Chapter Twenty-nine – Finding the Other Half
For weeks, it seemed like Lila was going through life in a haze. Once the Woods were no longer part of her life, she felt like she was missing a limb. She hadn't realized how big a part they were until they were gone. Which just made her feel even more miserable because she knew it was all her fault.
Thankfully no one at the office had given her a hard time about the breakup. She looked so miserable that they gave her space.
With a large void, Lila threw herself into work, hoping to fill it. Even though it meant going to games and being forced to watch Jamie, Remus, Alan and Daisy from the press box. She found that she took a certain voyeuristic joy in it. For a few hours, she could pretend that everything was alright and she was still talking to them. But then the match would end and it would hit her as she walked towards the apparition points that she couldn't go to the after party to congratulate them.
Then the tears would start and she would quickly apparate home and sit at her desk to write out the report on the game as quickly as possible with her father watching concerned from the sitting room. Once that got annoying, she started going straight to the office to write. She even started volunteering to take on more and more games and events just to fill her time.
Which is what she was doing that Saturday night. Puddlemere had just beat the Pride 250-300. It was Jamie's first game back after the accident and it was almost as though he had never gotten hurt. Lila was beyond relieved to see him doing so well and even found herself cheering nearly every time he made a save.
Unfortunately, the press box was located right next to the players' box at Portree. Lila had intentionally stayed behind awhile after the game ended, hoping to avoid running into any of the Woods or their significant others or friends. She made a show of going over her notes and slowly packing up her bag before deeming that a sufficient amount of time had passed before making her way out of the empty room.
She pushed the door opened and not hearing anyone in the passageway, quickly stepped out and started walking quickly to the apparition point. Just as she passed the players' box, the door opened as a small figure hurdled out, nearly running into Lila.
"Beg your pardon!" the figure exclaimed. Lila's eyes widened as she stood face to face with Daisy Wood.
"It's no problem at all," she said quickly before starting to walk down the hall.
"Lila!" Daisy shouted after her. Lila didn't stop, not wanting to face the wrath of the youngest Wood. Tears started to fill her eyes as she flew down the stairs, praying that Daisy wouldn't follow her.
It felt like she didn't breathe until she finally reached her office, stumbling over to her desk.
"You know you don't have to turn that in until Monday, right?" Mark Wimble, her co-worker, said as he walked up to her. Lila smiled slightly.
"Just like to get it out of the way so I can enjoy the rest of the weekend with my father," she said. He nodded, a look of concern on his face.
"Alright, then. I'm going to head out. Don't stay too late. It is Saturday after all. I'm heading to the Puddlemere after party if you want to meet me there after-" Mark grimaced as he realized what he was saying. "Sorry about that…"
Lila blinked and smiled.
"It's alright. I forget sometimes too," she said softly. He nodded.
"If you want to talk or anything… just send me a message. I can meet you for a drink after you're done," he said, his eyes showing genuine concern.
"It's fine. I'm actually a bit tired so I'll probably just head home after I finish," she said. He nodded.
"Have a good night, Lila," he said.
"You too."
Once he had left, Lila sat back in her chair, massaging her temples as she closed her eyes. The tears were back.
"So, this is where you spend all your time now?" Daisy said as she stepped around the corner. Lila sat up, looking over at the small seeker decked out in a Puddlemere jersey. All the color that was left in her face quickly drained out.
"How did you know I was here?" she asked. Daisy shrugged.
"Went to your house first, but your dad said you'd be here as you liked to file your reports right after the match," she said. "I can orb now, so makes getting around a bit easier." Lila nodded silently before taking a deep breath.
"Okay, I'm ready," she said solemnly. Daisy looked confused.
"Ready for what?" she asked.
"For you to yell at me. I deserve it," Lila replied. Daisy stared at her a moment before walking over and sitting in the chair at the desk next to Lila's.
"To be honest, I thought perhaps I would when I first saw you at the stadium. Or hex you. Wasn't sure which. But seeing you… you're doing just as bad as Jamie," she said. Lila frowned.
"He's… not well?" she asked. Daisy sighed and shook her head no.
"Between your breakup and everything with… he's pretty bad," she said truthfully.
"In the beginning, I did want to hurt him. Hurt all of you. But you have to believe me, that's not what I wanted in the end. I had the chance to tell Hardwick and I didn't," Lila said. "I don't expect you or anyone in your family to believe me, but it is true. I came to… I realized that I did actually need you all. And life has been… quite difficult without you." She looked at the floor, fiddling with the hem of her blouse.
"To be honest, I think he needed you too," Daisy said softly. Lila looked up at her. "He can… he feels you. Your emotions and such."
"What?" Lila said.
"We don't really understand it much," she said. "But… whatever it is we have… it connects us to those we love. Family and… others. He's been able to feel your emotions. He still feels them." Lila was silent a few moments, taking in this new development.
"He feels them all the time?" she asked.
"Typically it's only when nearby. But it can tell us when our loved ones are in danger. And sometimes whenever they are feeling something particularly strong, we can feel it," Daisy replied.
"Do you feel John?" Lila asked. Daisy's eyes flickered up to her from her shoes, studying the older woman a moment.
"No," she said. "He keeps asking about it and I have to keep telling him I don't."
"Perhaps, it'll come," Lila offered. Daisy sighed again.
"Maybe. But that's not why I followed you," she said. "I wanted to hear your side… Were you really in love with my brother?"
"I still am," Lila said.
"And you really had decided not to go forward with any devious plans?"
"I had. I had been avoiding Hardwick for weeks and then he cornered me at the ball. And I just couldn't. I found I didn't want to. I loved Jamie too much to do that to him," Lila said. Daisy nodded slowly.
"He won't admit it, but he misses you," she said. "I can feel him whenever someone mentions you. Of course, there's still anger there. But beyond that, I can tell he still loves you." Lila sighed.
"A lot of good that will do. I'm pretty sure Jamie will never give me another chance. Nor your family," she said, sitting back in her chair. "Not after this time."
"See, that's the thing about my family… we're kind of suckers for second and third and fourth chances," Daisy said, a slight smile on her face. Lila looked up at her.
"But don't they all hate me now?" she asked.
"Dad's no too thrilled. Remus and Alan, well, they are too busy trying to cheer up Jamie to really feel one way or the other too much. They are upset – you betrayed all of us in a way – but I don't think anyone really, truly hates you. Mum… she honestly wants you two to work things out," Daisy said.
"She sent me a few owls. I didn't have the heart to read them, to be honest," Lila said.
"I kept the ones you sent Jamie. He told us to burn them, but I held on to them, thinking he might like to read them once he's calmed down," Daisy said. Tears pricked at Lila's eyes again as she laughed haggardly.
"Why are you so kind to me? You shouldn't be. Really, you should hex me," she said. Daisy smiled.
"For once, I actually don't think you deserve to be hexed," she said softly. "I just… yea, it hurt when John told us. But… I just keep thinking about you and how you grew up… and it makes me think that maybe… maybe what you need right now is us showing you what real family is… and real family doesn't give up on each other," Daisy said. "I also believe that everything we saw with you, it wasn't all an act. I saw you at Christmas – how genuinely happy you were. And how you were with Jamie. I don't think it's possible for someone to be that good at pretending." Lila nodded.
"I wasn't acting most of the time – especially at Christmas. Being with your family, being accepted, it's really all I had ever wanted. Once I realized that I had that… that's when I knew that I couldn't do anything. I was… that day I had intended on confessing everything to Jamie. I wanted to say nothing and just pretend I never planned anything, but… I knew that I would need to be honest with him… with all of you," she said.
Daisy studied her a moment before nodding and standing.
"Well then, I guess we should go," she said. Lila looked at her confused.
"Go where?"
"To the after party. So you can explain all of this to Jamie," Daisy said matter-of-factly. Lila stared at her, stunned.
"I can't go there," she said. "I can't. Everyone there hates me."
"I just told you that we don't," Daisy said, rolling her eyes.
"Maybe you and your brothers don't, but I'm sure John and everyone else does," Lila said. She turned to face her desk. "I can't go to that party."
"But you need to talk to Jamie," Daisy said. Lila shook her head.
"He doesn't want to speak to me. He said… he said he never wanted to see me again," she said dully.
"He doesn't mean it," Daisy said exasperatedly. Lila looked at her, her eyes full of sorrow.
"I'm sorry, Daisy. I can't go with you," she said. Daisy took a deep breath and nodded.
"Very well," she said. She turned and left. Once Lila was sure she was gone, she laid her head on her desk and started crying.
"Daisy, where have you been?" Jamie heard Remus shout. He looked over from where he was standing with Wills. She said something to him and looked around the room, her eyes settling on Jamie. She scowled and started marching over to him.
"Pix! There you are my love!" Wills exclaimed.
"Shut it, Wills," she said, grabbing Jamie by the collar and dragging him towards the balcony. Once there, she turned around and crossed her arms in front of her. "You need to talk to Lila."
Jamie laughed haggardly as he ran his hands through his hair.
"No, I don't. We're done," he said. Daisy narrowed her eyes at him.
"No, you're not," she countered. "You've been miserable since the breakup. I saw her today and she's miserable too."
"You saw Lila?"
"Yea, I went to her office and spoke with her. She feels really bad about everything. And she still loves you," she said.
"Doesn't matter, Pix. She used me. She was going to expose me," he said.
"She said she changed her mind. That she was coming over here to confess everything to you when John went and opened his big mouth first," she said.
"How do we know that's true?" he asked.
"You would know if you looked into her mind," Daisy said.
"No. I'm done with her," he said. Daisy sighed and stared at her brother a bit longer.
"She needs us, Jamie. She needs family and we're her family. Also, you need her. I've seen how you've changed since you've been with her. She makes you better," she said. "Look, I know it's hard to get over, but you need to at the very least hear her out. Families don't give up on each other. And you giving up on her is just continuing the cycle that she's been forced to endure since she was a child." Jamie stared at his sister a moment.
"Besides, haven't you even felt that the only reason she's ever been the way she is, is because she's had no one to show her what a real family is? How to love? No one in her life has ever stuck around. She needs you to stick around."
"Never thought you'd be the one to stick up for Lila," he said softly.
"Someone has to besides Mum," Daisy replied. Jamie studied her a moment, wondering just when his younger sister had grown up and become wise. He shrugged.
"I'll talk to her… I just don't think I can do it right now," he said. Daisy nodded.
"Just as long as you do," she said before turning and walking back inside. Jamie turned and looked over the street.
"What was that about?" John asked, stepping out.
"She wants me to talk to Lila," he said without looking at his friend.
"What on earth for? She tried to ruin you guys. Again," John said with a scowl.
"Daisy seems to believe her. That she hadn't wanted to go through with it. And that she had planned to tell me that night," he said. John walked over and grabbed Jamie's arm, turning him to face him.
"You can't believe her. This is the second time she's come after you. She'll never change," he urged. Jamie studied his friend a moment, allowing himself to think back to his time with Lila. To her tearful confession. How he had felt true guilt and sorrow pouring through their connection.
"I don't know, mate. I think most anyone can change… Even Lila," he said. He thought back to their time alone. Her vulnerability. How she had opened up to him. Suddenly, he knew what he needed to do. "I gotta go." He closed his eyes and suddenly, he was gone, leaving John standing there confused.
"God, I hate they can do that now," he muttered.
When Jamie opened his eyes, he was standing in the den at Lila's house, having bypassed all the wards. He looked over and saw Marcus in the kitchen, fixing tea. The older man looked shocked to see the giant quidditch player in his house.
"Jamie," he said with a nod. Jamie's eyes widened.
"Mr. Flint," he said. "I was… I need to speak with Lila." Marcus nodded.
"She's not here. But I suspect she'll be along soon. Likes to file her reports at the office right after the match. Have a seat," he said, motioning to the kitchen table. Jamie walked over and sat, feeling a little anxious sitting with Lila's father.
Marcus brought the tea over and sat next to Jamie.
"How has she been?" Jamie asked.
"Not much better than you, from the look of it," Marcus said. "She's… she's been struggling." Jamie nodded, staring at his tea cup.
"I guess I haven't been hiding it as well as I thought," Jamie said. "I probably should have spoken to her sooner…"
"I can see why you wouldn't," Marcus said. "But… she does love you, Jamie. Your whole family. Just… being with you all, I could see her start to come alive. You lot were giving her something I should have… but couldn't because of my past mistakes." Jamie studied the older man as he looked down at his hands.
"I, well, I loved her mother in a way," he continued. "Not like I should have though. I should have given up everything the second I found out she was pregnant. I should have… I don't know. There are so many times that, looking back, I see many times when I could have stopped. That I had an opportunity to change… and then I let my anger take over.
"I never got to see her when she was born. I heard the news. And I wanted to go see her. But… I didn't," Marcus said. He looked up at Jamie. "The one thing I regret more than anything is that I wasn't there for her when she needed me. Because of my choices and actions, I condemned her to the life she lived. And that's something I don't think I'll ever forgive myself for. If I can say anything to you, Jamie, don't give up on her." Jamie nodded solemnly.
"Papa, I'm home!" Lila called as she walked into the house. "I'm a bit tired so I think I'll just head to bed."
"Lila, could you come in here a moment," Marcus called. Jamie heard footsteps as Lila walked down the hall. He turned to look at her as she stopped suddenly.
"Lila," he said, standing to face her. Her skin looked deathly pale and there were dark smudges under her eyes as though she hadn't been sleeping. The fact that her clothes were hanging a bit loose on her frame told him she hadn't been eating much either.
Immediately, her eyes filled up with tears, though she straightened her back.
"Jamie, what are you doing here?" she asked, a flash of her former self coming through.
"I came to talk," he said. Lila nodded, stepping into the kitchen fully.
"Then, let's talk," she said. Marcus stood.
"I'll give you some privacy," he said before walking out. Lila wrapped her arms around herself, staring at Jamie, a mix of emotions playing across her face. He could feel that she was afraid. But there was a part of her elated to see him.
"Daisy spoke with me," he started. "She told me about your talk." Lila nodded. "She… she seems to believe you."
"She has no reason to, to be honest," Lila said. "I wouldn't have blamed her if she didn't."
The two stared at each other silently a few moments.
"She reminded me that… well, she said that…" Jamie fidgeted. He took a deep breath and looked into her mind.
"You wicked girl! I told you I wanted your room spotless!" an older woman shouted before wacking a small girl with a stick.
He then saw Lila as a young teen girl, staring defiantly at the same woman, tears in her eyes.
"I am not wicked like my father," she said, clenching her fists.
"The same blood runs through you. The same evil in him is in you!" the woman shouted.
Jamie saw many, many more scenes from Lila's past. Too similar to what he had seen from his mother's mind. He found his anger leaving him.
"Are you… did you see?" Lila said, realizing what was going on. Her eyes filled with tears as she looked away. "I wasn't sure I wanted you to see that…"
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have intruded but… some things that Daisy said. I had to see," Jamie said. Lila looked up at him, her eyes bright with tears.
"I suppose we have no secrets now," she said, attempting to smile, but failing miserably.
"I can… I can understand why you… You didn't deserve that, Lila," he said.
"And your family didn't deserve the blame," she said. "Neither does my father. All the blame lies with those horrible people. I see that now." Jamie nodded, still grim-faced. He studied Lila, suddenly seeing her in a new light. She wasn't some evil, conniving person. She was a survivor. He now suddenly realized why his mother had done everything that she had for Lila and her father.
"Truth be told, I've been miserable," Jamie said finally, with a slight smile. "Despite everything… it's just not the same without you." Lila nodded.
"I could say the same," she said softly. Jamie looked into her mind, seeing the nights she cried herself to sleep. Her conversations with her father.
"I don't deserve to be forgiven…"
"He'll never love me again…"
He saw the argument with Maisie. The confession to her father. His encouragement to be honest with Jamie. Her fear when he was injured. The pain she felt when she saw him on the pitch.
Then he saw her with Hardwick at the ball.
"I'm done with this game," she said. "I have nothing to say to you." Hardwick laughed.
"You've gone soft," he said.
"I have not. I'm still just as tough and strong as I was before. I just realized there are more important things in life than petty revenge. You're on your own if you want to take down the Woods. I will not help."
"Lila… I…"
"It's okay, Jamie. You have no reason to forgive me. I don't hold it against you. I've… it's my fault," she said softly.
"But… I do believe you. Does it still hurt, yes. But… I do believe you," he said. Lila stared at him in shock. She couldn't speak. Jamie quickly stepped over to her, pulling her into his arms. It felt… right. Like he had been missing his other half and now he was whole again. Lila rested her head against his chest as the tears fell down her cheeks.
"I'm so sorry, Jamie," she whispered. "I'm so, so sorry." Jamie rubbed her back.
"I know, Lila. It's okay. I forgive you," he said, finding it a bit surprising that he truly did. Lila stepped back and looked up at him.
"But, everyone else…"
"They'll come around," he said with a slight smile. "We've already got Daisy on our side." She laughed softly.
"I've missed you. So much," she said.
"I've missed you as well," he said, gently wiping a tear away with his thumb. "Just… promise me… from this point on… no more secrets." She nodded.
"I won't keep anything from you," she said softly. Jamie sighed.
"In that vein… there's something I need to tell you…"
One more chapter to go and then this one is done. Can't believe it's nearly finished...
As always, thank you for reading, following and reviewing. I appreciate all the love this series has gotten. I enjoy writing it and it warms my heart to see that folks enjoy reading it.
