I don't own these characters. They are the sole property of Stephenie Meyer. I only borrow them. No humans are permanently harmed through my actions, though I do confess to harassing, annoying, torturing, and exasperating them – just because it's fun. I make no money from my little stories, sad day. I only play in the sandbox, I didn't build it.
Chapter 29: Life Changing Information
Edward's POV
School was winding down and pretty much every senior in Forks High had already mentally checked out. April soon turned into May, and on May 11th, Bella was twenty-six weeks into the pregnancy. Fourteen weeks to go if Cassidy arrived on schedule. Which was, according to the books, a very big if. On May 17th, I really felt the baby move for the first time, which was right on schedule , according to the books. That was my new motto. "According to the books." That's all I could really go on now. It seemed like everyone had advice or stories to share, but they all contradict each other. So I ended up going to the books. Again.
Feeling Cassidy move was the weirdest thing. I could actually feel a little knee moving under Bella's skin. If it felt odd from the outside, I couldn't imagine what it felt like to have that going on inside. It was just one more milestone in a year filled with them. In May, time seemed to pick up speed.
Everyone was going on and on about prom for the most part, but graduation was a hot topic too, at least for the seniors. Prom was coming up in a week and then there was nothing but final exams and graduation to distract them. But while the rest of them were discussing their college plans and if they would be in dorms or renting an apartment, Bella and I had a slightly different set of priorities.
We were talking about things like pediatricians, whether Bella would live on the base I was eventually stationed at or live here in Forks, how we'd handle having one car and two adults and one baby, breastfeeding vs. bottle feeding (not a conversation for the weak of heart, let me tell you), and how we'd handle it if I got deployed right away. Bella usually shut down the conversation when I tried to talk about that. I got why she did it, but I didn't think we were going to make things any easier by refusing to discuss it. I was starting to realize that while my decision to join the Army offered certain positive things to us as a family, there were a lot of negatives too. Mostly the fact that I'd be away from them. But after thinking about everything, my long-term goals and Bella's too, the responsibilities of being a parent, and trying to be a good one, I still felt I had made the best decision for us – given our circumstances.
I knew that both sets of parents would have stepped in and supported us, given us a place to live and provided childcare while we went to school and/or work. But I didn't want to do it that way. I felt like I would be letting someone else support my kid, and since we had created Cassidy, I thought we owed it to her to do the best we could. I still wasn't sure of how it would all work out; I only knew I thought we should try.
There were a lot of unknowns to deal with and we didn't know a hell of a lot to start. I was beginning to understand why it was grown-ups who had babies and not horny teenagers. To top it off, Bella was hitting the cranky stage of pregnancy. The baby bump was starting to become the baby mountain and she wasn't happy about it.
I think the real problem was that the bigger Bella got, the more people stared. Bella's never been one to enjoy being the center of attention. She's kind of shy until she gets to know you. But now it seemed that everywhere she went, especially at school, everyone was looking at her. I was sure she got as tired of that shit as I was, but she'd stopped bitching about it and just sort of ducked her head as she made her way through the halls of Forks High. That bothered the fuck out of me, but every time I tried to talk to her about it, she just shut me down. I was starting to get paranoid.
Had she decided she didn't love me and didn't to marry me?
Every time I tried to talk to her about pretty much anything that wasn't casual, I got one word answers or sighs. I was getting used to it. My father told me to be patient, that all of this was normal. But honestly, nothing felt normal. I wanted normal. I really wanted normal for just a day. I wanted to forget about enlisting and birthing rooms and formula vs. breast milk. I wanted to feel like I was eighteen again with nothing to worry about but whether I'd look like an ass dancing at prom. Prom. It seemed like it was a good way to feel normal again, even if it was just for a night. It sounded like a good idea at the time. I swear it did.
So I made the mistake of trying to talk her into going to prom. Big mistake. Huge. A misstep of epic proportions.
When I first ventured to actually say the words aloud, Bella stopped walking (more like stomping, which she was doing a lot lately) and whirled around to look at me. She was getting faster the more pregnant she got, which I still hadn't figured out. Maybe sheer rage was fueling her steps. She glared at me, poked me in the chest and then crossed her arms over her absolutely ginormous boobs.
"What the fuck, Edward?" That was the other thing. The more pregnant she got, the more she cursed. She actually dropped the "F" bomb in front of her mother the other day and didn't even twitch when Renee started lecturing her. I had started hearing the song "Bad Boys" from the COPS show every time I got near Bella now. I could see her in some cop's face, giving him shit for stopping her. I volunteered to drive her anywhere she needed to go just so she didn't get in one of her father's deputies faces.
"I uh…" Well, it had seemed like a really good idea at the time. Honestly, it had. "I thought you might want to have a traditional high school experience?" I no longer made statements. I asked questions. Statements were dangerous and came back and bit me in the ass. "You know, something normal for once?"
She grabbed her belly and gave it a good shake. Sorry, Cassidy. Daddy has pissed Mommy off again. Hold on tight. "Does this look like a traditional high school experience? Does this look normal to you?" I made the mistake of laughing. Oh shit.
Bella's eyes narrowed and she stomped toward me like Godzilla approaching Tokyo. "What the fuck are you laughing at, Cullen?"
It was never good when she addressed me by my last name. If she worked her way up to all three then I was well and truly fucked.
"Nothing," I assured her hastily. She continued to glare at me, clearly suspicious. "Uh, if you don't want to go to prom, then that's cool by me." Never argue with a pregnant woman, especially one getting near the last trimester. They really should teach you that shit, because it's way more useful than calculus. Talk about real life skills. Someone should talk to the school board about it.
"What would possess you to even consider the idea?" she snapped.
And because I'm a douche, I snapped back. "Because I just thought that maybe, just maybe, you'd want to do something fun for once instead of sitting around like big lumps and watching NCIS marathons like we're fifty fucking years old."
I could practically hear the alarms going off. Danger! Danger! Torpedoes ahead!
"Well you don't have to sit around like a lump, Edward Anthony Cullen," she hissed. Oh shit. All three names. That was never good. "Why don't you just run along and play with your friends or something? Maybe they can do something fun and normal so you don't feel like you're locked into a prison cell or something with your fat, ugly, very pregnant and old girlfriend!"
With that, she huffed and turned, stomping off in double time. It took me a minute to realize how epically I had fucked up. Yeah, she was being unreasonable and grouchy and pissy. But honestly, if anyone had a right to those things then it was Bella. I still fit in my clothes. I didn't have something moving around inside of me like I was a human ball pit. And I wasn't getting all the slanted looks and nasty whispers that Bella was subjected to – as unfair as that was since I was equally responsible.
And I had just snapped at her, let frustration and fear make me angry.
I watched her marching away and I saw how everyone in the hallways moved out of her way. No one wanted to fuck with Bella right now. I swear I saw Charlie duck out of her sight the other night when we walked in the door. And he's got a gun. Even Lauren was laying low and spewing her poison out of Bella's reach. I figured that I better let Bella cool off before I made my approach and commenced with the groveling.
I sighed and put my books in my locker. This whole pregnancy thing was way more complicated than the books made it out to be. Way more. Again, that might have been useful information. Way better than the birth control talk.
~RFL~
After our next class, I found Bella and groveled. I was getting good at it. Practice really does make perfect. I took her home and she said she wanted a nap. I wasn't going to argue the point. Hell, if she told me she thought I'd look better painted blue, I'd have just asked what shade she preferred. It wasn't that she was acting so horrible, just that she was acting so unlike Bella. I wasn't sure if it was the pregnancy hormones, being a teenaged mother, worrying about the future, or some whacked out combination of all three, but the last month had been difficult. For all of us.
I was starting to feel like a very shitty boyfriend/fiancé/expectant father because I couldn't figure out the hell to fix it. And I wanted to fix it. I wanted to make it all better and there was just no fucking way to do that.
I had curled up beside her in her little bed, wishing we were in my room because I had a big bed and let's face it, Bella was taking up more room than she used to. I put my hand on her belly and Cassidy started dancing around. I had noticed that the quieter Bella was, the more rowdy Cassidy got. Bella was snoring so I figured I might as well have a little chat with Cassidy.
I let my hands rest there on Mt. Cassidy and soon I felt the kicks and nudges I had come to expect. She was squirming away in there, practically doing summersaults from the feel of things. I wasn't sure how Bella slept through it all, but she did.
I closed my eyes and felt our daughter moving around in there. Cassidy definitely didn't need a nap. I tried to imagine what she'd look like when she was born and came up with nothing more than a miniature Bella, which would be great. I fell asleep thinking about a little Bella stomping away from me and telling me I was a horrible Daddy.
I was starting to think I'd never get this shit figured out.
~RFL~
We didn't go to prom. I didn't have the balls to bring it up again and since Bella had forgiven me, there was no way I was going to open that can of worms again. Alice and Angela and Rose took lots of pictures of their prom night and Bella seemed genuinely glad to look through them, asking them questions about the evening and laughing with them. I couldn't tell if she was sad to have missed her senior prom or not. Sometimes it was hard to read Bella.
But things were moving along pretty smoothly. We both did well on our final exams, which was a miracle in itself. Bella's doctor's appointments had gone well and Cassidy was growing right on schedule, at least according to the books. And the doctor. I still liked her, but the books were there at two in the morning when I started freaking out about something. I couldn't very well call the doctor to ask if colic was more likely if the baby was bottle-fed, especially not at two in the morning. It scared me that I knew about that stuff now. Even more, it scared me that I cared. Bella still hadn't decided if she wanted to breastfeed or bottle feed and I just nodded and agreed with whatever she said when she discussed it. Nothing I said was going to be right, and besides, they were her boobs. She just let me play with them sometimes.
The last week of May our graduation gowns arrived. Bright yellow. Yeah, who the hell looks good in that color? Mine fit, I guess, though honestly it was sort of like a bag with sleeves. What's not to fit? Bella's fit, but one look at herself in the mirror and she started bawling.
"I look like a fucking squash!" She was tugging at the ugly yellow folds.
"No, baby," I assured her. "We all look bad in them."
I still had mine on; we had decided to try them on together when we got to my house. She looked at me and scowled. "No, you look like a statue of a Greek god who just got draped in ugly. I look like a fucking squash."
I tried to cheer her up by putting the cap on her head. She glanced in the mirror. "Not helping," she muttered.
I pulled her into my arms, arching my body away from Mt. Cassidy. I kissed her. "It's just for an hour," I reminded her. "And then we'll be free of Forks High. Forever."
She sighed and I felt her relax into me. Between us, Cassidy decided to get in on the act. Thump. Bump. Wriggle.
"Edward?" Bella asked in a soft voice.
"Yeah, babe?"
"I'm sorry I've been such a bitch," she whispered.
"You haven't been a bitch," I said, only partly lying. If she had been a bitch, she had good reason.
She grunted and buried her face in my chest. "Yes, I have, but I do love you. And I love our baby. I'm just a little…overwhelmed right now."
"It's okay."
She looked up at me. Then she stood on her toes and kissed me, her tongue playing with mine, teasing. "Bella…" I warned. I was still an eighteen year old guy with a dick that didn't know the meaning of the words, "not the right time or place."
"Yeah?" she whispered.
"Keep that up, and you aren't going to be wearing anything, much less that hideous yellow thing."
"That's the plan," she said, licking up my neck. For about three milliseconds, I considered saying no. But we were alone and Bella was in the mood. I didn't need any more than that.
I smiled as I unzipped the yellow ugliness. She unzipped mine and they both fell to the floor with the slither of polyester. She pushed me back until my knees hit the bed and then she pushed me onto the bed. It had been sixteen days since we did it. Sixteen days and…I glanced at the clock. Sixteen days and thirty seven minutes. Or something like that. It was hard to do math when all of the blood was pulsing in my dick.
"Take off your clothes," she ordered. Pregnant Bella might be cranky Bella, but when she got horny, she was learning how to take charge and give orders. It was a turn on, I don't mind admitting.
Quickly, I complied. I was scared to take too long for a lot of reasons.
Bella whipped her shirt (my shirt) up over her head and threw it on the floor. She shimmied of the yoga pants and stood there in some purple cotton panties that were shoved below Mt. Cassidy.
In the sixteen days since we'd done it, her belly had gotten even bigger. Missionary position was definitely out. I studied her, trying to figure out the best way to go about this. Last time we'd done it lying on our sides. Looking at her boobs, though, gave me an idea.
"Get on top," I said as I scooted back. "I want to watch you." What I really wanted to watch was those big boobs bouncing around. They weren't for keeps, but I planned on enjoying them while I could.
She looked uncertain for a moment, her hands going to shield the belly. I shook my head. "Nope," I told her. "No hiding. It's beautiful."
Bella rolled her eyes at me but climbed onto the bed. "Panties?" I reminded her.
Those slid off her legs and hit the floor too. My dick throbbed as she scooted up my body. Then she sat down on me, placing her wet heat right where I wanted it. I grabbed her hips and circled my own. She threw her head back and moaned.
Then she lifted up a bit and I slid inside. She felt softer now, still snug, but softer somehow. I felt her tighten up around me on purpose. That was new and I hissed. She grinned down at me. "Like that?" she asked, like she didn't already know the answer.
"Fuck yeah," I grunted, lifting my hips and holding hers steady.
So she did it again. She was fucking killing me. I watched her boobs swaying and bouncing with her motions, up and down. They were big and round and her nipples were darker. The blue veins made her skin look creamy and lickable. I thrust into her again.
It was slow and steady. I'd push up into her and she'd tighten up around me, then she'd let me go and I would glide out. In. Squeeze. Out. In. Squeeze. Out.
It didn't take long and Bella could tell I was getting close. She moved one of my hands from her hip and placed it over her clit. "Touch me," she gasped. "Please…just a little…"
I circled her clit with my thumb, pressing gently. Her body had changed with the pregnancy, and my touches had had to change too. I didn't mind learning.
"Oh fuck!" she panted and then she really tightened down on me and that was all it took. I exploded inside of her, my hands locked down on her hips, holding her right where I needed her.
After a while, I took a deep breath and lowered us to the bed. I pulled her close and kissed her. "What the fuck was that? That squeezing thing?" I liked it. I liked it a lot.
She giggled. "It's in the books if you want to look it up, you dork." She thought my fascination with the books was funny.
"What is it though?" I felt like a man who had discovered the Holy Grail. This shit had the potential to change lives.
"It's a Kegel exercise," she whispered, blushing like crazy.
"It's an exercise…for your pussy?" This was a shocking and thrilling thought.
"Uh yeah, I guess," she muttered, hiding her face again. "It's to get everything down there back in shape, you know…uh…after the baby comes out…"
"Oh." Oh. I got it. There were exercises to get a pussy back in shape after having a baby. And it felt really good when she practiced. Like, really good. Fuck me.
I was right. This shit could change lives.
