Chapter 4


No way. You are not giving her your name, you don't trust her.

You refuse to give her the satisfaction of using something else to torment you with.

You shake your head in defiance. If she's going to kill you or something, then you'll just make her miserable while doing so.

She looks off to the side and emits a sound akin to sighing. Hah, you will not make this easier for her.

"Oh, that's sad. Your parents never gave you a name. You poor pathetic thing."

She is really trying to tick you off, but you merely shook your head violently. She looked down to you with feigned surprise.

"Oh! Your adoptive parents never gave you a name. That's even more tragic," she cooed.

She looks up to the ceiling as she turns to the right this time.

"You know, I once knew of another homicidal mute orphan that was once a test subject here," she said.

You can't tell if she's lamenting or reminiscing.

Either way, the tone makes you shiver internally.


"Oh well," she said in her usual flat tone.

Apparently, whatever happened to them didn't end well.

"I'll have to take it upon myself to give you a name then. Human, your identification is Test Subject #105312.

Huff and puff your way into the elevator as I begin briefing you on the testing procedures."

The elevator tube reappeared in the chamber and the door slid open for you to enter.

Placing your hands on your hips, you start to walk around the AI Chamber, looking at the various panels closely.

You turn back every so often to see GLaDOS, you deduced is her acronym name, facing you, swaying side to side in a somewhat anxious manner.

After you took a good look around the chamber and getting near GLaDOS again just to inspect around her closely, you walked off towards the elevator.

You stopped and turned around to give her nod before entering the elevator.


As soon as the elevator closed, she said as you turned around, "And by 'briefing' I meant beginning at once in a test chamber by plopping you in.

Like a balloon filled with lard."

The elevator then began descending.

Once you were out of sight from her, you rolled your eyes at another jab at your weight.

You came to a room just like before that's cylindrical that leads upstairs to a closed door. Once the elevator stopped, GLaDOS begins speaking again as you leave the elevator.

"Before we begin any proper testing, you will be required to run these simple, non-lethal test chambers as a trial run for compatibility to perform these tests without any discrepancies."

Hello Redundant Department of Redundancy, you thought mockingly as you stepped through the door and into the testing chamber.

Wait, why did she have to point out that the chamber was non-lethal?

It was a very simple small room with a giant floor button to your left and a metal cube to your right.


To the top right corner of the wall you're facing with the closed exit door, there's a camera trained in your direction.

"Due to the nature of this preliminary testing procedure, I am permitted to direct you in completing this chamber.

Please place the Weighted Storage Cube on the Fifteen Hundred Megawatt Aperture Science Heavy Duty Super-Colliding Super Button."

You stood for a minute, waiting for her to say anything else.

Is she mental right now? That metal box thing looks heavy!

Still, maybe if you show her that you may not be able to test properly, she'll let you go.

On the other hand, there's no telling if she'll set you free to the surface…or set you free from this life.

You swallowed hard and proceeded to walk towards the 'Weighted Storage Cube' as she calls it.

You bend to pick it up, anticipating its heaviness, but it's actually a lot lighter than it looks.

You walk across the room slowly and dropped the cube onto the button. That was easy.

The button detected the new sensation of pressure and activated the exit door. Must be a sensitive button because it looks hard to press.

"I like my humans how humans like their steak: well done," said GLaDOS upon the exit door opening.


A chill ran up and down your spine when she said that.

She has a rather twisted sense of humor, you thought as you walked out of the door and into another elevator room.

"Hey, remember what number I gave you as your Test Subject Identification Number?" You paused before getting into the elevator to really think about it.

Before you could give it any deep thought though, she reminded, "105312, it's Leet speak."

It just dawned on you. You walked into the elevator and it started to descend once the door is closed. You already know where this was going.

"Basically, Leet speak is the form of communication in which alphabet letters are replaced with numbers.

105312 spells out the word 'loser'.

The one is an L, the zero is an O, the five is an S, the three is an E, and finally the one-two forms an R.

I thought it'd be nice to tell you that."


Yep. What a gal.

Turn to page 4.