Thanks to all my betas who contributed in different ways: lovingyouisbest, JD Bell; Joy Booth and Fredrica.
Final tweaking is my own.
Now that things have settled down in the Bennet's home, Jane and Lizzy are off working on a project, but it can be so hard to focus when one is in love...
We are coming close to the end here- It may get wrapped up next weekend.. we shall see
some MA references. If I've gotten any language or culture wrong or have been disrespectful, please PM me.
Reviews are most welcome!
Mr Lovegrove
While the sisters started out talking as they worked, earnest concentration eventually left each to her own thoughts. Lizzy left the shop having made a dozen resolutions about her life, but there was one she kept deepest in her heart.
She couldn't help but remember HIM while she was here. She could almost smell his fragrance, almost taste his lips, as he had hovered over her just here, where she knelt on the sturdy table, cutting fabric. She put these unbearable memories away, turning to other thoughts.
She contemplated the past several hours' events. Upon her return, she had been confronted with the seriousness of Lydon's afflictions, as her aunt Phil so euphemistically put it. Now that Lydon's estrangement seemed to be resolving itself in a novel yet effective manner, Lizzy had to admit to an odd sense of estrangement, herself. While her family seemed to be clearly evolving into a different stage, she was no longer sure where she fit in.
Did it start at vacation? No, not then, before. Her mind, her heart, traveled back to her fevered illness. True, she had disconnected moreso then, but still, it was before. School and work held a unique emptiness after the show- after his proposal.
She sensed within herself that ambivalent desire that he had said something, expressed some sensibility that would have fit her own. Yet, when Lizzy asked herself what she would have wanted at that moment, she couldn't say. What she wanted then seemed reasonable, and yet, in the context of her current life, short-sighted. No, her most fervent desire was to see a destination transcendent from her own, and from that which he had first imagined, and proposed, however awkwardly he'd done it at the time.
There seemed little reason now to pursue a course of action where he was concerned, however. He must have surely regretted their last liaison, as he had not contacted her since. Surely if that was the case, she could find her way through this, like she'd done after Jane, after Cole, after everything. He may have served his purpose in her life already- to challenge, inspire and be gone. But if that were the case, she must have misjudged the seriousness of his proposal. Or maybe he had taken her own regrets to heart and couldn't face another one of her doubts, so often voiced after they'd… well…
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Unconsciously she said aloud, "to think that he is in the world and thinking ill of me…"
"What?" Her sister looked up from stitching.
"Nothing Jane."
"I seriously doubt that is the case."
"Why would you say that?"
"I have my reasons."
"It's nice for you to reassure me, and part of me wants to ask you question to which you will be evasive. But no matter what you think you've observed, I believe you still have a certain propensity to believe the best of others. And yet, evidence shows in this case the situation is quite the reverse. I have too much dignity to beg you for information that you clearly don't feel at liberty to give. I can't go on waiting for him like this, either. I'm too proud to call him."
"Can I ask you something, Lizzy?"
She gave her sister a probing look, "If you actually think it can help, then yes. Otherwise, no."
Jane got that glint in her eye, "Well then, since you put it that way. How many times have you two had sex?"
"Five." Lizzy replied, through gritted teeth.
Lizzy could see the wheels turning in her sister's head, "And how many times have you fought or been otherwise separated?"
"(Sigh) Five!"Lizzy snarled.
Jane worked for a beat, then paused and looked up, "Did you ever think that maybe you need to call him, if only to work out whatever tension you two have?"
"Urgh!" An unintelligible sound, somewhere between a groan and a growl escaped from somewhere deep inside her- a prelude of the rapid fire response to come. "Me? Me? What about HIM?! I admit, I may like him a lot and want to fix things and I don't know what to do about it now because he left and I haven't heard from him. And if anyone thinks I'm easy just because I'd probably do him again, given the chance, then I don't care."
"Care to test that theory?" Jane had a clearly guilty smirk on her face.
"What? Are you going to go ahead and tell me what you and Charles have been so evasive about? And whatever it has to do with Darcy?"Lizzy was scowling at her sister.
"Well, I do have a reason to be evasive as you put it. The timing was wrong….. Charles and I are getting married!" The cadence, volume and tone of her voice accelerated drastically at the end.
"Omigosh! I am so happy for you! Jane. Really, that is so wonderful. You deserve every happiness-even if you are a pain in the ass sometimes, you are really the most deserving person I know, my dear sister." Jane and Elizabeth hugged and Jane showed Elizabeth her antique Art Nouveau engagement band, the one that she'd always admired at their aunt's store, which had been dangling unobtrusively from a ribbon around her neck. "You sly thing- wearing it this whole time. He is so perfect to get you this! How did he know to get this?"
Jane fingered the band, "Well I did say no to him at first. He proposed several times after I moved in. I think he only succeeded after Tia tipped him off about my tastes. This just shows how solicitous he is. He learned from his mistakes, and I think he benefited from someone else's. A certain gentleman who is going to be our best man."
Lizzy smiled in understanding, "I see. That's why you were so concerned with our 'tension'. There is no way I am standing up with him, I'll be humiliated. Jane, I love you- you know because I've wiped your butt when you needed help. However, some things are just too personal."
"Lizzy. You have to resolve this for my sake as well as yours. I want you both there and I won't have you making moon eyes at each other or sniping, only to embarrass people with being found in flagrante delicto in the coat room when you think no one will miss you, only to get in a fight or leave things unresolved YET again. You must be reasonable."Jane's brow furrowed with effort.
"Reasonable!? REASONABLE!?"Lizzy burst out.
Jane cut her off:"Lizzy, I know that when your claws are out, you really are more hurt than angry. And, I know that you wouldn't have sex with someone you merely admire, no matter how gorgeous or talented he is. Especially when you seem to have this reaction. It's not just about sex. If it were, you two would be happy to just be fuck buddies. I know that isn't in your value system but I think if it were with a certain type of man you could be persuaded."
"It should be a sin how good it is with him. But he seemed too good to be true, and intent on establishing that he, in fact, was. I hated feeling inferior. It was so confusing- wanting him so much but having that feeling"
"Lizzy, it has to do at least as much with you as it does him. You've had that chip on your shoulder about being inferior ever since mom didn't get you art classes in elementary school. So, you didn't take art. Get over it, you're an astounding clothier.
And about Darcy, as much as he can be pompous, I think he has learned from his mistakes. I also think he's worshiped you from the beginning, he just has awkward ways of expressing it- as ironic as that is. I think he was trying for that Svengali act for that reason. Despite all that, you love him and he scares the hell out of you, so you come out swinging every time he challenges you- or one of you runs away. I know I'm not naive in this, I know he has been in love with you for a long time. He still is, I'm sure."
"Alright, I will concede you the point that I need to get over my mother's withholding art classes from me and all the other stuff she's done, I need to see my own worth. I'm working on it Jane. But. About Darcy: You think this, you know that. You're so sure. Why won't you tell me details?"
Jane shook her head, "It isn't my story to tell. You could do this the hard way and not call him. You could have all this tension while you and Darcy are thrust into all of these wedding plans together and who knows what will erupt- and when. Or, as I've been trying to point out, you two can make up and make out sooner rather than later. Just not in public when Charles and I are getting married…. You know you need to straighten this out, so why don't you just deal with it before my wedding and make it easier on everyone?"
"He could really love me." Lizzy was stunned speechless briefly.
"My sources, and the substantial evidence I have, indicate yes, very much." Jane looked at her sister intently, awaiting a reply.
Finally Lizzy answered, "Alright. I can't think of anything to say to that. I'll try."
Jane raised her eyebrows, "What do you mean you'll try?"
"It means that I am suddenly exhausted and I can't think of anything else to do right now, especially since I'd have a 5 hour drive to see him, and I just want to be left alone right now, not chasing him all over New Mexico."
"Promise me you'll talk about it if you need to? This isn't like you- you usually deal with things and I don't want to see you running away this time."
"But I'm afraid for a reason, surely you see this. Remember the wisdom of Nietze? 'Don't look to deeply into the abyss or it will consume you.' Or something like that? Darcy is my abyss. I just seem to fall right in every time and it terrifies me because I haven't a clue what to do. I just want to focus right now on getting this work out."
"That IS reasonable. Can we finish up in a couple of hours and have a late lunch?" For the first time that morning, Lizzy readily agreed with Jane.
Sooner than you think
The remainder of the morning, as she sewed, Lizzy made an uneasy peace with Jane's suggestion that she initiate calling Darcy. By the time they finished lunch at The Orchard Bistro, Lizzy had rehearsed what she would say in her head and was determined to call him when she got home.
She really could not have helped that her plans were changed. It was with surprised joy that she and Jane greeted Lydon.
They were also happy to meet Lydon's new friends who had been invited back to The Farm while Lydon retrieved clothes and things he'd need for the last few weeks of summer, and his last day of 'freedom'. The men had only arrived to The Farm minutes before Jane and Lizzy. Introductions had been made and parties split up by the time the elder Bennet sisters arrived.
Lydon was outside proudly showing his friends 'the real thing,' giving Gera and Carerra a tour of the corrals to meet Eos and then meandering around the rest of the acreage. They met Jane and Lizzy with polite enthusiasm, and continued their tour with their 'entourage'.
Francesca was close behind the men pointing out other areas of interest, like the orchard, and Mary's garden. Mary and Collins were both inclined to be present to assure that nothing got trampled and to answer any questions the men had. Kitty was eager to follow her brother and his friends around, as usual. She was rewarded by their attentions when they wanted to see a 'real fair queen'. Barrels had been set up and she took Eos on a couple of circuits, the men cheering her on.
Both men had spent most of their days in the big cities of metropolitan Juarez and then El Paso and were reveling in their experiences on a real farm. The men squealed at the 'adorable' rabbits, oohed and aaahed at the verdant garden and enthused over all things 'farmy'. Edward remained outside long enough to be amused by their reactions, but when he got warm, he moved back inside, keeping vigil at 'his' wingback chair in the TV room, watching the events through the picture window, smiling to himself.
Meanwhile, Lizzy and Jane had abandoned the tour to go inside themselves. There, Bingley, Tia and Uncle were chatting intently with another unknown young man. When Lizzy and Jane approached, Lizzy was introduced to Koko. Lizzy sensed a certain familiarity that Jane, Bingley and the Gardiners maintained, confirming their involvement in the scheme.
Lizzy inquired of the group what the plans were for Lydon's return and learned that indeed Francesca and Edward had signed the contract along with Lydon. He was going to do mechanical bull 'shows', as well as teaching both the mechanical bull and country dancing. This was to take place under the strict supervision of Gera and Carerra.
Koko explained he was just 'along for the ride', although Lizzy imagined this was the 'friend' of whom Bingley spoke. More than once she saw Charles and Koko talking to the side, as if they'd known each other for a long time. What surprised her, and sparked her suspicion even more, was Koko's clear interest in her. "It is so nice to finally meet you! You are every bit as enchanting as I've heard!"
Lizzy regarded him with suspicion, "Strong words coming from Lydon."
"Oh, your brother says good things about you but you are admired widely!" Koko replied, indicating that someone else found Lizzy enchanting. This earned an odd look from Lizzy. Koko smiled enigmatically. "But I want to get to know you myself, so tell me everything. Are you a fine dancer?"
Lizzy looked at him oddly,"What kind of question is that?"
Koko, clearly enjoying himself, answered, "Well, your brother is very good, I thought…."
"Oh, yes, well of course we all know how to square dance and country dance. Jane and I prefer to go clubbing when we can, however."
"I bet you tear it up on the dance floor at clubs! A real sex kitten, rawr!" Again Lizzy looked at him strangely and Koko toned down his teasing. "I hear you make costumes-do you wear them when you go out? You know, I could easily see you with a butterfly cape, Florence Welch style."
At that, Lizzy giggled. "You seem to have very decided ideas about clothing. Do you have more than a passing interest of the sartorial persuasion? Are you offering to dress me, perhaps?" She didn't know what to make of what he attempted to imply, but could tell he was getting a lot of good natured amusement at her expense.
"I have my hands full with my brother and his friend. They want my help, and then they think I make them look not straight enough. I wish they'd make up their mind. Ah well," Here Jorge ventured a glance at Bingley, "one of them has a soon to be wife who will be helping him, and with any luck, soon so will my dear brother. He needs someone to look after him, poor thing, he's certainly had his hands full with me. At least things turned out well in the end, thanks to him."
Lizzy's eyes widened, wondering internally. She only commented, "He sounds like an ideal older brother."
"The best. But I always wanted a sister." He pinned her with his eyes.
"Are you trying to set me up?"
"I don't know, are you available"? He asked but, again, the question seemed to imply more.
"Really Koko, you're incorrigible." Lizzy regarded this fair man, who was about her age. He certainly had a pretty face. "I have someone to call, but if that doesn't work out, I just may need someone to mend my heart. If he looks anything like you, maybe I'll take you up on it." Again, Koko smiled enigmatically. It was really unnerving.
Koko redirected the conversation, which Lizzy noticed, but was both too polite to do anything but allow it. On his request, she and Jane showed him their work, and the minutes flew by. Soon, it was time for the men to head back in order to get the club ready to open that night. Everyone assembled by the car to say goodbye. Lydon went down the line, hugging each family member while Francesca was loudly crying and offering useless advice. When he got to Lizzy she quietly told him how much she liked his friends, and how thankful she was for what they'd done for him.
Lydon replied, "They were wonderful, but the real reason I'm even here, and not still trying to hide, is Koko."
She raised her eyebrows, "So, he's not just 'along for the ride?'"
"Oh, no. He's the one who convinced me about Wickham's issues. And when he told me how Wickham had turned him against Darcy…." With that Lydon clamped his mouth with his hand.
"Who?" She interrupted.
"Oh lordy, that was supposed to be a secret, sis. Gotta go!" And with his usual quickness, Lydon had finished his goodbyes and was ensconced in the Toyota Cruiser, waiting to go back to his temporary home.
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The family was still milling about out front, taking their time to go back in. Lizzy turned to the Gardiners, Bingley and Jane. "Would someone care to tell me more about what my dear brother just spilled?" All looked at one another guiltily.
"Fine. If none of you have the cojones to speak, I will." Tia came forward, putting her arm around Lizzy and steering her toward the guest bedroom where the two could talk more privately. "It is my understanding that Darcy had to leave the resort because Catalina does not allow 'canoodling' with the guests. Do you have any idea who he would canoodle with, mija?"
Lizzy blushed and looked down. Her Tia continued. "Anyway, when he got back, he had to arrange for someone to take his place, and so he called Caroline because she loves to kiss Catalina's ass and wouldn't mind taking time out of her summer, even changing her plans to go do that very thing. It is my understanding that Darcy's been looking into properties in Dona Maria. For some reason, he thought it would be nice to come back here. Do you have any idea why that would be?"
Lizzy stuttered, Uh, maybe the University wanted him back?
Tia flicked her wrist, "Whatever. Fine, don't talk to your Tia. I will still tell you the rest of the story. You want the rest of the story?" Lizzy nodded. "Well there he was, making arrangements, when he got a call from Bingley that Lydon was missing. While Jane came down, Bingley stayed in town to help Darcy make other arrangements with someone who might be able to better understand the situation. Darcy and Bingley had called Darcy's brother, Jorge, or Koque-his club friends call him Koko. Now, I know you are not sonsa and neither am I. I suppose you can figure out why Jorge would be able to help."
"Yes."Lizzy sighed.
"And I suppose you can understand why Jane is convinced that Darcy still loves you." Tia's hand was on her hip as she looked at her niece accusingly.
"Why didn't she tell me?" Elizabeth asked.
"Maybe you're asking the wrong people the wrong questions." Elizabeth conceded this point, and agreed that very soon, she would, in fact, talk to the right person.
The mood that night was generally festive as Bingley and Jane thought it appropriate to announce their engagement. Lizzy felt celebratory for an additional reason. Maybe she, as the maid of honor, could in fact, be quite amiable with their best man. That evening, Bingley and Jane went to town for a date, while the rest of the family settled in to watch one of their favorite movies, Disney's Beauty and the Beast. Lizzy had her sewing out and while she watched the movie, she was putting the finishing touches to her project. She planned to talk to Darcy but told herself that now was not the time.
Run into those wild places
The next morning, Lizzy woke uncharacteristically late. This was possibly because she hadn't been able to sleep for wondering what to say to a certain person. Perhaps this is why she decided she wanted to return to the jewelry studio to work on other projects.
Everyone else had already gone into town. Apparently Tia wanted to get some things for her kids while she was in Dona Maria. Francesca and Kitty accompanied her. Gardiner had gone with Edward, Mary and Collins to some equipment yards in town.
Jane and Bingley were the only ones left at home still. They sat, eating breakfast.
"I think I hear the anvil calling me." Elizabeth announced.
"So you'll be in the studio, then?" Jane queried.
"Tell mom I plan to make it a long day- I'm not going to be at dinner." Lizzy informed her sister, as she, poured some cereal.
"What makes you think I'll be here? Charles and I are going out all day- and most of the night- celebrating."
Lizzy looked up from her bowl. "Where are you going?"
Jane had a faraway look in her eye, "I don't know- a romantic walk on the dunes of White Sands, a candle light tailgate dinner on the Rio Grande, laying on a blanket in the desert with stars all around… we'll think of something suitable."
"You aren't as beautiful when you're smugly in love, sister dear." Jane and Bingley left soon after, for parts unknown. Lizzy finished getting ready for a day in the studio, and grabbed her toolbox, suddenly energized with a need to put her hands to expressing what her words could not yet say.
As she was preparing, Lizzy ignored her phone's buzz several times, assuming one of the Bennets was calling to bug her about something for which she had little patience at the moment. Sure enough, when Lizzy checked her cell, it indicated that she had gotten 7 calls in about 30 mintues: Mom, Kitty, Kitty, Mom, Aunt Phil, Mom, Kitty.
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In a mood to ignore them- a trait she shared w/ her father- Lizzy did just that. However, just as she was out the door, her phone rang yet again. Assuming it was but another Bennet, calling to bother her again, she tersely ordered "Stop bugging me! Geez!"
A subdued voice answered; "I'm sorry, Elizabeth, I was just calling to…" the phone was silent and Lizzy was too impatient to wait for the silence to end
"To what?" She asked, recovering. "Sorry- you caught me by surprise a second ago. In the past half hour I've gotten calls back to back from my family- they're driving me crazy and I'm just trying to get out the door to the studio."
"I don't want to bother you, then…. um…Goodbye…." Darcy was about to hang up when he heard Lizzy's frantic response.
"No, Wait! I want to thank you for what you and Jorge did for Lydon!" Lizzy held her breath and the seconds seemed to pass very slowly as she awaited a reply.
Finally there was a sigh on the other end. "I didn't want you to know."
"Whyever not?" Lizzy stood in the doorway awaiting his reply.
"I want you to feel like we're on equal ground and you've gotten upset before when you thought I was trying to arrange your life, for my purposes. I wanted to stay out of this because I only did it for you. If your feelings are what they were when we last-"
"Yes!" She interrupted, "I mean, do you mean the time in Sedona when we last-"
"Yes." He confirmed.
She stuttered, "M-m- my feelings have undergone a material change."
"Oh." The sound of disappointment was palpable.
Lizzy continued, "What I mean is, my feelings go deeper than I've ever known. I know that you've made me a better person, and that I could be a better person without you. I've been putting my energy into that for the past few months, that's what I realized. But I don't want to be without you. I don't know what would have been the solution when you proposed; I've been trying to figure out how it could have worked then. I still don't know. But I do know that I regret dismissing you then, as I did, so out of hand."
Darcy answered, "Well all the same, I'm sorry for what I said, when I proposed. I'm sorry for my lack of communication, my contribution to our misunderstandings…Except for the time when you got upset that I thought your family was too good for Wickham, because I'm right about that."
"Well then I guess there is something we agree on. So, I understand there was a particular reason for your abrupt departure from Rosings?" Lizzy's teasing laugh was a confection for his ears. He'd missed this side of her. What was he thinking- he missed every side of her.
"Ah, yes, I left before I could pollute the atmosphere of Rosings for meddling with the guest, as it were. Catalina doesn't exactly take to that – you know, ethics…."
Lizzy couldn't tell whether his voice was tight or if he was dryly poking fun at their mistakes. "Then I guess I need to say I'm sorry for being so determined to misjudge you. I have a tendency to think the worst, when, in your own way you're being sensitive."
"Especially sensitive where you're concerned." There was no mistaking the tone in Darcy's voice this time. It was avaricious, and Darcy greedily accepted the involuntary sigh of delight that was Lizzy's response.
"Well, I guess we can call a truce right now."
"As always, Ms. Bennet I am at your disposal anytime- in case you need to hammer out any details of the Bennet-Darcy peace agreement. 5 hours really isn't very far to travel…"
She could almost see the tendrils of seduction that were curling toward her and could definitely feel their pull- she had the urge to stay home and have phone sex- or even better, get in the car and drive… This time, she had a shred of awareness- possibly due to the conditioning of pain that came after their every sexual encounter. She wondered in a flash if she would now have the urge to get into an argument or take flight every time the man gave her an orgasm…
"What are you thinking about?" Darcy's seductive drawl again pulled at Lizzy.
This time, she knew she had to resist temptation to give into the pattern. It was hard to do something new. "I don't know if I should tell you this but I am afraid we've conditioned ourselves to have an argument or some other kind of misunderstanding after sex. I think we need to get a few things straight and I really am not in a place to do that right now. I really want to just go to the studio. I need to think. Falling for you is scary."
"Afraid of falling into the abyss that is William Darcy?" Darcy drily joked. "Smart woman."
She noticed his comment. "Where did you get that?"
"What?"
"The abyss remark. Have you been talking to Jane?"
"It was something that an analyst friend said to me recently." Darcy answered.
Lizzy frowned in contemplation, "That's a coincidence; I told Jane you were my abyss awhile back."
"Not a coincidence, then. I believe my friend would call it a synchronicity. I think it is a confirmation that you should trust your instinct." Darcy commented.
"What exactly do you mean?" Lizzy asked.
"Uh, well, it's hard to explain without sounding self serving, but, basically since you got the same message twice, without any cause for the pattern, it's like the universe, or your intuition, is trying to tell you something, and that you should listen. As much as I'd love to see you in an instant, I think you are right to wait until it is your right time. I have to trust that and so do you. I only hope it is sooner than later." His words crystallized their dilemma.
"You mean you understand that I can't rush over to see you, even though I now admit to my feelings about you?"
"Yes. I'm ready, and at your disposal. Anytime. If you need to talk about this or…no, I won't say it- as much as I want to tell you all kinds of seductive things, I'll wait until we do see each other. Then, Elizabeth, someone will have to restrain themselves or I might just overwhelm you with my ardent feelings. They may just consume us both."
Lizzy let his words sink in and the phone was momentarily silent, then she answered, "I will. I mean, I will give you a call soon. Don't get too proud of yourself but my head is do need to talk more."
"Well I can't help but be a little self satisfied. I doubt there are many who can render you speechless." And in so many ways, they both thought, ruefully.
"Well, uh, it was nice talking to you….uh…well,…."
"Lizzy? Iloveyou." The words tumbled out of his mouth.
"What was that? She didn't really hear him." It was like he was the teacher on Charlie Brown.
He took a deep breath. "I. LOVE. YOU, Lizzy Bennet." He waited.
This time, his words were clear. "I can't fix the day or the moment or the hour when I realized that what we –have- is this deep love that I have come into. And I want to explore all of its mysteries with you. Soon."
He sounded anguished. "I don't want to push, but by the Goddess I miss you so much."
She responded, "I miss you. I love you, William Darcy."
His breath caught."Say it again".
"Only if you say it again." She teased.
"I love you." They said, at once.
"Can I call you later, this evening, when I get back from the studio?" Lizzy asked.
"Of course. Anytime. Interrupt me." His voice was urgent. She chuckled, knowing just how he'd really like to be interrupted. They told each other they loved each other again, just for good measure. After Lizzy hung up, she stood outside the door at a loss.
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What to do? She was all agitated energy, feeling bigger than herself, connected … his words eloquently manifested the unknown otherworld in which she inhabited. The dawning of this reality was what had scared her all along. As she turned on her Iphone music, Labour of Love started playing.
She decided to go by her aunt's store to see what kind of goodies she could find.
After the passage of several minutes Lizzy was in the back store room amongst random storage containers and bins with her Uncle D. She located all the treasures she needed- an antique metal frame, an old corset, a small, feminine flask, and a bag of old feathers, beads and findings harvested from long gone antique garments. As she was leaving, Lizzy accidentally knocked over a box. It jingled with old bells, tumbling to the floor, then she felt a thump on her toes. A heart shaped lock and key literally fell at her feet. Seeing this as a true sign, she added this to her collection and design plans as she set the rest of the box and its contents aright.
She took these items to the costume shop and set to work with the heavy duty tools, cutting a shape out of the corset and finishing the edges. She gathered a few items for later from the shop then went to the studio. Lizzy bought a range of metals from brass, copper, to sterling. She cut the plates of metal into strips and folded them lengthwise, then cut out shapes she took from an insect illustration book. The pieces were prepped and pounded until delicate butterflies emerged. Finally, Lizzy processed the pieces in various coatings to give them patinas. She saved one for enameling later.
It was late when Lizzy finally wandered to her bed, exhausted. She had previously found just enough energy to discard her filthy clothes and put on the old Mission Tee before making the anticipated call. It was her one token of hope to which Lizzy had clung after Darcy had left Rosings so abruptly. She found it in her bed the morning after their interlude. It smelled like his spicy, woodsy cologne and that clean smell that was all him. She had kept it in one of her plastic cosmetic bags, hoping to retain that scent.
The late night call between lovers, spoke of possibilities, meeting times, places. Lizzy wanted to get to a certain juncture with work. Darcy wanted to get to other junctures, which he made quite plain. He also made it even plainer that he respected Lizzy's decision and was at her disposal. That night, she dreamed of butterflies, among other things.
