Chapter 29: Lights, Camera, ACTION!

A/N: Here it is, the 29th chapter! Has anybody seen the last movie yet? I cried 8 times...

Disclaimer: I don't own the line about gingers, that all goes to A Very Potter Musical (And I don't mean to offend anybody with ginger hair either).

I don't own Voldemorg, that all goes to my BFF Bron who made it up while turning The Mysterious Ticking Noise into her friends names (Such as Blake Blake Severus Blake, Bron Weasley, Cary Potter, and, of course, Voldemorg!)

She also owns the I hate soup line.

"Harry stop stalking me." I said, walking into the library.

"How did you know I was here!" he exclaimed, hurrying up to me.

"I could hear you." I replied. The truth was I could hear him, I could hear his thoughts. "Did you know I can do Legicamy?" He blushed bright scarlet.

"Um... no." he admitted.

"Yeah I learnt how to last year." I nodded, "What are you doing in the library?"

"Watching you." he said without thinking. Then he covered his mouth with his hands.

"Harry I'm touched by your attention!" I laughed, watching him blush even more, "But I'm kind of in the middle of something. D'you mind leaving?"
"Yes." he replied.

"Fine, stay see if I care." I said, sitting down and getting out a quill and a piece of parchment.
"What you doing?" Harry asked.

"Writing a letter to my dad," I replied, not looking up. I scribbled down a note to him and got up. "There."

"That was quick." he noted.

"Yeah well I need to go somewhere." I replied. "Mind watching it for me while I go and get a book?"
"Sure." he nodded.

"Thanks." I smiled and got up. I then watched from behind the Transfiguration bookcase (A-E authors), waiting for him to have a look at the note.

Harry's POV

I looked around to see if she was watching. She wasn't. I quickly grabbed the letter and had a look at what she'd written.

Daddy,

Stupid Rita Skeeter! 'Imposter Scandal'! Have you seen yesterdays Prophet? Me, Draco, Ginny and Blaise tried to pull it off as one of the Slytherin's pranks (I turned Draco into a ferret and he bit Blaise tee he!) and I think everyone believed us except for Saint Potter. He's started to stalk me and yesterday he overheard us all talking, and I used Legicamy and he had overheard them say Sophia! I think he's onto us, Daddy. I think we'll have to swap over again. We have enough information now as it is and I've copied all of the Marauder's Map so there's no need for me to be here anymore. Plus if I stay any longer Pothead's going to find out and tell everyone your back! Can you meet me tonight in the Forbidden forest with the Mudblood?

Love you forever,

Sophia Lily Riddle

I stared at it blankley. Saint Potter. Pothead. Daddy. Mudblood. Hermione? They- Voldemort and his daughter- must have kidnapped her so that this Sophia could spy on us. I heard footsteps and quickly put it back down.

Hermione's POV

I could tell by his betrayed face that Harry had read the letter.

"Hiya Harry!" I said, writing Daddy on the front of the now folded letter. "You alright?"
"Yes." he said steely, and I tensed.

"You don't sound alright. Maybe you should go up to the hospital wing?" I suggested.

"No, I'm fine." he insisted.

"Okay. I'm going to go and owl this to my dad, you coming?" I asked.

"Yeah," he decided. We walked up to the Owlery, and I saw Draco inside.

"Wait out here." I told him. He nodded, though he didn't understand why. I walked in, and Draco saw me.

"Sophia!" he exclaimed loudly, seeing Harry outside.

"Sssh!" I hissed to him, "Potty is just out there, and he'll hear you!"

"Doesn't mean he won't be able to see me." he grinned reaching for me.

"Draco!" I giggled, "I have a message for my father and I need to send it urgently I don't have time for your games."
"You call this a game?" he softly kissed my cheek, "I'm offended, miss Riddle." I laughed softly.

"I'll stop by the Slytherin common room after my talk with daddy and we'll continue this, shall we?" I grinned, kissing his neck.

"I'd be delighted." he smiled, wrapping his arms around me.

"Mione? Are you done yet?" Harry called. I slithered out of Draco's embrace and motioned to him.

"Oh shut up Elddir nobody cares about your stupid parents!" he shrugged, making it up.

"And nobody cares about yours." I retorted.

"You annoy me." he growled.
"You're a Hufflepuff." I replied.

"You're a Mudblood." he snarled, walking towards the door.

"Actually I'm a Half-blood get your facts straight!" I called after him, walking over to Arabella. "Hiya darling. Get this to my dad, and pronto okay?" she pecked me affectionately and flew off.

"Trouble with Malfoy?" Harry asked, walking in. I turned.

"Yeah," I nodded, "I handled it though."

"Oh okay then." Harry said, "What you going to do now?"

"I don't know." I shrugged. "Do you need to do anything?"
"No not realy," he replied. "Want to go back to the Gryffindor common room?"

"Yeah," I agreed and we made our way back to the Gryffindor common room.

"Hermione!" Ron exclaimed when I walked in, "Fi angen i chi fy helpu i astudio ar gyfer fy yfory prawf sy'n siarad Cymraeg!" 'I need you to help me study for my Welsh speaking test tomorrow!'

"Pam, Ron? Rydych chi eisoes mor dda!" I praised, 'Why, Ron? You're already so good!'

"Oherwydd fy mod i'n paranoid!" 'Because I'm paranoid!' "Gofynnais Ginny am help a rhoddodd iddi geiriadur, ond mae hi'n fath o sownd!" 'I asked Ginny for help and gave her a dictionary but she's stuck!'

"Ron... Ron I think I've got it!" Ginny whooped from the corner. "Shwmae."

"Yr wyf yn gweld beth ydych yn ei feddwl. 'N annhymerus' eich helpu chi, Ron." I smiled and sat down. That means 'I see what you mean. I'll help you, Ron.'

"Iawn. Mae'r prawf ar disgrifo eich hun." he told me. 'Okay. The test is on describing yourself.

"Felly, gallwch chi?" 'So can you?'

"Yr wyf yn credu hynny." 'I think so.' "Fy enw i yw Ron ac yr wyf wedi gwallt glass ac llygaid sinser." 'My name is Ron and I have blue hair and ginger eyes.'

"Ron ei cawsoch y rownd o chwith! Nid oes gennych sinser llygaid! Sut y mae hynny'n bosibl hyd yn oed, mae'n rhiad i tybed." 'Ron you got it the wrong way round! You don't have ginger eyes! How is that even possible, I must wonder.'

"Could someone tell them to speak English, not Martian?" called Lee Jordan to us. "They could be talking about getting married for all we know!"

"Ron, Mya, gallech dau roi'r gorau i siarad yn y Gymraeg os gwelech yn dda? Mae'n freaking allan o bobl." Harry said. 'Ron, Mya, could you two stop speaking Welsh please? It's freaking out people.'

"Sorry guys." I laughed, "It wasn't Martian it was Welsh. I'm helping Ron study for a Welsh speaking test. And by the way, Lee, I would never marry Ron. I like him, maybe even love him, but just as a friend, and I bet Ron feels the same way." I turned to him, "Right, Ron?"

"Um... Ydw. I mean yes." he nodded.

"Um... Ron I don't think I'm cut out for Welsh." Ginny said, handing him the book. "I can't realy grasp it."
"I gathered that Ginny. It took you an hour to learn how to say hello." Ron joked.

"Shut up Ron." she said defensively. "I bet you can't translate this into English. Te amo."

"That's not Welsh!" he protested.

"Te amo. Ti amo." I added, "Je taime. I'm not going to say it in Welsh, you have to figure it out."

"What kind of freaking languages where they?" Ron gasped.

"The first one was Latin, spoke in Ancient Rome and words used in many of our spells." Neville realised.

"The second one was Italian, spoke in Italy, and a very cute certain someone in this school." Ginny giggled.

"The third one: French. Used in France," I adjoined, thinking, 'I use it too.'

"What is it in Welsh?" Ron asked.

"We're not telling you." Both me and Ginny said simultaneously.

"Partly because I don't know it." Ginny reasoned.

"Partly because I don't realy feel it towards you, Ron. No offence." I smiled.

"I'll tell you what it is in English if you want, Ron!" Lavender Brown giggled.

"Go on then." Ron shrugged.

"I love you!" she squealed.

"Um... Well that's very nice of you but what did all those words mean!" Ron told her.

"No, silly! That's what ti amo, te amo, je taime, they all mean I love you! And I kinda do." she blushed.

"Thanks Lavender!" Ron grinned. "Ti amo to you too Ginny!" Ginny looked at him.

"You aren't aloud to say ti amo. Only he is aloud to say ti amo." she scowled.

"What?" Harry looked bemused.

"See, there was this guy who Ginny fancied," I began, although Ginny looked at me miming slitting my throat, "And he fancied her also. I found the latter of the info out in the middle of Febuary. Then Ginny went out with Justin to make him jealous. He decided to make her jealous and kissed me. She saw, and was VERY angry with me, even though I didn't do anything."

"Did you kiss him?"

"No!"

"Did you return the kiss?"
"No!"

"Did you like it?"

"Eeew definitely not!"

"Shame on you Ginny Weasley."

"Anyway back to the story. I fessed up everything and he almost hit me on the head with a book because of it. Then he said to her, and I quote 'Ti amo, Ginny Weasley'." Several people went 'Aaaaw!' and Dennis Creevey gagged at the love story. Then the portrait hole swung open and a million people screamed.

"Folks don't-"

"Worry, it's just-"

"Us!" chorused Fred and George, laughing.

"Find us Hermione-"

"Neville and Ginny-"

"We need them!" A million people grabbed me, Ginny and Neville and pushed us towards them.
"Brill." Fred nodded, "Now guys, we were telling people about your evil laugh play, you know, the professors, some Ravenclaws, Hufflepuffs and some Slytherins, and they didn't think that you three could carry it off. So we told them we'd put on a performance of it for them in the Great Hall."

"So we've stolen some black swishy robes from Snape-" George shoved them to me,

"Some rattyish clothes for Neville-" Fred handed Neville a bundle of ragged cloths,

"And set you up a stage!" they refrained. "Unfortunatley we aren't sure what Sophia would wear."

"I know what she'd wear!" I said. "I'll help Ginny pick out an outfit. Why do you guys look so happy?"

"We're selling tickets. 5 sickles each." Fred grinned.

"A galleon if you want fist class." George added.

"Talking of which we have a couple of tickets to spare," Fred nodded, "Who wants tickets to see 'Lady Voldemorg's Evil Plan'? This is your last chance, folks!" While the boys were selling off overpriced tickets to their fellow Gryffindor's, me and Ginny ran up to her room and picked out an outfit that looked vaguely like the one I'd worn on Christmas eve. She got it on, we magically styled her hair so it looked like mine, got me dressed into my robes and collected a bald cap from Oliver Wood who happened to be holding one.

"You two look perfect!" George exclaimed upon sight.

"You too, Ratface! Positively sidekickey!" Fred praised Neville. "Come on, the performance is on in a minute!" They grabbed us and hurried us down to the Great Hall where we saw a ginormous wooden stage with red and gold velvet curtains drawn across it with the words 'Lady Voldemorg's Evil Plan!' on it in black and doomy-looking letters. It was placed infront of masses and masses of seats row upon row.

"Okay then you three get behind stage and get ready for the performance. When you heard Fred announcing it, get up there and act your socks off." George instructed. We did as we were told and went behind.

"What the hell are we doing!" Neville cried. "I can't believe they got us into this!"

"Here, I'll get you 20% of the profits." I replied, walked over to Fred and George and said, "Give Neville 20% of the profits or I walk."

"Fine he'll get 20% of the profits." Fred shrugged.

"Thanks!" I said walking back over to Neville, "There you go your getting paid now."

"Wow." Neville shook his head in wonder, "That was good negotiating."
"It was easy." I said.

"Then again they don't want you to walk you're the main character." Ginny reasoned.

"Ladies and Gentlemen," boomed Fred's voice, "Students and Staff please take your seats, as we are about to begin."

"Get ready guys." I said. "I'll be onstage pacing, and when the curtain rises Neville, you come on. Okay?"

"Yep." Neville said and I got up onto the stage.

"And now, Ladies and Gentlemen, Slytherins and not-quite-so-Slytherins-but-more-of-Ravenclawey-Hufflepuff's, The Weasley Wizard Wheezes present: Lady Voldemorg's Evil Plan starring Neville Longbottom as Ratface, Ginny Weasley as Sophia Lily Riddle and Hermione Elddir as Lady Voldemorg!"

The curtain rose. I paced menacingly, and then Neville ran on.

"I'm back, mistress." he said.
"So, the Elddirs have found there precious daughter, have they?" I snarled.

"Yes mistress." Neville tittered.

"Blast!" I thumped my hand down on a table with a jug and a cup on it placed at the front of the stage. The audience jumped. "And after all we did to hide her from them as well. What did you say her name was again, Ratface?"
"Hermione, mistess." Neville told me, "It means Well-born."
"Well born, I wish she'd never been born!" I roared, making Neville wince. "You said she goes to Hogwarts?"

"Yes, mistress." Neville nodded, "In her 4th year. She's best friends with Harry Potter."

"HARRY POTTER!" I yelled at Neville. I turned to my audience. "The very cause of my downfall about 14 years, 100 days, 5 hours and 15 seconds ago. And she's friends with this... this... this fish?" I heard a couple of Slytherin's chuckle. "To think my niece is friends with him. Preposterous!" I turned back to Neville. "Tell me, Ratface, where is Sophia?"

"She's outside, my lady," answered Neville, "Exploring the garden's with Draco Malfoy." I nodded.

"A nice boy," I commented, "Fetch her."

"Of course, mistress." Neville walked out. I reached for the jug, pretended to pour some water into the cup and drank it.

"Harry Potter," I grumbled, "How I despise him. How I want to rip his tiny little head of. How dare my niece befriend him! And what's more, she's probably a Gryffindor. There's not one person that went into Gryffindor that wasn't worth bothering with. Well, apart from Ratface, but that's different isn't it. Talking of Ratface, where is that incompetent bafoon?" I turned to where he had walked off. "Ratface! Have you got her yet!" Shortly after this was said Neville and Ginny walked on. "Sophia." Ginny came and knelt before me.

"Mother," she said, looking up.

"How alike your cousin you look," I grinned. I looked at the audience. "That's it! I shall get Strangetrix Le Belle to kidnap Hermione Elddir, and you will take her place. When the time is right, you will lead Harry Potter to me, and I, lady Voldemorg, will kill Harry Potter!" I laughed evilly.

"Wait, that's it?" asked Ginny, getting up. A couple of people chuckled.

"Yes that's it." I snapped, "I murder Harry Potter and nothing shall stand in my way! Now laugh with me." I started to laugh evilly and Ginny joined in.

"But, mistress," Neville piped up, "What about Bumbledore?"
"If Bumbledore wanted to stop me, he would have stopped me when I arose the first time." I replied, "Now, all together now, LAUGH!" and we started to laugh evilly. Then Neville started to pretend to choke. I got the cup and handed it to him. "There. Drink, Ratface drink!" he pretended to drink. "Good. Now, fourth time lucky, laugh!" and we did. Then the curtains closed.

"Encore!" we heard someone call out.

"That wasn't worth a galleon it needs to be longer!" another voice decided.

"More, more, more, more, more, more!" some people began to chant. I walked back onto the stage and through the curtains.

"You want more?" I asked them.

"Yes!" they yelled.

"Okay then give Fred and George a galleon and maybe we will." I grinned. Draco shot up and gave them a galleon. "Okay, I need something to transfigure into a cage and someone with brown hair. Who'd like to volunteer?" A million hands shot up and I picked one at random.

"We'll make you a cage," whispered George, going behind the curtains. The girl I had chosen trotted up. She was in Slytherin, I think her name was Annabelle.

"Thank you. Do you mind being me? Hermione Elddir?" I asked.

"No that's no problem." Annabelle replied.

"Okay then go behind the curtains with Fred and George because you need to be in the cage." I ordered her. She nodded and went behind stage.

"Okay then next I need someone to play Strangetrix Le Belle." I said. "I don't mind if it's a boy or a girl." again, a million hands shot up. I scanned the audience and saw Pansy Parkinson sitting there glumly. "You there!" I called, "Second row, 4 from the left. Next to the dude with glasses!" Pansy's head shot up.

"Who, me?" she asked, "No. I don't think-"

"You have no choice come on up!" I told her. She got up and walked up. "You're Strangetrix Le Belle. Okay? Right go behind stage and the two people there will more or less explain what you have to do, okay?"

"Fine." she said grumpily and stomped off.

"Brilliant. I think that could be all I need. But if it isn't, I would like a couple of people in the audience, you you... the girl in the middle... you at the back and McGonagal to go behind stage and... if I need anyone else on for you all to be them? Also, if you're their look-a-like, you know, you look like who I need, you could come up as well. Or if you are them." I instructed.

"Yes Voldemorg." they all chorused.

"Good, good. Voldemorg out! Peace!" I did the peace sign and walked made my way through the mass of velvet.

"Hi Hermione just did the finishing touches to the cage!" Fred said, showing it to me. Annabelle waved from inside it.

"It's actually quite roomy!" she commented.

"Good. Now, if anyone says the words Crucio, scream in pain, okay?" she nodded. "Boys, remember to do lighting to make it seem like we're realy performing the spell."

"Cool." they said. "Curtains up in 5." and they walked off. I looked behind stage.

"Can I have Strangetrix Le Belle up here please?" Pansy grumbled and came up. "You know what to do, right?"
"I've just captured Hermione Elddir and am feeling very good for myself." she droned.

"Brill. Remember to act like Draco's crazy aunt." I reminded.

"You just called Drakie by his first name!" she gasped. I looked at her.

"Don't call him that he's mine." I growled.
"What?" she asked.

"Does he dance?" I asked.

"Sophia Lily Riddle? What are you doing he-"

"Ladies and Gentlemen, Wusses and knights, we are proud to present the second scene for 'Lady Voldemorg's Evil Plan'." came Georges voice, and the curtain rose. I walked around the Ravenclaw's cage.

"Yes, yes, very nicely done, Le Belle," I nodded, looking at her. She smiled coyly and said,

"Thank you, my lady."

"Did she cause you any trouble?" I asked, walking over to her.

"No, my lady. She was quiet for the whole trip... after I crucioed her a few times." Pansy turned to Annabelle and the cage. "CRUCIO!" There was a red flash of light, and Annabelle started screaming in pretend pain. Then she stopped as abruptly as she had begun.

"Nicely done again, Le Belle." I looked at her, "You were always my favourite Deatheater."
"She's not as cool as Professor Snape, he's better." gasped Annabelle.

"Shut it, Elddir. Silenco!" I cast, and there was a blue light. "There. We won't be hearing from her in a while." I gave a crude laugh. "Ratface!" Neville ran in with feathers all over him.

"Yes, mistress?" he asked. I looked at him with distain.

"Why are there feathers all over you?" I scorned.

"Draco Malfoy and Sophia were playing a prank." Neville replied.

"Well bring her here so I can show her her cousin." I sneered, gesturing to the Ravenclaw.

"Of course, mistress." Neville nodded and walked off, while Draco hurried behind stage.

"You must admit it looks like a good trick." Pansy nodded.

"BOMBS AWAY!" yelled Ginny from offstage.

Splat.

"BOO YA!" shouted Draco, "Score one for the Balisk kids!" There was a collection of whoops before Ginny, Draco and Neville walked on. Neville was covered in jam... well, I think it was jam.

"Sophia... hang on a sec... Why is Ratface covered in... is that jam?" I gasped, swabbing a dollop with my finger and holding it up to my face.

"I think it is." Neville replied.

"Strawberry?" I wondered, licking it. He repeated the action.
"No I think it's apricots for sure." he disagreed.

"If it's apricots why is it red? ... oh my god." I gasped. He looked at me and we quickly wiped it onto our clothes. Well... Neville did. I wiped it on his clothes as well. Mine were being rented from a spy- I couldn't take my chances.

"Ew." he commented.

"Don't fret it was only raspberry jam!" Ginny laughed. "Or was it... Ooh a cage!" she hopped over to it.

"Sophia meet your cousin Hermione." I introduced.

"Awesome! Hi cuz! Are you a team Edward like me?" Ginny asked.

"No." Annabelle answered.

"Who can deny the awesomeness of vampires though?" Ginny whined.

"Who can deny the hotness of Jacob?" the Ravenclaw retorted.

"Yep. This is definitely my cousin because she has the same fiery personality." Ginny concluded.

"Hey is that Granger?" Draco put in walking over to the family reunion.

"It's Elddir, now get out!" I told him.

"That's harsh." Draco commented.

"Do you expect anything else from her? She's evil." Pansy sighed. Suddenly someone ran on to the stage and started running in circles, yelling,

"Evil! EEEEEEVVVIIILLL! BEWARE! EEEEBBEEEELLL!" I looked at him as he screamed. Then he ran off. We were silent for a minute.

"Who was that?" I asked.

"That was... Ravenforest I think, mistress." Neville answered.

"Hm... evil deed for tomorrow: Hand him over to the ministry as a Deatheater." I thought aloud manically. "Now where were we?"

"You were telling me to get out." Draco reminded.

"Right. Just get out," I sighed, "I honestly can't be bothered to put in any effort."

"If you had something scary I would run out screaming." Draco grinned.

"Fine. Ratface, you know what to do." I ordered. Neville nodded and walked offstage.

"What are you going to do?" Draco asked. Then Neville came back on with Susan Bones, a red-head from Hufflepuff who loved Justin and had previously been out with him.

"Hi." she greeted, looking at Draco.

"AAAHH! GINGER!" Draco freaked and ran out of the room. The whole audience laughed.
"There. How are you Susan?" I asked, turning to her.

"Good. I think I'll get an A on my potions, Voldy." she commented.

"That's brilliant! Why don't you wait outside and we'll catch up, yeah? How's that boy you were dating... you know... um... Dustbin?"

"You mean Justin?" asked Annabelle, "Oh, he and her aren't dating anymore because Justin heard she kissed Blaise Zabini in a Transfiguration detention. He heard it from George from Ravenclaw who got it from..."

"Shut it Elddir I want to hear it from Susan." I snapped. "Sorry about that Suzie."

"It's okay. And I liked Justin as well." Susan sighed, walking off.

"How lovers fall," I sighed. "Did I tell you about the time where I was dating a boy from-"

"Yes, mother." Ginny grinned, "And it was pretty graphic, so please don't tell it again.
"Fine. But that was the last time I dated someone who's name began with A and ended with R." I rolled my eyes.

"So anyway why'd you get rid of Draco?" Ginny asked.

"Because I'm going to remind you of your mission." I replied.

"Oooh goody!" she exclaimed.

"Your mission, if you choose to except it- oh who am I kidding you won't except it you have to do it! Your mission, whether you choose to except it or not, is to go back to Hogwarts yadda yadda yadda marauders map, yadda yadda yadda and we will invade Mars! So then yadda yadda yadda superman yadda yadda yadda I Lady Voldemorg will kill Harry Potter. Got it?"

"Yep. But where did the invading Mars bit come from?" Ginny asked.

"Oh." I blushed, "Sorry about that, that's Birdseed and Le Belle's mission later on."

"I get to go to Mars?" Pansy gaped, "WHOOHO! I KNEW ONE DAY THIS LOW SALARY JOB WOULD PAY OFF!"
"Um... Strangetrix?"

"Yes, my lady?"
"You don't get paid for this."

"Oh well I'm still going into space!" and with that Pansy skipped off.

"I wanna go into space!" Ginny whined.

"Stop whining your going to Hogwarts instead." I replied.

"Oh yeah can I tell Draco?" she asked.
"No."

"Aaaw why not?" she grinned.

"Because." I replied.

"Because what?"
"Just because."

"Because what?"

"Sophia?"

"Yeah mum?"
"Shut-" just then a phone in my pocket that had appeared there randomly started to ring. "What the-?"
"Nobody's perfect,

I gotta work it,

Again and again to get it right!"

"Oh for Pete's sake!" I groaned and pressed receive. "What!"
"Mya this is Fred, just act like your on the phone to somebody. Anybody." Fred whispered into the receiver.

"I don't want car insurance!" I stood there, pretending to listen to the person on the phone, "I don't care how cheap it is! I don't have a car... yes, your right. I should work on that." The audience chuckled. "Hey you'll put in a tiny plush meerkat?" I put my hand to the phone. "Hey Phia d'you or any of your friends want a plush meerkat?" I asked Ginny.

"No," she shook her head.

"Elddir what about you? Or Potter or Weasley?" I offered.

"Hm... Ron may need a new teddy, but I think I'll pass."

"Okay." I spoke down to Fred, "I don't need a plush meerkat at the moment."

"I want one!" Neville called to me.

"Shut up Ratface get your own meerkat!" I listened for a moment, "Oh, now you think I need to tone up? I'll have you know I'm in mint condition!"

"Yeah yeah Mum like you'll ever be healthy." Ginny rolled her eyes.

"You have sugar cereals with whipped cream for breakfast!" Neville added.

"I was thinking of getting you a doll for your birthday Ratface but I don't see that happening now." I said.

"You're evil." he complained. Then the guy from earlier popped up and started screaming the ebel rubbish again.

"SHUT IT!" we all yelled.

"What?" I asked to the phone, "You'll put me down for some car insurance? No! I don't need car insurance! I don't have a car!" Silence. "WHAT? I need to pay 1,000,000,000 pounds! I can't pay that? And I don't even have a car! I've had it. Good day." and I slammed the phone down onto the table.

"Nobody's perfect,

I gotta work it,

Again and again to get it right!"

"Nobody answer that." I growled. We all stood there listning for five seconds.

"Would somebody get that?" Pansy yelled, storming in again and picking up the phone.

"NO!" we all yelled, but it was too late.
"What? Do I want car insurance? Well I'd have to get a car... and a driver's license first. Where do they sell them, by the way?" chuckle from Muggleborns. "Oooh a plush meerkat? Anybody want a plush meerkat?"

"ME!" Neville roared.

"Nobody? Okay then."
"MEEEEE!"

"Alright, I'll have one meerkat plushy thing."

"YAY!"

"Not for you Ratface for me! Okay, when do I get my doll?" she listened for a few minutes. "What? I need to have car insurance to get one? Alright, WHO in this goddamn place has car insurance?" she yelled.

"I do!" Rookforest, as we'd dubbed him (It was really Dean) jumped on. "And I have a car as well!"
"Oooh yay! Take me for a ride!" Pansy giggled and went to go off with him.

"Wait! Strangetrix!" I yelled.

"Yeah my lady?" she asked.

"You're married to Rudolph!"

"So? He's rotting in a cell in Alakazam! There's no need for me to worry, or stay loyal!" she laughed a crazy laugh and disappeared off to who know's where with Seamus.

"At least now we won't here evil-" began Ginny.

"EEEEEEEVIIIIIL! EEEEEVVVVIIIIIIILLLLLL!" Seamus ran back on, took a bow and ran back off.

"God that's annoying!" I commented.

"Anyway... what I wanna know is when do I get out of this cage?" Annabelle asked.

"When Potter dies," I replied.

"God Harry hurry up and die then I need a pee!" she gasped.

"Well then we better get started. Off you go to Hogwarts, Sophia!" I ordered.

"What's the magic word?" she asked.

"Peanut butter." I replied almost instantly.

"Well I was looking for please but that works too!" Ginny grinned and she walked off.

"Well now what?" Annabelle asked.

"I dunno." I shrugged. "Who wants soup?"

"I hate soup!" shuddered Neville.

"Oh well then. Who wants scones with raspberry jam?" I asked.

"You betcha!" Neville said and we walked off singing that Muppet song 'Ma Nah Ma Nah'.

"Ma nah ma nah!" sang Neville.

"Do do de do do!" I sang.

"Ma nah ma nah!"

"Do do de do!"

"Ma nah ma nah!"

"Do do de do do, de do do, de do do de do do do duh duh dun nah nuh!" The curtains closed and the crowd applauded.

"And now, ladies and gentlemen... the cast of 'Lady Voldemorg's Evil Plan'! In order of appearance!" Fred announced.

"Hermione Elddir as Lady Voldemorg!" I got through the curtains and bowed as everybody applauded.

"Neville Longbottom as Ratface!" Neville came out.

"Ginny Weasley as Sophia Lily Riddle!" More clapping as Ginny joined us.

"Pansy Parkinson as Strangetrix Le Belle- who was Belletrix." Pansy came out.

"That was actually kinda fun." she admitted.

"The Mya is always right." I told her.

"Annabelle as Hermione Elddir!" Out came Annabelle the Slytherin.

"Draco Malfoy playing himself!" Draco came out and a million people shouted,

"Tom Felton! Tom Felton! Tom Felton!" screaming fan girls roared in approval.

"Shut up it's not Tom Felton, it's the ferret!" I shouted back to them. "No cute boy, just a Slytherin."

"Dean Thomas as Ravenforest- who is Rookwood, by the way." Out came Dean of doom.

"Susan Bones also playing herself." Susan came out and bowed.

"For anybody too stupid to make it out, Birdseed is Avery- nice one Mya! And Rudolph is Rodolphus- Belletrix's husband who is in Askaban." George informed everyone. We did a huge bow and everyone clapped. As I looked around at my- oops, OUR adoring fans, I saw Harry. He was glaring at me.

A/N: There you are. If you thought that chapter was a bit repetitive of the whole play thing, it's because the real version of the chapter only took up two pages so I decided to make it longer. What did you think? Was it good? Was it bad? What will happen when Hermione-Sophia goes to see her father in the forest? KristinePierce, did you like your special appearance? I had loads of fun writing it. Please review!

Comix

(PS: I think I've outlined the last chapters for the story now, all I have to do is write them. I think water gives me ideas, because the story popped into my head in a bathtub, the Dramione parts pop into my head in the shower all the time, and the last chapters ideas popped into my head yesterday when I was walking home in the rain without an umberella!)