I do not own Star Wars: Rebels in any capacity.

I'm honestly not terribly pleased with this mini-arc (this and next chapter), but it needed to happen for a variety of reasons. Hope it's still enjoyable!

Anyway, enjoy chapter 29!


They were late.

That in of itself was not unusual. If there was one thing Ezra has learned over the past year, it was that Kanan and Hera's jobs never went as planned. But things were different this time.

It had been fourteen hours since Hera or Kanan had checked in.

Chopper was sitting next to him, one of his manipulators on Ezra's shoulder. He had given up trying to make Ezra feel better, partially - Ezra suspected - because Chopper was just as worried as he was.

The last meal Ezra had eaten was ten hours ago. Despite Chopper's best efforts, Ezra had refused to go to sleep. He had, at one point, curled up on Kanan's bed. The scent had made him feel minutely better, but as more and more time passed, the horrible sickly anxiety in his stomach only got worse. Ezra was both exhausted and keyed up. Three hours ago, it reached a point where it had paralyzed him. He curled up on the ramp, keeping an eye and ear out for the Phantom, and had barely moved since.

However, it was not the worrying delay that terrified Ezra most. No, that honor belonged to Ezra's sense of Kanan. Particularly, the fact that their bond felt extremely weak.

Kanan usually put a block up during missions in order to focus. That's how he explained it to Ezra. It was a thick curtain that made sure Ezra didn't unwittingly broadcast anything that might distract Kanan and put him in danger. Ezra could push through and make contact with Kanan if he really wanted to, but he never has. Ezra knew it was important for Kanan to remain focused on their missions.

But this? This was like the bond - the thick rope that tied them together - was fraying. Or like it was being pushed down to almost nothingness. It terrified Ezra. It was too much like the wall Kanan had put up before he abandoned Ezra on Ossus.

Ezra was holding Caleb tightly, his face buried in his fur. He was clinging to all his memories from the past year. The feeling of Kanan's arms around him, the sound of Kanan's voice as he assured Ezra that he was never going to leave him behind again, all the brief moments they shared over their bond, the pride and love he could feel from Kanan… With all these memories in mind, Ezra repeatedly told himself that everything was okay. That Kanan was coming back.

But even as he tried to bury himself in these reassurances, he felt as though the bond between them was slipping away. Cruel voices danced around him mockingly, crawling all over his skin and digging into his brain. They were yanking Ezra back into older memories. Memories of Kanan leaving him, of his relatives sneering at him. The voices grew louder, telling Ezra that Kanan was just waiting for the right opportunity to dump him. There was no reason to keep him around. He was just a useless nobody, a freeloading sewer rat who should have been put down when he was born.

Ezra suddenly blinked, realizing that the bond was starting to feel a little less slippery. While it was still heavily muffled, it didn't feel so… tenuous. He slowly lifted his head, gazing blankly out at the Lothalian plains as he felt the bond slowly strengthening. It didn't do much to relieve the mind numbing panic that had lodged into his brain, but it was better than before.

Something beeped, and Chopper suddenly swiveled his head toward Ezra, excitedly telling him he was getting a message from Hera. It wasn't a holo, just a coded binary message, but apparently she was telling him that they were going to be back in an hour.

Ezra looked over at Chopper hesitantly. "K-Kanan?" he asked.

Chopper hummed for a moment, considering what he was about to say. Ezra's anxiety spiked. What was wrong? Was Kanan not with her?

Then Chopper slowly said that there had been an accident, but Mom and the Stupid Jedi were okay now.

He relaxed minutely at that. "W-What kinda accident…?"

Chopper just shrugged before grabbing Ezra's jumper and gently tugging on it, insisting that he had to eat something before they got back. Ezra gave a small nod, slowly getting up and following Chopper to the galley. He reached over their bond, trying to make contact with Kanan…

Still nothing.

Ezra's grip on Caleb tightened. If they were both okay now, why was Kanan still keeping him out? The bond continued to twist - becoming stronger and thicker again - but Ezra still couldn't actually reach Kanan.

Chopper shoved a ration bar into his hand, and Ezra shakily opened it before forcing himself to chew on it. It felt tougher than normal, making it difficult to chew. His mouth was unnaturally dry as he fidgeted. What was going on? From what Chopper had said, Kanan was with Hera, which meant he was coming back. But why hadn't he opened up their bond then? Why was Kanan still pushing him out?

At the sound of the Phantom's engines, Ezra immediately ran to the Common Room, gazing up at the hatch anxiously. Every moment felt agonizingly long as he listened. There was loud clang as the Phantom slid into place. Then there was the low whir of the shuttle magnetizing with the Ghost. The engines did their normal hiccup before powering down, the shuttle going through it's shut down sequence. Then Ezra could hear some muffled talking and some slow moving footsteps.

The hatch finally opened, and Ezra could only see Hera. He still had an arm wrapped around Caleb as he gripped one of the ladder rungs tightly. "Kanan!" he cried out.

"I'm okay, Ezra…" His voice was low and gravelly. Strained, like he was in pain.

"Step back, love. I need to help him get down." Hera was smiling, but her eyes were crinkled in worry.

Ezra took a few steps back, his body stiff with tension as he held Caleb tightly. He shifted restlessly from foot to foot as he watched Hera climbed down a few rungs. Then she stopped, reaching up with one hand as Kanan slowly started to step down. Hera placed her hand up against Kanan, helping him stay steady as he shakily climbed down. As for Kanan, he was shirtless, a large white bandage wrapped around his middle. His skin was pale, like when he was sick but not quite as sweaty or blotchy. His muscles were trembling with effort.

"Kanan…!" Ezra moaned, practically hopping in place in agitation.

"It's not that bad…" Kanan growled through gritted teeth.

Hera rolled her eyes, her annoyance loud in the Force. "You're not fooling anyone, Kanan."

They made it all the way down the ladder, but Ezra kept himself from tackling Kanan like he usually did. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt Kanan more. Instead he kept a death grip on his lothwolf. "What happened?!" he asked, his voice squeaking.

"I may or may not have been shot…" Kanan said as Hera helped him over to the holotable bench.

Ezra felt his insides go cold. Kanan was shot? Like, shot shot? Like, that thing that usually kills people? It felt like the oxygen in the Ghost was being sucked away as Ezra realized what was happening to their bond earlier. The fraying, the slipperiness... Kanan had been dying.

"We had to stop at a med center in Imperial space," Hera explained. "That's why we weren't able to contact you earlier."

Kanan let out a low moan as he sat down. "I'll be okay, kiddo."

Ezra shook his head, slamming himself against the wall that still held strong in their bond. "You're not okay! Why are you pushing me out?! Why won't you let me in?!"

Hera stepped closer to him, her hand outstretched to comfort him. "Ezra, sweetheart…"

Ezra immediately stepped back, his eyes fixed on Kanan as they filled with tears. "You promised! You promised you'd never push me out again…!"

Kanan's eyes widened in realization. He spoke frantically as the wall thinned and slowly disappeared "Ezra, I'm so sorry! I didn't realize! I just did it because I didn't want you to scare you…!"

"IT DIDN'T WORK!" Ezra yelled, panting heavily as all of the pent up anxiety, fear, and worry twisted together and exploded out of him. "I didn't know what was going on, and I knew something was wrong, and I thought you might be leaving me for good even though that didn't make any sense, and you weren't responding!"

He could feel Kanan reaching over their bond to comfort him, but it just made Ezra angrier. He pushed Kanan out. "You promised me!"

"Ezra, I'm so sorry…!"

Something in Ezra snapped. "No you're NOT! If you were sorry, you wouldn't have DONE it!" he screamed, tears running down his face.

"Ezra...!"

He shook his head. He couldn't do this. He couldn't breathe, he could hardly think... So Ezra ran out. He ran straight to his own room, locking the door behind him and curling up in the far corner, not bothering to turn the lights on. He could sense Kanan gently probing him, but Ezra shoved him aside. He was angry. Frustrated. Why would Kanan do something like this? Kanan had been hurt, shot, struggling to even move, and he wanted to push Ezra out?!

Ezra was crying, and he wasn't even sure why. He wasn't sad or scared. He was just… angry.

He was starting to think Chopper had a point. Kanan was stupid.


"... Kriff…" Kanan moaned, burying his face in his hands.

Hera's eyes were wide as she looked in the direction Ezra had disappeared to. That was not the reaction she had been expecting. Her gaze zeroed in on Kanan. "What did you do?"

"Why do you assume it's my fault?" Kanan replied indignantly.

"Well, I'm assuming you were apologizing to him for some reason..."

Kanan scowled, leaning back against the bench with a small wince of pain. "I didn't want Ezra…" He gestured his stomach. "... experiencing this second hand."

Hera frowned slightly - How would Ezra experience Kanan being shot? - before she remembered. "Your bond," she stated.

Kanan nodded. "I mean, I usually block it somewhat during missions. I don't want to get distracted while dodging blaster fire." He let out a tired sigh. "I guess I made the block too strong this time. It didn't occur to me what it might look like to Ezra..."

A few things went through Hera's mind as she sat down next to Kanan. Foremost was that she still knew almost nothing about their Force bond. Or anything remotely Jedi related. Of course, she knew what she had heard from her father as a child, about what the Jedi and clones had done for Ryloth during the Clone Wars. However, except for the few times she had caught them meditating, Kanan has not done any Jedi training. Not by himself, not with Ezra... nothing. To be fair, there were a couple times where she had been gone for weeks at a time doing a solo mission for Fulcrum, but she highly doubted Kanan had been giving Ezra intense lectures on Jedi dogma in those times.

She didn't know how to address it. In general, she had no problem kicking Kanan's ass if it meant he pulled his head out of it. And he certainly trusted her. In the last year, they had grown very close. He often came to her when he was upset or frustrated, especially if Ezra was involved. But to her constant frustration, he still had a tendency to clam up every time anything even remotely relating to the Jedi came up. It wasn't healthy for him or Ezra. While he didn't seem to shy away from their shared bond anymore, Kanan needed to step up and be more than Ezra's guardian. He needed to be Ezra's master and help him learn to control his powers.

At least, that's what Hera believed. There was so much she didn't understand about their bond or the Force or the Jedi...

Well, there was only one way to change that.

"How well can you and Ezra communicate over your bond?" Hera asked carefully.

Kanan glanced at Hera before returning his gaze back to the middle of space. "I don't know… Sometimes it feels like we can say a lot to each other over our bond."

Hera raised an eyebrow. "You can actually talk to each other?"

"Well… not with words. More like feelings." He turned to her with a questioning look. "Why?"

Hera chuckled. "You're kidding, right?"

Kanan frowned. "What?"

"This bond you two share is a huge part of your relationship, and I never really get to see it. Which is fine, but I still want to understand the basics. For example, it would have been really helpful if you could have just, I don't know, sent Ezra a message while you were being treated at the Imperial med center, letting him know we were alive and okay. It's not like the Empire could have tracked it, and Ezra was obviously worried sick…"

"Yeah, well I was a little preoccupied at the time." Kanan shifted in his seat, cringing again.

Hera's eyes crinkled in sympathy. "Do you need any more pain meds?" Hera asked softly.

Kanan shook his head. "I'll be fine. Honestly, I just want to sleep."

"You don't want to try talking to Ezra first?"

"Ezra doesn't want to talk to me right now." He tapped the side of his head. "That much I can tell."

"Just because he doesn't want to doesn't mean you shouldn't," Hera pointed out.

"Hera... I literally got out of the bacta tank a few hours ago. I'm exhausted. Let Ezra cool off a bit... and I'll talk to him later. I promise."

Hera let out a soft sigh. "Alright," She stood and offered her hand. "Let's get you to bed, then."

Kanan took her hand with a grateful smile. She carefully pulled him up and put his arm over her shoulders, letting him lean against her as they slowly walked toward his cabin. Internally, it made Hera smile. This was such a departure from the early days. The dozens of incidents where Kanan would outright refuse help from her... Drunk, hungover, injured: it didn't matter. Kanan never wanted Hera's help. Honestly, she had been the same. They were both so used to being on their own, of having no one but themselves to rely on. Neither of them wanted to rely on anyone else unless they absolutely had to.

But time had passed, and that stubborn pride had been worn away for both of them. They were comfortable with one another, and helping each other out had become as natural as breathing.

Hera pressed the button to Kanan's cabin, the door opening. "Ezra's not here…" she observed.

Kanan gave an empty chuckle. "He must really be angry with me."

She helped him sit down on his bunk before kneeling down and starting to unlace his shoes. There was no way Kanan could do this himself right now with his wound as tender as it was. "Maybe this is a good thing."

"What, you taking my clothes off?"

Hera gave his leg a light slap. "No... I mean Ezra being angry with you."

Kanan looked down at her incredulously. "You're joking, right?"

"Ezra is ten years old. He's a little old to be sleeping in the same room as you every night."

"It's not every night…"

Hera rolled her eyes. "You know what I mean. Just a few weeks ago, you were telling me how much better he sleeps now. This might be a sign that Ezra is ready to gain a little independence."

Kanan looked liked he wanted to argue. But then he shut his mouth, his eyes narrowing as he contemplated what she said. Then his shoulders slumped as he sighed. "Yeah… you might be right."

"I'm not saying you should kick him out or anything like that," Hera said. "But if he's willingly taking time to spend in his own space... that's a good thing. You can't shelter him forever."

"Watch me," Kanan murmured.

She knew he wasn't being serious. Well, not completely serious. Kanan knew on some level that he couldn't protect Ezra forever. But this was a good first step.

Hera finished taking Kanan's boots off and he gave a little mumble of thanks. She got up and sat down on the bunk next to him with a sigh. "Besides, Ezra has good reason to be angry with you. You're an idiot for that stunt you pulled."

Kanan closed his eyes with a tired sigh. "And what was I supposed to do?"

"We both know you could have easily jumped out of the way."

"Yeah, with speed and reflexes that are just a little too fast to be human."

"They probably wouldn't have even noticed! And it would have been way more preferable to getting shot in the gut!"

"Hey, I ended up being fine…"

Hera sighed, leaning her forehead on Kanan's shoulder. "I thought you were going to die…"

For a moment, Kanan didn't respond. Then he slowly raised his arm and wrapped it around her shoulders, pulling her up against his side. "I'm going to be fine," he said again.

"I know," Hera said softly. "That doesn't make you any less of an idiot."

They sat there for a while, enjoying each other's warmth. This wasn't anything new. There have been many quiet moments like this, where they were comfortable enough to share a little bit of physical affection. There had never been anything sexual - not even a kiss - because technically they were still just partners. Their obvious affection for each other was a topic they hadn't broached yet. Even though it was plain to see that their relationship was evolving, neither of them had had the courage to bring it up. Honestly, it had been a shock for Hera when she realized she actually wanted more. It had happened suddenly. The thought struck her brain in the middle of repairs a few months ago. Looking back, she knew these feelings had been building for a while now. She had just chosen to ignore them. Now she was constantly grappling about what she should do with them.

And Kanan, hound dog that he was when they first met, had never taken these quiet moments any further than Hera took them. One thing was becoming clear: she was going to have to make the first move herself.

But now wasn't the time for that. So with a reluctant sight, Hera pulled away. "You should get some rest."

Kanan nodded, cringing as he turned to lay down on his bunk. "Check on Ezra," he mumbled, closing his eyes.

"I will. Just get some sleep." Hera turned off the light as she walked out. When the door to Kanan's cabin closed, she let out a long sigh, leaning heavily against the wall. What a day. Frankly, she needed to sleep as well. They had both been going non-stop since the beginning of their mission. And she had not gotten a single wink of sleep while the surgical droid had treated Kanan's blaster shot. She was physically and emotionally exhausted.

She walked over to Ezra's room and knocked on the door. "Ezra?" No reply. "Ezra." She tried to open the door, only to find it locked. That wasn't good. "Ezra, love, please let me in."

After a few moments with still no response, worry began to niggle at her. She entered the override code into the door's control panel, and it opened.

The cabin lights were off, but enough light poured in from the hallway for her to find Ezra curled up on his bunk with his wolf. He seemed to be sleeping deeply. Walking closer, she could see dried tear tracks staining his cheeks. She gave a small smile of sympathy, grabbing a blanket and pulling it over him.

Ezra let out a small moan, his eyes fluttering open. "... 'era..." he mumbled.

"Shh..." She smoothed a hand over his hair. "Go back to sleep, love."

With a tired nod, Ezra grabbed the edge of the blanket and pulled it tighter around him as he curled back up and fell back to sleep.

Hera stayed there for another minute, making sure Ezra was sleeping peacefully, before getting up and leaving him be. Then, with a long tired sigh, she made a direct line for her own cabin, barely even kicking off her boots before she fell in her bunk, going out like a light.


Leave a review and let me know what you thought.