Last chapter – I will begin to write the eppy ASAP

Thank you, for all your support


Chapter 28

Four months later

BPOV

"Get out my face, I can't handle you right now. Just go, get out." I screamed at Edward. I actually screamed at him.

Masen was in my arms as I tried my best to sooth him. He was shrieking, suffering from some virus. It wasn't serious, but he would been feeling terrible and was only trying to let me know how he felt. Edward on the other hand, he was just being difficult.

He was tired, overworked and had been struggling with Masen as much as me at night but I still couldn't listen to him. I couldn't be there for him. I had to be there for my baby first, sending Edward to the back of the queue.

He looked at me astonished, completely gob smacked that I had just told him that and I knew it was unfair. But I could only handle one at a time.

Our argument had got so out of hand, I couldn't remember the reason why it began in the first place, other than it had, and right now Edward was pulling every little thing up to the forefront, just to add fire to the flames.

"I said get out." I shouted again, shaking Masen in my arms gently all the while shushing him.

"I know baby, I'll just get you more medicine." I promised my little boy, his face scarlet and damp with tears as I could see Edward look at me from the corner of my eye.

The incredible green that Edward had, shone in Masen and looking at him, I could just imaging the torment Edward was having right now. But I still couldn't cope.

When you have a baby there is no instruction manual, there is no book on what to do. I felt so lost. I felt so tired. I felt like thing would never be normal again. Having a baby was much bigger than I could have ever of imagined.

I heard the front door slam and looking up, Edward was gone.

I breathed a sigh of relief before I felt my legs being to fold, sliding down the wall with tears in my eyes and my screaming baby in my arms.

This was not how I had imagined motherhood to be.

I sat there, sobbing, not giving my baby what he truly needed because I felt like I was just to unable too. I felt like there was a ton weight around my neck and it had just broke me.

Eventually I picked myself up and went to the fridge, retrieving Masens medicine. I sat down, placing him on my knee and spooned the liquid, trying to feed him it. He fought me off, hating the bitter taste. I couldn't blame him, I wouldn't want it either.

He had it smudged down his bib and across his hot pink cheeks and my hands trembled as I tried to get him to take it for a second time.

I helped the situation by forcing his mouth open with my finger and forcing him to take it, his cries only growing louder with my bully boy tactics. He tried to spit it out but I kept scraping it from his lips with the spoon and forcing it back in. Eventually, he had his dose.

He kept crying and I held onto him tighter, kissing his sweet scented forehead telling him that I knew how bad I was. I knew I was bad at giving him his medicine. That was Edward department. He fed him it and there was never a complaint. I didn't know how he did it, but he did.

My mind filled with guilt at the way I had told him to leave, at me screaming at him.

In all honesty, we had a lot of arguments but nothing like that. Nothing so volatile. Edward seemed to just snap and I knew it was his condition. Edward had spoke about how he felt it was him that was controlling more of the arguments, rather than the AIP causing it.

Life wasn't bad. It was actually good, but the times when we argued, it just seemed so much more personal. I knew it was Edward that was shouting at me, not his condition, and part of me was thankful that we were at least working through something on our own, be it talking or arguing.

But the fact he was a doctor had me questioning Everything I was doing. Was I doing it right? Was I harming Masen? I had a million other questions, all sounding alike, but no two the same. And I felt that Edward had the answers. He tried telling me he didn't. That this was all new to him too.

The first day Edward was back at work, I freaked out. Convinced that there was something wrong with Masen, I rushed him to the hospital and straight to Edward. There wasn't anything wrong with him, but I doubted my own judgement, not having a professional at my side like I had when Edward was off on paternity leave.

Like I said, It wasn't all bad. There was more good than bad. But sitting with my sobbing baby, my own heart shattered at the way I had treated Edward, I felt like it was never going to get easier.

Masen for the most part was an incredible baby. Well behaved, slept through the nights. I pushed myself to start back at work, and I was also able to do it and still be by Masens side constantly, though doing the two was a lot more demanding than I thought. I was struggling to get the necessary chapters seen to as I tried to keep Masen entertained.

Soon enough the medicine began to kick in and Masen began to relax. He stopped crying and settled pretty quickly before falling asleep.

Placing him into his crib, I quietly crept around the room, picking up dirty clothes and empty bottles.

I headed through to the kitchen and placed the washing in a ball in the floor and let the bottles soak in some warm water.

Heading through me and Edwards room, it was a mess. More clothes littered the floor along with bottles and mugs. I collected them all up, doing with them what I had done with the things from Masens room.

I headed for the living room to be met with an even bigger mess. There was more bottles and mugs along with the papers I had thrown in my distress. A full chapter completely scattered around the room.

I had felt like I had lost it. I just knew I was having a bad day and that I would get through it. I had days like it before, and I had survived.

I tidied up the papers, quickly, before I moved onto trying to find out where my husband had went to.

I needed him here. I needed him to tell me it was okay and that he forgave me, I only hoped that he was able to tell me those words.

Wiping my tears away, I called his mobile and I heard it's ringtone coming from the kitchen. He had left it here as he had sped out the door. Cancelling the call, I tried Emmett's.

"Bella?" Emmett answered.

"Um...Hey, is...is Edward there with you?" I bit down on my lip at the worry of what Emmett would think of me, not knowing where Edward was.

"No, he's not. Everything okay?" his voice was only full of concern and I felt bad.

I kept my sobs in, feeling myself break down again. "We had an argument and I told him to leave. I tried calling him but he left his phone here."

Emmett let out a little sigh, but it wasn't at me. "Bells, don't worry, he'll be back soon. Once he's blew off some steam, he'll be back." he reassured me. "You know, if you want we can watch Masen tonight. I know you're burned out this week with him being ill..."

"It's fine, really." I assured. I needed to be stronger than this. I wiped at my face furious of the evidence that was showing exactly the opposite of what I was saying.

"Let me come get him, please. The two of you are going to be no good to that boy if you keep going like you are. It's okay to ask for help." His sweet tone broke me. The sobs I had held in, came pouring out of me.

"I'll be right over." Was all he said before he ended the call.

I cried hard as I sat there like a ball on the couch. I didn't even hear the door go, but the next thing I knew was Emmett was sitting down beside me, wrapping his arms around me as I sobbed away.

"It's okay, Bella." he promised with that gentle giant tone that only he had.

I shook my head into his chest, dampening his t shirt. "It's not." I mumbled.

"You are not superwoman. You have been working so hard and looking after Masen while he's ill. It's not easy but you have been doing it."

I hadn't though, not really. I had failed on that one.

"Listen, I'll call Alice, see if he went to hers." he offered. "Then once I get hold of him, I'll tell him to get his ass back here and I'll take Masen for the two of you, so you can get caught up on everything."

He looked at me, as if to tell me not to try and even argue.

I went to speak, to tell him we would managed but he jumped in first. "Rosie was just complaining that you don't share him out enough. She wants some time with her nephew. You going to take on Rosie and refuse her that one?" His brow rose at the prospects on me taking on Rose. I would never take on Rose, she would whip my ass in seconds.

Swallowing hard, I admitted defeat and shook my head.

"Good, girl." Emmett told me before flipping out his phone and calling Alice.

Almost instantly he began to speak. "Hey, is he there?...Good...Tell him he's to get back home right now." He cut the phone off and it was almost as if the conversation never happened, it was so quick.

"He'll be home in five minutes." he assured as he patted my knee, trying to comfort me.

Wiping my own tears away. Emmett stood, getting ready for taking Masen. "Right so I better not forget his medicine..." he mumbled to himself.

"Bottles? Do you have some feeds made up." I shook my head knowing I hadn't made any new bottles up. It was something I was just going to do.

"It's fine, give me the formula and I'll get Rose to make it. She knows what to do with that stuff." He picked up Masens changing bag that lay in the corner of the room, opening it up and checking what was in it.

It was full of everything he needed except clothes. "I'll get him some changes of clothes." I said as I stood up, heading for the nursery.

Within a few minutes He was all packed with my baby in his arms. My heart constricted at the thought of being without him when he needed me, but Emmett was right. If I didn't get some rest, I would be no use to him at all. I was already failing him.

Masen lay in Emmett's bulky arms without a sound. reaching down, I kissed Masen on the forehead and Emmett Kissed me on the cheek before leaving.

He hadn't even been in my apartment for five minutes and now he was gone with my boy for the night.

A few minutes later, I heard the front door close gently and I made my way out into the hall from the lounge. Looking a Edward, he had his eyes cast down, silently refusing to meet mine.

I stood there not knowing what to do, the tension growing thicker, the awkwardness becoming unbearable.

"I'm sorry..." I was unsure if I had spoke the words as they had came out so quite, but I had felt the slip of them on my lips.

I rushed to Edward, needing him. I crashed into his chest and I wrapped my arms around him. He didn't have to forgive me, I just needed him to let me hold him, if only for a few moments.

I felt his arms wrap around me, pulling me further into his chest, his breath sweeping down on me before he kissed the top of my head. "I'm sorry, Bella."

Why was he sorry?

I looked up at him, silently questioning his words. "I should never have been shouting at you like that..." he shrugged. "I...I just lost it for a bit of time . I'm so sorry." his words were scratchy and I could hear anguish lace his voice.

"I shouldn't have told you to leave. I should have been...I should have..." I didn't know what I should have done. All I know was I shouldn't have shouted at him like I had.

"Bella, stop. I was wrong. You were pushed. I can't blame you." I never agreed, I kept quiet. I still felt as though I should have been stronger.

"I take it Masen fell asleep?" Obviously aware of the silent apartment.

"He did. But I don't know if he still is. Emmett took him for the night. He said we needed a break."

Edward ran a hand up his face and through his hair, sighing. "I think he's right."

I began to sob again and I knew it was tiredness that was causing it. He smoothed my hair, shushing me but it didn't do much to stop the tears.

"I just feel like I can't do anything right." I covered my mouth trying to calm my cries.

"It's been a hard week...and a long one. We're both done in. He's hardly slept at all and we have been with him constantly. It will get easier again."

I nodded knowing he was right and this was the first real difficult time we had had with Masen and it was because he was unwell.

"Lets get some sleep. I'm just so done in, I can't think how you will be feeling. You have been up all night every night with him."

I only shrugged, trying to ignore the fact that he was right.

Taking me to our room, he stripped me bare, getting me into bed without even bothering with any t shirt. He stripped down to nothing also before climbing in beside me, pulling me into him. Before I knew it, we were both sound asleep.


Waking up, it must have been around five in the morning. Emmett left with Masen around six last night so I had slept for almost ten and a half hours.

I didn't know why I woke, up, I just had. Instinct I guess. I was expecting to have herd Masen cry for me, but he was with Rose and Emmett.

"He'll be fine, love." Edwards sleepy voice called out to me, obviously aware I was awake.

"I...I know, its just strange." I shrugged.

"I know, you body will wonder what is going on with all that sleep." he laughed lightly and I knew that last nights argument wasn't something that could break us. Nothing could. I was sure of it.

But I still felt guilty.

I felt Edward pull me into him, my back against his chest, both of us still completely naked. It was nice to feel his warm skin against mine.

"Love, stop worrying about. About any of it." He knew I was still harbouring the fight in my thoughts and he didn't like it. He didn't like for these things to eat away at me.

"I'm sorry." the words came out be accident, knowing it was the last words Edward wanted to hear from me.

"No more apologies." he ordered with a kiss to my shoulder.

His hand roamed down my bare side and feeling as his hands caress my skin like that was like the first time he had touched me.

We hadn't made love since before we had the baby and I was beginning to forget his touch. He had touched me before, small caresses of the skin but they always seemed more soothing than sexual.

Turning around, I looked into Edwards eyes and saw something. Some kind of want. I felt guilty because I had been so exhausted I had nerve asked how how he was feeling without sex. He never spoke about it and I knew that he was only being understanding. But still, he must have had needs.

I felt like we were on tender hooks, just waiting for the other to press forward. Edward had stroked my skin, now he was leaving it up to me to push forward if that's what I wanted.

It was what I wanted. It was what I craved. I was still exhausted but right now after that static touch from Edward, I had to have him.

I reached forward and kissed him on the lips. My tongue pushing through his mouth so he understood my desire for him.

His tongue met mine and his taste was great. It had even been a good week since I had kissed him with some need. And right now it was all I could think of.

His erection grew between us as he placed his hand upon my hip, pulling me into him.

He broke away, closing his eyes and trying to regain his composure before opening them again. "You know, we don't need to..." we both knew exactly what he was talking about.

"I want too." I promised him with a firm chaste kiss to his lips.

"Are you sure?" The look of hesitation had me worried. Didn't he want me any more?

Glancing down at myself I could see the changes. I understood he accepted me when I was pregnant, but it had been four months and my figure hadn't really changed at all.

"Are you sure?" I asked him back.

He looked confused for a moment until her realized I was questioning him, whether he really wanted to be with me.

"Jesus, Bella, do you know how many times I have knocked one out in the shower at the image right in front of me. I love you and I love every part of you." he said it without conviction but I still struggled to believe him.

"It was just really for some release at first..." he words stung, he only did it fore release? He only thought about me for some release? "Then I thought 'screw that'. I have been fantasizing about you and just having fun on my own. I...I don't mean, that way..." he struggled with his words once again.

He sighed. "All I was meaning was, I knew it wasn't something that was in your mind. That's fine. I never wanted to pressure you. Men, they just function differently..." He shrugged with a guilty look on his face. "Especially when you take bloody Viagra. I even stopped that, but then I just felt that mount up too, I needed the general release, and I couldn't do it without the Viagra. I felt like I shouldn't, as if it was offending you. But I did it before we had the baby, so why stop?" he sighed again in frustration.

"Do I sound like a pervert?" He eyed me sceptically.

I shook my head. He wasn't some pervert. He was giving himself what I couldn't. It was natural to do it. I had touched myself on a few occasions.

"I've done it too." I sheepishly admitted.

His eyes narrowed. "You've been playing with yourself?" he asked amused.

I nodded again feeling ashamed that I hadn't shared this with him before. I knew he could touch me if he was careful not to go too far down, but he hadn't, not wanting to push me, and if I was honest, I was glad he hadn't. He had left that choice up to me.

"You're right, Edward. You give yourself what you need and do it without feeling guilty."

He chuckled lightly. "You're damn right I will be, and that image of you touching yourself will be top of the visuals."

I laughed at his words and found myself relaxing, feeling we had got over one other little huddle.

His fingers trailed my hip again and I felt it tingle from his touch. He was silently asking for me to allow him or deny him.

How could I say no?

Reaching his lips I kissed him as I let my hands reach up into his hair, feeling the soft texture run through my fingers.

I pushed closer to him, my chest pressing against him as his fingers gripped onto the flesh of my side, our kiss deepening.

I needed this.

I thrived on his touch.

Sliding my leg up, I hooked it around his hip, causing him to hiss into my mouth and his grip to grow tighter.

I could feel his hard on press into my lower abdomen and I knew I was never going to refuse him.

He slipped a hand between us, touching me gently, stroking my clit. I struggled to keep in my whimpers of pleasure and I remembered we could make all the noise we wanted too, the apartment was empty.

His hand reached further down and I cold sense his uneasiness. I was fine, he knew that, but we both knew it wouldn't be like how it was before, not straight away at least.

He broke away from my mouth and looked me deep in the eyes. The jade pierced my soul and he only consumed me more and more.

"We don't need too..." he whispered out, and I knew for my self I needed this, never mind him.

"I want to, I want you." he only nodded at my words as he brought his hand back up, running it up my back and resting it on my shoulder before he swept away the hair from my neck.

He placed a trail of small damp kisses along my skin and knew I was ready for this. I felt a small bubble of apprehension at it, wondering if the change would be terrible. I hoped not.

"I'll be gentle." he promised. I could have laughed at the tone of his words, as if he was taking my virtue. But I didn't, because he was being extremely sweet and understanding.

He caressed almost every inch of my skin, relaxing me and teasing me at the same time. I was beginning to grow a little impatient for him.

He touched me and knew I was ready for him, as he pulled my leg higher up his hip, he penetrated me gently.

I could have wept from the intense gaze in his eyes, his mind constantly gauging my reaction and my comfort.

It wasn't comfortable at first, but as I took more of him slowly I began to feel myself relax a little more and it became a little more enjoyable.

"Are you okay?" his honey voice croaked out and I gave a little nod telling him I was fine.

I didn't feel entirely fine but I didn't want him to feel bad, for me to put him off. He deserved this.

As our two bodies moved with one another I began to feel only pleasure, the discomfort slowly dissipating.

His hands swept up my sides before he gently began to palm my breasts. It was amazing, the sensation, for him to be touching me. I couldn't believe I had gone so long without this.

My hunger for him only jumped and I pressed my self on, letting myself go and consumed him, consumed all of what I needed from him right in this moment.

Edward came fast and I couldn't blame him. It had been so long. I never climaxed but I was still more than content with what I had. I had him with me, the two of us together.

Edward spilled into me, his body jolting from the sensation and I held onto him tight, happy I was still able to satisfy my husband.

I kissed his neck and pulled gently on his hair, pulling him along with his orgasm. He slumped forward into me and I relished the weight of him on me once again. I had missed it also, but it was something I had been missing for a lot longer, Edward, ever cautious not to put weight on me during my pregnancy.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him into me, rolling onto my back and enjoying the full weight of him against me.

He sniggered in my ear, fully aware of what I was doing. "You really like that?" he sounded amused and confused all at the same time .

"Yes. I like to have you there." I settled my legs around him, Edward laying in between them. This was exactly how I loved Edward to lie with me.

"I'll crush you, you are tiny." he joked.

"I'm not as tiny any more." I shrugged, knowing the extra weight I had gained hadn't really left me, making me still self-conscious.

"You, Swan, are still tiny." He shifted down my body, his lips grazing off of my stomach. "But I love the little curves you have now." I felt a strong grip on my bottom. "And that ass...god, that ass..." he laughed as he palmed my backside with both hands, pulling me further down the bed and back underneath him.

His look instantly changed, his smile faded and he looked concerned. "Are you okay? Like do you feel okay?" he indicated his head down below, asking me if it was painful for him to make love to me.

"I'm fine." I told him with a smile.

"Fine?" he questioned. I was fine. "You never came. Do you want too or are you feeling too sensitive?"

I bit my lip and instantly he released it. "I'm a little sensitive inside, but it was good, I enjoyed it."

He nodded at my words before giving me a soft gentle kiss on the lips. "Do you...do you want me to give you a hand at the rest of it?" he quirked an eyebrow at me and it was so sweet, he seemed a little nervous.

I didn't know what to say or do. I wanted him, I wanted him to touch me and give me that release but I felt oddly shy in that moment. Vulnerable.

His nose grazed along my cheek and I relaxed under his tender touch once more and nodded my head.

We lay where we were as he leaned on one arm,stabilizing himself as his other hand began to touch me. "Let me know if I hurt you okay?" I nodded at his words, all the while looking into his green eyes.

His fingers traced my damp skin, circling my centre while all he while being gentle not to to do something I couldn't handle.

Our eyes never parted once, that soulful gaze looking right through me as I felt the pleasure begin to bubble.

He watched with amusement as I shifted below him, seeing it was only pleasure that etched my face.

Quickly I felt myself loose control and I closed my eyes trying to hold onto myself but Edward wasn't having it. "Open your eyes, Love." he whispered into my ear, My eyes opening up instantly and my being, shook moments later as my pleasure arrived. My hand gripped his, telling him to keep it going and I let the waves of pleasure fold out for a moment more.

I couldn't keep my eyes open after that. I closed them before I felt Edwards gentle kisses on my neck, shifting us back up to the pillows of the bed.

I shifted my arms around him once more, my grip, tight. He shifted me on to my side, my head resting on his chest and before I knew it, I was drifting off to sleep once more.


His nose brushed along the back of the shell of my ear as his arms wrapped around my waist even tighter before then kissing me in the crook of my neck.

We were in the shower – together, and it was great. I had forgot the last time I had a shower and had actually been able to enjoy it. All it ever was used for was to wash, no pleasure of relaxing under the hot spray.

But here I was, with Edward and we were in it together.

We had woke up a few hours later and lay in one another's arms for a little bit more, just talking about al the changes. We knew they were drastic but we wouldn't want it any other way. I was positive and so was Edward.

In the past four months we grew use to the idea that Masen had the condition and accepted it, what we struggled with truly was this whole new responsibility.

We both knew we were trying as hard as we could and that was all we could offer. We had realized that not long ago in bed after talking it through. The fight, the shouting. It all meant nothing. What was important was that we got through the first struggle together because then we knew we would make it through whatever was ahead. AIP tantrums from a teenager, included.

I felt so much lighter than I did last night. Last night it was as if a huge black cloud was over me and I could understand how Edward would feel when he was consumed by it. It was exhausting and terrifying at the same time. It literally felt like I was drowning, that I just couldn't catch breath.

Edward reached forward, turning off the shower. I couldn't complain. Any longer and the water would have been turning cold

I felt him wrap a huge towel around me before placing a small one over my head and trying to get all the excess water out of my hair. He patted him self off roughly before focusing his attention back on me again, rubbing at my arms, over the towel.

This was the Edward that I loved, the one that wrapped you up and took care of you. I loved Edward, full stop. But this side of him was always so gentle and attentive. It was as if he was caring for a prized possession.

"I thought since it was a nice day, we could go out a walk?" Edward asked. "The three of us." he finished off.

It was a nice day, summer was here and we hadn't saw any of it, yet. "That sounds nice." I nodded as I felt Edwards hands still pat away the damp from the shower, turning me away from him, his gentle strokes, drying the water off of my back.

"Maybe even grab some food, and have a bit of a picnic?" he shrugged, eyeing me up in the mirror.

I smiled and turned to face him before offering him a small kiss on the lips. "That would be really nice." it was the perfect idea.

"I think it's just what we deserve." It was at least what Edward deserved.

"You certainly deserve it." he told me, completely serious.

He draped my towel across my shoulders before smacking me gently on the backside, over my towel that I wore. I only laughed feeling like thing were beginning to settle on even ground once more.

"Lets get ready, I'll get changed and pick up Masen and make sure that he is all ready to go."

Leading me through to our bedroom, he left me to my own devices as he began to dress himself. In minutes he was ready for the day and I was still looking for the underwear to match my bra. Edward was trying, so it was the least I could do. I knew he expected nothing of me, not after this morning, but it made me feel good about myself too.

Edward disappeared and returned after ten minutes and once I was ready, we were off to the park to enjoy the sun we were given.


Finding a huge tree, we had sat down in the shade, laying out a shawl and stretching out. The park was busy but we had managed to find our own little utopia in amongst it all.

Edward had been constantly tugging at the hood of Masens pram, protecting him from any rays at all, he had even got a little mesh cover so to protect him from the UV as much a possible. He was always so concerned about his pale skin and I suppose knowing the pain it could cause, he was just doing his best.

Masen had cried for most of the walk but the noise around us seemed to drown him out a little and his cries blended in with the calls of the other children in the park. I knew he wasn't feeling to great but the fresh air would be good for him and he was due his next dose of medicine, so once we had settled we fed him it and he settled once again.

Sitting in the shade, Edward held him in close as we ate some lunch that we had picked up on the way and it was in complete contrast to how it had all been the evening before.

I suppose when life gets hard, its best just to accept those times and when its good, relish those ones.

Looking at my little boy resting in his dads arms, I couldn't help think how different it could have all been if I had ever bowed down to Edwards demands. I knew that even after last nights episode, I couldn't ever be happier and looking at Edward with that proud look on his face, I knew he felt the same.

This baby could have torn us apart but instead he only brought us closer like how I had imagined. All of Edwards, worries and woes had vanished and he had never struggled with the baby with his condition. I knew that it could happen, but so far there was nothing. The only real issue arising from his condition had been last night and it was directed at me. And when I struggled, he backed away before coming back to me, calm and collected.

Leaning forward I scooped Masen from Edwards arms and though he never put up a fight, you could tell he was al little put out by it.

"Hey." his words were low but the were joking. "It was my turn." his pouted lips blossoming, so I stole a quick peck at the same time.

I wanted a shot. "I want a shot." I told him right back squarely but still teasing. The atmosphere was so relaxed I don't think it was possible to do serious.

He rolled his eyes gave a soft shrug and sighed. "I think we should get another night off sometime." He looked at me questioningly, no doubt waiting for me to argue it but I felt like he was right.

I nodded. "I know...it was good to have a good sleep." I felt as if I had been reborn, I felt I had so much more energy and that cloud that seemed to constantly fill my mind, seemed clearer. "Maybe we should, I know their all happy to help us out."

The support we had from them had been astounding, the thing was, we had constantly refused them. My own stubbornness getting he better of me.

"Maybe even a dirty weekend away." he whispered out with a wink.

I had to laugh at that one, the first time we have sex in months and he's already planning a dirty weekend away. Though I did like the idea of it myself.

"Only if you promise some good food too." Then we had a done deal.

He laughed, nodding and agreeing. "Anything you want, Love." he leaned forward, stretching out to kiss me on the cheek.

He shifted on the shawl, sitting behind me and wrapping his arms around my waist and his right hand stroking the apple of Masens cheek.

"Who do you think he's more like?" Edward a asked , looking down at Masne.

There wasn't a doubt that it was Edwards son, he was the double of him, but I knew he was asking about his mannerisms but I struggled to think.

I shrugged. "I don't know. He's pretty well behaved but when he cries, god he's loud." We laughed knowing how right it was.

He was a charmer when he wanted to be, a lot like his daddy. He smiled away at you for ages without a break, he definitely seemed to try and communicate with us well.

"I suppose we will just have to wait and see who he's like." I still had a little hope that he would posses Edward's traits. I knew Edward only saw the bad, but he had a heart of gold and I knew if Masen ever loved someone like Edward loved me, they were extremely lucky.

I really didn't know how I got so lucky.

With the air growing cold, we packed up, Edward instructing me to tend to Masen as he cleared away the rubbish. He placed it in a trash bin not to far away and rushed back to us, wrapping an arm around my waist as I pushed the pram.

I couldn't ever truly complain that the hand I had been given. I was blessed and I knew that. Last night was just one of those bumps in the road. The only way forward to the next good time, was to push yourself forward and move on to it.

There would be days when it would be hell, I wasn't naive to that fact. I had days over the past decade that I would never want to think about again. But it was the memories of better times, better times that reminded me that when life gets hard, it can only ever get better.


a/n: ohh I hope to god you liked that – but we do still have the eppy to come.

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