Chapter Twenty-Nine
"So things are finally startin' ta warm up between ye an' William, aye Cap'n?" Gibbs asked between pulls of rum.
Jack smiled knowingly to himself at his first mate's choice of words. "Aye, things 'ave certainly gotten warmer lately," he laughed as he took a sip of water only to frown in disappointment. Since he was now committed fully to giving up his rum, Jack had begun drinking water instead, hoping that he could somehow trick himself by pretending that it tasted like rum. He was wrong of course. He missed the drink, especially since every other man (and woman) on board was able to freely drink to their hearts content. It was maddening to have to sit and watch everyone else enjoy their drink, while he had to keep dry just to please Will.
He frowned as he glanced up at the night sky. The air was warm and the moon and stars were out lighting up the seas. On nights like this, all he wanted to do was drink himself numb and find some pleasurable company, and since Jack couldn't do the former, he would be more than happily do the latter.
"I should go see how Will's doin'," Jack said casually to his first mate.
Gibbs laughed, knowing full and well what Jack was really planing to do. "Good night Cap'n," he chuckled as he downed the rest of his rum.
Jack smiled as he swaggered over towards his cabin, knowing that Will would be inside and most likely preparing himself for sleep. Just as the blacksmith had warned Jack before, he no longer had as much energy as before and slept frequently and for long stretches of time. The pirate was more than willing to let the lad get his rest, but he knew that a quick shag wouldn't hurt too much.
When Jack was mere inches away from his cabin he was surprised to hear voices coming from the other side of the door. Will never allowed anyone except himself and Nathan inside the cabin unless Jack said otherwise, so Jack was surprised to say the least that, at this time of night, someone would actually manage to gain entrance. He frowned as he carefully eased the door open and listened. He was only slightly surprised when he recognized the other voice as belonging to Elizabeth, but the conversation the two were having was what really got him.
"So word around the ship is that you've finally let Jack have his way with you," Elizabeth said teasingly. The pirate could practically hear the smile in her voice.
"Pirates," Will scoffed, most likely rolling his eyes at the comment. "They gossip more than a group of old women!"
"Well, is it true?"
There was a brief silence between the two and Jack had to strain his ears to determine whether or not they were whispering. "Why do you care?" Will asked in a slightly indignant tone.
"I'm just curious!" she said innocently.
There was another, much longer pause this time and Jack could tell that Will, little prude that he is, was considering whether or not to continue this discussion or change the subject completely. "Yes," Will said finally, "it's true."
"How was it?" she asked, this time with more concern in her voice. Just what was this girl getting at?
"Jack's happy isn't he?"
"Well, that's rather obvious. He hasn't stopped grinning since. But I wasn't asking how was it for him, I want to know how it was for iyou/i."
"I don't know," Will said quietly.
"How can you not know? You were there!"
"I know, but... I guess I just wasn't ready to have a physical relationship with him."
"But you slept him, several times," she said bluntly, confusion clear in her voice. "Why did you do it if you weren't ready?"
"You don't understand," he sighed, weariness clear in his tone. "Jack needed me to sleep with him. If he didn't, he'd just keep drinking and drinking and drinking and then I'd have to break our agreement. I'd have to leave him. Our deal, our relationship, can only work if Jack has sex with me. I have to help him break his addiction and if that means sleeping with him before I'm ready then so be it."
Silence fell upon the two and Jack suddenly felt as if he'd been stabbed in the stomach. He had been forcing himself on Will this entire time and he was too wrapped up in his own pleasures to realize the boy didn't want him. It was then that the weak smile Will had given him in bed a few weeks ago made sense. He wasn't worried about his stamina, he just didn't want to sleep with him!
The two talked for a few minutes more, but Jack didn't bother to listen in on the rest. He had heard everything he needed to know. A few minutes later, Jack heard the sound of a chair scrapping across the floor and knew right away that Elizabeth was leaving. He ducked out of site as the young woman passed, not noticing that the pirate was there. As soon as she was completely out of sight, Jack went ahead and slipped back into his cabin.
A sudden storm of guilt and anger began whirling inside of him. He took a very small amount of pleasure when he slammed the cabin door shut, causing the blacksmith to practically jump out of his skin in surprise. The younger man turned to look at him with a look that was more annoyance than actual surprise, yet Jack didn't even flinch.
"Is something wrong?" Will asked, annoyance slowly turning into concern as he took in the other man's appearance.
"I dunno William, is there?"
Will frowned, confusion clear on his face. "What are you talking about?"
"Why were ye talkin' ta Elizabeth 'bout our sex life?" Jack asked bluntly enjoying the way Will's face turned beet red at his words.
"You were eavesdropping?"
"Aye, an' a damn good thin' I was too, otherwise I never would 'ave found out that the idea of havin' sex with me repulsed ye."
Jack watched as the other man's eyes widened, but Jack couldn't tell if it was from shock or outrage. "I said no such thing!"
"But ye did say that ye didn't want ta sleep with me, didn' ye?"
"I..." Will began, but stopped as if he realized that he was backed into a corner. He frowned as he turned away in shame. "I... I'm sorry, but I did what I thought was right."
Jack frowned as he felt his insides slowly turn cold. He had never felt so humiliated in his entire life. "Why didn' ye say anythin' ta me?" he asked, trying his best to keep his anger in check. "Why did ye go an' tell Elizabeth instead? D'ye have any idea how humiliatin' it is ta find out that someone ye love is talkin' 'bout ye behind yer back?"
Will frowned as he turned and gave Jack and indignant look. "Says the man who got a standing ovation after making love to me," Will scoffed.
The pirate felt the corner of his lips tick upward at the memory. It was a very proud day to be Captain Jack Sparrow, but now the news of Will's real feelings about their little encounter had tainted it... just a bit. "Alright, so that was my mistake," he admitted, "but what ye did was much worse."
"I just wanted to help you Jack," Will sighed. "The way you reacted to us leaving... I knew I hurt you, because I had threatened to take something away from you, and losing your drink as well... I saw you struggling and I wanted to help, I wanted to give you something that you were longing for, begging me for. I hoped that, if you got that then you would be motivated to stay sober. I didn't want to lose you."
"Lose me? Will I was never goin' any where."
A weary sigh escaped the blacksmith's lips as he slowly gather his thoughts. "Jack, you and I both know that even if we hadn't had that argument about the children, you would have still be... resentful towards me."
Jack blinked several times in confusion. "What are ye talkin' 'bout?"
"I know you were sneaking drinks behind my back," he explained, "and I think part of the reason for that was because you were frustrated with me. Don't tell me that you didn't curse me for making you go six long months without any... pleasurable company."
Jack suddenly felt like the world's biggest ass. He could hardly believe what he was hearing. The only reason Will slept with him, was because the blacksmith thought, no knew that Jack was subconsciously pressuring him. Looking back at all the times that he had moaned and groaned about Will's lack of affection, he could see that he was really just behaving like a selfish bastard. "Why is it so hard for ye ta do this with me anyway?"
"Because it's wrong," Will said simply. "Because what we do is immoral and against the word of God and decent society... because I hate how good it makes me feel when you touch me or look at me or tell me you love me."
Jack frowned at the pregnant young man's jumbled words. The more Will spoke the more lost Jack felt. "I don' follow," he whispered. "Ye hate the way it makes ye feel, yet ye did it anyway knowin' that ye'd only end up miserable... why?"
"Because I..." he started, only to stop mid way as if the words had suddenly become too hard to say. Will sniffed as he turned away in shame and cradled his swollen stomach brokenly. Jack watched, his heart breaking in half as silent tears began to streak across the younger man's golden cheeks. Will didn't have to speak another word. Jack already knew what had motivated the smith to put himself in such a miserable state.
"Ye don' 'ave ta do this ta yerself, luv," Jack soothed as he closed the distance between the two of them, wrapping his arms around the emotional young man. "Ye don' 'ave ta do anythin' for ole Jackie. I ain't good enough for ye anyway." The two shifted as Will moved to burry his face in Jack's shoulder. "I don' want ye ta do anythin' ye aren't ready fer. Tell ye what whelp, we can take things as slow as ye want. We can wait, til ten years after the baby's born if that's what ye want."
A muffled laugh managed to escape Will's lips and Jack smiled as he rested his head on the smith's shoulder. "I'm sorry Jack," Will sobbed, "I'm so sorry... I was stupid and scared."
"No ye weren't," he sighed as he rubbed soothing circles onto his back. "Ye were jus' bein' selfless, is all."
"I love you Jack."
Jack felt himself freeze up as his breath got caught in his throat. He knew, he knew this whole time, but to finally hear the words out loud... His eyes began to sting and his vision blurred slightly. He tried his best to form words, but his throat was remarkably tight. "I... I know, luv," he managed as he tightened his grip around Will's frame. "I know."
