Don appears in front of the camera. "Last time on Total Drama Couples." Flashbacks of the previous episode started playing. "The guys discussed what to do about Timmy's fairies, and discovered that they can't be GIVEN the win, just extremely good advantages. Then we went to the challenge: throwing balls. Hey, you try writing a fic for this long. Coming up with challenges is hard. Anyway, Light and Kathryn lost, while Sabriel and Kenny won." The scene cut back to Don. "Who will fall out of our final five? Find out now, on Total Drama Couples."
Intro song plays.
"You know, I never thought I'd say this," said Finn. "But I'm sorry that Light is out of the competition."
"Who the hell are you and what have you done with Finn?" demanded Katniss.
"He's right though," said Annabeth. "For as much of an asshole that he was, he did legitimately want to help us this time. Same with Kathryn."
"He was smart," said Artemis. "It was his only respectable quality. Still, I suppose we can manage without him."
"How do you figure?" asked Peter.
"Because we have to," said Artemis.
Chell, who had been sitting off to the side, suddenly jumped up from her spot and fired her portal gun into the bushes behind her, then another one just past the group.
"Damn it," the group heard Louise say from the bushes, as she disappeared through it. Chell then fired the portal over to where she'd just sent Louise, so she couldn't get back through.
"Was she there the whole time?" asked Sabriel. In response, Chell started making a random of movements, from jumping to firing the portal gun to stepping to the side. "Err…I have no idea what that means."
"It means that Chell's not sure how long she was there, but as soon as she realised Louise was there, she portalled her away," said Artemis.
Everyone was silent for a moment before Sabriel spoke up. "You…understood that?" she asked.
"Yep," said Artemis. "Because Chell can't talk, it became necessary for me to find a way to have her communicate with me, so we've been developing a language using whatever methods are available to her…somewhat limited range of abilities."
"Jeez, how long has that been going on?" asked Annabeth.
"Since somewhere near the start of the series," said Artemis.
"And you never bothered to tell any of us this, or help us learn it, because…" started Katniss.
"Because we're still in competition with you," said Artemis. "Come on, I like you guys, but we're still technically rivals here."
"He's right," muttered Finn. "I hate it, but he's right."
"Contestants, to the Mess Hall," said Don over the loudspeakers. "Come on, we're just four challenges and an Aftermath away from finishing this series once and for all."
"Can't believe it's so close already," said Timmy, leading the way to the Mess Hall. "What do you think we should do with the money when we win?"
"You're forgetting something," said Louise. "We haven't won shit yet. Honestly, we're only still here by sheer dumb luck. Not to mention the other four teams are united in stopping us."
"Hey, it was your idea to use the fairies for evil," said Timmy. "Technically, this is on you."
"And technically, you can shut the hell up," said Louise, running off towards the Mess Hall.
"Was it something I said?" asked Timmy.
"Don't worry about it," said Cosmo, appearing out of nowhere. "Girls are weird like that."
"AHEM!" said Wanda loudly.
"Oh no, one of them found us," said Cosmo. "Quick Timmy, run." The two of them took off as quick as possible, leaving Wanda floating behind them.
"Men," muttered Wanda, before following them.
Later, when all the contestants were gathered outside the Mess Hall…
"Mf mf MF?!" asked Kenny, staring at the millions of balloons coming out of the Mess Hall.
"Guess we're recreating Up then?" asked Katniss.
"Are any of us even Disney characters?" asked Timmy.
"Kind of?" said Peter.
"I mean, they own my publisher," said Annabeth.
"And they're bringing my movie out this year," said Artemis.
"None of which has anything to do with today's challenge," said Don, walking onto the scene. "Kids, your challenge is to get as high as possible."
"You're giving us permission to smoke weed?" asked Peter.
"…I'm gonna rephrase that," said Don. "You get half an hour. Whichever team can get the furthest off the ground in that time, using whatever they can get their hands on, wins. As for the balloons…"
"Ours?" asked Sabriel.
"Yours," said Don.
"Sweet," said Sabriel. "All I have to do is tie a bunch of them to Kenny, then hold him on the ground with a…"
"Nope," said Don. "You will be measured from sea level to wherever the lowest point of one of you is."
"Question," said Katniss. "How are me and Finn supposed to get anywhere off the ground?"
"Not my problem," said Don. "Any other questions?"
"Yeah, just one," said Sabriel. "How many balloons is that?"
"A thousand," said Don. "Why?"
"Because the Mythbusters took three and a half thousand to lift a four year old off the ground," said Sabriel. "So, there's no way that one thousand are going to carry me AND Kenny…"
"Don't worry," said Don. "We decided to save some weight by taking an electron off each atom of the helium, making it lighter."
"One, that would make it hydrogen," said Annabeth. "And two: THAT'S NOT HOW SCIENCE WORKS!"
"Okay, off you go," said Don. The ten contestants immediately made their way off to find a way to win.
"So, what's the plan Katniss?" asked Finn.
"Honestly, best I think of is the get to the top of the mountain," said Katniss. "It's the highest point on the island, so it probably isn't the worst place we could pick."
"Right, let's go," said Finn, following her.
Meanwhile…
"I wish we had a hot-air balloon," said Timmy. Cosmo and Wanda's wands started glowing, but nothing was happening. "Guys, I made a wish."
"I know Timmy," said Wanda. "But we haven't charged our wands in a while, and…" Suddenly, the hot-air balloon was sitting in front of them. "Ah, there it is."
"Alright let's do this," said Louise, climbing into the basket, followed by Timmy. A soft thud was heard above them, and Louise pricked her ears up. "What was that?"
"Probably just normal hot-air balloon noises," said Timmy. "Off we go."
Meanwhile…
"Chell, I refuse to believe we'll get enough momentum to get into the air for any great length of time," said Artemis. "Plus, if we're on the downward part when time's up, we lose." In response, Chell grabbed the front of Artemis's shirt, fired two portals at the ground, and jumped through. "I…" Chell fired another portal at the ground, sending them further into the air. "DON'T…" Another portal opened. "LIKE…" Another portal. "THIS!" Another portal.
Meanwhile…
"Okay Kenny, hold on," said Sabriel, as she attached the balloons to them. "I mean, I don't think this is gonna work, but in case it does I don't want you plummeting to the ground. We probably won't have enough time to bring you back."
"Mf mf," said Kenny, cutting the rope holding them to the ground. Immediately, they felt themselves lifting off the ground.
"Holy crap, this is actually working?" asked Sabriel. "Take that, logic and reason. You have no power here in the land of fanfiction."
"Hey guys," said Katniss, standing next to them on the top of the hill.
"Whoa, we must be really flying high," said Sabriel.
"Actually, you're only about four feet of the ground," said Finn. "Seriously, with a bit of effort, we could pull you to the ground and beat you."
"Why don't you?" asked Sabriel.
"We're not assholes," said Katniss. "Plus, it's not like we're gonna los…"
"TIME'S UP CONTESTANTS!" yelled Don. "Ooh, Katniss and Finn, you guys are in trouble, aren't you?"
"You're kidding, right?" asked Katniss, then she saw the current locations of all the other contestants, including Artemis screaming in terror as he and Chell fell past them. "Oh…"
"Yeah, oh," said Don. "A valiant effort, but everyone else just did better. As for our winners…"
"WE FINALLY WON SOMETHING!" yelled Louise.
"What are you talking about?" asked Peter, crawling down from the top of the balloon. "Me and Annabeth have been up here this whole time."
"Oh, are you FUCKING kidding me?" asked Louise.
"No, he is not," said Don, as Peter and Annabeth slid down off the balloon. "So, here's your prize guys."
Annabeth took the box and opened it up. "You're kidding right? Creepy looking clown masks?"
"I got it. Our next challenge is to dress like Juggalos," said Peter.
"God no. I wouldn't hurt you like that," said Don. "…okay, maybe I would, since I actually draw the line at furries."
"Gee, nice to know we're appreciated," said Annabeth under her breath.
"I know," said Don. "By the way, Finn, Katniss, the Lame-o-sine doesn't do great on hills, so can you go down there and get picked up by it?"
"Jeez, the show's too lazy to do our elimination," said Katniss, leading Finn down the mountain.
"Hey, I have more important things to do," said Don. "Like close the show with the question: who's going home next as we work our way through the final four? Find out next time, on Total Drama Couples."
