be persistent if you want anything out of life..
"Fine." He said dully, his plans for the night ruined...
"Are you okay?" She seemed to be asking him that a lot lately.
No. Leave me alone...
He wanted to say that, but what instead came out of his body language was a simple shrug that she interpretted as a yes.
Together they walked through the school grounds not saying much to each other.
James was starting to find her boring. Or maybe that was just due to his refusal to respond back with more than just a one word answer.
On the way, they walked by a lot of students going their own way until one of them stopped James.
"Hey! Potter!" A voice he never heard before called out.
He was half running towards James.. He wasn't taller than James but definitiely a bigger, burly looking guy. Who the hell is this guy?
James had his left hand holding his schoolbag over his shoulder and his wand hand inside his pocket where his wand also resided.
He gripped his wand from inside his robes in anticipation...
"Hey man, I'm sorry about hitting that bludger at you."
He loosened his grip.
"Oh that was you?"
"Yeah, my bad about that. It was-"
"Nah, don't worry about it. That was the best bludger I had come my way." James praised him and this stranger beamed instantly and warmed up from his shaky, worried posture.
"Really!?" He said, a little too excited.
"Yeah."
"If it was good then it would have made you give up on that play. Why'd you go for it, man? You're crazy."
James Potter had nothing to lose. That's why...
Instead, he just said, "Must have not seen it coming."
James could tell the Beater didn't believe him but in either case, shook his hand and walked off in his own path.
"I don't like that guy. He could have killed you, James."
He half-heartedly wished he did...
"Too bad he didn't." James mumbled, actually saying what was on his mind this time.
"What!?" She had grabbed his arm and pulled him to a stop.
He turned to look at her and she was and worried from his attitude. He hadn't planned on her hearing him.
Overreacting much?
"I'm kidding." He lied.
She didn't buy it.
But she wouldn't get a chance to add anything when they entered the Great Hall.
They sat down next to a few 1st years who were eyeing them strangely. A little too much staring...
"'Sup." James said casually at the group and they instantly returned to their dinner.
He scouted the food in front of him automatically and made for the grilled chicken. He had to wait for one of the first years before getting a hold of it himself. He had to stand up off his bench seat to reach the platter because the little 1st year had placed it back down closer to him but farther from Lily and James perspective. James made a frustrated face and grew a little annoyed at the youngster but ignored it because he was too hungry to care. He finally got it and made to put some on his plate. When he sat back down holding his plate, he stared at his plate...
Lily was piling carrots, lettuce and other vegetables he couldn't name onto his tray.
What. The. Fuck.
"Um, what are you doing, Evans?" He said, using her surname and he noticed she flinched a little at his choice of names.
"You don't eat enough vegetables." Lily stated simply.
He instantly lost interest in her.
Where was Sarah when he needed her?
"This is your plate now." James said as he piled the meat onto her plate and swapped dishes. He didn't eat enough veggies? Why was she watching what he was eating? Who cares...?
She didn't protest or say a word. But he knew how stubborn she could be.
Chewing on some meat, he felt her tapping on his shoulder.
"Potter."
Back to last name terms again, huh?
He turned to see what she wanted but was instead greeted with a carrot on his cheek.
She had held a fork inches from his face and he only fell for the trap as he turned right into it.
James glared at her mockingly. But this only caused her to treat him like a baby.
"Open up, Jamie."
"What are you, my mom? I'm not-"
Lily had taken the opportunity with his opened mouth to shove the orange colored vegetable into his mouth.
"Don't talk with your mouth full.."
James was taken back for a moment but chewed and swallowed it before turning to his meal without another word.
It wasn't that he hated vegetables, they were okay but when presented with choices, he would rather not eat it. It was like going to buffets and only eating bread instead of prime rib.
Sirius, Remus and especially Peter would understand him.
She spent most of the meal feeding him and not really eating much herself. She had scooted closer to him after he initially refused. He could feel her thigh touching his. Sometimes her elbow would rest on his shoulder. Her proximity kept him silent. Nearby students were watching them oddly but neither of them cared.
It wasn't like they were dating.
More like a couple that argued often.
"Hey, Captain." One of his teammates greeted.
"Whud'up?" James said with a full mouth. He couldn't keep up with Lily's pace.
"I was wondering if we got pract- Why is she feed-?" The Quidditch player asked after watching Lily squeeze another carrot between his half willing lips.
"Don't ask." James said but Lily only laughed.
"It looks like it might rain, are we still going to have practice?" Another one of his players came up from behind him and asked with a biscuit in her hands.
James looked up at the enchanted ceiling. The magical roof and ceiling were enchanted like a 2 way mirror so that one could see the conditions outside.
It did look ominous.
"We'll see. It's not like all our games will be in good weather conditions." He could see the disappointed looks as their faces dropped at the thought of another training session in a possible storm.
"If it rains, it's optional and not mandatory." James added.
He could feel them brighten up instantly around him like rays of radiating sunlight. He could still feel it after they left to go tell other people on the team the 'good' news.
James didn't care anymore. He felt his team was just too good this year. They played with each other for a few years and had good chemistry. Talent and chemistry was all they really needed, not practice. The Gryffindors probably didn't even need to practice and still be able beat everyone. But he planned on going undefeated this season to finish up his last year. A feat never accomplished and he hoped to put a big plaque and trophy of this accomplishment in the halls so future generations could look back at it. The team really was too good, he knew some players had been actively recruited by professional teams and done private workouts for the scouts. James couldn't be happier for them. There were talks of his players being drafted in high picks in drafts when they graduate from Hogwarts. He now knew how teachers and parents felt when they trained and raised people up to see them become sucessful.
James Potter himself was interviewed by prospective teams and national teams. He still has that copy of "Quidditch Illustrated" where he was on the cover as the projected 1st overall pick and future Hall of Famer. But he wasn't interested. He didn't want a future in professional sports.
He had retribution to deal out first...
"That was nice of you." Lily complimented.
He hoped it would rain too actually. He liked the rain because no one would be outdoor and he'd be alone. But he'd probably still practice. Mainly because he had nothing to do tonight. No school work due tomorrow. No patrolling. Dumbledore hadn't asked for anything done lately.
Which was odd.
Hopefully Albus wasn't waiting for Voldemort to make a move first. Though James wouldn't rule it out of possibility.
It was his style but not James'.
It was more like James to just go straight for their throat. To end it quickly before things escalated farther. Before others got hurt.
"Well, I'll be in the library if it does rain. So if no one shows up, maybe we can get a headstart on that essay?"
"Sure, whatever." He answered without looking at her, still lost in his thoughts.
He felt her body get up and leave. It was hard not to notice it as she was so close and touching him during the whole time that it felt almost normal.
Like a finished jigsaw puzzle. Maybe that was why he felt so incomplete now...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
James had left the Great Hall and stopped at his dorm to change and drop off his school things before heading out to the field.
He felt weird. It was the first time in years where he didn't go to training without his trusty broom. That same old model that helped him win many a games. People had suggested he get a newer, faster, more manueverable mount but he was too used it. It always turned a little to the left if he sped up but over the years he automatically learned to counter it by leaning against it. New brooms would only mess him up.
It was a shame he had to destroy it to win a game. Presently, it didn't feel like a good trade. In all honesty, it felt like a scam and he was on the bad end of a pyramid scheme. He knew he would have to buy one later to get accustom to before the next game.
As soon as he neared the hallway he knew it was raining.
Hard.
Just pouring like a waterfall. The sound of raindrops flooded the corridor and bounced off the walls in echoes. As if warning those inside the safety of the confines to stay and not go outside.
James stopped at the edge of the exit. The ground a few inches in front of his feet was wet from the seeping liquid skies. The wet pavement marked the threshold where if you cross it, you will be consumed by the storm.
He looked up at the sky and knew he would be alone. No one on the team, let alone the whole school was foolish enough to go out there.
Except James Potter.
He kept walking and rounded the arena. He made his way up to the top of the stadium and sat down at one of the sections that had a overhead canvas to cover those underneath from things such as rain.
His boredom from the lack of training only drove him sentimental.
Why hadn't Dumbledore give him any missions lately? The aging professor wasn't going out on his own, right?
Though James wouldn't be too surprised by this.. Dumbledore had done it before out of consideration of James safety.
But right now, it wasn't just business. It was personal.
There had to be a better way to identify and retrieve the artifacts and mementos Voldemort would use for his Horcruxes...
If not, he'll just destroy everything...
~~~~~~~~~~
While James was contemplating murder, Lily was camped in the library, halfway done with an essay that wouldn't be due for 2 weeks, right before winter break.
"Who is that?" Kim said randomly as she stopped studying. "What a loser. Look at that loner, Lils."
Lily hadn't chosen her and James regular window but instead chose one that gave her the best vantage point of the Quidditch field.
Looking up from her notes and in desperate need of a break, she knew before looking that it might be James. The one fool that was out in the storm. Sure enough, there was a shadowy figure out in the distance.
She didn't want to believe it but it had to be him, probably waiting for the rest of his team.
"That's James." Lily commented.
"Is he trying to catch a cold?"
"Who cares?" Lily lied terribly.
"Go get him."
"What?"
"He is a really nice guy. I never thought I would say this but he's grown up."
Lily thought she was the only one who noticed.
"Don't just leave him out there."
"I don't know what you're talking about." She returned to her studies but couldn't help but sneak a glance at him out of the window out of peaked interest.
"I think I know you well enough to tell when something bugs you."
"Yeah, he bugs me. I hate him-"
"Not anymore.. Why don't you just talk to him?"
Kim was like a female version of Remus. A deep person who could convince you of anything and make you go against your common sense.
"He doesn't want to. He's just so hard to approach lately."
Kim had reached across the desk and shut her book loudly.
Lily felt as if Kim knew very well that the person was James before this conversation started. Only used it to lock her in a difficult position.
"Fine." Lily said, defeated.
Kim had even put away Lily's work to convince her a little more.
Lily left the library and made her way out. In all honesty she still didn't want to talk to him.
Maybe it was for the best if she left him alone and stayed out of his life.
Like Dumbledore had asked for...
She'll just bring him inside and shelter him from the cold.
She stopped at the same place James had as well, right before setting out into the cold. Lily hesitated and suddenly wished she had put on more clothes and even pondered if she should run back and change..
She tugged her robes more tightly around her and ran for it. Splashing and stomping on puddles on the way.
The noise and commotion only drew his gaze to her sight as she rapidly approached him.
Her again? Does she ever quit? Why couldn't she just let him be...?
James laughed for a moment. Now he understood how she must have felt in that very second as he watched her run with the same persistence he had in the 6 years James had bugged her.
What goes around really did come back around...
He didn't want to be here when she arrived.
Lily watched him get up and casually walk out of view into an exit.
"Damnit, James." She groaned to herself.
Lily made it into the inside of the arena and took a minute to cast a charm to dry herself but she was still a little damp.
She must have walked through the entire stadium twice, every floor and room...but he was nowhere to be found. She felt like days must have gone by.
He had eluded her again. Tired with failure, she began heading towards the main entrance.
But something caught her eye.
A large 4 legged animal was coming into a side entrance from the forest.
It was a rather majestic deer. A stag. Complete with a beautiful set of antlers. It gave off a brilliant aura of radiance but it wasn't a Patronus. It was wet and looked tired and cold.
Most likely from running away from the rain.
"Hey there." Lily felt foolish for trying to pull a Dr. Doolittle and try to communicate with an animal.
But she felt so comfortable with this graceful beast...
She dropped low to the creatures level before eventually sitting down. She spent a good minute watching it from her position and the stag didn't move as well, but watched her curiously like a stray cat in the dark.
"You must be cold. I know I'm freezing." Lily reached for her wand and after a few attempts, created an enchanted fire in the middle of the coliseum's hallway. Rubbing her hands in front of the flames, she was surprised to see the stag slowly come closer, as if drawn by the warming flames.
"We better be careful. I don't want to burn this place down.." Lily laughed.
She had no idea why she was talking to something that wouldn't respond, let alone understand her.
Lily Evans might as well talk to a wall.
As predicted the stag didn't even look at her to acknowledge her words but did eventually sit down close to the makeshift bonfire.
Animals have a natural ability to sense kindness in others.
Something most humans lack immensely.
It must have saw no threat in Lily.
"You look lost, you must be far from home. Trying to hide from the rain too, huh?"
The stag only ruffled it's fur to shake off some excess water like a dog would after a dip in the lake.
"What am I doing here?" Lily pointed to herself as if the stag had really asked her that. She then gave a deflated sigh in frustration.
For some reason, she felt comfortable talking to herself with this animal. Too comfortable...
The idea in that she could confess to something who didn't understand her, but allow her the chance to admit it and get it out enticed her.
Maybe this is why people owned pets. To divulge their confessions?
"I came out here to chase after a stupid guy. I'm so dumb. See, even you are laughing at me!"
The stag only made some clacking noise with it's hooves and ruffled it's head, never looking at Lily.
"Well if you are going to listen to me, at least have something to eat. You must be hungry too." Lily said.. "Hmm, what does your kind eat?"
Lily took out her wand and drew up a tray. After a second of deep thought and she wising she watched more "Animal Planet" or the Discovery Channel more, came up with a resolution.
"How about this?"
Flicking her wand, a pile of carrots overflowed the tray.
Lily could have sworn that the stag really did laugh at her this time. It even jumped up and touched the carrots with it's nose in closer examination before staring at Lily in ridicule.
Lily could have sworn it gave her a look that James had when she tried feeding him carrots not even an hour earlier. But it was probably just her mind messing with her as James was her current focus at the moment.
"I 'know' you aren't a rabbit! And besides, you'll like it. The guy I was looking for here had some today too! And he hates vegetables!"
The animal sniffed it hesitantly.
"Don't play with your food." She said sternly.
Lily scared herself for a moment.
She had sounded like her mother for a bit there...
The stag began eating them slowly.
Smiling contently, she asked, "By the way have you seen anyone else here? I'm looking for this guy. He's like this tall."
She lifted a hand to indicate just how high.
"Black messy hair. Bright hazel eyes. He's really cute. Walks on two legs. Was wearing a blue shirt. In a hurry, he was probably running. You couldn't have missed it."
The stag tilted it's head at her before digging into it's food.
"No? Okay..." Lily sighed.
She reached out a hand and stroked it's sides without thinking but it was slowly warming up to Lily. The stag only continued eating.
"What about you? What's your story? Do you have a girlfriend back in the forest? Running from her?" Lily laughed at her own ironic scenario.
She still massaged the stag but stopped at a rough, bumpy area in it's fur.
"You got a scar here. Did you get in a fight? You really have to be care-"
Suddenly, she remembered a wound like this...
James himself had a similar one like this one night. But for some reason it left no scar on him. It didn't make any sense.
"Nevermind. I guess I'm just being sentimental with James not around."
The stag looked up from the tray that was at her feet and gave her a questioning look. She rubbed it's head gently as she took a moment to look around, so that no one would see how foolish she was being.
Lily looked back down and she stared into the brilliant stag's eyes.
They were hazel. Green and gold specks swirled in both orbs like a vibrating snowglobe.
Why, they looked just like...
She was really losing it now. James Potter and a stag were two different things. And two different species of animals for beginners.
How fucking desperate could she be?
The scar was probably from some skirmish with dangerous wildlife inside the forest.
The eyes were just a coinicidence. People rarely paid attention to animal eyes. There were probably animals with Lilys eyes, too.
It being a stag was common, there were lots of deers in the forest.
But her patronus form changing into a...
Then again, even the fur on the stag's head was messy. Like James'...
Or was she imagining things? To make up for his absense? To see James in this silly forest dweller.
...Prongs?
In transfiguration classes last year, she had learned a spell that would reveal potential animagi. Wizards and witches who could turn into animals at will. She remembered the class had learned it by practicing on Professor McGonagall while she was in her cat, animagi form.
Hell, even James was exceptionally quiet during that week's lectures and practices. Didn't talk to her once that time. Nor even so far as to approach her. As if worried about something.
It was a crazy theory but then again gravity and theory of the Earth revolving around the sun were ludicrous ideaology in their eras.
Lily took out her wand from her robes...
The stag jumped up quickly and seemingly glared at her.
"I'm just going to summon you some water. Are you thirsty?" Lily lied.
Even animals could tell she was a liar.
If only she didn't whip out her wand so quickly...
The stag slowly began walking backwards towards the exit.
Lily slowly stood up and tried to remember the incantation.
But the stag was already running!
It had to be him...
As crazy as it sounded, it had to be.
Either that or Lily Evans, straight O student and Head Girl of Hogwarts had finally gone crazy.
She chased after it and the creatures four legs helped it gallop away from her. The distance between them was increasing and Lily was trying to make up for it by casting the spell on the run.
Though she hadn't fully mastered the spell, she launched a ray of blue directly into it's back.
It was a direct hit!
For a split second, a small circle surrounds the area where it hit the stag's running back side and she could have sworn it was a blue shirt James wore today....
If only her spell was stronger and had more power.
She shot her wand wildly. Lighting up the arena's dark hallway bright blue as it bounced off the wall.
With incredible luck, one ray had caught the animal by the leg and it had tripped over itself in a disastrous moment.
Slowly, before her eyes, the stag transformed into a human male. It wasn't from her weak spell though. He must have willingly surrendered.
Before her eyes, James Potter laid face down on the ground in mid stride. His hands and feet both were working vigorously in one swift running motion. But now he only laid down after his stumble.
"You still haven't mastered that spell. James said from the ground, not bothering to get up.
"No, but it was enough to get you though." Lily sat back down beside James, as if he was still a stag.
"You are flicking it wrong. It's more of a jab than a swish." James corrected.
Lily remembered now. James had tried to help her in that class. But he had said it was...
"But you said it was a swishing motion- You were trying to mess me up...?" Lily realized. Was he afraid that even back then that she might discover his secret ability.
He only groaned agreeingly into the floor.
He remained quiet for a while, he could have fallen asleep right there on the cold floor if she didn't know better.
"James. You're an animagus."
"Nope, just a stag." He joked, his voice bouncing upward from the ground and then the walls before crashing into Lily's ears.
"That's really dangerous and complex bit of magic."
"Yup. Though I wouldn't have bothered with learning it if I knew it wouldn't stop you from feeding me your fucking carrots." Said James dryly.
"Wait, so Black and Remus and Pettigrew are as well?" He wouldn't do it alone, his closest friends must have too, right?
James laughed heartily.
"Peter, an animagi? He cant even spell it. Sirius wouldn't even bother with the years it would take. And Remus would never approve." James laughed. James cooly lied to protect his friends. His secret was out, but that doesn't mean other people were in risk of being discovered as well. He continued laughing and Lily felt a little stupider.
"You're right." Lily agreed. Now she was just trying to make up lies and think up wild stories about him.
James rolled over to face Lily. He scooted closer to her.
Very close.
"Hey...Lily?"
Dangerously close.
Her breathing that was always second nature and automatic hitched up on her.
"Promise you won't tell?"
Her nervous system went into overdrive.
"I don't know, I got some blackmail on you now."
James smiled but somehow he knew she wouldn't make a peep.
"So what did you want me for?" He left it out there in the air casually.
She could feel his breath on her neck.
"To just talk."
He was still too close for comfort. She couldn't relax. She couldn't breathe.
"What do you want me to say?"
She could see adoration in his eyes when he looked at her. The feeling was still there. The feeling was mutual...
She was suffocating.
"Nothing."
She leaned in and covered the few inches that kept them apart and their lips touched. Her mind went haywire. Her cold lips caused him to sigh in surprise and she took advantage by running her tongue across his lower lip. Her hands became rogue and went to his hair. Something she had wanted to do for months during those classes. She subconsciously crawled onto him and backed him into the wall.
He felt cornered for once in his life but he didn't mind. He even welcomed it by pulling her onto him.
For the first minute he was caught off guard and didn't return her passion. Now he too was lust-riddenly hungry and kissed her greedily.
He was only messing with her. To gauge her reaction. To understand her reasoning. To see if she wanted him.
The old Lily would have killed him for being that close. But times change, seasons change and people eventually change.
Here he was to set her free...
She took full advantage. There would be no distractions. They had this area to themselves. This moment, for themselves...
Lily broke off for a moment and looked down upon him. She took the time out to catch her breath. He moaned in disappointment when she pulled away. His moan did nothing except turn her on more. He only capitolized on her position by allowing himself to her creamy flesh. Leaving trails down from the bottom of her ear to her neck and slowly made his trek to her shoulder but stopped abruptly, leaving her with a desperate lack of bliss.
He returned to her lips and tried to pull her closer than she already was.
Gravity didn't bring her down close enough...
They made sure to pick up where they left off in the locker room. To make up for the 6 years they could have been together. To make up for all the time and effort wasted. To make up for all past arguments in one kiss. To say sorry...
It's hard
to say she was sorry for the way she made him feel. But right now she
needed his arms around her to keep her real. It was soothing. It was
healing.
It was hard, almost impossible without him nearby.
His lips trembled and he panted into her mouth breathlessly but she didn't stop.
Can't stop. Won't stop...
She wrapped her arms around his neck and only relished in his taste.
Now she was completely hooked on this new drug.
Her ecstasy.
Lily wanted to engrave this memory into her mind. As if they touched enough, she would dream of this moment forever.
His hands roamed all over her. His cold hands snuck it's way under her damp shirt but set her skin ablazed.
He was perfect and she was glad he was hers and tried to convey it through her actions. She would never let him go and wanted the world to know.
"Lily?" He breathed into her lips.
"Yeah...?" She breathed, answering his question with a counter question.
"I- No, I can't do this. I'm sorry, I just-"
Lily paused for a split moment but returned to her gritty passion. She was driving him wild and they both were aware of that fact. Her breasts were grazing him and that forbidden feeling kept him there with her. Buying her those extra few minutes of his precious time. Her hips grinding his only sent his senses into overload. He couldn't breathe when she was on him and even forgot what he had said just a minute ago.
"Lily..." He moaned and she felt her heart implode and explode at the same. She never heard a man utter her name that huskily with so much passion and want in her life. And the fact that it was coming from the guy she most wanted to hear it from, made her lose all her lady-like decency.
He painfully broke off and looked at her sadly.
"You want to go back?" Lily wondered.
He didn't answer her but merely stood up. He leaned back against the wall and ran a hand through his hair.
She picked herself up as well and leaned into him.. Her head resting on his chest and she listened as his heartbeat slowly came down in rhythm and beats per minute. Her hands gripped his shirt desperately.
James face was buried in his hands and he seemed unsure.
Regretful even...
"This isn't right."
Lily had no idea what the hell he was talking about. Everything they done connected and bonded them so well. Lily looked down at how well they fit. Their bodies connected flawlessly. Like custom designed gloves made to order.
Without warning, he swam an arm over her and used it to pry her off him like a crowbar. She released him. She was prepared and knew he wasn't going to stay forever.
She could live with that. There would be a next time.
Right?
He was leaving.
It was like a silent agreement they had settled on. They could never be together. She wanted it. He wouldn't have it. She hated it. She didn't care about his doubts.
She ran towards him. She wrapped both of her arms around his torso trying to anchor him and he stopped instantly. Her face was almost buried into his back.
James sighed and looked up in the sky. It was an odd place for them to stand. He was barely out of the exit. The rain hit him hard like falling rocks. Half of him was drenched. The other half of him, his backside was still dry as the ceiling still covered him. So Lily was perfectly dry except her outreaching arms whereas he was mostly soaked.
Why couldn't she have had stopped him earlier?
"We can make it work."
"No, you don't understand." James denied.
"I don't care what happens to me." Lily said meaning ever word. She just wanted him...
Lily thought James and Dumbledore were probably overreacting from this whole dark wizard Voldemort situation. The Ministry didn't make an annoucement yet, the papers didn't report anything, and murders or mysterious disappearances had not happened.
Unless it was being covered up by the government to suppress public fears...
"You still want me, James. You still have feelings for me. You can't kiss me like that and not mean it."
He didn't move. He didn't say a word.
But when he made to start walking again, Lily rocked him. As soon as she felt a tug at her arms, she grabbed him by the arm and shoulders and threw him with tremendous force back into the wall.
"If you don't want me anymore, then just say it!" Lily roared with all her fiery redhead temper.
She had spent too much time chasing him. It was sickening to her now. He owed her an answer!
"I'm over you, Lily." He stated smoothly without stuttering as he looked over the top of her head after he got over just how hard she slammed him into the hallway.
Lily's heart plummetted to the bottom of her stomach.
She really didn't expect him to say that...
That was it then? All her efforts were in vain? She finally hit her bottom. Why was she still bothering to breathe? She might as well stop living all together now. There was no point in life.
"Look me in the eyes. And...say it..." She didn't sound very determined, even to herself. Her voice was flat and low, all the courage she had had abandoned her...
If this was all he had to do to get away, no problem...
Easy...
"I don't li-" James began in earnest.
Or so he thought.
She looked up at him with pleading eyes. Hoping for him to take it all back. To take her back. For them to start all over with a fresh slate.
The bold, strong, independent woman that was filling Lily Evans shoes 24/7 went AWOL.
Her emerald eyes were full of tears waiting to break loose at his words. She didn't know what to do with her life if he walked away this time. He couldn't do it. Why did he have to listen to her silly request. Her hands were balled up on her chest, clutching her missing heart as she prayed for both of them. The quickest way to a man's heart may be through his stomach. But a woman in tears was better. She looked so miserable.
Dreams crushed. Hope destroyed. Efforts worthless. Time wasted. Friendship betrayed. So many emotions were taking over her.
Lily's tears stopped him...
He wiped a tear from her eyes before pulling her into him closely, as he tried to figure out what his next move should be.
She'll never be the same...
sat there and fully watched Twilight with the girl I'm trying to get at
Lost my man license...
Didnt like it though, too predictable and cliché. Was rooting for the bad guys like always.
