Title: One of Those Moments

Pairing: THIS IS IMPORTANT. There is no specified pairing for this, so I'm going to ask you to close your eyes and think of your favorite ship. Got one in mind? Kay, good. Now think of the girl in the relationship- mhmm, you got one? Good. Now read the one-shot, and picture it in that person's POV.

Prompt: a very depressing one-shot I recently read. D:

Genre: finally, a one-shot that I can actually genre-ify. ANGST. FO' SURE.

Song: "Amnesia" by 5sos, even thought it hardly goes with the one-shot. -.-

Warnings: thoughts of suicide, thoughts of worthlessness, depression. Nothing huge, though.

Word Count: 1,090

Do you ever have one of those moments when...

When nothing matters anymore?

When it seems as if every good thing has been forcefully torn from your life, from the life you used to actually enjoy?

That moment when you glance around at the emotional wreckage that used to be your heart, and you wonder why you haven't noticed all the demons and the fire and the heartbreak sooner. You wonder if maybe they were there all along.

You wonder if there's even the smallest chance of getting rid of them and being happy.

And then you quickly dismiss the thought, because the only person in the entire universe who would have been able to do that for you, would have been able to get rid of the heartbreak, would have been able to make you happy again...

He doesn't want to.

And you sit there on the bed, the one you've been crying on ever since he left, and you scold yourself mentally for even thinking about him because you're too exhausted and defeated to actually scold yourself out loud. And you bury your face in your tear-stained pillow while you try to bury all thoughts of him in the back of your mind, because you know, you are absolutely certain, that you will never forget him, and so pushing him to the back of your mind is the next best thing.

And then you scoff at yourself because you know you aren't even capable of pushing him to the back of your mind. You'll always be thinking about him, you won't stop thinking about him until he comes back to you.

And he'll never come back to you, so that last sentence was actually pretty redundant.

And you push your tear-streaked, memory-stained pillow aside. You push yourself off your bed, you stand up straight. You stare at the mirror on the wall, and you look yourself in the eye, and you say/think to yourself, "No. No, I am not going to think about him for the rest of my life. I refuse to waste any more of my thoughts on someone as inconsiderate, rude, and evil as him. He doesn't deserve my thoughts."

And then you sort of just break down, hugging that trusty pillow of yours again, because you're fairly sure that every single word in that little pep talk you just gave yourself was a lie. He is not inconsiderate, he is sensitive and sweet. He is perfect. He is not rude, he is extremely polite, and he is perfect. He is not evil, no, no, he is the epitome of good.

Oh, yeah.

And he's also perfect.

And you will definitely, absolutely, positively, no-doubt be wasting your thoughts on him for the rest of your entire life.

Because, did I mention he's perfect?

And, slowly but surely, you pull yourself back up onto the bed and off the dusty floor that hasn't been walked across in almost a week. For a brief moment, you wonder how you haven't starved to death yet, and then you remember some health crap that you learned a while ago, about how a person could go months without food, as long as they had water. And then you silently curse yourself for crawling into the bathroom every day and pouring some water into your mouth from the faucet.

But you know, deep inside, that you need that water, even if for no other reason than to keep crying. Because, honestly, if you stopped crying, what would you do?

Nothing.

And what would you be, if you weren't heartbroken, and you most-definitely weren't in love?

Nothing.

And you swallow hard and lick your lips and taste the salty tears that have been constantly running down your cheeks for days, and you suck in a deep, shaky breath, and you blink a few times so your vision isn't blurred to the point of blindness anymore. You set that tear-streaked pillow – you know, the one that pretty much became your best friend after the break up? – against the bed's headboard. You lean back and pull the dirty, wrinkled covers up over your head, as if that could somehow block out all the pain, all the depression, all the helplessness. As if it could possibly block out that horrible feeling of not knowing what to do anymore.

And you stay there, hiding in the weak, make-shift sanctuary, until you realize it's getting hard to breathe and that you must have used up all the oxygen under the blanket.

And for a moment, you consider screwing life and just staying under the blanket for a few more moments.

But then you remember another piece of stupid, scientific crap that you learned somewhere about how human reflexes would stop you from suffocating yourself unless you had no choice but to suffocate.

And you know you have no choice but to suffocate unless you want to go on living without really living.

But you don't really think it works that way.

And you sigh and pull the blanket back down to your neck, staring up at the ceiling and picking out patterns in the paint.

And you just wonder. You wonder what you did wrong. You wonder why he chose her over you. You wonder and wonder and wonder until really the only thing that's left to wonder is why you're still here.

And you consider leaving. Like, really, legitimately consider it. List out the pros and cons and everything.

But you can't actually think of anything but pros, because now that he wants nothing to do with you, now that even he believes you are a worthless, ugly, stupid, pointless being, what even is the point of staying?

Yeah. Those moments.

Do you ever have one of those moments?

'Cause I do.


Oh my frick-fracking Notch, I'm so so sorry for that depressing one-shot! I just read something really depressing a few minutes ago, and I just HAD to write something... I just... Oh, good Notch... And I'm listening to "Amnesia" by 5sos while I write this, and.. IT IS NOT HELPING, NOT ONE BIT.

Anyways. I decided to include an ALT ending that is slightly happier. Here we go, ROLL FILM!


But you can't actually think of anything but pros, because now that he wants nothing to do with you, now that even he believes you are a worthless, ugly, stupid, pointless being, what even is the point of staying?

Yeah. Those moments.

Do you ever have one of those moments?

'CAUSE I DON'T. LOLOLOLOLOLOL, ALL YOU HEARTBROKEN FOOLS, I FEEL SORRY FOR YOU! OH, WAIT, LOLNOPE! I ACTUALLY DON'T REALLY GIVE A RIP ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE, 'CAUSE MINE IS GOING SWIMMINGLY!

So really there's nothing left to say other than, "Sucks for you!"

Oh, wait. I didn't mean that.

I mean, uh... "There's always someone who cares about you enough to want you to keep living...?"

Uh..

LOLOLOL.


-.- That was even worse than the original one-shot. I'm sorry.

AHEM, ATTENTION, PLEASE. I just wanna say, please pay NO ATTENTION WHATSOEVER to whoever the heck you imagined saying that ALT ending. Like, seriously, they are heartless. I'm sorry, I just made one of the people in your favorite ships heartless. My bad. But really, there is always a reason to keep living. If you feel like you can't think of a reason, PM me, email me, anything, and I'll list a few. :)

OKEH, BAIII, RULERS.