Chapter Title: The Gift-Giver

Word Count: 2300

A/N: HAI EVERYWAN!

Surprise! Some of y'all must have thought I had died huh? And considering my work schedule I don't blame you. I know I'd said that I would be posting chapters on a weekly basis on the condition that I would have at least 5 chapters done pre-posting. But after my last post, I got a twitter from my muse that said:

U must be crazy thinkin' u da boss of ME! #bitchplease

Well, maybe it didn't go down EXACTLY like that. But you get what i'm saying.

I was being arrogant. I realize now that i'm completely at the mercy of my muse as we all are. But as you can see, my muse has been feeling a little frisky as of late. (You'll pardon me if i'm a little flustered.) I'm happy to report that I've got a few chapters in the pipes.

It has come to my attention recently, that some changes need to be done 'round here. So, I'm going to conduct a few experiments:

1. I know that some people have mentioned that some of the aliases are hard to remember. I understand. I know if I didn't write this, I would have forgotten what Shikamaru's alias is. My memory is that bad. So (to help a friend out) I added a Character Name Glossary to my profile page. If you're fuzzy on who's who then it'll be there for you. :)

2. The chapter format is changing. From now on, I'm not going to add any author's notes. Well, aside from this one. I like writing them (and some of you may like reading them) but I realize that they are self-indulgent on the part of the writer. And it can take away from the flow of the story. So we're gonna try something new. We'll see how long my willpower lasts. *bad feeling about this*

3. There are a few other things that I'm tinkering around with but don't have the patience or inclination to list them all here. All I'll say is that I'm working on (some of) them. Please have patience.

Lastly, I just want you to remember that this is an experiment. If you don't like it or (even better) have a suggestion, let me know.

Ok guys. With that out of the way, let me say for the final time ...R&R and Enjoy! :)

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO


DJ,

Now, I am not one to brag about my family. Truth be told, there's no need for it. My father was (and now my baby brother is) Kazekage. So overstating the obvious is just an exercise in snottiness as far as I'm concerned.

But as legendary as my father was back in his heyday, the question of his "greatness" is still debated. In hushed tones of course. And NO body questions it in front of Gigi. It's a touchy subject (putting it mildly).

In terms of Gigi's current run as Kazekage, there's no debate needed. He's proven himself time and again. In the face of great difficulties and all the (now hypocritical) naysayers. And today he proved it once again.

I was completing the last of my errands before I was to leave for the Leaf. And optimistically speaking, I wanted to catch up Stag before long. Nothing gets fires lit like the possibility of uninterrupted alone time with Stag.

Anyway, I was passing by Gigi's office going over my packing list & mentally checking off items when he called me to join him. He looked quite pleased with himself. That got me interested. He told me wanted my opinion on something. I was thinking it was the new specs for the City-wide irrigation system he was thinking of proposing to the council.

You can imagine the overwhelming apprehension I felt when, instead of an official looking report, he handed me a present.

"What's this?" I asked him calmly.

"Well," He said with the quiet intensity he's become infamous for. "I wanted to know what you think."

PLEASE DON'T LET THIS BE FOR ME. PLEASE DON'T LET THIS BE FOR ME. PLEASE, PLEASE PLEASE...

Here's the deal.

The journey to become Kazekage is long and difficult under normal circumstances as you might guess. But for Gigi there is no such thing as normal circumstances. Although, he has the Bijuu's strength, speed and abilities, he's also had to contend with its stigma as well. I won't go into specifics because that would take all year, but suffice it to say it wasn't easy. Most people just didn't trust him. He's been working really hard to become the person he was meant to be. And I think that has a lot of it has to do with his realization that he, in fact, can change & change the way people see him.

Who knows where he gets these nutty ideas from?

Anyway, the gift-giving came from this epiphany. He told me he was working through some sort of 12-step program. I think he got that idea from one of the self-help books K loves so much.

He said that one of the steps involved apologizing to everyone that's been negatively affected by his behaviour. Now, in theory, this could work. It teaches the person about accountabilty and all kinds of good/helpful stuff.

But this is Gigi. He somehow got it into his head that the apologies had to morph into some sort of thoughtful and (sometimes) homemade gifts. Again, in theory this should have worked. But it's Gigi. Jinchuriki Gigi. socially-inept Gigi. Bordering on Aspergers Syndrome Gigi. So gifts from Gigi mean giving an esteemed elder swimming trunks covered ducks & hearts or buying a whoopee cushion to a dignitary because "we shared a laugh."

You can see both the hilarity and tragedy in these gifts, don't you DJ?

Looking back on it now, his heart-breaking naivety/awkardness & the fact that no one has ever called him on it makes him either the GREATEST straight man to all of shinobi-dom or the most socially awkward Jinchuriki to have ever existed.

But at the time, we were all terrified. We all thought this was the last pitstop on the way to Crazyville. Then he was going to relapse and take all of us with him.

Of course, no one told him this. The reason why no one called him on it (quite frankly) was because what do you say to the (albeit) formerly sadistic, maniacal psychopath with a penchant for a particularly disturbing brand of violence?

Anyone who came into contact with Gigi back then was told not to make eye contact, agree to whatever he wants & then wait til he passes.

This was the paraphrased blanket statement I've given over the years. No one questioned it mainly because it worked. Problem was: It didn't anymore. Gigi would not move away until you looked him in the eye and then he'd smile. The first time this happened, the shinobi in question was trembling and near tears after it was over.

For a little while, you could not meet a Sand nin who wasn't carrying around an empty brown paper bag. If you ever asked them about it, the shinobi(s) in question would suddenly become shifty and say evasively: "Just in case."

It's a brave new world, DJ.

I think they were being a tad overdramatic. Only a few of them hyperventilated and I think it because they were recent Genin or Chuunin. So it's understandable, I suppose.

Now can you imagine the reactions when he started the gift-giving?

All of this was going through my head as I stared down at the neatly wrapped package in front of me.

"I was thinking about giving this to Yoko & K..."

A tidal wave of amused curiosity replaced my anxiety as I lifted the box cover.

"I even started it." He said with a tentative smile and nodded encouragingly as I picked up the gift to exam it more thoroughly.

I don't CARE if they crack. They're just ribs. Don't laugh dammit. DO NOT LAUGH!

I took a couple of steadying breaths. I had to play this carefully.

"It's ... wonderful." I choked out. I hoped my face wasn't as red as I imagined.

"Yeah? You really think so?" He asked it with such sincerity that I began to doubt his intentions.

"Uh..."

"I want to give it them at the same time. I think it'd be better that way because I'd get to see their reactions."

See what I mean? I can't gauge him. But for Gigi's sake, we needed to air on the side of caution.

I told him that it was a great idea. I was about to suggest both of us giving gifts and then switching my (more Kazekage-appropriate) gift with his but a messenger rushed in.

The gift evaporated somehow. Gigi was sitting, cool as a cucumber, at his desk staring expectantly at the messenger. Our conversation had been cut short and I had been dismissed.

Now DJ, don't start. In my defence, I had a very long list and I was in a hurry. And I didn't know when he'd be finished or when he would be presenting this blessing to Miyagi-san. I decided that I would finish off the rest of my errands and pick up "Gigi's" gift as well. Once I was done, I'd see if I could catch him before I left for the Leaf.

Anyway, I had completely forgotten about Gigi's BRILLIANT, BRILLIANT gift until I saw a group of nin surrounding K, Yoko & Gigi. Then I saw something that made me run. Iki was near tears.

Uh oh. This can't be good.

Apparently, not being one for big gestures, Gigi decided to give his gift to the happy couple at the gates since he was also seeing off several shinobi cells going on various missions. But because Sand Nin are beyond mere mortals, they were able to get to the core of the matter in under 30 seconds flat.

A crowd of completely silent Sand Nins can be very intimidating as you may well be aware, DJ. But this group was different. There were tell tale signs.

Normally, Sand Nins surrounding a target are taught to do it stealthily and keep weapons in hand. And above all remain strictly focused. But this group...It reminded me of the "JI-RI! JI-RI!" incident. The crowd was in plain sight & instead of holding their weapons, they were holding onto their stomachs or (more alarmingly) onto each other.

Yoko had opened the present with K being frustratingly stymied at his attempts to make a quick getaway. The way she was going on about it made me realize that not only was she's a concerned mother & committee member but also a consummate performer.

For what it's worth K acted like everyone was invisible or perhaps that he was.

"A Book of Us!" Iki wheezed under his breath. "He got them a Book of Us!"

EMORI'S TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT...KITTENS BEING SKINNED ALIVE...K IN HIS TIGHTY WHITIES...

SHIT! IT'S NO USE! I'VE SEEN WHAT'S CONTAINED IN THOSE PAGES!

Gigi looked around confused.

T! Get it together. Your brother needs you.

But Yoko got there first.

"Kage-sama, Thank you for giving this to us. We'll be sure to fill it with wonderful memories. Suna is truly blessed to have such a thoughtful and compassionate leader."

K looked like he was about to explode. So it was time to step in.

"Well said, Miyagi-san. I would have never expected this before you became Kazekage, Gigi. I'm sure K appreciates your efforts, right K?"

His pinched pained expression changed to calm indifference the instant Gigi's eyes turned towards him.

"Of course I do, T." It sounded like every word was a struggle.

"Really? Does that mean you'll be filling it out?"

"I think that's a GREAT idea." I heard myself say with a smile. But I had to close my eyes when I thought I heard Iki snort.

I can't make eye contact with Iki. If I do, then it's all over.

"I don't have anything to write with..."

"You can borrow mine..." Iki said as he FINALLY stepped forward.

Thank you Kami-sama. Just don't look at him. Do not look at him.

Instead I looked at Gigi & Yoko. Their eyes & smiles widen in surprised pleasure.

K looked like he was going to kill us. "I don't know what to say."

"Just say what's in your heart. I'm sure you've had plenty of practice. Isn't that from your favourite self-help book? What's it called again?"

At that point, I think every 1 out of 5 Nin started breathing into paper bags.

"No More Pity Parties." Iki said without batting an eye.

Let me correct that. Now it's 1 out of 3 nins.

But then he turned to me. "Shame on you, T. How could you forget? He's mentioned it 50 times already."

When K's face had turned the same colour as his old uniform, Gigi decided it was enough.

He turned towards the remaining cells (who lost the levity at once) and started giving last minute instructions about their missions & requesting that they finish their assignments within 2 weeks. It took a few minutes but the cells were able to get themselves sorted before they scattered in all directions.

I noticed no one was making eye contact with K or Gigi for that matter. And I don't blame them. I made my way over to Gigi and told him I was going to leave as well. He nodded but something else was clearly on his mind. He asked:

"You don't think I was too abrupt, do you?"

"No. You were fine. It was a little odd that you would put a deadline on the missions but I suppose everything else was business as usual."

"T, How else will they get back in time to hear K read his first entry in the Book of Us?" His pale green eyes were calm and carried no hint of sarcasm in them.

Like I said DJ. The world's most oblivious & misguidedly sweet person the world has ever known or the GREATEST straight man to ever exist.

Someone's going to have to talk to him...

Don't you go looking at me, DJ.

I'll get K to do it.

Or I'm reading the Book of Us to the entire barracks once it's completed...

Or I could make copies of embarrassing pages and post them in other towns for random nins and citizens to find them & then wait for the fireworks...

Or I could buy copies of the Book of Us and give it to anyone he has a relationship with. The Lieutant General for example...Every one of the councillors... EVERY nin who's every come in contact with K...

Forget Gigi. Maybe I'll do it because it's my duty as an older sister.

OH just think of the possibilities!

They're ENDLESS!

Goodnite DJ,

T