I've probably been driving for about two hours by now. I had stopped crying but I still couldn't think straight. I knew I couldn't go back to the house, but where could I go? I decided to call Thomas.

"Hello?"

"Hey, are you still in LA?" I asked.

"Yea, what's going on? You sound different."

"Umm, it's a long story. Do you think I can drop by your hotel?"

"Yea, of course. It's kinda far, though."

"It's fine. I'm going for a drive any way." I got the address from him then hung up. Since I had already driven a couple hours from the house, the hotel he was staying at was only a half hour away.

When I arrived, I grabbed my bag and locked the car, then made my way inside, to the floor he was on. When I found his room, I knocked on the door, waiting a few seconds for him to open it.

"Hey," He said and pulled me into a hug. He saw my eyes watering again and pulled me inside, closing and locking the door. "What's going on, Jael?" I shook my head, not being able to talk as the tears slid down. We both sat on the couch, me leaning against his chest and crying. "It's okay, take your time." I tried calming down as best as I could, then explained to him everything I was feeling. I talked to him about Charlotte, Joe, and just me in general. How I've been feeling like complete shit lately, my depression has gotten worse and my insomnia has been taking over me, plus that I haven't eaten in days.

"What are you gonna do about Joe?" He asked after I finished talking.

"I don't know. I love him but…I think it's over. I can't continue our relationship when I'm like this. Plus, we're both always working so we can never see each other, anyway. I just…I need time away from him. But I can't stand leaving him like this. But I feel like it's the only thing I can do."

"If you feel that it's right, then do it. As soon as possible. Because once it's over with, he won't be a burden on your shoulders anymore."

"But he's not the burden. I am."

"No, you're not. You're sick, Jael. You can't control what's happening in your life." I knew he was right. "Look, I care about you Jael. More then I care about pretty much anyone else. I don't want to see you hurting anymore. It's hurting me." I nodded and sighed.

"I have to do it. I can feel it. But expect me crying for about a week." He chuckled.

"Will do."

I spent the night that night and woke up about every half-hour. By seven o'clock, I decided to just stay up. After I got out of the shower, I did my make up and hair, then grabbed my cigarettes and went on the roof, making sure I walked out quietly so I didn't wake Thomas.

I smoked about four cigarettes, just thinking about everything. Evan called me and told me that we had a meeting with our Producer at 12:00. I went back inside and saw Thomas in the kitchen so I walked in.

"Hey," He said when he turned around and saw me. He gave me a hug then handed me a mug filled with coffee. I put the cream I wanted then we both went to the living room. "Are you feeling any better?"

"Not really."

"What time do you plan on leaving?"

"In a few minutes, actually. I have a meeting at twelve, so I have to leave soon since it's a long drive." He nodded. Once I finished my coffee, I put my mug in the sink then said bye to Thomas. I gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. "Thanks for comforting me, Thomas. You're a good friend."

"Anytime."

I had driven back to the house and made sure my clothes, hair, and make up were fine, then I met the boys at the recording studio. I saw them all in the piano room, sitting at a table by the window with our producer.

"Hey, sorry I'm late." I said as I walked in. "I was spending the night at a friends and he's staying at a hotel like, two hours away."

"It's alright, Jael. As long as you're here now." Howard said. As I took a seat next to Matt, Jesse looked at me and knew something was wrong. He gave me a look and I just shook my head and looked away.

"You're not too late, Jael, which is good because I haven't given the guys the announcement. So," He paused and took something out of a bag but hid it under the desk. "You guys worked extremely hard on this album, and I'm proud to say that it's completely finished." He pulled out our actual, completed album from under the desk and I gasped instantly. Howard handed it to me and I leaned against the table, as the other guys did, and opened the CD case. I flipped through the booklet, and honestly, my eyes began to tear.

"We're finally done now." I said, calmly. "We're a band with an album. How fucking amazing is that?" Everyone laughed. I wiped my tears and hugged Howard. "Thank you for being an amazing producer."

"Of course."

"So when does our album start selling?" Matt asked.

"Well, they're currently in the process of making millions of them. But this album has been actually done for about a week now, so give them a couple more weeks and I'll give you a call the second I found out that they're in stores."

"Okay, that sounds like a plan." Evan said. "Thank you so much Benson." We all thanked him and he walked with us to the door. Evan and Jesse shook his hand, then Matt turned to him with a crazy smile on his face, and he quickly spread his arms out and gave him a tight ass hug. Howard and I laughed.

"Thank you so much. You don't understand how much this means to me." I told him.

"You're welcome. I hope you guys will use me as your producer on your next album."

"Of course."

The guys didn't have a car, so they just took a taxi here. I gave them a ride and instead of dropping them off at their place, we decided to go to Panera. As we were driving, I put my sunglasses on because my eyes watered instantly and a couple tears slid out. I quickly wiped them and thankfully, the guys didn't say anything.

Once we got to Panera, I ordered a coffee and the guys got what they wanted and we all sat down in the booth at the back. I took my sunglasses off and set them on the table.

"Alright Jael, what's going on?" Matt asked. I looked up at him and Evan, and it seemed like they knew something was wrong from the start.

"Umm," I said, my voice sounding shaky. My eyes watered instantly. "I'm gonna break up with Joe." I said simply without looking at any of them, and took a sip of my coffee.

"Why?" I shook my head.

"I'm just too much for him. He thinks he can try and help me, but he can't. I'm just getting worse and worse and even if he could, I never see him cause of our different schedules." I shrugged. "It's just over." My eyes filled with so many tears that I couldn't even see the guys. I blinked and they fell. Jesse gave me a hug and the tears kept on coming.

"You can come and stay over at our place, okay? You know you're welcome anytime." Jesse said.

"I know. Thank you."

We left after about a half hour. I stayed at the guys place for a couple hours, then left to the house around eight. As soon as I walked in, I went into my room and started packing everything. It took a couple hours but I eventually got everything done. I wrote a letter to Joe explaining everything and set it on his bed. I got one suitcase into the car but when I was getting the other, I ran into Joe in the hallway where our rooms were. He looked down at my suitcase then back up to me.

"What's going on?" He asked calmly but I heard some fear in his voice.

"I-" I didn't know what to say. "It's over..Joe."

"What?"

"I wrote you a-a note. It's on your bed, it explains everything. But I have to go." I wouldn't look him in the eye at all and started walking past him. Before I got even nearly close to the steps, he grabbed my arm and turned me back around.

"We need to talk about this."

"We can talk about it later."

"You are leaving me. We need to talk about this now." I sighed and nodded. We walked into his room and he set his things down. I saw how confused and distraught he looked and instantly my eyes watered. "What's going on, Jael?"

"This isn't going to work." I whispered because I didn't want him to hear the pain in my voice. "I just…I'm too much of a hassle to you. I have too many things going on and you can't help me."

"But we can work-"

"No we can't. And you know we can't. I'm not gonna lie to myself anymore and say that it's okay if I bring my burdens upon you because it's not okay. It's not okay at all." I was crying a lot now. "And I'm not gonna let you lie to yourself and say that you can help me because you can't." I noticed Joe's eyes watering. "I love you, Joe. With everything in me, but…this isn't going to work. I'm sorry." I turned around to walk away but he stopped me.

"Is there any way I can change your mind?" I shook my head.

"No. I'm sorry." He walked over to me and pulled my into the tightest hug, and this time I actually hugged him back.

"I still love you, Jael." A whole new wave of tears formed and I started sobbing.

"I love you too." I managed to say. "And I'll always love you. You changed my life in a way that nobody else could and I will never be able to thank you enough. But I have to go now, Joe." I tried pulling away but he wouldn't let go. "Joe," I took in a deep breath. "Please let me go." He slowly pulled away and I saw the tears sliding down his cheeks. "I'm sorry."

I walked out of his room, grabbing my suitcase and going to my car. I put my suitcase in the back seat and as soon as I got in my car, I cried. I cried the whole way to the guys' house. I rang the doorbell and when Evan closed the door, he saw the tears running down my face and pulled me into the tightest hug. He closed the door and hugged me even tighter.

I was sobbing uncontrollably and couldn't stop. Jesse and Matt were sitting in their basement living room and when they saw me, both of them walked up to me, hugged me, and led me to the couch.

All night, I cried. The guys led me to the room they had for me and made sure I laid down. All three of them laid around me and stayed there the whole night with me. I wanted to tell them to go and sleep in their own rooms but I could barely breath. All this crying wasn't just for Joe and they knew that. It was for Charlotte, my mother, my father, and everything else. I was letting everything out for the first time in months. As much as it felt like this huge weight was falling off my shoulders, I felt like Evan, Matt, and Jesse were suffering by trying to make me feel better.

Everything I do makes the people I love in pain. Why can't I just make people happy?