As a warning, I'm not even gonna try to continue this story probably, but the setup was so fun I had to write it.


"Eirin!" Rabbits scattered out of Kaguya's way as she stormed towards the elder Lunarian's workshop. "What have you done?!"

There was a rustling from within, and Eirin poked her head out. "I'm just helping you with your latest project princess."

"Helping?" Kaguya thrust out a leaflet. In strong print it stated 'To All Magicians. A Once In A Lifetime Chance : Claim The Holy Grail.' "You started this nonsense without informing me!" She waved the paper in Eirin's face. "I spent years collecting the notes on that Holy Grail in order to add it to my collection!"

"I know," Eirin replied. "But if you had used your original plan based on the notes Reisen uncovered you'd have summoned that half baked grail. I've fixed the spell to avoid the impurities the humans added. Also, I'm certain you would have entered the contest yourself. That just wouldn't do."

Kaguya stomped her foot. "That's the point! If I wanted my servants to gather artifacts I'd just throw money at it."

Eirin frowned. "The Grail War is a bit different than your previous artifact hunts, Princess. The summoners are sometimes in just as much danger as their summons." The woman's expression softened. "Besides, I enjoy doing favors for you."

The lunar princess sniffed in annoyance, but her rage seemed to cool. "Fine then. I suppose you've already plotted out how you're going to win."

"Plan?" Eirin chuckled. "I've already summoned my servant." Eirin opened the door completely. Within the room was a complex magical circle, and sitting on a cushion in the middle was a chinese man in fine robes. Kaguya could sense the divinity of man, but strangely he seemed to have only a rusty iron bar as a weapon. "Behold, Servant Saber. The strongest servant."

Kaguya nodded, then her eyes opened wide as she recognized the man. "Ah! You were the one chosen by heaven to replace the Qin. I remember that."

The regal man nodded his head. "Indeed. I created the Han. Acquiring a simple cup should be a simple matter."

"Hm. Well," Kaguya turned and walked away. "I suppose I can let you handle this one Eirin. I'll go talk to the shrine maiden about the details."

"I suppose that would be best," Eirin said.


Miko had years upon years of practice concentrating while other people's conversations happened around her, so she casually listened to Tojiko and Fuuto chat behind her, while completing her ritual.

"Why do we need some Christian cup anyway?" Futo asked. "The power to grant a wish is nice, but the Crown Prince surely can do that on her own?"

"Not any wish," Tojiko snapped. "Besides, do you want someone other than Miko gaining the power of the Grail? You had to deal with the monkey's paw after all. Not to mention that fallen Buddhist nun is almost certain to be after the grail as well."

"Ah! That would be a terrible thing!" Miko smiled to herself at Futo's panic. Trust the fearful woman to only understand the threat instead of the potential.

Miko felt the spell slowly fall into place and turned her full attention to her incantation. "Accept my will and appear before me!"

The room exploded with light as Miko completed her spell. Futo cried out in surprise as she shielded her eyes. Miko also was forced to look away, but the sudden flood of desires brought joy to her heart. The summoning had been successful!

As her vision cleared a samurai in gleaming armor with a daikyuu knelt before her. "I am servant Archer. I look forward to battling by your side, Crown Prince."

"And I look forward to working with you, Heroic Spirit Archer," Miko replied. She wanted to show her Servant respect. After all he was one of the reasons her family was the imperial family.

"Great work, Crown Prince!" Futo cheered. "With Tawara Toda as your Servant we are sure to be victorious!"

Tojiko elbowed Futo in the ribs. "Stop giving away Archer's name."

Miko his her smile behind her rod. "Don't worry too much about it Tojiko. After all, many of our competitors have seen Archer here in action. And the rest will understand after the first arrow strikes true."

"Though that may be the last thing they realize," the Heroic Servant added calmly.


Remilia slammed open the door to the library. "Patchouli!"

The young vampire strode through the library looking around. Eventually she found where her friend was currently lairing. "Patchouli! Aren't you going to summon your Servant?! You'd better hurry!"

Patchouli looked over at her old friend. "Hm? Why are you so worried about that? I'm the one competing. From the preliminary rules Reimu's putting together you won't even be able to help. Other than giving me supplies."

"The reputation of the Scarlet Devil Mansion is still riding on your performance!" Remilia snapped. "What will people think if you get a lame Servant? I'm sure everyone's rushing to snap up the knight classes!"

"Oh, Eirin probably grabbed the Saber class before announcing the contest. She'd cheat like that," Patchouli said. "But in any case you don't need to worry Remilia. I've already summoned my Servant."

Remilia blinked. "Huh?"

The young vampire spun around as she suddenly noticed a presence behind her. A plain looking man in a modern military uniform was leaning against the bookcases. Now that he wasn't concealing his presence, Remilia could feel the strange life force of a summoned Heroic Spirit. The man raised a hand in greeting. "Paivaa."

Remilia turned back to Patchouli. "Who is he? Didn't you use the artifact I gave you?"

"He is Servant Assassin," Patchouli replied. "And no I didn't. Firstly because he is my servant. Secondly because this is my fight. And thirdly, because Marisa stole the artifact the day you gave it to me."

"What?!" Remilia fumed for a second before slumping down in a chair. "Ugh. Fine Patchouli." She snapped her fingers and Sakuya appeared with tea. "Explain why you decided to summon the weakest Servant in a ritual where killing the other summoners is at best frowned upon and at worst useless."

Patchouli nodded in thanks as she took a teacup. "I summoned Assassin here to prove a point. Remember, our group is the youngest in the mess by several centuries, baring Marisa. And I am the youngest member of our mansion."

"Thank you," Assassin said as Sakuya handed him a cup as well.

Patchouli continued. "And so I want to remind these people of the power of those of us who have advanced. Who have learned from the outside world." Patchouli's eyes narrowed. "Which is why I've summoned a modern heroic spirit, with the weakest class. We're going to cut a bloody swath through those great heroes using only my magical power, and his skill."

"It will be an interesting time," Assassin said.

"Hm..." Remilia considered it for a minute, then shrugged. "Well that sounds fine then. What do you need?"

"A Pystykorva would be nice," Assassin said. Sakuya appeared holding a rifle. "Many thanks."

Patchouli nodded. "Also I'm going to make it snow around the mansion for a bit."

"I'm fine so long as it isn't rain, but why do you need snow?" Remilia asked.

"The White Death needs a proper battlefield," Patchouli replied with a smirk.


Marisa smiled as she looked down at the bloodstained cloth. It looked like a washrag, but given how much effort Remilia had taken hiding the thing it had to be so much more than that.

She'd had a few second thoughts about this whole mess. This was a dangerous ritual, one with a lot of big name players. And the rules of Gensoukyo were getting bent, if not outright broken for it. But the rewards were big. Fame, fortune, and a wish granted by an actual artifact. Most of all it was a contest that Reimu couldn't even enter.

Which meant it was up to her to represent the old guard right?

"So if you wanna help me, come on out!" she yelled as the spell finished.

There was a crack in the air, then a thump as a girl in a frilly dress landed in the middle of Marisa's circle.

Marisa looked at the girl. She seemed like a youkai. "Uh, did I screw this up?"

"What? Don't you recognize your own Servant?" The woman hopped to her feet and pointed angrily at Marisa. "I'm Servant Lancer! You summoned me using my washcloth, right?"

"Wait, this is a washcloth?" Marisa stared down at the bloody rag. "Did you get murdered in the bathtub or something?"

Lancer glared at her. "Of course not! I used it to bathe." The girl's eyes narrowed. "You did know you were summoning me, right? The great Elizabeth Bathory?"

Marisa choked at the name. "Of course I didn't!"

"Then why did you use my washcloth for the summoning?" Elizabeth snapped.

"I stole it from Remilia. Figured it had to be good." Marisa sighed. "Ah man, what a mistake. I wanna do over."

"You pathetic excuse for a master!" Elizabeth summoned a oddly shaped lance and jabbed it at her. "I'm gonna show you what I can do, and then I'm going to take the Grail and become an idol, with or without you!"

Marisa hopped towards the door and pulled out her Hakkero. "Alright then. We'll do the usual greeting. If you can make it through three cards we'll talk."


Seija looked down at her Servant. Stealing the magical items required to pull this off had earned her quite a few bruises. But in the end it was all worth it.

"You're bigger than I thought you'd be, though the fashion's at least right," she said.

Her Servant just growled at her. To be expected really. After all he was a Berserker class.

"We're gonna have a lot of fun together," Seija said. "Starting fights, sowing chaos. Maybe even get a bit of betrayal in there. And finally if we're lucky, we're gonna overthrow the whole order of Gensoukyo. How does that sound?"

The tall man growled again, and slammed his spear against the ground.

Seija chuckled. "I'm glad you approve, Lu Bu."


Sanae looked at the ritual circle uncomfortably. She had faith it would work out in the end, but this was more magician magic. It was strange to her. She was worried she might miscast the spell and summon the wrong person.

"I know you're worried Sanae, but waiting will only make it more difficult," Kanako said quietly. "Eirin's sure to have already summoned Saber, and the other contestants will be aiming for the more powerful classes as well. I think Byakuren Hijiri will summon a Caster, but the others will not be so accommodating to our plans."

"Right." Sanae took a deep breath and started the ritual. At least she could trust in the authenticity of the sword she was using for the ritual.

As her power reached its height, Sanae called out, "Spirit of old, the gods request your service again!"

Wind whipped through the summoning grounds. Sanae stared in amazement at the warrior standing before her.

Then her heart fell as the warrior took off their helmet. "I am servant Rider, here to serve," the woman in the armor said. "Together, may both our wishes come to pass."

"Kanako... I..." Sanae looked back at her goddess with tear in her eyes. She'd screwed up!

"You did just fine," Kanako replied.

"But I was supposed to summon Minamoto no Yoshitsune!" Sanae cried.

Rider looked surprised, then laughed. "Ah, my apologies. You seem to be confused by my appearance. Rest assured you have not failed. I am the one you sought. The swordsman trained by the tengu, who defeated and befriended the warrior monk Benkei, and who fought many battles to bring this country to a better era."

"But-" Sanae blinked then rubbed her temples. This was all so confusing.

"Come now Sanae," Kanako said with a smile. "Summoning a tengu trained warrior on Tengu mountain with their sword has got to be fairly easy right?"

Sanae just raised her hands to the sky in exasperation. "Was ANYONE in Japanese history actually a guy?!"


Byakuren focused on her breathing. She couldn't allow distractions. Not since she was altering the spell.

When she'd first seen the fliers she'd had her doubts about entering. Everyone else at the temple had been excited, but this seemed like magic she really shouldn't be trifling with.

However the 'reward' was too dangerous to ignore. A wish without limitations was a recipe for disaster, which meant someone had to take the Grail into safekeeping. The realization that the Taoists were sure to enter only made her decision easier.

The only problem was she had no item with which to summon a Heroic Spirit. Then again perhaps that was an opportunity. Without an item she wouldn't be blinded by the obvious choices. The universe could give her the Servant she needed.

Thus she was being extra careful with the ritual. She had to make sure everything was in harmony.

When she felt perfectly in tune with her meditations, she began the ritual.

She did not remember the words she used. Words were illusion. But she knew she was performing the ritual correctly. Indeed it felt like her very blood was calling out. She was completely confident in her summoning.

And then her Servant was there.

"I am Servant Caster and-" the man froze. "Byakuren?"

Byakuren stared at the apparition before her, more shaken than she had ever been in her life.

"Brother..."


In order to maintain the balance of Gensoukyo, incidents must be allowed. However the Holy Grail War is an incident with rules of its own. To handle the conflict between these two rituals, the Hakurei Shrine will be observing the contest. In addition the following rules will be obeyed.

Servants will follow spell card rules for all battles against non Servants. All non Servants must follow spell card rules against Servants, except as below. Servants may kill each other without repercussion.

Masters cannot be targeted directly by Servants. A Master who chooses to battle alongside their Servant loses this protection. A Servant or Master will not be condemned for killing a Master who fights directly.

To allow fair battle, Servants must remain in corporeal forms at all times, barring summons from their Master or Noble Phantasm use. This should not cause undue strain due to the magical nature of Gensoukyo. Any magician unable to provide that level of magic is unfit to participate.

The Holy Grail War is a ritual just like the Spellcard Duel. Anyone, youkai or human, who interferes with the ritual for their own gain will be treated the same as if they broke the Spellcard rules.

Lastly, remember win or lose, you will have to deal with these people and their friends.

Hakurei Reimu.