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Chapter 27- When You Just Know.

Collins came home and Sam was still watching Andy sleep. She'd fallen into a deep sleep after a while and he was content to just sit there and watch her.

'Promise you won't just walk away' zoomed through his mind at some random point, it really didn't make much sense but it was still there.

His mind had been working overtime running over the back and forth between them, but he still had no idea why one simple revelation would confuse him more than he had been before, or how it would make a random thought suddenly resurface and trigger a memory.

Sam met Collins in the hall as soon as he heard the front door open.

"She okay?" Collins asked as soon as Sam was close enough. They were talking in hushed whispers, Collins somehow knowing that Andy was sleeping. It was weird, but he too had a seventh sense when it came to Andy.

"No, but she'll get there". She was strong, she would be okay in time.

"You've been here the whole time?". Collins asked as he moved to the kitchen and fished out a bottle of whiskey and two tumblers after setting his dufle bag down.

At least the moment wasn't too tense or too awkward, Collins appeared to have some kind of acceptance that he was still here.

He poured them each a stiff shot before holding out one of the tumblers to Sam.

"Yup".

"Why?".

Sam huffed out a breath, his hand pinching his nose as he closed his eyes.

Did Collins really want that answered?

"Look, I get that she needs you now, but how long is it going to be before you get tired of her again? How long are you going to hang around before you're gone again?"

Ouch.

That caused Sam great discomfort, knowing that it was how he was seen. Is that how she saw him too?

"That depends on her, it's her choice".

"And yours? What's your choice when it comes to her? Or are you just here now because she needs someone?".

"Look Collins, I don't expect you to understand okay, I don't even expect her to try and make sense of this right now. Yes I'm here because she needs me, and yes I'm here now because it's the right thing to do, because she came to me first... But I'm here because I think I love her, and I don't want her to do this alone"

Sam heard Andy whimper from behind him, she had woken up and come into the hall but remained undetected as she padded closer with bare feet on the carpet.

Sam hung his head when he heard her footsteps carry her away, this time they were loud. She was so stomping.

When he looked up Collins was smiling at him over the rim of his glass.

"I think you should have told her that" he said before taking a sip of his whiskey.

Sam abandoned his glass on the counter and asked Collins the silent question of 'Do you mind?'. Collins answered back by nodding towards his bedroom and saying something that sounded like 'go get her' before Sam left him drinking alone.

Sam pushed the door open and found Andy laying in bed with her back facing the door.

He sat down on the end of the bed, his breath coming out in a long groan. His timing was way off.

"I'm sorry you heard that, I shouldn't have said it...". Great. Another huge cluster of words that didn't quite come out right.

Andy rolled back a bit and looked up at him, her face cast in more tears.

"Please, don't cry". Sam looked away, he couldn't bare it knowing that he was the reason behind those tears. Not when the world had already given her so many other reasons to shed tears.

"Now? Sam seriously? My Dad died yesterday, and you choose now to say that? After ..."

Her voice was raw, her emotions clearly evident.

"I'm sorry again, I can't help it okay, it's not something I don't have any control over. Yes that's why I'm here, but you came to me first remember?".

"Get out".

"What?" Sam turned to face her, her eyes flashing anger as she looked at him. Gone was the hurt and sadness leaving only the rage that consumed her right now.

"Andy..."

"No, you need to leave Sam". She sounded so cold saying that, it made Sam hate himself.

"No".

"Sam, please if you have any respect you'll leave now".

Sam heard how desperately she wanted him gone, so he stood up and faced her. "You know where I am if you need anything".

He couldn't help but slam Collins' front door behind him when he left.

"You okay?" Nick asked from just outside the door.

"No".

"Andy, you should have let him stay".

"No Nick, this is all wrong, and the timing is wrong and...". Andy broke again, Nick moving closer as he sat down and hugged her.

"This can not be happening. If he remembers, everything will change, and he won't feel the same".

Nick let out a long sigh. What were the chances of the same guy falling for the same girl again, when he didn't remember it happening the fist time? Apparently it wasn't something that didn't exist, or would never happen...

"Andy, if you were Gail right now, I'd be doing the same thing Swarek is, even if she isn't talking to me. It's what loves about, and you can't chose who you love, it chooses you".

Sam may have been insensitive but Nick got where he was coming from. Andy hadn't heard what Swarek said to him at the barn, and now it made more sense. It was Swarek's way of letting him know that if he wanted Andy, he was going to have to put up a fight to get her because Swarek intended on doing exactly that. Not that he even needed too, but anyway.

"Would you really?".

"Yup, if someone had to call me now for whatever reason, I'd be there for her even if it meant that I faced getting burned. I'd have to try".

"And If she called you?" Gail asked from the doorway making Nick and Andy jump a fraction. Traci had told her what happened and where Andy was so she came over after shift and walked in to hear most of their conversation.

"I'd be there too" Nick said smiling.

Gail brought pizza, wine and beer but Andy hardly had any. Traci stopped by a short while later so Andy asked her for a ride home to give Nick some time to fix it between him and Gail.

"You know when you left after Jerry died, I was mad, I didn't understand how my best friend could run out on me" Traci said randomly as she drove. They had never really had this conversation, and now five months after she came home from Dakota, Andy knew that there was no more avoiding it.

"Trace, I'm so sorry"

"I know but this was then. I get it now".

"Why now?".

"Because I've seen Sam loose the one person that mattered to him the most, and then I watched him live with it while you were around, before and after you came back. He just doesn't know it yet, but it's coming back. That's why he's changing even though he doesn't remember most of it".

"What?" Andy thought that Traci was talking about Jerry.

"Andy, Sam lost Jerry too, but it was different for me and him you know. When you came home I could see that he was still hurting but when I looked down the hallway, you were standing at the other end. It was you that Sam was mourning and couldn't get over, not Jerry".

"Trace, he moved on". Again Cruz hovered in Andy's mind.

"Because you didn't ask him to wait Andy, you didn't say goodbye, he did when he went under with Brennan, just differently. He also told you the only thing you were waiting to hear him say, and then you walked away. Don't you think that you doing that hurt him too?".

"He told me, or rather Nick that he thinks he loves me and I overheard him".

"What? When?". Traci was so glad that a red light caught her before Andy said that.

"Earlier tonight. I freaked out and told him to leave". It suddenly dawned on Andy that Traci had started the conversation about Sam before she said anything. "Wait, how'd you know?".

"Gail said that Marlo was at Sam's and you stopped by after leaving the hospital. I kinda figured that it made sense that you thought history was repeating itself, but her car broke down and Sam helped her out. He doesn't even remember dating her".

"Great!" Andy sighed, now Sam had one more thing to hold over her head.

"Andy, you need to give Sam a chance, he's trying. He might not even know why, but he is".

"Trace, I can't okay. He said he thinks he loves me, not he does. This is now, this is without all of the past tainting us and it's just wrong to let him think it can go anywhere no matter how much I want it too. It's unfair to him".

Traci drove them straight to her house, she didn't want Andy to be alone, and Andy didn't protest.

Leo had made her a get well card because Traci had told him that Andy had a broken heart, it was the sweetest gift anyone had ever given her, and it made her tears return.

Andy had a shower and tugged on some of Traci's clothes before giving her a hug and calling it a night. She crawled into the spare bed and tried to fall asleep.

Traci was woken by the sound of Andy crying so she hurried into the spare room and gently rested her hand on Andy's arm and called her, Andy surfacing almost immediately.

"Honey..."

"I'm sorry Traci" Andy said when her fingertips felt her wet cheeks.

"It's okay". Traci said giving her a hug. It was all she could do to comfort her now.

Andy was reliving her dads heart attack because she had been there and tried to save him, but couldn't.

"I'll be okay, go back to bed".

"You sure, I can stay?".

"No, you need to sleep Trace, I'll be okay".

"Okay, but just yell if you need me".

Andy settled back down, and tried to fall asleep, her mind refusing to give up on the harsh images that taunted her.

"Andy". Traci's voice was close.

"Crap! Again? I'm so sorry" Andy said wiping her tears away.

"It's okay, I'll stay this time". Less than an hour later Traci had been woken again by Andy's soft crying.

"No, I'll stay awake, just I'm sorry".

"Andy..."

"I'm okay, I promise".

Traci left Andy and went back to bed. She knew that Andy wasn't okay, she was struggling to keep it together. It wasn't just about her dad anymore, her dreams were taking her all over the show and she wasn't handling it very well.

Reaching for her phone, Traci made a call.

"Hi, sorry if I woke you".

"It's okay, you need something Nash?".

It was a little after ten pm, of course she needed something if she was calling him.

"It's Andy... Can you come over?".

Traci met Sam outside her door when she heard his truck pull up outside.

"Sam I'm sorry..."

"No you're not" Sam said trying to lighten the mood.

"I thought she was having a nightmare about Tommy having the heart attack in front of her, but she wasn't, she was dreaming..." Nash was wearing a serious frown, his joke was nowhere near numerous.

After all this time, she still found it so hard to talk to Sam.

"Dreaming?"

"Or rather having a nightmare... about you. She kept calling for you. I just want her to see you and see that you're okay, just five minutes?".

Sam nodded and Nash led him into her house just as Andy let out another wail.

Sam went into the room and Traci stood in the doorway watching in the soft glow of the hallway light as Sam walked over to the bed in the dark and lay down behind Andy.

He whispered something into her ear as his arm draped over her and it was like magic, Andy instantly let out a calm sigh and found peaceful sleep.

Sam stayed there after Nash closed the door and left, his mind wondering how Andy was going to react when she woke up to find him sleeping next to her. Because this time he wasn't planning on leaving her.

He had absolutely no idea how he knew what to do to calm her down, or what to say to help her find peace and chase away her nightmares, but he did. He acted on instinct and when he opened his mouth the words just came freely.

When she was deep in sleep Sam slipped his shoes off quietly and climbed back in behind her, resuming their position from earlier before he too surrendered to the rifts of slumber.

Sam woke up to Andy staring at him from her pillow.

"Hi" he said as he let his head roll to the side to see her properly. Before he saw her, he felt the intensity of her stare.

Andy nodded slightly, she thought that she was still dreaming.

"Sleep okay?" Sam felt like swallowing those words as soon as they were out.

"You should know". Andy was not happy that he was here.

"After I got here, yes, before; not so much".

Andy sat upright, she didn't think that he'd actually answer that.

It was still fairly dark outside, the lighting horizon peeking through the edges of the curtains.

"What were you dreaming about?". Sam knew that she needed to talk about it before it ate her alive.

"Nothing". Andy said sliding out of bed.

"So, calling me was nothing?"

Andy froze. Had Traci really heard that?

And called him? Arg! And actually told him that?

"Well I'm okay now, so thanks for coming...".

"I have plans for today anyway" Sam said sitting up.

"Well don't let me keep you" Andy reached for the door handle as she said that.

But then she froze and let her head lean against the back of the door.

"Andy, don't shut me out".

"I can't help it Sam..."

"I know, but try okay? I meant it when I said I'm here so that you don't have to go through this alone"

Andy pushed off the door and turned around to find Sam standing behind her.

"This is just so unfair, it's so cruel and so hard Sam. He was the last person I had left, the only person I had left, and he left me alone". Andy's voice broke under her tears again. She felt like Tommy had abandoned her just like her mother had.

"Me Andy, you've still got me, and Nash. Collins, Peck, Oliver, Noelle, we're all still here".

Sam's heart was really breaking when he said that, because he had also done the unthinkable by abandoning her once. Maybe that was why things were so strained between them? He couldn't recall the exact details, but he was now sure of that fact.

"For how long Sam? How long are you going to hang around this time?".

That hurt, but he deserved it.

"Until you start believing that I'm not going anywhere". He stated the truth as simply as he could.

"How long will that last? A week? Three? A year?".

"I don't know Andy, you tell me".

"Don't do this now, I can't deal with you right now too" Andy suddenly ended the conversation when it turned serious.

"I'll be here when you're ready" Sam said seconds before she left the room.

He knew that his timing was way off, but he needed her to know where he'd be.

For as long as it took.

Even if he was still battling his demons and needed time to find himself, she just needed him more.

***thanks for reading! Hope you'll leave a review?

Poor Sam, he just can't get it right, but I think her on the right track & now maybe he'll get it soon!

Have an awesome day!

Jelly Bean Jenna©