So why can't things just stay the same?
Oh the face of love keeps changing
When you think you've got it tamed
Your eyes will open one day
And it's up and gone again
I believe it is a shame
That you can say that it's forever
And ever comes again
But life will keep you bleeding
And standing in the rain
But I believe something remains
Cause when lovers ache together
Over many passing years
Something deep and knowing
Is borne in all their tears
Hawksley Workman - Song for Sarah Jane
I open my eyes the next day and the first thing I see is Jack staring at the ceiling. His eyes are darting around and he mumbles wordlessly every now and again. It's as though he's figuring out some sort of problem only he can see. "Morning," I greet, quietly distracting him from whatever it is.
He rolls onto his side and pulls me to him. "Not for much longer, Sugar," he informs me. "It's almost noon."
"What were you doing?" I flick my eyes to the ceiling.
"What do you mean?" His fingers start tapping along my spine.
"You were working something out just now," I explain. "You were staring at the ceiling and... I don't know..."
He chuckles in realization. "Ah, that," he nods. "Just playing a game to keep myself busy waiting for you to get up," I think he's lying, but have no reason to believe that, so I just nod.
"We should get up," I pat his arm for him to let me up. He groans in protest. "It's almost noon," I remind him. "Come on, I'll make us some food."
...
"Jack, will you stop," there is humor in my voice as he kisses my neck from behind. "I'm going to get burnt," I gesture to the pan on the stove where our sausages are sizzling.
"Come on, babe," he teases, still trying to distract me from cooking. "Gimme some sugar."
I grab a sugar packet from the jar next to the stove and toss it to him. "Here!" I shout jokingly. "Now, quiet!"
He erupts into a short burst of laughter. "I'll treasure it forever," he vows, sarcastically. I turn around in time to see him drop it into his shirt pocket with a smirk as he walks around the island and settle into his spot.
"You working tonight?" I ask him, starting to dish out our food.
He nods. "You?"
"Yeah," I confirm, setting his plate down in front of him. "They need me at the bar tonight. Ern has some sort of meeting, and I guess he's taking the night off."
He nods, again, loading a forkful of potatoes into his mouth. "I've got some things to take care of for the big shin-dig," his eyes twinkle. "I'll be home late."
...
It's coming up to midnight on a not-very-busy Wednesday at the Beckford when Ern shows up. His expression is grim and he's pale. He beeline's to the bar. "Kay-Kay, can I talk to you for a second?" His tone is serious.
I nod, my heart pounding in my chest. I look to Wendy and confirm that she's got the bar. There is only one person sitting there for her to handle. I follow Ern to the backstage area, which is empty. "Ern, what's wrong?" I ask, as we both sit down at the small table. "What happened? Are you okay?"
He looks at me, his eyes shining and almost fearful. "Are you?"
The question surprises me, and I pause. "Me? Yeah, of course I am," I narrow my eyes. "Why?"
"Jack," he blurts. "He showed up at my place," I'm speechless. "He was..." he struggles to find the right word. "He was strange, Kaylie. Different, I mean."
"Scary," I whisper without realizing.
"Yeah," Ern sighs. "He scared me," he admits. "He didn't do anything. Didn't even... say much, really. Just... how he was. He kept going on about this weekend being important to him and wanting - no... Needing... to have you there with him. It was very uncomfortable."
"Ern, I am so sorry," I breathe after a moment. "I had no idea-"
"Yeah, he mentioned that," he interrupts. "Wanted to make sure I knew you had nothing to do with him being there," we are both quiet for an agonizing minute. "Are you really going to stay with someone like that? You're going to end up..." he doesn't finish his sentence. He doesn't have to. His eyes are brimming with tears. I look down, ashamed. His hand shoots across the table and grabs mine. "I will do anything, Kaylie," I meet his sincere eyes. "Anything I can do to help you get away," he offers, tears starting to fall down his face as his voice grows desperate. "Just, for God's sake, please, please, get away."
I feel my mind start to race with an awakened realization. First he seeks to alienate me from my sister, and now he tries to intimidate my boss. My friend. I know Ern is right. I'm going to end up dead because of Jack if I don't do something. And soon. "Alright," my voice is shaking. "You're right. I know," this time I have someone else to help me. Someone who knows more than anyone else about what's been happening between me and Jack. "Give me this weekend."
Ern, who had been looking hopeful, now looks scared, again. "No way," he pulls his hand away from mine. "No fucking way, Kaylie. That is not how you get away."
"Ern, just listen," he is shaking his head in disbelief. "It's just to placate him for now. He is obsessed with this Halloween party right now. He is going to do whatever he can to get me there, that much is obvious, right?" Ern nods, still skeptical. "So, we use that. I tell him tomorrow that you gave me the weekend off so I could go. He'll just think he convinced you, and he'll be satisfied with that for now."
"And?" Ern raises his hands in question. "What then, Kaylie? How do you get out of it?"
"I don't get out of it, Ern," I shake my head like it should be obvious. "I go. He has to put on this big fireworks display. He's put a lot of work into it, I know him, he's going to want to do it himself. When he goes to deal with that, I get a cab back here to the Beckford and I'm out!"
"Just don't go home tonight," Ern shrugs. "Then you're out now."
I shake my head. "No, I'm not. He's not an idiot, Ern, he'll know why I didn't go home."
"And, how will he not figure out that you've left him after he's done his fireworks?" He's starting to come around to the idea.
I lean forward. "It's a sleaze club in the Narrows," I repeat the description I'd heard countless times from Jack. "On one of the busiest nights of the year. There's no telling what could happen to me there."
"So, you're just going to disappear?" He leans back.
"For now," I nod. "It's the only way I can picture getting away at all," I confess. "If he knows I'm out there, he won't stop. I know he won't."
"Kaylie," Ern sighs, exasperated. "Call the police."
I shake my head a final time. "No," I reply sternly. "No police. This is how I'm doing this. With or without your help," I am resolute.
Ern regards me curiously for a moment. "Alright, then, Kay-Kay," he finally agrees with a heavy sigh. "Have a happy Halloween at Wild Card."
...
Just as I walk out of the bathroom door on my way to bed that night, I hear the door to the apartment swing open, announcing Jack's arrival home. Instead of turning right and going to bed, I turn left and go to greet him, deciding to begin my charade earlier than expected.
"Hey, Sugar," he grins. "I didn't wake you, did I?"
I shake my head. "I was just on my way to bed," I assure him. "Productive night?"
He nods stiffly, walking past me into the living room. "I think so," he tosses his notebook into the drawer of his desk and locks it. "You?"
I shrug, sinking into the armchair. "Not really. It was pretty dead," I take a deep breath. "Good news, though," I try to keep my nerves from showing in my voice. "Ern called. Turns out they won't need me Saturday, after all," I announce. "Looks like I can go with you to Wild Card."
His smile is one I wouldn't recognize as smug if I didn't know more than I was letting on. "That's great. Wonder what, ah, what changed his mind?" He tests.
I shrug, again. "Who knows," we both do. "I'm just glad something did," I lie.
"Me, too," he approaches me with his hand extended. "Come on," he gestures for me to stand. "Let's go to bed," I take his hand and let him pull me to my feet. He continues pulling until our lips come together. "Glad I caught ya still awake," he chuckles. "Gives me the opportunity to tire you out."
...
The week passes without incident. Jack is gone frequently, working away at his Halloween plans, and before I know it, the day is upon us. To my amusement, Jack has holed himself up in the bathroom to get ready, and is still in there when I am dressed in my dollar-store fairy costume. I knock on the door as I pass by. "You're worse than a woman, Jack," I joke, grinning at the small laugh I hear from the other side.
"I'm worse than most people, Sugar," he jokes. My grin fades at the truth of the statement.
I move to the island and sit down in his spot to wait for him. There's less than an hour until we have to leave. Admittedly, I am nervous about what Ern and I have planned for the night. But mostly, I am sad. I know I have to go through with it. There are no other options for me. That doesn't make it easy. Thankfully, I'm not left alone for long with my dangerous thoughts, as I hear the lock click to the bathroom door and look up just as Jack steps out.
This is not a funny clown. He looks terrifying. He has his hands out to his sides as he presents his costume. The suit has, clearly, been made for him, though its coordinates look as though he's picked them off of different racks of different shops. The pants are dark, bluish purple in colour, with lighter purple pin stripes. The shirt is a lighter blue, with a bold, geometric pattern on it. Over that is a dark green vest and patterned tie. His suit jacket is a greyish purple that nearly matches the stripes in his pants. And, to top it all off, a heavy, deep purple overcoat. Jack isn't a small man, but the coat makes him look huge. His presence fills the room.
The costume, itself, isn't even the scary part of the get-up. He has his face painted up like some sort of ghoul. His face is painted white, with his eyes entirely blacked out. Even with his eyes open, they get totally devoured into the blackness. Then there's the smile. Only, Jack isn't smiling. His scars look fresh and bloody. He has painted them over in bright red paint, and they look like they did all those months ago. He has even coloured his hair green. As promised, he looks like the Wild Card he showed me before.
"Well, Sugar," he grins, and the picture is unsettling. "Whaddaya think?"
I swallow. My mouth feels dry. "Do you do birthday parties?" I joke by way of response.
He barks out a sharp laugh and pulls some purple, leather gloves from the pocket of his coat. "That's my girl," he nudges me and I stand. "Ready to paint the town?"
I take a deep breath and nod as Jack looks me up and down approvingly. "Purple and green."
...
A/N: Another long wait. I'm sorry. I hope to have another update up by Christmas, but I make no promises. Four chapters remain until the end, and they're all nearly done. I hope you're all still enjoying the story. Thank you to all who have read, reviewed, faved and followed since my last update. You're all amazing :-)
