.
An Unlikely Match
XXVIII
"Caroline," Klaus announced as he entered her house that Saturday morning.
It had been a week since he moved out and true to his word he was there with her all the time. He even slept at her place more than he slept at his mother's, making his point harder for her to understand. She thought he wanted space, but she couldn't understand he just needed to know he still had his space instead of their space.
"What are you doing here?" she came from the kitchen, a mug of coffee in hand.
"Did I say or did I not say I would take you to work every day?" he asked before kissing her softly.
"Yes, and while I appreciate that you've kept your word every day of the week, you're not on call today, only me,"
"And if I still lived here I would have been awake, just like you, and I would have offered to give you a ride just the same,"
"No, you wouldn't. You only took me to the hospital on your day off once and that was because I was too tired to drive according to you," she protested.
"So maybe this is just an excuse for me to be with you for a few minutes before you're twelve hours away from me,"
"No, that's an excuse for you to use your new car," Klaus grinned widely.
"I do admit that was one of the best purchases in my life. Besides, my old car was in desperate need of being retired for good,"
"Your old truck wasn't that bad, and I still can't believe you paid so much for that car,"
"I didn't want the trust fund, but there are only so many times you can say no to your parents. If they want me to have the money so bad, I'll have it. It'll help me to show you everything I love and that I'm sure you'll love as well. Food, art, culture, music,"
"And where does a sports car enter the equation?"
"I suppose I can amuse myself a little bit?"
"I suppose you can, but don't use me as an excuse to drive your new ride,"
"Actually I have a surprise for you tomorrow,"
"You know I hate surprises!"
"You hate not knowing what they're going to be,"
"This is exactly the reason why I hate surprises!"
"You're just a control freak, love. But I'll be a good boyfriend and I'll give you this: I have dinner reservations for us at seven. Don't worry about what you're going to wear or where we're going. Just make sure you step out of your bathtub at five-thirty and we'll be good,"
"You didn't!" she protested, although the big smile on her face betrayed her.
"Of course I did, now hurry up otherwise you'll be late and I'm here to make sure you don't get on Serena's bad side,"
"I didn't finish my breakfast yet,"
"And that doesn't surprise me; you'll eat while I drive,"
"You're going to allow me to eat in your hundred-thousand dollar car?"
"Did you miss the point that I love you more than anything else, even my Aston Martin?"
"No, it's just really weird that you come from not having money to get new tires for your old truck, to buying a car that's basically a Ferrari!"
"It's not a Ferrari, love, not even close, now let's go," he helped with her food as they walked out of her house.
"You really have an eye for beautiful places," Stefan offered as he accompanied Rebekah to one of the houses she selected for her mother to check in Belford.
"It's good taste, you either are born with it, or you're not," she shrugged as they walked through the empty house. "This is my favorite; I hope mother chooses this one,"
"Won't you and Kol live in the apartment?"
"Yeah, but I know I'll spend a lot of time here as well, this neighborhood is beautiful, I'm sure I can take great pictures around here," she said with a smile stamped on her face, as she scanned the area around the backyard's porch.
"I'm happy you're being positive about all this," he offered softly.
"Do I really have any other option, Stefan? I've been a vegetable for ten years, I don't want to spend another ten being incapable of doing what a healthy person my age should be doing,"
"You're a very brave woman, Rebekah Mikaelson," he said, reaching for her shoulder and stopping her from re-entering the house.
"And you're a very confusing man, Stefan Salvatore," she said frustrated, getting inside quite quickly.
"And why is that?" he asked as he followed her inside
"Because you spend all this time with me, you keep complimenting me, you have a significant role in my newly acquired confidence to face my demons, and still you don't make a move," she threw her hands in the air walking towards the front door.
"I didn't know a move was expected,"
"Maybe it isn't. I've missed a lot while I was sleeping with my eyes open, and I guess girl/boy dynamics is one of those things. It's just back in my time it was rather suspicious when a guy invested so much time in a girl, without any second intentions," she offered almost shyly, stopping a few feet away from the front door.
"I'm your friend,"
"And I assume you're also Caroline's friend, right?"
"Yes, of course,"
"And do you compliment her as much? Did you spend as much time with her when her married ex-boyfriend broke up with her, or when her mother died hating her?"
"How do you know that stuff?"
"You forget I spent a few days in the Presbyterian… and you're deflecting,"
"No, I don't compliment any of my other friends as much as I compliment you, and I definitely don't spend as much time with them,"
"Then why is it that I am still only a friend?" she looked away, preparing herself for the rejection.
"Have you always been this bold?" he chuckled
"Is that yet another compliment?"
"It is," he said locking his eyes with her as they stood in the middle of the house's living room.
"The question is are you?" her voice was soft and low, and she couldn't stop herself from stealing a glance at his lips.
"No, I'm not," he mirrored her actions and tone.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have implied…" she started to apologize, but was stopped by his index finger sealing her lips.
"But you're a great influence," he said before replacing his finger with his lips.
That night it was only the Mikaelsons in their home. Klaus went to the hospital and took Caroline home, but decided against sleeping there again. Rebekah had been giving him an earful for losing a potential studio so he would have a bedroom he didn't even use.
Esther watched amused as her grown children argued while they watched some movie on TV. It was nice to have the two of them again. They had always been close and it was no surprise to her that what happened to Rebekah had led them both to lose their paths for over a decade. There was nothing Esther cherished more than her two blond children bickering as they used to do when they were young.
"Keep your voice down, dears. Sage has already retired to bed," the matriarch reprehended them.
"He started—" Rebekah promptly protested.
"I'm trying to watch a movie, but you won't shut it," Klaus retorted.
"So how about you both decide to give your sister-in-law the chance she needs to rest? She's almost thirty weeks along, trust me, she feels like she's ready for these baby girls to be here, but she still has ten more weeks to go. Don't be rude, that's not the education I gave both of you,"
"Fine," they answered together, Klaus rolling his eyes while Rebekah pouted, crossing her arms in front of her chest.
Not much later Esther bid them good night and decided to go to bed as well.
The movie was long, and tired from the week of work Klaus fell asleep, while Rebekah kept her eyes glued to the screen. She had a lot of catching up to do with movies, music, TV shows, and social networks among other things, and she was forcing her family to go through it with her.
The movie ended a little bit before midnight and seeing how her brother was lightly snoring, she decided to take a blanket and cover him, instead of waking him up from such a deep slumber to force him to use the bedroom he refused to spend the night in, for one reason or the other.
She wasn't that sleepy yet, and daydreaming about the afternoon she spent with Stefan in Bedford, she went through some TV channels until she found something that sparkled her attention, though her mind was really on the green-eyed doctor.
It was already one in the morning, and the youngest Mikaelson finally had her attention captured by some reality show. She couldn't believe they were still such a thing, and much less admitting that she actually liked it. They were much worse than ten years ago, but that didn't stop her from wanting to learn more and more about those people that were willing to showcase their lives for everyone to see.
But then Klaus started talking in his sleep and she frowned. She was about to smack him awake when she realized he was sweating, and becoming disturbingly unquiet in his sleep.
Soon his voice raised and he was yelling although his eyes were yet to open. She panicked, not knowing what to do or how to help, and she was about to go to her mother room's to get her when Esther entered the TV room.
"What's going on?" the elder asked as she watched her son twisting his body around on the spacious couch.
"I don't know. He murmured some, and then it became louder and louder and he's sweating and I don't know if we should wake him up or not," Rebekah explained as her mother watched Klaus concerned.
"We should wake him up; it must be a nightmare,"
"Nobody has nightmares like that mom,"
"Call Caroline,"
"It's one in the morning,"
"She must know what this is," Esther approached Klaus, touching his forehead, trying to soothe him without waking him up.
Rebekah was yet to reach the houseline when Klaus suddenly woke up, confused and angry.
"Bekah, please," he said, pain and desperation laced in his tortured voice, his eyes distant and equally tortured.
"I'm here, Nik, I'm right here," she approached him quickly, her eyes filled of tears.
"If you touch her again, I'll kill, you killed my baby sister. You killed her," he yelled loudly, and just then both Rebekah and Esther knew what was happening. Rebekah knew all about PTSD and Esther had learned a lot about it while having one daughter suffering from it for ten years. She had no idea her middle son had the same problem.
"Nik, he didn't kill me, I'm here, brother, I'm not going anywhere," she said crying, reaching his hand and squeezing really hard.
"Rebekah!" he exclaimed, but it was clear to both women he was yet to awake completely from his illusions.
"It's me," she offered, cupping his face with her hands. "It's okay, Nik. You brought me back," she completed, looking hopelessly to her mother.
"Niklaus, it's okay, darling, everything is fine. The nightmare it's over," Esther's soft voice seemed to reach him and blinking a few times, he was finally aware of his surroundings, although he didn't recognized the place at first.
"Mother? Baby?" he looked between the two other blondes.
"We are here, Nik," Rebekah cried, throwing her arms around her brother, hugging him tightly.
"Bekah!" he wrapped his arms around her shaking figure, holding onto her for dear life.
"Oh Nik, why have you never told us any of this?" his sister asked.
"It's okay, Niklaus, she's here. She's headed to the life she deserves, your baby sister is back," his mother continued to reassure him.
"I'm so sorry I failed you, baby sister,"
"You couldn't have predicted it, I don't blame you. I never have, and I never did. I want you to let the guilt go. It was… it's only… his fault. You were doing what any other boy your age would be doing at a party,"
"She's right, Niklaus. No one could have predicted what happened and you certainly didn't think while you were with some girl, that a soulless man would try to kill your sister,"
"Thank you," he said quietly, breaking apart from Rebekah, leading Esther to take her daughter's place, physically comforting her son.
The previous day Klaus had agreed to take Caroline to have lunch with his family, and from the moment he stepped in her house she noticed something was off. He was quieter than usual, and he seemed more tired than usual as well.
They took advantage of the empty house and decided to have sex far from his family's prying ears and from Caroline's new roommates.
Bonnie and Stefan were going to move in again the following weekend. Stefan was happy with the timing, as Rose was basically living with him and Damon. He knew they had plans to keep both their houses – Damon's flat in Manhattan and Rose's house in the Hamptons, but the baby was going to need a nursery soon, and Damon's apartment only had two bedrooms. Bonnie was also happy to move out from the terrible apartment she had been living in, and excited to live with her coworkers again.
Caroline was happy to have them moving back. She had gotten used to having a crowded house, and had really hated spending the past week almost all by herself. When Klaus wasn't there she felt like the place was dead, and she knew her friends would at least cheer her up.
The blond couple was lying in her bed, recovering from their tryst, and even then Caroline could tell Klaus was being reserved.
"Is everything okay, honey?" she asked, stroking his soft hair, while she rested her head on his chest.
"I had another episode," he confessed easily, although his tone was dry. Caroline had his complete trust and he didn't plan on hiding anything from her anymore.
For a moment she didn't know what to say. It had been so long since he had an episode. As far as she could remember, he hadn't had one- not even once -since Rebekah had been released from the hospital.
"I'm so sorry, Nik," she held him closer to her body.
"I don't think they'll ever be gone for good,"
"Don't think like that!" she protested immediately, "You've spent months without having a problem. They will go away, it's a good thing you're living with Rebekah now. She'll be in the room next door and she's okay. She's great actually. Stefan said she's making a lot of plans for her future, everything is finally fine,"
"But the memories won't go away. She was half-dead when I found her," the images flashed again in his mind and she noticed how he was getting agitated.
"Hey, push them away. I'm here; we'll meet your sister in an hour. I know she's been through a lot. All of you have, but now things are finally settling and they'll stay like that," she said before kissinghis chest.
"She also has PTSD issues, and she said her doctor is helping a lot, maybe I should get an appointment with him,"
"I think that's a great idea," a pause lingered in the air.
"I miss you," he confessed, in what at first seemed like a change in the subject.
"I miss you, too," she kissed his chest again.
"You're my peace, Caroline. You've changed my life in so many ways, you have no idea, and I wish I was ready to be the man you deserve me to be, to live in this house with you, only the two of us,"
"And I wish we were there as well, but things are better this way. Why risk moving things too fast if we have all time in the world? It's not like I'm pregnant and we need to have a shotgun wedding,"
"I'm such a lucky man," he looked at her with worship in his eyes.
"And I'm a lucky woman. I know it will get better, Nik. Everything will. You, Rebekah, myself, and our relationship. Everything will work out in the end," she offered along with one of her unmistakable Caroline Forbes' smiles that he still thought lit up the entire room, but especially his heart.
"I love you," he said, feeling like he needed to say it otherwise he would explode.
"I love you, too,"
"Let's take a shower, we'll spend the day with my family and then I'll bring you here for you to get ready for our date,"
"Any big announcements today?" she teased, leading him to smirk.
"No, I just want to show my girlfriend how much I love her and how much I appreciate her. I was broke when you met me, and it's time for me to make up not only for the lack of money I had to treat you as you deserved, but also my inexperience in the subject,"
"I don't need anything fancy, Nik. We could eat hotdogs at Central Park and I would still be happy,"
"And that's one of the many reasons why I love you,"
"So don't worry about showing me the world, and all of its art, culture, food and good music,"
"I'm happy you were paying attention yesterday, even though you use it to mock my efforts,"
"I'm not mocking you,"
"Elijah told me he and Katherine set up a date for July, I was thinking maybe we should travel after the wedding, what do you think?"
"Where?"
"Anywhere you want, Paris, Rome, Tokyo," he said, chuckling in the last suggestion.
"Three weeks aren't enough to take a tour of the world,"
"How about we start with Paris and London? I want to take you to my city, show you my favorite places there,"
"I would love that," she answered honestly. Even though her mother had made a lot of money, Caroline never had a chance to go anywhere except going to study. During her vacations she took courses her mother suggested, and sometimes she traveled to Florida and California. But that was about it. She wanted to know the world and she knew with the career she chose, she would have to take the rare opportunities when she indeed had a break.
"It's settled then, now what do you say about a shower and then we head to my mother's before Rebekah starts calling our phones?"
"Perfect," she smiled, kissing him lazily as they stayed a few more minutes in the bed.
Katherine had avoided this moment as much as she could, but there was only so much she could do to postpone breaking Elijah's heart. And she knew she would. She knew her fiancé well enough to know that he would never accept what she was going to propose, but it didn't mean she would do it any differently.
"We need to talk," she said as they watched a movie, Sunday afternoon. They had had lunch with his family and had come back to their flat only an hour ago.
"Now?" he asked, really interested in what he was watching.
"Yes, I've avoided this for long enough, I can't continue doing it," she admitted nervously, and he immediately caught the change in her demeanor.
"What happened, darling?" he asked, after he turned the TV off.
"I'm pregnant and I've scheduled an appointment to terminate the pregnancy," she said bluntly, leading Elijah to become speechless for a while.
"I'll go to the clinic tomorrow," she added a couple of minutes later when he still said nothing.
"And this is how you choose to communicate the news to me, just like that? The father of your child, your fiancé?" he asked, still too shocked to think straight.
"It's my decision to make, Elijah," she said with finality, leading him to stay quiet for even longer, only this time she didn't interrupt.
"If you go there tomorrow you don't need to come back," his voice was cold and detached of any emotions.
"Elijah, it's my body and my will. You can't force me to have a baby!" she protested, a sharp pain radiating from inside her.
"And this baby is my flesh and blood and you have no problem killing it," his tone raised, and she actually backed away slightly. It was so unusual to see him unrestrained.
"I can't do it, Elijah. You know I've never wanted to be a mother, I'm not cut out to be one,"
"And I accepted that decision, but this is completely different,"
"It shouldn't be,"
"The fact that you can't see the difference almost makes me think I don't know you at all,"
"Elijah, I can't do it, I simply can't,"
"Neither can I, Katherine. I can respect your wish to not become a mother, but I can't accept you want to kill my daughter or son,"
"Would you rather have it than me?" she found her eyes getting teary.
"There shouldn't have to be a choice, Katherine. If you reconsider your decision I'll overlook it, I'll forgive you,"
"Forgive me? You're asking me to give up my free will, the right to choose what I may do to my own body. You're taking away my choice and you think you are the one forgiving someone here?"
"If there was a way for me to have my body carry it to term or someone else's, believe me, I wouldn't ask you to sacrifice yours,"
"So what? From night to day I became your surrogate?"
"No, but this time tomorrow you could be a murderer. You took an oath, you promised to save lives, to do no harm and still you're going tomorrow to some practice to kill our baby,"
"I'm not even six weeks pregnant, Elijah, how does that make me a murderer?"
"The medicine may say it's just a bunch of cells forming a fetus, but it already has a soul, it already has feelings such as rejection. You have a life inside of you now,"
"One that, although isn't fully developed yet, is already more important than me,"
"No one would ever be more important to me than you, Katherine. But you have to understand you're asking me to condone you killing a person, someone we created together, out of love,"
A moment of silence passed between them, and Katherine could feel the tears dropping from her eyes.
"My decision is made, Elijah, I won't change my mind," she said, and he sighed, fighting tears that were threatening to fall.
"I won't either. I'll stay with my mother until you find somewhere else to live," he said with finality before he walked out of the living room.
The moment the door clicked, showing he had indeed left her, Katherine felt her strength leave her and she sobbed bitterly. Just like that she felt like her life was over and nothing else matter. Not even the decision that cost her it all.
Caroline couldn't believe it. When Klaus came in the morning he used his keys and she thought he had gone straight to her bedroom. As he expected she was still sleeping and she was completely surprised when he instructed her to check his old bedroom before she got ready, saying there was a surprise for her there.
And surprised she was. Never in a million years had she thought he would have given himself the task of looking for a dress and shoes for their date. And not just any dress, but the perfect dress. It was a light blue Vera Wang satin strapless dress, with an A line skirt that went until her knees. She felt like a princess in the feminine attire that had a few rhinestones spread across the bodice. Nothing too flashy, just something beautiful and classy. She had spent ten minutes admiring the dress before taking her shower and then another ten after she put it on. Which meant she was running late. She still had to put on makeup and Klaus would be there any minute. The Christian Louboutin pumps were also perfect, and she wondered if Rebekah or his mother helped him somehow. She looked like a model and felt like a princess.
She was putting on foundation when her phone buzzed. It was him, of course.
I'm sure you're late, I'm not, but I don't mind waiting. I'm in the driveway.
She read, and she noticed it was already six-thirty and she knew they had to leave soon. She hoped he had reservation in Manhattan; otherwise they would be late and maybe even lose it. She finished her makeup quickly, and spraying on a little bit of his favorite perfume, she left to meet him outside.
The moment she opened the front door and turned to walk towards him, Klaus' jaw dropped. She looked absolutely stunning and that was the first thing he said as soon as he met her outside the passenger's door, kissing her lightly in the lips.
"You look breathtaking, sweetheart, a vision,"
"Thanks to you, I suppose? Didn't know you were into fashion,"
"I'm not, but aesthetics is something that is part of my world,"
"Are you telling me you chose the dress and the shoes?" she asked, as he opened the door for her to get inside.
"Of course I did, although I wasn't too confident about the shoes, but I think they work with the dress,"
"They're perfect," she checked the silver pumps again, while he entered the car.
"There's something else, but I didn't want it to be in my old bed," he offered with a bright grin.
"Who are you and what have you done with my badass boyfriend?"
"Here," he handed her the rectangular velvet box.
"Nik…"
"Don't worry; I didn't spend anything on this one. It's a family piece,"
"And that's supposed to release the pressure," she took the dark blue box in her hands, yet to open it.
"There are so many pieces in the family. Mother told me Finn already took many for Sage and Elijah took a couple for Katherine as well,"
"But they're married and engaged!"
"Caroline, don't doubt for a second how committed I am in this. I'm here for the long haul, I'm here for as long as you'll have me, and if that's a lifetime, then I'll be the happiest man on earth. I know it's going to be challenging, and that I'm not ready for many things, that I'll fail you a lot in the process, but I can't see my life without you in it,"
"I don't know what to say,"
"How about you open it, put it on and I drive us? We are on verge of being late,"
She kissed him in the cheek lightly, moving her thumb to clean the gloss stain she left. Taking a deep breath to calm her nerves, she finally opened the box, revealing a beautiful diamond bracelet.
"Oh my God," she exclaimed, her free hand moving to cover her open mouth.
"Here, let me fasten it for you," he offered, reaching the jewel and clasping it around her wrist.
"Perfect," he offered, while Caroline still had her free hand against her lips.
"This is beautiful, Nik, I don't have words," she said, before wrapping her around him, "Thank you,"
"It's my pleasure, love, now let's go otherwise we'll miss our reservations," he pecked her on the lips before turning the engine on.
Caroline was scared when she heard her best friend crying copiously on the phone and she couldn't arrive at Elijah's place any faster. She was in the middle of her dinner with Klaus who was wonderful to her, understanding that it must have been something really serious if Katherine was in the state his girlfriend described while the waiter closed their tab. She apologized insistently and promised she would make it up to him. He simply kissed her lips and said seeing her in a beautiful dress, with one of his family's jewels, was more than he could ask for.
Caroline kissed him quickly, and entered the building, biting her cheek wondering what could have happened to Katherine.
When the brunette opened the door for her, Caroline couldn't recognize the woman in front of her. Everyone was used to seeing Katherine perfectly dressed, with magnificent curls and flawless makeup. Of course, sleeping over each other's places so many times and even sharing the same roof briefly gave Caroline a chance to see Katherine looking normal, human as she used to say, but her friend was now a shell of a woman. She was completely broken, her eyes swollen and red, her hair a mess, her makeup stained, but it was the lost look in her eyes that told Caroline something tragic had happened.
"What happened? Where's Elijah?" the blond asking, as she hugged her friend, feeling Katherine's body shaking against hers.
"He left," Katherine's voice was barely a whisper, broken and lifeless.
"What?" Caroline asked, not believing what her ears were hearing.
"I'm pregnant, I have an appointment tomorrow to terminate it," and if it was possible, Caroline was even more shocked.
"How did it happen?" Caroline asked, although that's not what she meant.
"Isn't it obvious? I'm so broken, so damaged, so damned and such a terrible person, that I deny the man I love the only thing he had ever asked of me. I prefer to become a murderer than to have a life that I can say I created," Katherine turned around, almost robotically, sitting on the couch she had been crying on since she gathered strength to call Caroline.
The blue-eyed girl reached the door behind her, closing it, before she sat by her best friend.
"It's your body, Katherine, no one should dictate what you do with it," Caroline tried to be supportive, although she didn't approve of abortion herself, but her friend needed that – a friend – not someone to make her feel even worse.
"I lost him, Care. I lost him for good. The one good thing that ever happened to me. I lost him because I'm too messed up to be what every woman is born to be. Women all around the world have become mothers since the big bang, but Katherine Pierce is too fucked up to do what's the most primal instinct in a female,"
"Katherine, it's not that simple and you know it. Not everyone wants to become parents," she offered, remembering briefly her own boyfriend didn't want it either.
"I've always thought I didn't want it either. But it's been a week since I found out and although I have done nothing but planned its… dismissal, there's a part of me that… a part of me…" Katherine tried to conclude her thoughts, but her sobs prevented her from saying another word.
"Hey, hey, take a breath, I'm right here with you, we'll figure it out together, like we always do, okay?" she tried to calm the brunette down, but her words really didn't reach Katherine. This was different. She had never felt so vulnerable and lost as in that moment. Not even when her father abused her as a child and teenager. This was a whole new level of exposure and pain, and she didn't know what to do.
"I'm not abandoning you now, Kat. We will figure it out. I will help you and I will support you whatever you decide to do," Caroline reassured feeling as her friend didn't react as she expected. Actually Katherine didn't react at all.
"How far along are you?"
"Almost six weeks,"
"Which means you still have time to decide. I'm going to spend the night and tomorrow first thing in the morning we'll call your doctor and let them know you're not going, that you need more time to think,"
"There's nothing left to think, Caroline. I lost him. I lost the only man that ever loved me, the only man that ever respected me, the only man that trusted me. I lost him because I didn't love him enough, I didn't respect him enough and I proved myself not to be trustful,"
"I can't imagine what you're going through now, but you can't make this decision only to please him, Kat. You'll end up resenting your child and it may cause even more damage between the three of you," Caroline offered, although she really didn't know if what she said was the right thing to say or not. One part of her wanted to say she shouldn't make a decision about her body, future and life because of someone else, but then what was love about? Did Katherine really have a right to decide all by herself what they should do about the baby? Shouldn't Elijah also have a say, even if he wasn't the one taking the pregnancy to term in his body? Shouldn't the love he felt for Katherine make him supportive of her decision? Shouldn't he understand that something like that would change her life forever in more ways than anyone could count or explain?
It was a mess and although she knew she shouldn't think of her own relationship with Klaus now, Caroline finally comprehended that maybe he was right after all. Maybe a disagreement about parenthood was more important than she thought.
"There's nothing left to be damaged. There's nothing left at all,"
"Are positive you really want to terminate the pregnancy?"
Katherine couldn't bring herself to say the words, so she simply shook her head weakly.
"And is that only because of him?" Caroline asked softly, and by the way Katherine avoided her eyes, she knew there was more than the brunette's fear of losing Elijah for good.
"What's the other part of you been telling you, Kat?"
The brown-eyed woman simply shook her head, crying harder.
"Okay, we won't talk about it anymore, why don't we get ready to sleep, huh? I'll help you clean up and tomorrow we call the practice and once you have it figured out you call them again, okay?"
"I want to not want it, Care," Katherine finally admitted. "There's this strong, powerful, untamable force or something inside me that makes me… love it,"
"Oh, Kat," Caroline hugged her friend again, rubbing her hair, as she felt Katherine slightly rocking their bodies forth and back.
"I can't be completely unattached, Caroline. I want to; I want to stick with my plans. I've never wanted this and timing couldn't have been worse, but at the same time… now that it's here… I feel like… I can't explain. It goes against everything in me, against all choices I made, and it could ruin my career. At first I felt like I wanted to want it because I knew how Elijah would react, even before I told him, but then the days passed, and the stupid doctor had to explain to me everything that was going on, explain each of my options, and he gave me some stupid brochure and I read it," she talked almost hysterically, and taking a deep breath she continued.
"And then the fight suddenly changed. Then I didn't have to fight to want it, I had to fight to make the decision I know I should do. The termination is what I should do, and I shouldn't allow Elijah or anyone else to talk me out of it because it's my decision alone. But if I'm really honest about it, the connection, the feelings, the attachment was there even before Elijah threatened to leave me if I carried on with my decision. And for a moment I thought he's a jerk by trying to force his way like that, but then the damned part rose again and that part can understand his reasons, that part supports him not because I'm afraid of losing him, but because it agrees with him.
I agree with him, Caroline, but I can't bring myself to go ahead with this pregnancy. I don't want to resent this baby, I don't want it to go through everything I did… everything you did or Klaus did," Katherine confessed and while the blond had a lot of things to say while she heard her friend, when the brunette finally concluded Caroline found herself at lack of words.
"And I'm not going to lie, Care, I won't recover, I know I can't recover from losing him so I guess I'm destined to lose everything either way," she broke the silence a few moments later.
"Are you sure that's what you won't be able to recover from, Kat?"
"As much as l love my career and my life plans, and I think I can't recover from giving them up, I don't know if that's really true,"
"You can't be sure a baby would jeopardize your career or life, Kat. You may plan a lot of things, but you can't say if they're going to really happen as you wished, baby or no baby, but that's not the part I'm talking about,"
"But that's all I have to lose, Care. It's either Elijah or my dreams and my career. I don't think I can have both at the moment, and I know if I lose him I won't have the rest either, but that shouldn't be the reason for me to decide to carry on with the pregnancy. A broken heart and a mediocre career shouldn't be why I decide to become a mother. Even I can say that is wrong on so many levels,"
"No, Kat, I don't think you stopped to think about a third loss that you may not recover from,"
"And what that would be?"
"Your child. The baby you created with the man you love. Are you sure a day, a month, a year, a decade from now you will be able to face yourself knowing you got rid of your baby with Elijah? That this part that is bothering you now won't take over and you will carry a weight that is heavier than you can hold? That you won't feel like… your father somehow?" Caroline reluctantly added the last part, but she couldn't not address it. She knew that although Katherine was still fighting it, the maternal instinct, the love, the affection for the baby were already there, and at some point maybe her guilt would lead her to believe she did something similar to what her father did to herself, although the two things couldn't be comparable. But Caroline remembered the day Katherine said what her father did was against every natural rule, against the most natural feeling of nurturing: parenthood love. Getting an abortion now could someday mean the same to the broken brunette in front of her.
Katherine felt like the air couldn't reach her lungs anymore. It seemed like her heart had stopped at her best friend's words. But she finally had the answer she needed. She finally understood it all.
AN.: I'm sorry for the time it took me to write this chapter. As you can see some very sensitive subjects are handled in it and I wanted to make sure I did it right. I wanted to make sure *I* wasn't picking a side in Kalijah debacle. I tried to show both of their povs the best I could and I wanted to make sure that if Katherine changed her mind it wasn't because Elijah abandoned her because of, but because she felt differently about it.
There's also Stebekah, finally! I'm so happy to have reached this point in this story. I feel happy and accomplished :P
But all good things come to an end and I think there will be just a couple more chapters before the epilogue and I don't know when the next chapter will be up. I already started it and have plenty of it written, but still a lot to write. Kalijah's outcome is next and I want to continue to try to give my best writing it as it's a very complicated subject. I know some of you will support her and others will support him. There's also Rebekah's past that will be handled with and the many babies to be delivered, starting with Sage's. Maybe two more chapters won't be enough :P
I want to thank my amazing beta, Erin, for doing a great job as usual with my story. She's really amazing.
Thanks a lot for the reviews in the previous chapter. I hope you're still there with me and I hope to read from you.
Have a nice weekend!
Babi
