Chapter 30: Baby, I'm Yours
Disclaimer: Meh- I still don't own it but it sure owns me! Thanks to Stephenie Meyers whose dream became our dream and for giving us a romantic pairing who will rightfully take their place in literary history.
Big thanks to coleen561 who is the best beta in the fandom. I couldn't have done it without you, girl!
Epilogue Part Two
Baby, I'm yours
I am lying in the bed that is in Edward's old room. It is the same bed that Jasper gave us last year as a form of apology for nearly attacking me on my eighteenth birthday. This bed, while not old in years, is still rich with history - our history. It is the bed in which Edward and I first made love and talked about our future together. So many memories in such a short period of time…
I remember thinking then that my life had finally begun, and in many ways it had. When Edward and I discussed a birth plan in the months that followed our return to Forks, it seemed that it was only fitting that our child would be born in this bed, here in his old room. But we didn't expect that this bed would also become my funeral bier, although we certainly knew in our hearts that it was a very real possibility that I might die during the birth process.
Edward was especially fearful that I would not survive the birth of our daughter. As the months passed, his fears increased. Although he tried to keep them from me, I knew, as only a wife knows, that my husband was deeply troubled. One night he finally broke down and shared his fears with me. I can still remember the tremors from his body as I held him in my arms and tried to calm him. I can't lie and say that I wasn't as scared as he was, but as is often the case with Edward and me, when he flies off the handle, I remain calm, and vice versa. It seems to be an instinctual thing for which I am grateful. But I was scared. In all honesty I was, to quote Emmett, "scared shitless." I didn't want to die, not when I had everything to live for. I was young, madly in love, and about to become a mother.
A mother! Who knew that this would ever be possible? I certainly didn't, and neither did Edward. Even though it was quite a shock to discover I was pregnant, it was not unwelcome; we were both thrilled. In fact, the entire Cullen clan and even Charlie were beyond excited at the thought of having a baby in their lives. Vampires by nature are solitary and often selfish creatures, and although the Cullens did not typify the vampire lifestyle, they had never had to care or nurture any living thing before. Therefore my pregnancy, though not planned and certainly not without grave dangers, was the most exciting thing to happen to any of them in their vampire existence.
For my part, I had always wanted to be a mother. However, I had put that desire in the deepest recesses of my mind, because I never in a million years thought it would be possible.
But it was.
Alice had a vision that included seeing the name Charlotte engraved on the sliver baby cup so we knew we were going to have a girl. As soon as I recovered from the shock from finding out I was indeed pregnant, I became very excited; a little girl would be so much fun! But there was another reason too. I knew in the back of my mind that should I die while bringing her into the world, a daughter would be a special comfort for her father.
And someone needed to be there for my Edward - I couldn't bear to think of him being left alone again. My poor, sweet Edward had been alone for nearly a century. Considering that his sister's death had left a void in his heart that no one could ever completely fill, it seemed only natural that our daughter would carry her name. I admit I liked to tease him about other names and get his feathers ruffled (okay I loved getting him all fired up!) but simply put: there was no other choice in my mind but Charlotte. Edward was so excited when I told him this; I honestly think he would have cried a little if that were possible.
Anyway, I have lain on this bed for the last three days listening to snatches and fragments of conversations. I haven't been able to move…first from the effects of the morphine and later from the painful fire that swept through my veins and extinguished my humanity. I started to feel the shift in my transformation process earlier this morning. The flames no longer pierced through my being, and I began to feel some movement.
"Bella, please…I need you …please…please…come back to me, baby. Please, oh please…" I can hear my husband's agonized pleas, and I struggle to respond.
"Edward," I manage to murmur. My throat feels like it is on fire and then I remember that it will feel like this for the rest of eternity. A realization dawns that I'm okay with this. I feel a small smile begin to tug at the corners of my mouth. The weight on my chest suddenly lifts, and I open my eyes and hear an audible gasp.
"Bella!" my husband cries, "Oh Bella…you've come back to me!"
I laugh inwardly; Edward is being dramatic as usual! I wiggle my toes and then my legs. Oddly enough, with the exception of my throat, I still feel like me. But there is also an incredible range of emotions and longings that fill my being from head to toe. I want to jump, I want to run, I want to dance, I want to shout. I want to throw my head back and well...I just want to do everything!
But most of all I want to …play? A strong sense of mischief comes over me as I formulate a plan within vampire seconds. I have no idea why I am doing this. None at all. But…I cannot seem to stop myself from teasing him.
"Edward…Oh, Edward…" I pretend to gasp. My voice sounds even weirder than I intend; who removed my vocal chords and replaced them with bells? Huh. I can't ponder over this new development if I want to fuck with Edward, so I close my mind off to this thought momentarily. Closing my mind is easier said than done. A thousand smells, sights, sounds, and feelings assault my senses making me gasp for real this time. When I open my eyes, I'm clear on the other side of the room with my back pressed tightly against the wall.
Craaack!
I look up at the ceiling and a piece of plaster plops on top of my head with a thud.
"Ow," I deadpan as I brush the mess off my head. A piece flies off and sails clear across the room and smacks Edward in the nose. He pinches it.
I burst into raucous laughter. The church bells peal out of my throat like the Hunchback of Notre Dame is getting the masses ready for first service.
Edward is beside me in a flash.
Grasping my hand in his he holds it next to his heart (which isn't pumping but his chest is going through the motions same as always. I lay my own hand flat against his chest to try and still it.
"Bella, are you alright, love?"
Okay, for some reason this makes me laugh harder! I need to get it together if I'm going to pull this off. I make an effort to compose myself and look him in the eyes and say, "Uh, no. No I'm not alright, Edward. I had a baby and died before I was able to deliver, so I'm thinking I am most decidedly not alright. But, hey - I get eternal life with a hot sexy vamp by my side so I'm thinking I got a fair trade. What are your thoughts? Now, where's my baby?" I smirk lazily. At least I hope its lazy looking - it's hard to tell, what with me being a vamp and all.
"Holy shit - I'm a vamp! Vamp-woman. Mama-Vamp. Do I want to be called Mama? How about Mum? Wasn't your mother, Mum? What do you think of Ma? Personally I never liked it - it sounds like a goat. But I dunno - now it sounds kinda cute. Maaaaa!" I bray loudly.
"So, what da ya think?" I say with a wink.
Okay - can I just say the look on his face is priceless, cuz it totally is.
"Ahhh….Sweetheart, are you alright? You're not acting like a typical newborn. Jasper!" he bellows at the door. "I need y-"
"Oh, slow your roll, Jasper," I holler at the door just as it is about to be torn off its hinges by my frantic brother-in-law. I concentrate on the door for a moment and imagine a steel barrier that no one can move.
"What the…" I hear Jasper exclaim on the other side.
This really cracks me up and I almost drop the shield trying to get myself together. I can't even begin to explain how good I feel right now - sort of like an effervescent bubble of pure happiness is coursing through my dead veins. I take another look at the door and the shield secures itself back into position.
"Fuck!"
I smile when I hear Jasper's expletive and my smile morphs into a grin when I hear Alice in the hall telling Jasper to get his ass away from the door and that, "Bella is going to be just fine." There is laughter in her voice, and I know that she knows what I'm up to.
Eh - I am going to love my shield. I'm so happy that Zaffrina and I had a chance to practice using it before I calved and became Vamp-Mama.
"Bella?"
"Yes, Edward?"
"What are you doing?"
"I'm going back to bed," I say with a yawn, as I stroll over to the bed and sit down with a thump.
THUD!
Aaaaaand the bed just collapsed on the floor. Huh. In all my previous fantasies the bed crashing to the floor involved Edward being on top of me, and not hovering over me with a look of utter amazement.
Ooops, my bad. I don't know my own strength. Oh well, I guess Jasper will either have to fix it or replace it. I lie back on the ruined bed, fling my arm dramatically over my forehead and close my eyes.
"Bella! Love…are you hurt? Bella?" Edward leans over me anxiously. His eyes are shiny and black, so I know he hasn't fed in days. For some reason this sobers my mirth, and the game I was playing seems ridiculous to me now. What was I thinking? My poor husband has been frantically trying to keep everything and everyone together in this house. I don't even know the details yet; I can barely remember the birth. I touch his face with one hand, and he presses his cheek into my palm. I caress it as gently as I can.
"Gotcha," I whisper to him. I try to smile but I can't; the happiness I felt upon waking has been replaced with a feeling of sadness. Oh Lord, I hope I'm not going to be a moody post-partum Mommy for the rest of my eternity. That would really suck.
"Were you…were you playing with me?" Edward stutters in a bewildered voice.
"Mm-hmm, I was."
"And you're not playing anymore?" he asks uncertainly.
"No," I whisper softly.
"Good," he whispers back as he leans down and presses his mouth against mine. The shock of feeling his warm soft lips overwhelms me, and I gasp loudly. Edward swallows my gasps as he deepens the kiss and re-introduces me to his tongue. Oh my god - his taste! If I thought he tasted good when I was a human I guess I didn't know what taste was. His tongue softly strokes mine, and I am completely lost as a wave of pure lust sweeps over my body. I grab him hard, flip him on his back, and straddle him with my new vamp thighs. I flex my muscles hard, and he winces and says, "Ow!"
Oopsie.
"I'm sorry," I whisper against his lips. "Are you okay?" From the hard outline of his erection against my thigh I assume this is a rhetorical question, which for some reason makes me giggle. What the hell is wrong with me anyway? It's like I'm drunk or something. And speaking of drinks…I could sure use one. Like a bloody Mary.
"I'm dying of thirst; I need a drink," I announce to his kiss. "And I want to see my baby. And I want to make love to you."
"In that particular order?" he asks with a smirk.
My head is so confused! Do I want to do these things in this particular order?
"I-I don't know," I stutter uncertainly. God, I'm so confused! And why the hell am I stuttering? I thought vampires weren't supposed to stutter. Leave it to me to carry my awkwardness into my eternal existence.
As if to answer my uncertainty, Edward puts his hands gently on either side of my face and presses his forehead against mine.
"Bella, of course you're confused and uncertain, love. And I promise you, stuttering on occasion is perfectly normal - even for a vampire. You - you're doing wonderfully well, sweetheart. And - and you're fucking beautiful!" he blurts out in his own adorable stammer. Wait, what? He did hear me? He must have read my mind!
"Did you just read my mind?" I gasp in surprise.
"Well, yes - but I only caught a glimpse of it for a second or two. I think your shield must have slipped…"
I look at him, and a smile spreads slowly across my face.
"I didn't feel a thing. I guess my subconscious must have let you in."
"Do you mind? I mean - I know you've always been very guarded of your private thoughts…" he asks hesitantly. He's right in that I do like to keep my inner most thoughts to myself, but not with him.
"No baby, I don't mind right now," (but FYI… I reserve the right to mind later!) "In fact, let me show you a little of my mind," I say suggestively as I slowly grind my hips against his. I feel desire spread through my body, and a craving that I have never truly experienced before courses through me. Unghhhh!
"Please…oh, please," he whispers longingly. Even though Edward has read a few of my thoughts since that day long ago when Laurent came to visit and I felt my so-called shield slip for the first time, it hasn't happened very often. So I put my own needs on the back burner and press my forehead a little harder next to his. Then I place my hands on his face and mirror his position. He sits up, and I remain straddling him. We stare deeply into each other eyes as I allow the shield to slowly lift and reveal my first thought. It's not of the first time I saw him, nor is it the first time we spoke to each other. Although those days were significant and special to me, I am recalling another moment - a moment from our weekend that we spent here, in his house, in his room, in this bed. It's not from the first time we made love, but in the moments that followed it - before I freaked out and ran to the bathroom crying because I felt guilty that I'd seduced him in order to get him to stay. I'd felt so complete in that moment…so safe…so in love with him. I hear him groan as my memory fills his mind with pictures and feelings from that moment in time. Then I feel my shield snap back into place when his hands leave my face, and I'm flipped over and he covers my body and lips with his. Desire and longing to be re-connected with him fills my being, and I rock my hips once again into his. Ohhh….
"Waaaaah!"
What the….? Oh, my God - Charlotte! What the hell am I doing? I had a baby a few days ago…what is wrong with me? What kind of a mother am I? I shouldn't be laying here with my sexy as sin husband panting and writhing beneath him like some kind of pole cat - I should be in the nursery with my child - soothing her, seeing her, touching her, loving her, and getting to know her. Angry and confused, I bolt from the bed and practically fly to the door. I need to get to her now!
"Bella, wait!" in a flash, Edward is beside me. He grabs me by my shoulders and turns me around quickly. I shake him off, and he drops to the floor with a thud. I stop in my tracks and look down at him frowning. Did I hurt him? Oh, God…I don't know how to drive this thing! I can't believe I knocked him to the ground like he was some kind of a pesky bug. If I can do that to my husband…my Edward…oh God, imagine what I might do to Charlotte. My throat feels tight and my eyes burn. But of course, even though this feels like crying, no tears leak out. It's a horrible feeling - worse than sexual tension. I feel my face begin to crumple and fall to my knees. A weird sound that began in my chest issues from my throat, and I realize it's somewhere between a whimper and a sob. I cover my face with my hands and more of these sounds pour out of me. My throat, which had felt only mildly irritated when I first woke up, now feels like it is engulfed in flames. A pair of strong arms lifts me, and I find myself in Edward's lap with my face buried next to his chest. "Shhh…" he soothes as he rocks me gently. "You're going to be alright, sweetheart…I promise."
I hear a soft knock at the door and then a gentle touch on my shoulder. I lift my head from Edward's warm embrace and see Carlisle's concerned face gazing down at me. He has a large plastic cup in his hands. I look at it and chuckle - it's a big gulp cup from Seven eleven.
"I'm assuming this isn't a cherry Slurpee," I sort of sniffle-giggle.
"Hello, Bella," Carlisle says in his quiet voice. "No, it isn't a Slurpee. But I do think it's something you'll enjoy even better and more importantly, it's something that you need." He hands me the cup, and I put my lips on the straw and suck on it greedily. Oh, God…it tastes sooo good! I drain it within seconds, and he hands me a second one quickly. I look at him in surprise, and he shifts his eyes to the door where I spy a familiar looking blue cooler. Its Charlie's fishing cooler! My dad must be here.
I stop sucking on the straw long enough to ask if my father is in the house, and Carlisle nods his head and smiles. I feel Edward's hand stroke my hair soothingly as he leans his face closer to my ear and whispers, "Are you feeling better now, love?" I nod my head as I return to my drink; the flames in my throat are now extinguished but there is still a dull ache. I suppose it will always feel that way now. But inwardly I feel so much better - calm and at peace. My head feels clearer and the myriad of wants and desires, though still present, are now under control.
"I want to see my baby," I say firmly.
Edward looks at Carlisle expectantly, and he waits for the patriarch of the family to address my demand. Carlisle looks me over with his soft, yet knowing eyes and asks me how I feel.
"Better!" I blurt out. "I mean - I'm not thirsty anymore and my head doesn't feel quite as strange," I try to explain.
"Alright then, yes, I do think you should see Charlotte - I know for a fact that she wants to see you! But first I'd like to see your reaction to her scent before we bring her in. That is, if you're agreeable?" I glance at Edward, and he nods his head encouragingly. Turning my face to Carlisle I reach out my hand as he offers me a petal pink blanket and a matching tiny cap. I bury my nose in both and inhale deeply. Oh, God - what a smell! It smells of fresh air, sunshine, Johnson's baby shampoo, and powder. It's the most heavenly smell I have ever smelled in my life!
"This is wonderful!" I gasp.
"How's your throat, Bella? Does it burn…are you thirsty for this smell?" Carlisle asks pointedly.
I mull his question over for a moment and grin. My throat doesn't burn at all - if anything this scent seems to sooth even the dullest ache at the very back of my throat. I feel great! I shake my head no and say, "Nope - my throat doesn't burn or even ache anymore…it feels…good."
Carlisle smiles broadly, and he takes the blanket and cap from me and removes another item from his pocket; a blue sock. He attempts to hand it to me, but Edward grabs it from his hands and sets it behind him.
"Umm, I think that's enough for now, Dad." Carlisle looks at him with a raised brow and Edward mimics him by raising his own. A look of understanding crosses over Carlisle's face, but rather than question it, I get up and walk over to the door. I want to see my baby, and I want to see her now! I go to open the door, but it opens before reach it. Jasper's face greets me with a smile.
"Hi, Mama," he drawls. I love his accent - he is so adorably Southern in both his words and his deeds.
"Hi, Jasper," I grin back albeit somewhat sheepishly. I feel bad for shielding him earlier. I know all he meant to do was to protect Charlotte and the rest of the family in case my newborn behavior turned aggressive. "I'm sorry I slammed the door, er, shield in your face earlier. I don't really know why I did that…" I drift off. His face is full of compassion. He walks over to me carefully and lifts my downcast face with his gentle fingers.
So, I guess we're even, Darlin?" I look at him puzzled, and he chuckles quietly.
"I'm referring to the time I nearly attacked you Bella. Surely you must remember that night?"
Edward growls at him from behind me, saying, "Jasper - now is not the time to bring up unpleasant memories from Bella's past. Surely you of all people would realize how utterly foolish it is to provoke her when she has only just woke up from her transformation."
A look passes between the two brothers, and I hear Edward mutter, "Oh," to himself. He goes over to the bed and picks up the mattress and the frame in one hand, looks it over and sets it back down. The he walks over to his closet and retrieves his tool box, "I'm just going to fix this while you two have a chance to get reacquainted. Okay?" I giggle when I see him bend over and notice his ass crack hanging out just a bit; my husband has the longest torso; it's just so hard to find jeans that fit him properly.
I shake my head at the image and turn my focus to Jasper and tell him, "Yes, I remember that night, Jazz. It was last year on my 18th birthday. I-I had a paper cut and you went, umm, a little wild. But you were very apologetic afterwards and in all honesty, the thing I remember most of all is that if that hadn't happened none of this," I say dramatically waving a hand between Edward and myself, "would have happened. None of it. So really, I guess I have you to thank for this." I walk over to him, wrap my arms around his neck, and as softly as I can manage, give him a gentle hug. (At least I hope it's gentle.) He squeezes me in return, and we both look at each other and laugh as we say, "Thank you."
Carlisle comes over to us and asks me if all my human memories are intact or fuzzy. I tell him that I have near perfect recall so far and puzzle aloud as to why that might be and if they'll fade in time.
"I don't think so, Bella. You're acting quite different than the rest of us did during our first hour as a vampire. You're quite calm and composed for a newborn… and of course your eyes…" he tapers off.
My eyes? What the hell is wrong with my eyes? Oh…that's right, they'll be a vicious red now just like they warned me. Edward stops fixing the bed, walks over to me, and takes my hand in his as he leads us to his dresser.
"Look, Bella," he says incredulously. "See? They're not red, love, they're deep butterscotch. Just see for yourself!"
I peer into the mirror carefully and gasp when I see he is right; they are butterscotch. Cool!
"Animal blood diet," Carlisle says in satisfaction. "I had a feeling based on the way your body thrived during your gestation that this might be the case. I believe your nutrition has everything to do with your physical adjustment to your transformation. As for the emotional adjustment…well, I like to think we all played a small role in preparing you well in advance for your new lifestyle. Edward most of all, of course…" he says modestly.
"I think Bella is ready to see Charlotte," declares Jasper in an authoritative voice. "She passed my test with flying colors," he announces in a smug voice.
"You mean you tried to provoke me when you asked me if I remembered the night you nearly attacked me?"
"Yes," he says simply. "And you not only remembered it with accuracy, you forgave me and remained calm. So…shall I call for Esme to bring her in?"
Before I even have a chance to nod or utter a word Edward is at the door greeting Esme who is carrying my baby girl in her arms. She looks so happy and satisfied; her face is positively glowing. Grandmotherhood suits her, I think to myself happily.
Edward reaches for Charlotte, and Esme places her in his arms. "Here you go, Daddy. Be careful with her head, now," she warns playfully. Edward laughs at her silliness; obviously Charlotte is made of sturdier stuff, so her head probably doesn't require quite the same amount of support as a typical human baby's head would need.
"Yes, Nana…" he says back to her in a smart-alecky manner. But I watch him as he carefully settles her next to his shoulder and pats her back, "Are you ready to see your Mummy now?" he coos.
Well, I guess that answers my question about what she'll be calling me. Mummy…how very British of him. I grin when I recall him referring to his birth mother as Mum and that she was from Scotland. His father was English, so I guess it makes sense. Mummy…I like it!
He walks over to me and says, "Bella, why don't you sit over there by the window? Charlie brought your Grandmother Swan's rocker over last night." I look at the chair, then the baby, and nod my head slowly. I try to appear casual as I walk over to the chair and settle back into it carefully. The last thing I want to do is break this particular chair - it has so many wonderful memories attached to it, I think to myself, as I recall the many nights Edward rocked me in it while we planned our future together. I love this chair! But my dead heart is practically beating out of my chest when he stands before me. Charlotte turns her neck from the crook of his arms, and I see her face for the first time. Oh my God - she is beautiful! Her eyes are wide and chocolate brown - so deep and full of life!
"Here we are, Mummy…look… Charlotte, this is your mother - see how beautiful she is? I have the two prettiest girls in the whole wide world…how did I get so lucky?" he croons as he places her in my arms. I settle her in my arms so I can get a good look at her face.
And what a face it is! If God had sent me an angel instead of a baby I wouldn't be at all surprised. Her nose is as small as a button and her skin is as soft as a rose with cheeks that echo the beauty of this flower - they're pink and full of health. Her mouth is a perfect little rosebud too and when I trace one finger softly over it she smiles and closes her eyes. I feel a little nudge in my mind and Edward whispers, "That's her, Bella...that's her trying to get into your mind. She wants to show you, love. It's her gift you see…Charlotte, show Mummy how much you love her. Let her in, please, Bella?" I relax with the sound of his voice and gasp when my head is filled with our daughter's memories of me.
In my mind's eye I watch as Charlotte reveals to me her entry into the world and gasp aloud when I realize how easy her birth had been. A warm feeling encompasses me as she lets me feel her love and utter devotion towards Edward and me. I watch the scene unfold as she remembers her father frantically calling for me, and I gape when I see Rosalie's face fill my mind as she yells at Edward to stop before he injects me with his venom. I watch in fascination as my image on the bed begins to get smaller. I realize that Charlotte is now being held up against Rosalie's chest and she is looking at me over Rosalie's shoulder. Suddenly, my vision is filled once again with Rosalie's face and I can feel myself rocking from side to side as something soft caresses my skin. A blanket! She's remembering Rosalie wrapping her in a blanket. Just then, Charlotte looks back towards me and watches from between the slats of the bassinette.
I see my bloody and broken body. I see my own face struggling for life and I allso see Edward's creased with worry. I hear Rose call out to Edward to "stand up at my head because there's another…"
""Waaaaah!"
A piercing cry echoes from outside the hall, and my head turns sharply and the shield slams back into place.
"Waaaaah!"
I look at Edward in confusion. "What the heck is that? It sounds like a baby is crying in the other room. But wait - MY baby is here in my arms! Is - is she some kind of a ventriloquist?"
Edward laughs, "No, Bella, that's not Charlotte, I promise she isn't playing tricks on you!"
I sigh in relief, thankful that she isn't able to throw her voice like that because those puppet things are creepy.
"Umm," Edward grins crookedly as he kneels before me. "Bella, that's what Charlotte was trying to show you, love…you see, we, we had another baby; that's why I had to change you, love. He was too big, and your placenta abrupted. God, it was horrible! So much blood…I thought I was going to lose you, Bella! But, Rose…Rosalie saved your life, sweetheart. She managed to bite through your uterus and removed him before you both died," he jabbers.
ANOTHER baby? Rosalie BIT the uterus to remove him? HIM?
"We - we have a boy, too?" I stammer in complete amazement.
"Yes," he says with a twinkle in his eyes. "We do. We have a son, Bella. And he would love to see his Mummy too; that is if he ever stays awake long enough to open his eyes," he chuckles.
"H-how?"I stutter in astonishment.
"Well, apparently you released two eggs while we were on our honeymoon and I, being a superior vampire with super sperm, managed to successfully crack not one, but two of them when we made love," he explains to me seriously. Then he winks.
"Braggart," I hear Emmett guffaw. I look up to see his dimpled face at the door grinning from Mouse ear to mouse ear. Where the hell did he dig that up anyway? I laugh out loud at him because he looks so damn ridiculous, and then stop when I see a blue bundle nestled against his barrel chest. "Shhh…" he murmurs to the tiny bundle in his arms.
This is real? I had... twins? Charlotte wiggles in my arms, and I watch her face break into a full toothless smile. I feel her nudging lightly at my shield and lift it momentarily so I can take a look at her thoughts. The scene she showed me moments ago fills my mind and I watch in awe as Rosalie does indeed manage to extract another baby from my womb. My own thoughts and feelings flood through my mind when I realize that my sister-in-law had indeed saved not only my life, but that of my son. A warm feeling of gratitude fills my heart, and in this moment I acknowledge that I will never be able to thank Rose enough for the part she played in our lives. As Edward says, vampires seldom experience change, but when they do they are altered forever. This is the case for me; Rosalie Hale Cullen is now my personal hero and my feelings for her will always be full of admiration and respect.
I watch the scene continue in my mind as Rose washes and diapers my son and places him in his father's arms. I strain to catch a glimpse of him and realize with a start that there is no need for me to watch the movie images in my head when I have the real baby a mere foot away!
"Bring him to me!" I bellow. Emmett chuckles as he walks over to me rapidly, "Yes, Ma'am…or should I say, 'Mummy'?" he over-enunciates in a fake British accent and gives me a wink.
"That's enough, Emmett," Esme chastises. She and Carlisle are standing by the dresser watching us with smiles. Their arms are wrapped around each other and they beam with pride. "Mummy is an appropriate endearment for Edward and Bella's children to refer to their mother. Edward's parents were British after all."
"Aw, I'm only joshing," he tells her in an accent that sounds like he just hopped over from the motherland to say pip-pip. But despite his teasing tone, I watch his face grow tender as Edward removes Charlotte from my lap and Emmett places the blue bundle carefully in my open arms.
"Waaaaah!" he cries out. I look up at Edward who turns suddenly to the door and says, "You can come in now Rose." The door opens and Rosalie walks swiftly inside and towards us and hands Edward a bottle. He takes the bottle and sits on the floor with Charlotte still against his against his chest as he supports her with one hand and stretches out his long legs in front of him. With his other hand he pops the bottle into Charlotte's mouth and she begins to suck on it eagerly.
"Here, Bella…I made one for him too. I look up and see her eyes and a look of devotion passes through us both at the same time. My heart is so full right now at the image before me - my sister-in law, my hero…
"Rose, I-I can never begin to thank you enough," I say trying to find the words. But it's too much - I feel too overwhelmed."
"Bella, is it too much? Do you want me to take him?" Jasper asks as he appears by my side in a blur.
"Nah…she's okay, Jazz. Just let her have a minute to see her son for the first time." She turns to me and says," It's okay, Bella, I know you want to talk to me, and I have a lot to say to you too, but right now enjoy your baby boy. Get to know him a little. You and I have a lifetime to talk - hundreds of them!" she jokes.
I look down at the baby cradled in my arms and run my finger softly over his nose. His tiny hand flies up to bat it away and then I watch in amazement as he appears to pinch his sweet little button of a nose. He is his father's son alright!
"Look at his hair, Mummy," Rose says. "You'll be able to see him coming and going without too much strain on the old eyes." She gently removes the cap from his head and a riot of coppery red curls tumble out. He has hat hair and it's sticking up every which way. I laugh as I say, "He looks like a little rooster!"
"He looks exactly like his old man," Rose says in a dry voice.
"Yep, a chip off the old block!" calls out Emmett.
A small wrinkle appears between his eyes as he wrinkles his nose and pinches it again. I laugh with glee - it's like looking at a miniature Edward!
Rose chuckles as she hands me the bottle, and I guide it into his mouth and watch in fascination as he drinks it greedily.
"And five, four, three, two, one! Here ya go, Mr. Piggly Wiggly," Rosalie quips as she removes the drained bottle from his mouth and quickly replaces it with a fresh one. He takes this bottle just as covetously as the first, although he tapers off just before he sucks it dry. The nipple releases from his mouth and he lets out an enormous burp. He then sighs contentedly as his mouth forms a little smirk and he buries his face between my breasts. Yep, he really is his father's son, I say to myself when he presses his face deeper into my chest and snuggles in with a tiny whimper. Edward looks up at me just then and smiles at me crookedly. I look at Charlotte all nestled snug as a bug in her daddy's arms and then back at the little man nestled in mine, and I melt! I'm consumed with love and happiness even as I battle back the millions of other emotions that are swimming deep from within. But the love…the utter joy that fills me to the brim - yeah, that's almost overwhelming!
"What should we call him, Bella?" Edward asks suddenly. I look at him in confusion and then my head clears; of course he doesn't have a name yet!
"I-I don't know…we never picked out a boy's name, did we?"
Edward shakes his head and say's "No, we didn't. And I refused to select a name without you. Sooo…that said, our son does need a name. Do you want to name him after your father?"
"Er, no. I mean I like Charlie as a name, but I can't imagine having a son with that name. I'll keep looking for a mustache and a police cruiser," I joked. "Besides, Charlotte is a variation of Charles anyway. What about naming him after you? I like Edward Anthony," I say with a little wink.
"Hmm…no, I don't really want to name him solely after me, love. Although I do have a decided preference for family names if that's agreeable to you," he says in his Edwardian fashion.
I laugh a little at his old fashioned speech and ask if he likes the name Masen, since it's his birth family's last name.
"No, it's too trendy. I read in Parents magazine that Masen is the number two name in the country these days, lord knows why. No one I knew even had that as a surname - at least not spelled with an E. Where do mothers come up with these names, I wonder?"
"I don't know Edward; they probably got it from a book or a movie, who knows? I've been a little out of touch with pop culture lately," I explain. "Well, what about-"
"Hey guys, why don't we give them a minute or two to discuss this privately?" I look up and grin widely at the little pixie who is now standing at the door.
"Hey, Alice," I call out to her.
"Hi, Bella! I see Edward didn't listen to me, just as I suspected. What the hell do you have on anyway? Are those sweatpants?" she snarls at Edward. He shrugs his shoulders noncommittally. She shakes her head in mock aggravation and says, "You could at least have put her in yoga pants for heaven's sakes. Sweat Pants. And they look like they're your old pair from gym class too"," she huffs in disgust.
"Okay, this is worse than I thought. Esme and Rose - you two come with me. I want to take some family portraits and I'm not going to have the new mother wearing her husband's ratty old sweats from 1977. Come help me pick something out. And you boys go see if Charlie is awake and tell him to get ready. I know he's dying to see his daughter. Oh, and Jazz - don't get all worked up over Bella flipping out and draining him when she sees him for the first time, okay? I had a strong vision about an hour ago, and Charlie and Bella are going to be fine, so no more experiments; is that understood?"
"Yes Ma'am," Jasper shouts as he salutes his wife. They both burst into laughter and the rest of the family leaves the room as Alice commands. Edward gets up and goes over to the cradle that is next to his bed and puts Charlotte inside. From its depths I can hear the sweet sounds of her snores as she settles in for a nap. "Sweet dreams, Gertie," he whispers to her before he turns back to me and our son.
"Gertie?" I ask with a frown. "Who came up with that?"
"Blame it on Uncle Emmett, and not me, Bella. He swears that she batted her eyes at him when she opened them for the first time and he's called her Flirty Gertie ever since. I'm sorry, love, it is a rather sweet endearment, but I'll make him stop if you wish."
Pfft! From the way he delivers this speech I already know that Gertie is a done deal. Ah well, it's just a nickname. It could be worse I suppose. We might have actually named her Renesmee and Emmett could have come up with something really ridiculous…like, Nessie, for example. Ugh!
"Okay, as long as it doesn't become a constant thing. Charlotte is too beautiful a name for it to go to waste."
"Yes, it is," Edward agrees with a smile. "Bella, bring him over here and let's sit back on the bed and discuss our son's name together. I fixed the bed, see?" he says as he gives the bed a few good bounces. I chuckle to myself thinking how he still manages to look and act like a seventeen year old boy regardless of the fact that he is now a husband and a father.
I get up with our son in my arms and walk gracefully over to our bed and sit down next to Edward, who quickly gathers us both into his arms and settles us all in the center of our old bed. He leans over the side and scoops up ole flirty Gertie and cradles her against his chest and then turns to me with a smirk. "Well, love, this is it. This is our little family. Did you ever in a million years think we would wind up with a son and a daughter in the middle of the bed that my brother, who almost attacked you, gave us as an apology?" I laugh at his prattle.
Edward leans over the lot of us and gives me a soft kiss. "This is nice…" he says to me.
"It is," I say in agreement. I look at my husband who is all curled up next to me with our sleeping babies between us and I run my foot over his. He feels so good. And feels so… different? My new senses are immediately reminded of how different he feels to me now. He no longer looks or feels like the vampire I fell in love with - no, he looks and feels exactly like a man. My man!
"We're the same temperature now," he says as he runs his foot a bit more playfully against mine. It tickles, and I let out a little laugh. Our son wrinkles his nose and the crease in his forehead returns.
"He looks just like you when he does that!" we both cry out at the same time.
This makes us both dissolve into laughter, and our startled son opens his eyes and looks at us both. We gasp when he looks at us and we watch in wonder as he curves his lips into a crooked smile. Charlotte wakes up and looks at the three of us, and I swear I hear her soft laugh for the first time.
Our son blinks his eyes at me and without thinking I call out, "Teddy!" for his eyes are the same shade of springtime green as the ones that flashed briefly at me on that long ago day last fall after Edward cried in my arms when he told me about his sister. I am reminded that I thought I saw them again on our first night on Isle Esme after Edward and I had made love. Something tells me that's when he was conceived.
"Oh Edward, he looks exactly like you did when you were human," I cry. "He is the spitting image of you!"
"Yes, he certainly does seem to favor my side of the family in looks, but his mind is just like that of his mother's; it's completely silent to me," he says with a chuckle. Edward takes our son's tiny hand in his, and I notice that their fingers are exactly the same too; long and elegant. I wonder if our home will be blessed with two piano players in the future.
"Well, welcome to the world Teddy," says his father softly. "It's nice to finally meet you - eye to eye that is!" Teddy smiles at him sleepily then turns his head and settles it once more against my chest with a sigh and a whimper.
"So, it's decided then," I declare. "Teddy it is! Shall we call the rest of the family in to tell them?"
"No…why don't we wait a bit. I'm sure Alice already knows anyway. Besides, I really don't like nicknames for first names. I wouldn't mind calling him Teddy but I would prefer it if his given name was a bit more, erm, dignified. That is, if you wouldn't mind, love."
"No, I don't mind at all. I wanted to call him Edward anyway. After all, it is the name of his father and the love of my life…" I tease.
"Edward? Yes, I suppose that is the proper name and fitting, but I don't want him to be a junior," he says decisively.
"Well, technically he wouldn't be a junior; he'd be a third because your father was also named Edward Anthony. Huh. Maybe we should go with it and call him Tripp or Trey?"
Edward wrinkles his nose, and this idea is immediately squashed. I think back to our family and my mind sees Rosalie's beautiful face - stubborn yes, but determined and loyal too. Suddenly I have an idea!
"Hey, Edward, do we still have that book of baby names in your nightstand?" we had stashed it in his room one weekend when the Denali's had been in town, and we'd let Laurent and Irina stay in our cottage so they could have a little one-on-one time away from the prying eyes of Tanya and the rest of the clan. It was the same weekend that Jessica threw me a baby shower and Angela, not knowing that we already had a name for our daughter reserved, had given this book to me as a gift. Edward leans over to the nightstand, opens the drawer and pulls it out with a flourish. He hands it to me and I ruffle through the pages eagerly. There it is!
"Look, Edward…this is perfect!"
And it is.
We read it aloud together "Hale \ha-le\ as a boy's name is pronounced hayle. It is of Old English origin. The meaning of Hale is hero."
"It's perfect," we both agree. We laugh again as we realize that his at least the third time we've said the same thing at the same time since I awoke from my transformation.
"So… Edward Hale Cullen?" I ask.
"Yes, Edward Hale Cullen, who will affectionately be known as Teddy. What do you think of your brother's name, Ger-ah, Charlotte?" he corrects himself. "Sorry, Bella," he says with an apologetic smile. I lean over and kiss him on his lips with a smile. The name Gertie is starting to grow on me, but no way will I tell her father or anyone else that. No way. My mind is a steel trap.
"Yeah, it's not so bad after all, is it?" he teases me.
Shit! The shield must have slipped again. I'm going to Zaffrina for a refresher.
"Are you thirsty, sweetheart? I know you need to hunt, but Carlisle did bring a dozen or so Big Gulps for you, and I know that Alice is dying to take some pictures."
I tell him that although my throat is aching a little, I have no desire to leave my babies just yet. He sets Charlotte in my arms and goes to the cooler and takes out two more drinks for me. I cuddle both of our babies in our arms and sigh in contentment. Yes, I am still overwhelmed by all the changes in my life, but motherhood seems to suit me.
I watch Edward's face as he walks back to us, and I see the expression on his face; it is tender and full of love. Instead of getting back into the bed with us he drops to his knees by my side. I look at him expectantly as he takes one hand and cups my cheek.
"Thank you, Bella. Thank you for not giving up on me and for making me see that with you by my side anything is possible. Before you came along, I was a grumpy old man who never knew what it was like to really live. I wandered around for years living in everybody else's shadows never really making one of my own. I played my music, but there were never any words because I couldn't find them in the darkness. I went to school dozens of times, but never made a friend so I never really learned anything important. I never shared my body with anyone so I didn't know about intimacy or the power of touch. I didn't know what love was... only that it existed in books, poetry, movies, and plays. I believed that true love was meant for everyone but me. Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is that I love you and I worship you. You're my wife, the mother of our children, and my best friend." He kisses my cheek softly and reverently.
Okay, can I just say that even though this is a lovely and heartfelt little speech, I barely hear a word because the fly on his boxers is partially open and all I can think about is: when are we gonna get these pictures taken anyway so we can go hunt and I can have my wicked way with this gorgeous man!
Does this make me a bad person?
Before I can answer him (or myself) the door swings back open and Alice and the gang return with their arms full of clothes and presents. They take the babies from us and sit in the various spots in the room while Edward and I go into the bathroom and change. I would love to take a shower but even as Edward suggests it I know it is a bad idea for us to start something we won't be able to finish. I do take a moment to grab Mr. Masen and give him a quick kiss hello and promise to catch up with him later. (Oh, and in case you're wondering I also tell my husband that he needs to purchase some boxers and lounge pants that won't accidently open and reveal the family jewels, especially since we now have children around!) I laugh when I see him look down at his crotch and notice his, er, situation. He looks like he would blush if he was able, but then he turns around and pinches my fanny saying, "It's entirely your fault for being so damn sexy when you first woke up. I must have popped the damn button off these things."
Meh, - it happens all the time. I'll pick him up some new underwear myself as soon as Carlisle deems me fit to be around humans. What should only take seconds takes us at least ten minutes as we stroke and touch each other between kisses, zippers, and sleeves.
When we return to our family, Alice places us all into position and sets up the camera for a group shot.
"Okay, we're all set," she calls out in the seconds before the timer on the old fashioned Brownie camera goes off. I look up when I hear a noise at the doorway and see my dad enter the room. He gives me a little wave before he quickly jockeys himself into position and reaches to take Charlotte from Emmett's arms.
"Show me the love!" Alice cries. I look around the room and see all the wonderful faces beaming and bursting with happiness and pride. From the human to the vampire and to the children who are the best of both, I look at my father, Carlisle, Esme, Emmett, Rose, Alice, Jasper, Charlotte and Teddy. My heart, though no longer beating, fills with love. Then I look up into my husband's impossibly beautiful face and sigh. I am happy and complete. This is my family.
Later we will gather our children and return to the cottage. Alice and Rose will hang out for a bit while we hunt and I make good on my promise to have my way with Edward. I will have a reunion with my dad and we'll discuss how or if we should tell Renee the full truth about the Cullens. Edward and I will have long talks while our children sleep, about the future and our plans. Esme and Carlisle will babysit, and Edward and I will go for another walk and return to the magic place we know as our meadow. And in our meadow, where it all really began, we will make love to each other again and again.
But right now?
We're busy mugging in front of the camera and creating memories for scrapbooks and Christmas cards.
Emmett is prancing around in the room with his mouse ears and calling Edward a Dumbass as if it's his first name. Edward growls at him as he lunges and pins him to the floor where they lay tangled and laughing. Brothers…
Rosalie is telling Emmett not to be a dumbass and tells him to take that stupid hat off so she can scare the trash man with it again. She scoops it off his head and runs out of the room laughing hysterically when she hears Emmett curse and then chases after her.
Jasper is sitting at the desk writing on some kind of parchment paper with a quill and ink. I will later find out that he is writing letters to Charlotte and Teddy chronicling our first day as a family together.
Charlie is cradling both babies in his grandmother's chair. He rocks back and forth, and I hear him chuckle when Charlotte reaches out and tugs on his mustache.
Esme is standing in back of Charlie singing a lovely lullaby in Italian. Her sweet voice fills the room with its melodic beauty.
Carlisle stands by the window quietly with his face turned to the sun. I see his eyes close and his lips move as if in prayer. As I watch him, I am filled with the awareness that he is thanking God for his family and is asking for his blessing.
Alice is busy snapping pictures with her old Brownie camera then switches it up and replaces it with a digital one that hasn't even been put on the market yet. Later she will make a home movie that we'll watch on our twins first birthday.
I look around the room and at the sea of faces that make up my family and grin. Because, yeah, we're showing each other "the love" today and everyday as we take the first step into our own little piece of forever.
I now know that a fork in the road doesn't always mean a parting of ways because at the end of our journey all the different roads we take in this life really do lead to the same place.
Home.
The end
A/N: And so we come full circle. It has been an amazing journey and I am so happy for all the readers who have come along with me for the ride!
I would like to thank my lovely beta coleen561 for all her hard work and dedication. There were times when I really wanted to hang up the towel on this story and just say, "No more!" However Coleen always offered me excellent ideas when my well ran dry in addition to fixing my misplaced commas and dangling participles. Because I can be a bit of a control freak I didn't think I would enjoy working with a beta. I was wrong. She has been the best!
When I first began this story I had no idea how to end it really, because in my mind it was only to be a few chapters about Bella seducing Edward in order to make him stay. However Edward and Bella had a story to tell that wasn't pure fluff and smutty lemons, (though there were plenty of those and they were fun to write!) Back in July of 2010 (when I wrote my first four chapters) I had no idea that Edward would have a sister who died as a child or that Charlie and Tanya had a brief but powerful encounter when he was a teenage boy. But as often happens, characters begin to take on a life of their own and this is what happened to my little four chapter exercise to get my muse cracking!
Thank you all so much for your reviews, PM's, and your continuing support. If you haven't left a review before won't you consider doing so now?
Remember to keep me on author and story alert in the event there are some future takes!
Jayne
XO!
