Chapter 29 HAS been revised.

Dark as Rain

By Scutter

scutter1200@hotmail.com

This fic is dedicated to yaoifantasy aka Julie, for her life-altering fic, 'Star Light'.

Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy 8. My bread rolls are stale. I like stale bread rolls.

Rated R. Yaoi-ness here.

Chapter 29

POV of Squall, Zell, Squall, Squall, Zell.

It brings back a lot of memories, seeing Seifer again. But strangely, not all of them are of Seifer. Rather, it brings to mind a whole series of comparisons; ifs, buts and maybes, as my mind can't help comparing the past 6 months or so, with the years I spent in Seifer's bed.

I can't remember when things started getting rougher between me and Zell, whether it was him, or me that started things down that path. Until today, I hadn't realised how like Seifer I can be. Rough, demanding, impatient. Zell has always been… energetic. But there's a subtle difference there that suddenly begins to haunt me, and I resolve to change it back, when I next see Zell.

That's not to say Seifer wasn't hot in bed. Passionate, I would call it, and I close my eyes for a moment, as we walk back through the quieted streets of FH.

Trying to remember why I said yes, that day in Balamb. We were young, still just students with any ideas of becoming SeeDs far off in our minds. A day off led to a trip to Balamb, in search of some new entertainment, or, in Seifer's case, the chance to cause some mischief. A dozen or more students would have been around town that day. Then evening came, and the rest of the students drifted home, before it got too dark to walk the path back to Garden.

"Hey Squall?"

I paused at the town gates, waiting for Seifer to catch up. Ahead of us, the last of the students were disappearing round a curve in the road. He stood silently, expectantly, in front of me for a long moment, until I turned away to the road again, having lost interest in his silent challenge. Or, I would have turned away. But he reached out a hand to grab my shoulder, pulling me forcibly back through the gate. "I got a little invitation for you," he muttered softly. If I had been paying more attention at the time, I would have noticed the tremor in his voice, and the way his eyes said he wasn't nearly as sure of himself as he would have people believe. I didn't reply, but stood waiting for him to get on with whatever was keeping me here, in the rapidly fading light.

"You've been watching me all day," he purred finally, tired of waiting for me to play this game. "Don't think I haven't noticed. I always turn around and find you staring at me." I didn't bother to deny it – even back then, Seifer fascinated me. Confident, loud, brash. Everything I wasn't. And I didn't bother to point out that he, too, had been watching me.

"What say we go do something about that?" he murmured into my ear, turning me slowly back towards the town… and towards the hotel. "There's a quiet little room on the second floor of the hotel with your name on it," he continued, while I didn't bother to protest. "A cosy little bed, just big enough for two." His hand reached down to squeeze my ass briefly, and it was only at that point that I really figured out what he was asking. He wanted to sleep with me. Though I was at a loss to understand why he would choose me, instead of one of the girls who were always following him around.

He brought us to a halt, when we got to the hotel doors, but didn't go inside. "So… do you want to?"

This time, my silence would not be enough. I realised that he was asking for my permission, my acceptance at the very least, if not my willing participation in an act that was supposed to be important, or something. I also realised something else.

I was hard.

I still don't know exactly what led me to agree… whether it was that simple detail, that his leg pressed against my length felt better than I could have imagined, or whether it was a chance to hold on to some of what I so admired in him, his arrogant, brazen impulsiveness. Or whether I agreed because I caught a hint of his reasons for asking, rather than just considering my reasons for answering…

To this day, I can only speculate on why he asked me up to the room that night. Why it was me he chose. There were plenty of other people, both male and female, who would have eagerly said yes to the outgoing youth. Perhaps, one day, I'll be able to ask him why. Perhaps one day I'll care enough to try.

Either way, I found myself nodding. "Yeah," I replied, taciturn as always, and then it was me, dragging him up the flight of stairs and fidgeting impatiently as he fumbled to get the key into the lock.

Later, it would be his room, instead of the hotel room. But the game was always the same. One of us would make the demand, or the challenge, and the other would rise to the bait. It wasn't always him, either. I could be just as voracious, just as demanding as my arrogant lover. All behind closed doors, of course, while in public view, we became ever more wary of each other, the challenges spilling out into the class room and the battle field until most of Garden had us labelled bitter enemies. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Where as Zell and I… heck, even I've heard some of the rumors running around Garden about us two. Seems we haven't been as discreet as we thought we were… or perhaps, Irvine had a hand in making those rumors fly. He's never been one for discretion, and if a student had a suspicion, it wouldn't take long to get an answer from the resident love-god. That's not to say Irvine can't be trusted. He as loyal a friend as I've ever had. On issues of love, though, he simply doesn't see that there is anything to hide… and were it not for the politics that sometimes get in the way, I would agree with him.

But my point here is that all the rumors are heading in the right direction. Zell and I were close friends before we ever jumped into bed together, and no one disputes that our friendship comes first, with sex a distant second.

I'm jolted from my thoughts, suddenly, as voices intrude and I realise that we've arrived back at the docking bay where Garden is waiting for us. Irvine, Selphie and Zell approach my group returning from the city center, and we exchange the required number of salutes, before getting on with the real business.

*

"80% of the city has been secured, Commander," Irvine begins his report, getting only that far before he gives up the disciplined pretence and relaxes into his usual role. "It was like squirting a water gun at a bonfire for a while there, Squall. Took a little while for word to get out that SeeD was here, and SeeD was serious, baby! Still, once people figured out we weren't pulling any punches, most folk packed up and went home. We arrested about 100 people, but most of them have been real quiet since then."

"Which has nothing to do with the fact that Irvine put half of them to sleep," Selphie interjects happily.

"There's still little bits of brawling on the outskirts, but we got a couple of teams out, clearing that up. The mayor knows you're here, and he's ready to see you, whenever you're available. And we did have to resort to physical combat with a couple of punks from the Galbadian army, but once we had them under control, we patched them right up with a few Curas, so no harm, no foul."

"Thank you, all of you," Squall says, to the group at large. "Irvine, send a message to Xu. Once the last of the rioters have been controlled, she can let the students out of the dorms, but no one, and I mean no one, is to leave Garden premises. After that, come and join us at the Mayor's house."

"Yes sir!" Irvine salutes casually, and saunters off to find Xu. As the rest of us head down the hill to the Mayor's house, I sidle up to Squall. He gives me a strange little smile as I reach him, that I don't quite understand. "Did you find…?" I ask, as quietly as I can, knowing he knows what I'm asking. Who knows what ears are listening right now.

"Yeah," he replies, barely turning his head as we walk.

"And?"

He sighs, very softly. "He didn't do anything," he admits finally. "I kind of feel like we're up against a brick wall here. Let's see what the mayor's got to say about it."

*

"I still hold to my original opinion," the Mayor declares, resolutely. "We accepted Seifer into this city under certain conditions. To my knowledge, Seifer has kept those conditions, and until it is proven otherwise, I see no reason to evict him. And furthermore," he continues, "These people should be shown that there are better ways to do things than by resorting to violence. Garden must see to it that these trouble makers are put away. After all, Seifer was one of your students. Isn't it your duty to protect him?"

I pause, at that, carefully considering his words for a long moment. "Garden didn't come here to form a dictatorship over the global justice system. We protected the world for a short time, but that is not our role anymore. I will not wield Garden's muscle simply to satisfy a small handful of people. Some of the people here have very genuine concerns about Seifer's future, and despite the inappropriate way they expressed those fears, we can't just ignore them. Further more," I add, to the Mayor's dismay, "Seifer is no longer a student of Garden. We are no longer accountable for his actions, or responsible for his safety. People grow up and move on, sir. Garden isn't going to protect them forever."

The Mayor, predictably, is not happy. "What about my city?"

"This time, sir," I say carefully, "I agree with you. Violence is not the answer. We will find a resolution to this problem. We will do so peacefully, and diplomatically. Now if you'll excuse us," I rise to leave, followed by my comrades, "I believe we have work to do."

*

*

*

It's dark outside by the time we all stumble back into my office, sometime past 2200 hours.

"Thank you everyone for your help today. I know it's been a long day, but we still have some questions to find answers to. I think the sooner we do, the better." Okay, so it wasn't the most elegant speech ever, but I'm tired, and horny, and I've used up my word quota for the day. "These aren't decisions I can make on my own, so any and all input you have would be appreciated. As I said to the mayor, Garden is not here to hand down judgements on Seifer. We have neither the wisdom, nor the resources to tell the rest of the world what they should think. We do, however, need a permanent solution. There's only one path I can think of which will bring us the result we need. It's an option that's fraught with difficulties, but I think it's also the most likely to reach a permanent solution, so we don't find ourselves back here in a month, doing this all over again. What I propose is to hold a public forum. Each of the factions we dealt with today will have the opportunity to raise their concerns, and then, as a joint community, we allow the forum to decide what Seifer's fate will be. The idea here would be to get specific cooperation from each of the major players – Galbadia, Balamb, Trabia and Esthar – to uphold law enforcement on their own shores, and if we ensure this is a diplomatic process, I hope we'll minimise any splinter groups that might be tempted to form."

"We'd need Seifer's cooperation, first of all," Quistis points out. "There's no point passing laws on his behaviour or jurisdiction if he won't hold to them."

"A very good point, Quistis. We'll also need the cooperation of the respective national governments, which may be fairly difficult to secure."

"Any word from Esthar yet?"

"Absolute silence. If I didn't know better, I'd say they'd shut themselves away from the rest of the world again." This time, I don't bother hiding the concern in my voice. "We are going to keep trying, but at this stage, I don't know what to expect. And to answer one of the questions I know you all have," I pre-empt them, "there have been no signs of any involvement from Ultimecia. Currently this seems to be a completely unrelated situation." I refrain from mentioning my unusual conversation with Seifer this afternoon on the subject, and also remind myself to speak to Odine about it… if we ever hear from them again. "One of the major difficulties in running a public forum will be maintaining security," I continue. "We don't need a repeat of today's events, and there's going to be a lot of hot tempers running around. What is just as important," I tell them sternly, "is that Garden is to maintain a diplomatic silence over these issues. We are here as peace keepers. We are not here as representatives of any nation, district or institution, and I firmly believe that Garden should not have any political role in this debate." I pause for a long moment, giving everyone the chance to comment, or disagree, should they wish to.

"We know more about Seifer than most of the world," Zell begins, cautiously. Hyne knows, he and I have had enough arguments over our current course of action in the past day or so. I can tell he doesn't want to start another one right now. "Wouldn't that put us in a better position to determine what should be done, rather than a worse one?"

"I see your point," I return, just as carefully. "But almost everyone in this room has some fairly strong biases about Seifer, both from experience on the battle field, and from an emotional standpoint. I think those emotions would mean that making objective statements about the current situation would be extremely difficult."

"I agree," Irvine speaks up. "No matter how objective we tried to be, we would still end up putting our own wishes into the argument. So I think you're right, it would be best to avoid it all together."

I glance at Zell, waiting for his approval, or lack thereof. Thankfully, though, he nods, seemingly not upset about the decision.

"We do have one other option, which again, would need cooperation not just from Seifer, but from all of you, and at this point, I strongly encourage any comments you may have. If a resolution can't be reached, or we can't get global support on that decision, Garden would have the option of offering Seifer asylum. If he was to come and live in Garden, we can easily uphold any legal matters surrounding him, and also protect him."

A snort of disbelief comes instantly from Zell, but he manages to hold his tongue before he says whatever is on his mind… though I'm sure I could guess what it would be.

"Short of saying that's the most shit idea I've heard all day," Irvine drawls tiredly, "how about we wait and see if it becomes necessary, and talk about it then?"

"Agreed," I concur easily. Perhaps, in a slightly different situation, I would have pushed the issue. But I've argued enough with Zell of late, I don't much like the idea myself, and I'm tired. "Try and get some sleep, everyone. We've got a long day tomorrow. Dismissed." As they trickle out of the room, no one bothers stopping to salute, and I feel more gratified than I have all day.

*

*

*

Squall doesn't busy himself at his desk, as the others leave the room. Rather, he looks tired, chin resting lightly on his hands as he watches them leave. Though I do notice the faint beginnings of a smile. Lazily rising from my own seat, I wander over to his side of the room. "Tired?" I ask lightly, expecting the idea to be immediately denied. But again, he doesn't turn back to his work, as I'd expect him to, instead pushing his chair away from his desk, rising to wrap his arms around me in a loose hug. Despite the firm leather of his pants, I can feel him pressing against me, and I realise the reason for his strange mood. He's horny, baby.

I chuckle lightly into his jacket, and return the hug. "How about," I suggest, half in play and half in something much more serious, "we don't talk about any of this for the rest of the night?"

He tilts his head down to kiss my forehead, and growls out a low "Agreed," before taking my hand, and leading me from the room, barely remembering to switch off the light on the way out.

I don't quite know what to expect, once we get to his suite. Lately, Squall's been kinda tense and restless, spending more time trying to burn off energy than kick back and enjoy the sex. I can't pinpoint his mood tonight, either. He seems at once angsty and peaceful, confused and purposeful.

The moment we are through his suite door, though, he stops, and turns to kiss me, in a slow, thorough way he hasn't done for a long time. By the end of it, I'm breathless, damn near sagging against him when he finally pulls away. He smiles at me, a young, innocent, and almost apologetic smile, and turns to guide me slowly into his bedroom.

Shedding our clothes takes a long time, beginning with the careful removal of our respective weapons, complete with powering down junctions and disengaging magic spells. Then sliding out of our jackets, shirts, shorts... It's been two weeks or more – a surprisingly long time, in our relationship, since we bothered to get completely naked, and I realise I've missed it, as I see his sculpted legs and smooth muscles bared for my inspection. My breath hitches in my throat, and he smiles at me again, that young, almost innocent expression, before he leans in to nibble down my shoulder, and it occurs to me where I've seen that expression before. Not since the first time we did this, when he would declare his innocence with eyes and smile, and tempt mischief and chaos with his hand on my flesh. The endless contradiction that is Squall Leonhart, self-effacing hero of the known world.

I have no more time to think on it, though, as he tumbles me backward onto the bed, to gently, and patiently prepare me, and join our bodies. I realise I've missed this, the more tender side of Squall. I've barely begun to enjoy the sensations though, when I feel his arms about my waist, and shoulder, and feel myself lifted, with no more effort than he lifts his gunblade, though I'm sure I'm twice as heavy. To my surprise, he presses me against the wall, still moving slowly and gently, reminding us both what we've been missing lately, until I gasp his name, and slide, a boneless heap, into his arms.

I feel him smile against my shoulder, as he carries me back to the bed. Then he's gone, returning moments later with a warm, damp towel, cleaning both of us while I fight to stay awake for a few minutes longer. Finally, I feel him slip into bed beside me, and I turn to settle warmly against his shoulder.

Sleep does not come as quickly as I expected, though, and some minutes later, I feel him shift against me, his lips brushing my ear for a moment. Then, a gentle sigh, and soft words, spoken for my hearing, or just for his own comfort, I don't know.

"I love you, Zell."

*

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Feedback will be spun round many times. Flames will be put in a square place.

Redrum: There'll probably a lot of SxS innuendo, but unfortunately, little action here. I'm considering writing a SxS oneshot though...

Is it me, or are these chapters getting longer? My muses have been very generous lately, even though I've had a shortage of tasty treats to indulge them in. I'm particularly grateful to Feldspar, my indifference muse, who has been showing up at all the right times.